She Owns a Red Cadillac and I Need an Accident

(Here, have a random piss-poor excuse of a “song” that I wrote aeons ago, because why the hell not.)

~*~

I can’t imagine being anywhere else
I can’t imagine being anywhere else but here
How the hell did you ever pick me?
Honestly, I could sing you a song
But I don’t think words can express your beauty
It’s singing to me, how the hell did we end up like this?
You bring out the beast in me…

~*~

It was the best day of our lives

Until you decided to run away

Into the highway velocity, a blood-beat wife

It’s the same old routine today

.

My bridal girl, your seatbelt’s fraying

In gasoline tears, your dress is melting

But don’t you cry too fast now

The road’s too slippery for a row

.

Hit another skid, another dancing kid

(I’m tired, I’m tired, I’m fucking tired!)

The path is twisting, I’m getting rid

(Too busy fighting, fucking watch out!)

.

You passed out again from pressing on your bruises

In silken sheets and raining scarlet roses

We’ll save you! We’ll save this

Affair, a tragedy for the intensive care unit

.

Kill me, kiss me again

With both my hands on the steering wheel

It’s more fun to die with both eyes wide shut

So don’t let me miss the thrill

.

Yellow headlights illuminate

Another fractured heart

And shattered glass against the monitor

A beat that won’t restart

.

(Crash! Crash! Cause a pileup on the intersection!

Red! Lights! Call an ambulance, fucking call 911!)

.

You passed out again from coddling your concussion

In the backseat staining sodas and cold emotions

They’ll save you! But can’t save this

Affair, a casualty for the backdoor morgue cemeteries

.

Wipe away the spit that’s fermenting on the windshield

This is the beginning of an ending of a road trip tour that failed

I’m just a pedestrian and you ran me over and out

But I got hit so hard, I lost my sense and twisted my mouth!

.

Let’s be honest, this turnpike romance was never gonna work

I guess you’re just a bad driver now and I’m the jerk…

.

(Confiscate my licence, hit the brakes now!)

.

You blacked out again and you never wanna wake up

This turbulence in California won’t have a gas station stop

I’ll save myself! I’ll save this acceleration

A passenger seat left empty come the overtaking horizon.

.

(Crash! Crash! These hearts are colliding, we’re in motion!

Red! Lights! Don’t call 911, we’re about to have fun!)

~*~

It goes to show, I hope that you know that you are
What my dreams are made of
Can’t fall asleep, can’t fall asleep
I lay in my bed awake, in my bed awake at night…

Leave a comment

Filed under Poetry

Neurotoxicity

this tiredness

melts into everything

and burns into your

mercurial core

until it turns into lead

and circulates into

your system;

weighing you down

paralysing you,

poisoning your veins

until you’re stupid,

sluggish,

stuporic,

lethargic and cold,

and every hue of

your senses

dulled down into

pencil graphite grey,

and it’s all you

can do to push before

the point breaks;

you run out of

words to say, you

run out of excuses to

give, you run out of

your willingness

to continue the story…

so you stop caring

and become

this lazy,

complacent,

apathetic,

hedonistic man

with a disregard for

his own sake

as well as others.

yes, you are working

hard, but only

to avoid interaction,

going outside,

listening to others,

possible conflicts,

social contact;

to avoid everything

that you once

enjoyed and loved,

and to keep

your intents behind

deprecating assurances

and passive acts.

you don’t know what went wrong.

you have everything

and everyone waiting for

you out there,

waiting for you to

hold on, keep up, go on

but the lead is

detaching your tongue,

replacing your blood,

constricting your diaphragm,

shriveling your organs

from decaying and necrosis,

clouding your neurons,

it’s already killing you inside

but no one ever notices

it’s a perfect slow suicide;

the masochistic cure.

and you’re too tired

to even give a shit anymore,

and you’re just tired

to do any of those things;

to stand up,

walk it off,

set to the future,

and change your ways—

it’s cliché, but hell,

you know that you’re

already fucked

and you’re just too tired

to fucking care.

Leave a comment

Filed under Poetry

Eye Candy

your brown sugar eyes

and glances that tasted

of soft candy and vanilla

lifted away the gravity

and it spun candy floss

in shades of pastel clouds

within a heart that was

as bitterly grey as can be.

Leave a comment

Filed under Poetry

Dancing with Roses and Resisting Temptation

Bleed me out, I know you’re the first to listen
When I scream aloud
I’m coming clean again, and I will do my best to
Show you who, who I was and who I am
Don’t write me off, please hear me out
My skin is so much thicker now…

~*~

But I must tell you, sweetheart

Blood is rarely so romanticised

These scarlet kisses on my skin

Are veined vanity, lesioned lies

.

Pain must be such a sorry thrill

By risqué reality in rancid roses

A glamour of the red that spills

Like liquid lipsticks and dresses

.

I love the way the slits do smile

I hate myself for being charmed

I love I loathe I lied I lust for lost

As rubious tears keep me warm

.

But each night, it ends the same

More of hurting for less the gain

I get sick of what keeps me sane

Then I forget, do it all over again

.

It might seem decadently pretty

Almost enough to vie for a taste

But those glass shoes won’t hold

When you’re waltzing on blades.

~*~

I feel it in my bones
Not feeling anymore
The writings on the wall
My scars are at the door…

Leave a comment

Filed under Poetry

Sophisticated, Manipulated

You make suffering

Sound like such an

Elegant red romance,

Sophisticated stance,

Graceful lithe dance,

A pure angel chance;

And I make suffering

Feel like destruction,

Blatant manipulation,

Discordant perdition,

The chaotic creation

Of a sloppy emotion.

Leave a comment

Filed under Poetry

little fixes

a glitch

in the system

a tear

in the hole

a burn

in charred skin

a scar

in my soul.

Leave a comment

Filed under Poetry

exhale

take my breath

i will not pause

as my cold lungs

wilt and choke

take my breath

you always do

but i don’t mind

if it means you

will breathe too.

Leave a comment

Filed under Poetry

Invisible Hands

When all you’ve got is these four walls
It’s not that hard to feel so small
Or even exist at all…

~*~

Senses desensitised, screaming silently, chained to my own body

Blindfolds and folded gags and covered hands stifling me

There’s a trap in my soul, shadows eclipse my heart

Within the midnight of my mind lies a sky, starless and dark

.

For the words I can’t speak drips like cyanide off my mouth

And it tastes more bitter and deadlier than poison when I’m unable to shout

Lips stained scarlet, eyes tear-stained, as suffering festers in doses of pain

Manacles fettered to my sanity, I can’t set free, here I’ll remain

.

The unsaid ferments in my tongue, and drowns the abyss and pierces the glass under my skin

Every nerve, every vein, every shiver, every twitch, every beat of my pulse is rebelling

For the taciturn glance that tells of a million rampaging emotions, I can only hope you understand

That I’m not at fault for this cruel affliction, I’m simply being held back by invisible hands.

Leave a comment

Filed under Poetry

hydroxyl

warmth

blossoming

in my chest

of a heartburn

as the cold liquid

slithers down

my throat

.

chills

shuddering

down my spine

like an arctic wind

tongue numb

with every

shot and coat

.

sweetness

and bitterness

vying for my

sole attention

seducing my

whims as I

fall to waste

.

but the fever

breaks out

and subsides

slow and gradual

and bitter

is always the

aftertaste.

Leave a comment

Filed under Poetry

drink or dare

cautioned glances

hushed laughter

madness taken

in little sips

dirty secrets

gin and water

madness hidden

mine to keep.

Leave a comment

Filed under Poetry