Did someone turn the lights out
Or is it just another dark cloud in my head?
Cause I’m cut deep, my heart won’t beat
Deep down low it’s killing me
If I wanna scratch out yesterday
I’ve got so much I need to say…
Just how can you stop the loaded weapon
From being pulled, when the hair trigger
Is your own rapidly palpitating heart?
Oh shut up me, you don’t know any better,
But you wished that you did from the start.
Plastering hard concrete on your visage
To permanently solidify your playacted role
As the beast inside you sharpens its razor teeth
Screeching against your sandpaper rough soul
And those blinded idiots never quite knew
The shit storm you were really going through
Never saw that your mannequin plastic smile
Was too perfect, just too happy to be real
Calculated and practised to be worthwhile
That it radiates the hatred that you truly feel
And it’s killing you, you’re so sick of the disease
You’re weak, spineless, an apathetic neurotic
So damn useless, bitter as the coffee you dismiss
How can one be paralysed by being pathetic?
But hell, it’s just a stupid phase, isn’t it?
Can’t concern mom and dad with my bullshit
It’s just an angst desperation, demon arms race
Can’t bother my friends with the problems I face
Trying to convince yourself you won’t choke
As you wipe fingerprints off your bruised throat
Suffocation of a rapid fire oxygen evacuation
I’m happy, I’m happy, can’t you see my emotion?
The lights of the stars burrow under the moon
The shadows infect you with regal monster gloom
Glass exhibits of your blank face in the museum
They stuff and capture you, put you in the tomb
Another day of read lines, red lines on the wall
You don’t break your fall when that curtain falls
I’m not alone…I’m not alone…but…I’m lonely
I’m fighting, I’m fighting, and I’m losing badly.
And you raise your lacerated blue wrists again
Praying to the charcoal dark smoke of heaven
But the inky-black blood that is raining down
Is never enough for you to completely drown
Your voice splinters as you choke on your laugh
Judgement glaring through, you try to keep it up
But it’s not enough at all, no, it’s never enough…
No, you’re just never fucking enough.
I think I need help
Cause I’m drowning in myself
It’s sinking in, I can’t pretend
That I ain’t been through hell
I think I need help
I’m drowning in myself.