Category Archives: Other stuff

Trying to keep busy, bee ba boo bee~


Just a quick little timelapse video with some things I recently made. I know it isn’t the highest quality or a frigging award-winning cinematographic masterpiece or anything of that sort, soz. This was literally filmed with some natural 7 AM lighting, on my phone that was propped up on a haphazard stack of books and held together by a bit of kneaded eraser, and the entire setup was constantly in danger of completely collapsing altogether if I dared so much as to carelessly move my elbow. Which was all too terrifyingly plausible, judging by how fucking cramped this small table is already. And I forgot to lock in the focus before I started, so there’s a lot of dizzying blurry bits in there as well. Lastly, please pardon my fatarse hand constantly getting in the way as I hastily mixed in the colours.

For the artwork, it’s just your run-of-the-mill watercolour painting in my main cartoony style, just a quick scribble of two of my favourite people in the world looking all goofy and stuff. It’s actually a redraw of an old drawing I’ve had pasted in my journal for over a year now, hence why the paper size (btw I’m using Fabriano paper, cold pressed, 25% cotton, 200gsm) is half as small than what I tend to usually work on. Speaking of, I’ve also had my dearest Sakura Koi set for a year now and though a bit stubborn and chalky at times, this thing is still holding up like a true champ despite all the relentless abuse I put it through and I’m rather fond of it ahah. Anywhozzles, this piece is so far away from completely done—there’s still about a thousand layers to go (though not as much as the fancy schmancier portraits thank beelzebub, those ones are honestly a headache and a half smh), but it took me maybe thirty minutes to pencil in the initial sketch and finalise the lineart, and about ten minutes to lay down these initial flat colours. I also didn’t pre-mix my palette beforehand—in usual Allen fashion—and it’s kinda hella messy for now, but it wouldn’t be my art if it wasn’t fuck-all!!! I kinda have half a mind to film the last end stages and timelapse that as well but I guess we’ll see about that…?

As for the track, bloody hell, it took way longer than the actual artwork itself. Like way, way, mikey fuckin waaay longer. Maybe a couple hours, give or take??? So firstly, I threw together a quick lofi beat with a nice looper (i had way too much fun with the filter and gater here can y’all tell), then it came to figuring out what sound bite I wanted to sample (ofc i settled with one from a metal meme video), then extracting the sample from the aforementioned video and setting the right bpm and key. And then I had to arrange the various elements I had and add some effects; first to the vocal samples, then to the additional piano and midi audio, and then finally to the overall track itself. Which also meant that I had to personally customise the fx pedals, which took some fiddling with and figuring out as well since I don’t really know jack shit about music production. But in the end, I settled for a bit of tremolo here and there on the sound bites (but not too much as to be blatantly overpowering), added some slight distortion and spacey reverb for that nice ambience, upped the gain and boosted the bass for an extra vintage ethereal vibe, and included just a smidge of compression to reduce the audio peaks and make it sound a lot more cohesive altogether. Added one last CD quality preset mix for the final mastering and boom, this piece of shit for an end product!! It’s really not the best one I’ve created so far. Or at all, by any other criteria. It’s honestly kindergarten-level simple and very stripped-down compared to my other few WIP projects and I wish I could’ve added just a few more elements to make it truly stand out—but then again, the former took days and days of relentless editing and this was thrown together in about five hours so that has to cut me some slack?? Idk but yo my fire asf mixtape be coming out soon for only $69.69 on bandcamp pls support this starving artist jk

I had no idea how much of that dumb rant even made sense to anyone at all—but long story short, I made some okay art and music thingies, they were really fun to make, I’m quite happy to waste my time with learning cool stuff that maybe doesn’t feel like too much of a waste, and I don’t really have any friends anymore nor nearby people who’ll even give half a damn about my random hyperfixations so I’ll just incessantly overelaborate about it on here instead??? That’s all thanks for coming to my TEDx byeee

Update: seven or eight not-so-quick glazes later, here’s how it looks with the flat colours fully blocked in, and then it’s finally detail and shadow time :’)

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felt kinda burlesque, might delete later idk


I have an ambitious gouache painting that I’ve been highkey procrastinating on for over a week now (as glimpsed above), several unembellished sketches and band flash artworks for newly-released songs to attend to, difficult Swedish language lessons to catch up on, and literal months’ worth of unfinished classic Doctor Who episodes to watch, and yet what do I do??? This dumb fucking shit instead. Things have been rather mundane—even more so than usual, shocker—and I’m running out of other insipid downtimes to amuse my incredibly-short attention span with with so whatever here ya go.

