H.appiness, E.nergy, L.ove, P.assion, ME.

Did someone turn the lights out
Or is it just another dark cloud in my head?
Cause I’m cut deep, my heart won’t beat
Deep down low it’s killing me
If I wanna scratch out yesterday
I’ve got so much I need to say…

~*~

Just how can you stop the loaded weapon

From being pulled, when the hair trigger

Is your own rapidly palpitating heart?

Oh shut up me, you don’t know any better,

But you wished that you did from the start.

Plastering hard concrete on your visage

To permanently solidify your playacted role

As the beast inside you sharpens its razor teeth

Screeching against your sandpaper rough soul

And those blinded idiots never quite knew

The shit storm you were really going through

Never saw that your mannequin plastic smile

Was too perfect, just too happy to be real

Calculated and practised to be worthwhile

That it radiates the hatred that you truly feel

And it’s killing you, you’re so sick of the disease

You’re weak, spineless, an apathetic neurotic

So damn useless, bitter as the coffee you dismiss

How can one be paralysed by being pathetic?

But hell, it’s just a stupid phase, isn’t it?

Can’t concern mom and dad with my bullshit

It’s just an angst desperation, demon arms race

Can’t bother my friends with the problems I face

Trying to convince yourself you won’t choke

As you wipe fingerprints off your bruised throat

Suffocation of a rapid fire oxygen evacuation

I’m happy, I’m happy, can’t you see my emotion?

The lights of the stars burrow under the moon

The shadows infect you with regal monster gloom

Glass exhibits of your blank face in the museum

They stuff and capture you, put you in the tomb

Another day of read lines, red lines on the wall

You don’t break your fall when that curtain falls

I’m not alone…I’m not alone…but…I’m lonely

I’m fighting, I’m fighting, and I’m losing badly.

And you raise your lacerated blue wrists again

Praying to the charcoal dark smoke of heaven

But the inky-black blood that is raining down

Is never enough for you to completely drown

Your voice splinters as you choke on your laugh

Judgement glaring through, you try to keep it up

But it’s not enough at all, no, it’s never enough…

No, you’re just never fucking enough.

~*~

I think I need help
Cause I’m drowning in myself
It’s sinking in, I can’t pretend
That I ain’t been through hell
I think I need help
I’m drowning in myself.

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