Monthly Archives: August 2017

The Tale of Vega and Lyra

“Quand on a pas ce que l’on aime, il faut aimer ce que l’on a.”

“When one doesn’t have the things that one loves, one must love what one has.”

~*~

I am, most inarguably, the brightest star among our constellated cluster

My incandescence and radiance rendering those beside me quite lacklustre

But all my kerfuffled pride seemed to fall and my skill seemed to diminish

As I peered further than I ought to and found you, surging me with a zealous finish

.

I attempted to elevate myself, to glow brighter than several masses of exploding stars

Perhaps I was jubilant of your thoughts, or perhaps I wish to have been noticed

But despite my gradient brightness, you’ve never picked me up under your radar

As I tired of this game and my lucent forms gradually simmered to a conserved niche

.

Yes; though my recalescent rays have never succeeded to pierce your distant, algid core

I’ll still keep on burning, I’ll keep conflagrating ardently with the splendour of a million suns

Though the unborn future will surely come where I’m surpassed by a star brighter more

Fait accompli, there’ll always be a resonating echo in space when I was the most candescent one.

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The Girl Who Dreams of Sun

She’s the smoke
She’s dancin’ fancy pirouettes
Swan diving off of the deep end
Of my tragic cigarette
She’s steam
Laughing on the windowpanes
The never-ending swaying haze
Oh, that ever smiling maze

~*~

I lost the light

Under my pillow

Where I hide candy

And all my sorrows

I believed that wishes

Will find their way home

Despite the planets

And these broken bones

Just kiss my reveries

Paint me another song

And if field flowers bend

I shall dance along

My peach butterfly skirt

Waves for the wind

Calm necklace of carnation

Grazes my tender skin

So fly with me, my angel

Don’t wake me now

I’m talking in my sleep

Silk curtains flutter as I bow

Innocence and foxes

Waltzing under a moon

Where shadows don’t exist

And stars nurture noon

The dreams I stole for you

In nights of silver sky

Infinity takes slow breaths

And we shall never die

I lost my light again

Under my soft pillow

But I’m too tired from dreaming

I’ll look for it tomorrow.

~*~

And oh, how the piano knows
The piano knows something
I don’t know…

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the taint

don’t let me be the martyr

who shall break your skin

to be the glimmering teeth

baptising you your first sin

.

don’t let me be responsible

staining the gabardine silk

sully not such chaste ivory

this is not sheer selfish will

.

i do give a damn about you

hell, don’t you fucking see?

and i’m just trying my best

so you don’t end up like me.

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fallacy

i have been

looking the

wrong way

my eyes are

spinning as

my legs fray

i have been

searching a

wrong place

if i was just

infallible, it

would be a

m.i.s.t.a.k.e.

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tossing & turning

every bone

within my body

screams tired

it’s barely

before midnight

but i’m ready

to be taken

into the throes

of sweet oblivion

and sleep

but insomnia

keeps pulling me

back into the

inevitable cycle

that i end up

falling for

every single night

polar opposites

like a magnet

rending me apart

to shreds inside

until i bleed

i don’t know

what i should do

i’m too frustrated

i’m so confused

and i’m just fucking tired

and sick of this

internal tug of war

—[depression     versus     anxiety]—

battling inside

my system

but in the end,

they both always win

and i fucking l o s e.

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Missing Maidens

As the maidens flourish and falter

Under soft halos of an ashen moon

Scarlet begonias forget their heart

The daze of the mist in foggy gloom

Lost memories flicker away and fade

While fireworks of blue stars shower

A ritual of evanescent, in acrylic grey

And the maidens effloresce and falter.

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accidental relapse

so trigger me

make me weak

scars on skin

make me seek

so trigger me

i know i’m weak

but is that all

you want to risk?

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The Girl On The Train

“I have lost control over everything, even the places in my head.” ~The Girl On The Train; Paula Hawkins

~*~

The start was the year

The broken was the fall

The night was the fear

The murder was the call

Caught into a secret lie

The witness exchanged

In the blink of her eyes

Her perception changed

On darkness and vomit

Stalked a nuclear family

A crime witnessed writ

Eyes unfocus unreliably

Screaming for their life

And blood hits the floor

Twist that dulled knife

Burn down all the doors

As a love goes screwing

The confessions infest

A person goes missing

Dug into a ruined mess

When a heart runs wild

And the pain sets again

The suburbia is defiled

Alcohol always listens

It screams like the train

And burns down tracks

Of their mistaken pain

And a gruesome attack

On shattered memory

The suspense gets lost

Divorces, drunk sorry

And all that it has cost

The blackouts are gory

Stale violence so grim

Can’t tell the full story

Only the ones on skin

But pieces will unlock

And truth can be found

Of a nice liar that knocks

A mistress under ground

The start were the lovers

The broken were the sins

The night was the horror

And the murder was within.

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gone.

i want to

s a v e  y o u

because i

couldn’t save

m y s e l f.

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Saving my Sleep for the Sirens

The frame, the friction
It’s the reason that we all become aware
And we change for no reason
Some say it’s better to fall asleep and disappear
It’s time we finally look at what we’ve done
And wake up…

~*~

I cannot sleep, this haunt persisted to stay

I need a hand here to suffocate my throat

Lie, otherwise I won’t have another today

Amidst arctic isles and glaciers I will float

.

Don’t they know that’s all I dream about?

Perhaps I am just too ambitious to forget

Say I’m right, indulged in septic fantasies

Teetering at the edge of a cliff over death

.

But my jealous mind is pushing me farther

I couldn’t dissolve my nightmares, after all

Standing with my back against the red sun

And screaming, I have never felt more tall

.

I am another thought that lacerates skins

If you bleed out because of me, so let it be

Seeking an escape, the exit sign’s blinding

And I’m chasing circles away from misery

.

I am slipping out, my foothold is unstable

Through rain and ashes, I bathe in debris

Threads unravelling of stitches miserable

I cannot fall from touch, never sedentary

.

I’ve wished for a dollar that I won’t be rich

They call me insane, but that’s the way it is

The point I try to make is never transparent

But the light from my lies makes it apparent.

~*~

So here we are, we’re waiting for a fall
And on the radio they’re calling on satellites
Like they’re going to save us all…

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