I’m gonna level with y’all, But It’s Better If You Do is one of my favourite P!ATD songs ever (their debut album is also my most favourite one in general), but it isn’t a song I’m completely familiarised with playing and wow the amount of takes it took to get even a half-decent shot, jesus wept. Not to mention the dogs outside choosing to rival me by having an impromptu barking contest at five in the AM. I probably also should’ve taken five minutes out of my time to change key maybe a half-step or so higher because my sucky voice range kept unhelpfully bottoming out but, oh well. \(:O)/ Lastly, I went all ham in the ad-libs at the end for reasons unbeknownst even to me, so there’s a lot of flat notes and unsteady pitches and stray runs there as well—but you know what, t’was stupidly fun to do anyway idfc!! Also I need a haircut. So incredibly badly. Fuck it’s been at least five months since my last one and my head’s starting to look like a foul giant’s untrimmed pubic hair. Bloody nasty.

But I digress. I just hope everyone else is coping with this current situation considerably better than me ahahaHAH screw it we’re all going batshit insane and the world’s about to end hell yeah!!!! Anyway in the meantime, here’s me dummy chonky cat being stupidly adorable to make up for all my transgressions in this post. Stay safe and don’t be idjits and wash ya dang hands, tack så mycket och hej då~


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Escape Route


Who the hell are you
To make them want to give a damn
Beyond the flowers in your mouth
You’ll never be a better man

So let the burdens in your chest
Escape, you know you’ll never rest
So point the gun up to your roof
And have a taste, it’s just the truth

“Maybe I haven’t been
The best intention to you
I find it’s easier to leave
Than to guess without a clue”

It’s what they always do

You only wanted out
The way that you don’t care’s
Your escape route.


Hello and happy leap day or whatever the hell, here’s a bad song I wrote a long while back when my dumb mind was doing the big sad hurty thing again for no particular reason except that I’m a depressive piece of dirtclod, so we have another shitty unfinished song thing on an untuned guitar because I’m in dire need of some overdue fucking therapy but can’t have some!!! Sans all the nice audio editing this time because my computer wouldn’t let up so it sucks even more. This hurts me more than it hurts anyone else. Or actually both. Everyone will suffer. That’s just existence. Will I ever finish any of these??? Probably also friggin’ not. That’s also just existence. No wonder everyone absolutely hates my guts now pfft. Anyway. My lemon green tea’s getting cold so I have to go now.

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Misadventures in Sheet Music

Pardon this little ramble. But I have been attempting to figure out the part highlighted in red via sight reading alone (and with the help of my ever-resilient theory notes ofc, because I’m that incredibly thick and need some sort of handicap, otherwise I’ll just straight-out die) for the last eight or so minutes; and I’ve just figured out the key and barely gotten through the first three notes (or first chord, whatever the hell it even is) in the treble staff section, and already a monstrous headache is flaring up beneath my temples oh god my stupid brain cells are starting to break out with hives dear gracious spirit of brett and eddy save me from this consonant perdition pls ;-;

I don’t really know why I’m doing this when I don’t even have a piano to play it on anyway, ahahah. Matter of fact, acquiring said instrument might just actually help in easing my mind’s incessant troubles as I embark in such a futile quest. But I’m too poor for that shit and this is what happens when the internet’s being a dysfunctional fuckass (much like the person typing this, get roasted bitch) and I have nothing else better to waste my time on. But I just—I desperately need this skill. Somehow. For reasons. Not really for any useful nor productive reasons, but for reasons nonetheless. Alright. I can do this. I can do this. I have five and a half more pages of this. Christ wearing tights, someone stab me in the jugular with a violin bow to the beat of Bach’s Toccata and Fugue in D Minor. I can do this.

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Note to self

(just a bit of gormless self-indulgent whinging, nvm)

Continue reading

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a song about rain (but it doesn’t make any sense)

It’s not the heavy rain
That makes me feel things
But I never realised
Just how cold autumn is
Without an extra layer
Of sun, na na na na

But not from the sky
No, not from far above
Not from the yellow ball
That scorched our sense
Our summer skins loved

Rather, it’s the weather
That I feel from every smile
Every little highs and blushing sighs
Making dark nights worthwhile
From the coffee mugs
Still warm from last calls
Or the cookie in the cookie jar
Alone without a hand to fall

And snatch it up, a midnight treat
Oh, it’s never been this sweet

Wait…where was I?
The rain has stopped falling
Well, I suppose till next time
I’ll dream of hurricanes, my darling.

