Monthly Archives: June 2017

sophomore soporific

bed weather

is mocking me

i’m lost in muffled

humming of a

drowning reverie

i could be asleep

this very moment

and dreaming in glass

but instead i’m

still stuck here dying

and rotting in class.

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que no tiene sano

you drive me

i n s a n e

but it’s always

m y  g a i n.

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escapism

i’ll climb

out of my skull

and attend

my own wake

i’ll die just

to live once again

if that meant

a temporary escape.

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Doses of Quintessence: Verseuchen

~*~

WELTSCHMERZ

There’s a constricting tug-of-war within my heart

Arteries painfully pulling veins against my blood

Desperate to gain the upper hand for my emotions

But both end up losing, falling, and covered in mud.

~*~

SCHADENFREUDE

That’s a goddamn stripclub travesty

Dear, not my suicide bedroom scene

So don’t break in a fucked soliloquy

That’ll break this automatic machine.

~*~

SEHNSUCHT

Nothing but demarcation on magnanimous affairs

The indisposition scurrilous of a conniption share

If I commiserate my pretense for synaptic humans

Will they hold my head under to inject tryptophan?

~*~

MUTTERSEELENALLEIN

I repudiated my own self-blames

I’ll shut the closet, elucidate this game

If I emancipate my bastard whim

Shall it be considered a cavalcade sin?

~*~

ANSTÜRMEN

Calamity, that’s my designated appellation’s lacklustre

I’m a raging typhoon tantrum, an unmitigated disaster

I wreck lives, dishevel memories, or command discord

So stay away from me, I can ruin you with mere words.

~*~

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Doses of Quintessence: Pozione

~*~

DELIZIOSO

Embrace me in your finessed sophistication

Of my darling soligatto’s donna solmization

Filaments of belletristic novellas and artistry

My erudition tastes like cilantro of cuisinery.

~*~

CREPUSCOLO

I am just a germane alluvial painter

With no colours left tinctured on the canvas

My parlance haunted by the fenders

Of my wayward echelon monochrome past.

~*~

FIORI

Shades splashed on soft silken geranium

A shower of pastels and falling pelargonium

Lily agaphanthus and rhododendron sets

These floral girls of mine, my bonny cossets.

~*~

PASSEGGIATA

Oh, such verdancy of chocolates and hearts

Frolic in field of stars where dreams restart

In a box where I’ll keep all my secret flowers

May shall be my repose, the meteor showers.

~*~

MOZZAFIATO

Our lagniappe paradise was arcadian, tranquil pure

Ignominy but an epithet, shunned midnight vesture

But alas! the timorous beasts that troubled our past

Consumed for a comeuppance and caught up at last.

~*~

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loss of appetite

thanks

so much for

having the amazing

ability to kill my appetite

it’s really helping

out with my

diet.

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[Scar][let]

angry scarlet

constellations

on my visage

i wish sorely

to simply pop

but if they are

because of you

i’ll treat each

one as a pretty

crimson star

so that i would

never have to

vain to stop.

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taciturn molecules

colliding glances

which screamed

of whispery lies

it was the closest

we’ve ever got to

saying goodbye.

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letters to s.d.: fragment #7 {heights}

i loa[REDACTED] [REDACTED]out [REDACTED]tor, alw[REDACTED] remember.

.

please don’t…

i can’t bear the thought

of this pen moving

and throwing up useless

bullshit yet again…

why do i try? why do i try?

i want to reach for you.

you’re only five feet six inches

short, but when i stand on

your shoulders, i see the whole

universe tearing itself up

apart in neon explosions and

consternated constellations,

and i’m the maestro conductor,

tapping away and waving

the concatenations, every beat

of discord, and the astral

symphony of an entropy.

save me with your caramel arms

don’t let me get sucked in

by the impending black hole

that nullifies every cell, every

song, every damn belief

in my body and system, until

i am reduced to cosmic echoes

of a voided wavelength,

fraudulent e.m.p.t.i.n.e.s.s.

and somehow i would rather

let this planet eat me away.

but don’t let my god go

away for me, love every comet

and asteroid as if it were

my heartbeat and soul,

manipulate the disaster of

my negative existence,

and kiss me goodnight on

this somnolent moontide.

i stopped these knives for you

i’ll make you proud again.

this time, i won’t let the demons

steal my comets and win.

my dearest s.d., you were

always a giant standing among

toy soldiers, so commandeer

the garrison of the angels straight

to heal my stretched humanity

and make my universe spin

once again. i’ll wish for your

comforting star each lonely night,

s.d., so please watch over me

and hope i don’t fall away this time.

love, wishes, and goodbye; signed,

your bleeding little blue moon.

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letters to s.d.: fragment #6 {promise}

darling, you[REDACTED] be [REDACTED]ay

.

i’m sorry.

i didn’t mean to.

what have i done.

i won’t think about it.

i won’t do it again.

for you, i’ll try.

not to die.

.

fuck fuck fuck fuck i’m d[REDACTED].

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