Monthly Archives: February 2020

Escape Route


Who the hell are you
To make them want to give a damn
Beyond the flowers in your mouth
You’ll never be a better man

So let the burdens in your chest
Escape, you know you’ll never rest
So point the gun up to your roof
And have a taste, it’s just the truth

“Maybe I haven’t been
The best intention to you
I find it’s easier to leave
Than to guess without a clue”

It’s what they always do

You only wanted out
The way that you don’t care’s
Your escape route.


Hello and happy leap day or whatever the hell, here’s a bad song I wrote a long while back when my dumb mind was doing the big sad hurty thing again for no particular reason except that I’m a depressive piece of dirtclod, so we have another shitty unfinished song thing on an untuned guitar because I’m in dire need of some overdue fucking therapy but can’t have some!!! Sans all the nice audio editing this time because my computer wouldn’t let up so it sucks even more. This hurts me more than it hurts anyone else. Or actually both. Everyone will suffer. That’s just existence. Will I ever finish any of these??? Probably also friggin’ not. That’s also just existence. No wonder everyone absolutely hates my guts now pfft. Anyway. My lemon green tea’s getting cold so I have to go now.

Leave a comment

Filed under Other stuff

Dear Mexican Bean :^)

Voice like an angel wandering lost in hell

Indelible words that cut beyond the teeth

Classic candidness, gentle grin left to tell

Thorns and trickery, twisting tines sweet

Over and past, your chase makes me well

Reprised recovery to sing me back to sleep

.

Feathers and caramel skin clash in shades

Underwater elegance, a bitter promenade

Every story you tell staunches the bleeding

Nevermind forever, momentum is fleeting

To every faded reminiscence we shall cheer

Enamoured by your honesty, a soul worn clear

Stay heartfelt honey, may the tides keep you near.

Leave a comment

Filed under Poetry

affettuoso

ivory keys

press down on a

sheathed smile

every note calling

a quiet honey—

ebony in the night

it’s just a torn

coronary,

.

monochrome

crush in metronome

a maiden’s heart

aggressive, then soft

cheeks kissing floor

a melody in thorns

she shouldn’t…but the

shards feel so pretty;

Leave a comment

Filed under Poetry

Sixthborn of the Sixthborne

Rise from the grave

The spider threads around your neck

Hold you up for the night

They won’t notice that you’re a wreck

.

Feet dragged on the sand

The windy desert air so unforgiving

Carry the lambs to slaughter

With the heavy hearts you’re leading

.

But don’t let the bandages

Unravel from their sightless minds

They won’t like what they’ll see

And you don’t know what you’ll find

.

When you reach the beyond

The place where Death goes to die

And any life in the threshold

Is reduced to a disambiguated sigh

.

Dare you trespass the end?

Let the truth crush every passing breath?

Dare you be the willing Judas

For the ones whose salvations are spent?

.

So return from where you belong

Beneath the ancient dunes that hide no man

Whilst the souls you damned shriek

To sate your starvation, till next kingdom come.

Leave a comment

Filed under Poetry

M a n i f e s t

i will never understand how you leave me like this.

this sorry state of mine, wretchedly piteous. i feel as though all of the pivotal sockets in my body are being violently wrenched away from their joints; every part of me is so stretched out to its very limits that if you were to do so much as to gently touch me, your hand would simply rip right through my gossamer skin.

yet this pain…it’s rather so elegant, so otherworldly, so magnanimously efficacious, that i simply can’t help but agonisingly writhe my way back to it again, despite knowing the inevitable torture that lies ahead. the sight of you. the sound of you. the merest infinitesimal sense of you—so frustratingly palpable that your conjured afterimage begins to bleed into the monochrome universe around me, until i could no longer see anyone nor anything anymore, but you.

you. you. you. you’re clinging onto me like confused kerosene to an open flame, ideas scheming ideations, screaming ideologies, spilling idle love.

you leave me like this, and yet you l e a v e .

Leave a comment

Filed under Prose

Winner, Winner, Quite The Sinner

I’ll take it all

I’ve got the wiles

Epoxy skin and

Devil-may-care style

.

That stalks the weak

Devours the young

The bones of old

Are left unsung

.

I’ll take it all

It takes a while

Cemented shoes and

A crook’s bladed smile

.

That draws the veins

Close to their end

And leaves the bones

Out for the mend.

Leave a comment

Filed under Poetry

closer to closure

Consider this, consider this
The hint of the century
Consider this the slip
That brought me to my knees, failed
What if all these fantasies come
Flailing around, now I’ve said too much…

~*~

fucking upset.

why is that so?

is it thinking about

the deliberate act

of running steel beyond

your muscle enough

to hit bone, or is it

the happy thought that your

friends won’t give a

fuck about you anymore?

self-pitying act, you

find yourself repulsive

and reel back more as you

find yourself glorifying

the tasteless apathy

.

won’t be missed.

a face like wiped fog

on the windowpane

awkward jokes that never

hit humour quite right

undecoded personality

no one will want to

put up with anymore

won’t be missed?

tears might fall at a

funeral, but it will quickly

wash off, along with you

and the way you laugh

and your paper body

won’t. be. missed.

.

and still, no one.

but why do you even

pretend to be surprised?

the curiosity of their

imminent reactions

burns a giant hole

in your dysfunctional

brain and makes you

grimace, deceptive smile

a burning impulse to

get it over with and find out

are you fucking upset

that you know no one will

give a fuck, or because

you already saw it coming?

~*~

That’s me in the corner
That’s me in the spotlight
Losing my religion
Trying to keep up with you
And I don’t know if I can do it
Oh no, I’ve said too much
I haven’t said enough…

Leave a comment

Filed under Poetry

anglerfish

tiny anchors around my soft waist

pull me under—it was all my

fault, for i’d swallowed them whole

.

the bottom of the ocean holds

great pressure, and strange creatures

constructed of paper and bones

.

poking, prodding, peeking out

beyond their weary calcium sneers

yet they look so fascinating to me

.

whilst the absence of sun has long

bleached their complexion to a

ghastly paleness, the kind i would

.

literally die for, and only the barest

hints of trembling oxygen occasionally

bubble out of their thin blue lips

.

perhaps their anchors had long dissolved

and they’ll rise to the surface soon—maybe

if i embraced the cold, i’ll finally be one of them.

Leave a comment

Filed under Poetry

pseudonym [8.5]

047012d7-820e-4edf-86a8-9267db38f2cb

ALLEVIATE

careless sight of you

grin like a thieving feline

lifting sense away.

NERVES MAXIM

a single green heart

is all it would take for me

to snap and confess.

DESUETUDE

manual creakiness

the typewriter blots letters

manuscripts of shame.

YEUK (THE ITCH)

so what’s the plan now?

i’m just your nasty blister

will you bleed me out?

Leave a comment

Filed under Poetry

a picture of patience

72ca68fa-6c2a-4fbf-a555-825efe400455

half-remembered

plastic wiles

you’ve got that

kinda poppy smile

spring fills envy

and i’m steady

though my mind’s

about to break

if i’m sorry

you’re not ready

i’ll still own up

to my mistakes

when you find out

what it means

the oceans stain

with solitary pink

i’ll keep my secrets

right beside you

hope you sleep

before you blink

but it’s early

oh, far too early

and maybe i’ll be glad

for this may be an

augean journey

but you shall be my iliad.

Leave a comment

Filed under Poetry