Happy first birthday to this absolutely shitty song that I wrote and recorded last year while lying flat-out dead in our dorm’s study hall (mmm, catch that sweeet natural big room reverb sonnn) somewhere in the middle of the night, severely sick from the flu and highly depressed and running on about 0.5 minutes of sleep as I constantly stall on an ARTS1 + HUM100 + COMM10 combo kill strike fucking essay due the next day or so. Also yeah it had just started raining during that time and it was pretty cosy hence the song theme—not that I don’t always write about rain half the time anyway but yk what I mean. And it’s somewhat rainy right now sometimes but not really fuck you climate change so I’ll count this as relevant-ish. Anyhow. Hope y’all a kick out of how stupidly weird I sound here. Like wth it’s only been a year since passed and yet I already sound so d i f f e r e n t how,,,

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D. I. D. I. T. M?


Did I do it to myself
I found a million ways to die
I never said that I was angry
Only did my best to lie

And now I ache like
I’m reversible
Turned inside out
To play it cool
They fell in love
The side of me
I found to be more cruel

Do you enjoy this?
The madness of the solace
Lock yourself again
Talk to the friends in your closet
Then again, maybe it’s the best
Maybe it’s the best to leave
Before they call it

Did I do it to myself?
Did they know just how it felt?


Yooo guess what,,, it’s time once more for some sleep-deprived 3 AM emotional meltdowns but in really shitty short song form!!! 😬😬😬

I honestly don’t even know what this is. It was just me being inexplicably sad, penning down some shallow garbage and sitting on the filthy kitchen floor downstairs (as not to disturb my sick mother and younger siblings who have school in a couple hours’ time) while I hiss at the noisy-ass rats to shut the hell up because they’re fucking up my recording. Also, I don’t know why I wrote something that requires me to have three pairs of lungs just to properly sing when I could barely go through the rap verse in TØP’s Chlorine without completely dying from asphyxiation. But I’ll throw myself off into the edge of outer space now I guess.


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#StayWoke


Alright, my cat Artemis is taking a nap in the other room and the walls of this house are paper-thin so I probably shouldn’t be kicking up some insane noise like this in the bedroom—but then againnn, Artemis is finally fuckin asleep and this is probably one of the rare chances I’ll get to record anything today, so screw it. Sorry for disturbing you a lot, furball.

Anyway, yeah. Here’s a kinda lazy cover of Redbone by Childish Gambino. I’ve been really obsessed with the song ever since I stumbled upon a damn good acoustic version of it somewhere online, and I decided to go ahead and put my own little spin on it while the hype in my brain is still wildly burning even though I haven’t even fully memorised it yet ffs. So if you could just kindly ignore all of the tiny mistakes and earth-shaking voice cracks, since this was like my third take and the entirety of my untrained, untalented, compromised vocal folds were giving up on me. It’s just not built for this kind of fuckery, lemme tell you. Also I spent literally an entire afternoon hunkered down in front of my broken laptop, messing around on Audacity and trying to salvage the shitty audio for what it’s worth, so does that earn me brownie points? Ah, whatever.

Now if you’ll excuse me, I have a tired cheeto baby to pet back from her rousing slumber, ja.


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Are You Nasty?

…because this is what a deadbeat emo burnout’s Friday mornings are wasted on, apparently.

Is the audio quality crackly and absolutely shitty??? Do I invariably fuck up a lot??? Does my awful voice sound like I just came out of a raging three-day flu that nearly sent me back to my deathbed again??? (that part is true, at least.) Is there a constant background noise of crowing roosters and crashing plates and crying children outside??? Do I look like I’m still even sentient enough to give a damn??? Well, yes, yes, yes, yes, and no. This is a one-take thing I pretty much sped through just to pretend that I’m still a human thing that isn’t uselessly floating through in an endless void, so. Lesson of the story: never leave me all alone in the house before breakfast ever again, please. For my own sake and yours. And also the neighbour’s. Especially the neighbours.

Alright cool, I’m probably gonna get some unwanted but inevitable clout for this. Gotta go hate myself now, ja.

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Call me an ionian g-clef ’cause yo, I’m in major treble (oh wow sorry i’ll show myself out now)

slightly unrelated, but hey here’s a dumb music band art thing i did a while back—mostly just throwing this in so that this entire cursed post wouldn’t be a total eyesore 👀

Alright, it’s three in the morning and I’m mostly delirious, you all know what that means…it’s time for another stupid rant thing that literally no one cares about!!! I have absolutely no idea as to what demographic this entire post will make sense to, but I have been staring at nothing but notes and more notes and surprise! even more fuckin notes!!! for actual hours now and I just needed a break to set my head back on straight. So here’s a bit of a weird lengthy personal music-related talk about, well, music and all that jazz. No pun intended. For this instance, anyway. Okay, no more bad music puns, I promise.

So far, my current progress has been going immensely slow but okay overall, I suppose. Apart from your usual classic starter pack of making-basic-covers-of-simple-four-chord-songs-from-UG, I’ve also been trying to experiment with creating chord progressions and composing tiny snippets of punk and djent-esque riffs which might sound nice overlayed with some power chords (my scale/mode game isn’t quite sweep-picking dmitry demyanenko-level god-mode yet but I can make do for now) and just a little bit of a filthier guitar tone and a hell-lot of distortion. But yeah, it’s kinda difficult to envision how this shit will actually sound when I’m playing on an acoustic instrument (stg once i get one of those gorgeous seven-string music man monarchy majesty bois and an axe-fx it’s over for all you fuckers jk). Improvising solos are fun as well but I think I’m abusing the dissonance slash bending power just a little bit too much??? Idk it just sounds cool to me. Probably sounds worse live though hahaha jk

On the other hand, I’ve been a bit stuck on studying intervals and tritones for goddamn hours at an end now and it’s so confusing snsjsj it’s highkey driving me insane. Notations and rhythms and metres and key signatures and scales were fun and games and bloody candyland, but god call me Patrick ’cause I am stumped here. There’s just so much to take in, augmented and diminished and perfect and double accidentals and both and none and inversions and everything is just a complete ancient hieroglyphic mess to my eyes right now (and no, not the cool phrygian dominant kind either, if you catch my drift). It’s still a highly mindblowing concept though, and the more I read about it, the easier it gets for me so,, win-win!!! I should also probably do a lot more ear-training and sight-reading because I still can’t identify notes proficiently enough to even save my life. Just trying to distinguish between each major and minor scale alone is making my head hurt so much, I’m probably gonna have severe haunting auditory hallucinations for weeks after this. I’ve honestly never been more jealous towards human beings with perfect pitch as I have this very moment ahahah ;-;

And sort of digressing here, but tabbing and polyrhythms and fingerpicking and tapping and harmonics, oh my! Gotta learn that stuff as well. Need to make me some of those smooth groovy crunchy funky math rock riffs, my guy. I obviously won’t be pulling off an Ichika Nito or anything even remotely close to that kind of heavenly genius anytime soon but hey, might as well have some fun and run with it. One thing at a time though. I should really set a legitimate practice routine that doesn’t involve 95% of said session with me liberally pouring sugary caffeine down my throat as I idly waste my precious time mucking about online in the dead of the night (but knowing me, i’ll probably just go “fuck it”, as i do, and wing everything to hell until something in my system inevitably breaks). Lastly, I’m trying to find a good song that should be relatively easy enough for me to learn and transcribe by ear, but I’ve been admittedly procrastinating on that task because ngl, it’s pretty intimidating as all fuck. Seriously, I’m virtually having nightmares even just thinking about it. But I know I’m gonna have to face it at some point or another, so might as well be sooner than never. I reckon I’ll just use a song that I won’t mind listening to over and over again and excruciatingly poring over until I start to hate it forever. : /

Anyway. At this point, I’m practically eating hefty mouthfuls of music theory for breakfast lunch dinner and the occasional midnight snack, and yet my mind is sometimes just a bit too thick to fully comprehend these things as quickly as I’m feeding them to it. And this is barely even scratching the surface, I have so much more to uncover and unpack and it’s scary enough to almost make me wanna poke out my eardrums with an ice pick out of sheer despair. But nah, let’s not do that yet, ’cause I might be getting there though. Soon enough, hopefully. At the very end of it, I think it’s just so crazy how much learning these things drastically changes the way I listen to music. It really helps me pay attention with my ears some more and it opens up a whole new avenue, nay, universe of subtler nuances and finer details and technical know-how that I never would’ve noticed in songs otherwise, had I not known all this information beforehand. I mean, some people may see it as overthinking and overanalysing everything which may ruin the whole listening experience for them quite considerably, but personally I don’t mind it. On the contrary, I see it as a fun little brain exercise which could be an essential tool for improvement, and it doesn’t necessarily have to take away the sentimental and emotional value and the overall enjoyment I attach to the music in itself. And of course, I ultimately get to actually create my own music which for me is just???? excitingly insane??!!?!? Like how do I even??!? I’m sorry I’m going off on a tangent here and dorking out too much about music when this is not really the place for it and I should be getting back to the grind, but I’ve just never been more passionate for anything else in my dull existence than this. It’s been tough so far, but I just need to focus a little more. Okay, a lot more. Tbh I spent way too long writing this post when I should’ve been learning about seventh chords and triad inversions, damn it!!

Alright that’s it for now (or y’know, probably ever),, I’ve had too much coffee and I want more and it’s already four and I still gotta spend more hours torturing my brain cells so brb watching more hilarious metal meme videos oops uhhh I mean five-hour online courses on YouTube bye

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