Tag Archives: abuse

the house of sinners

You’ve fallen captive to what you thought would
Save you, what you thought would clean your slate
You’re in the thick of it now and you have swallowed the hook
What’s done is done, we’ll continue on with or without you
Pain must exist in order for healing to survive
Neither one will ever serve their purpose alone…

~*~

underhanded whispers

rotting foundations to the very core

flesh devoured by the ego

and cold blood sold to murder slaves—

black eye gouged for black eye

in this parasitic wasteland;

of a home built on crossbones

and mangled hearsay

swallowing teeth and anger

boiling harsh on explosive veins

devouring the starving bruised hearts

until all that’s left is arcane vitriol.

so tear my body apart to pathetic shreds,

expose the lies in my backbone

and make me believe fervently in

your hypocritical preambles,

distorted tales of abuse,

vile corrupted, asinine whining,

and the conjured-up apparitions at the

tip of your foul leather tongue…

i’ll pass it on to another fool;

taking them as you have taken me for.

because oh, i just adore

your stories of foolhardy orphans

and the secret adoptions that

you slipped in our coffee like poison

and now you have the nerve to grit

the dirty money between

your running mouth and say that

we don’t fucking deserve any of your trust

as you shamelessly go crawling back to your mistress

and weep behind red war paint.

a personal sadistic leverage,

that pathetic carnage of a temper of yours.

watch yourself before you accuse us

and don’t speak with the smoking gun

permanently lodged between your

pointing fingers like a quickly-burning cigarette,

because you’re gonna set yourself on fire.

and we’ll stand back and watch

the hostile flames convict you of arson—

among all of the other crimes

you’ve shamelessly committed against us,

because it’s the most merciful thing

we could ever do to you.

~*~

This is my goodbye, don’t worry
We saw through your trickery
And we’re coming out alive, see you at the end
What was once your life is now lifeless
What was once your life is now your jail cell.

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bruises

i don’t like myself

any more than you do

but i wondered why you

always stuck around

even when i hurt you blue

i don’t want myself

any less than you did

but i wondered why we’ve

always bothered to care

when it hurt us both red—

why do we hate ourselves?

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anatomical dissection: brain

what hurts more,

remembering to forget

or forgetting to remember?

.

you count all the wins

and all the pyrrhic losses

that take your victories under

.

what hurts more,

the scars on your shoulders

or the scars inside your mind?

.

invisible to the naked eye

but a succumbing force that

makes you lose what you’ll find

.

what hurts more,

staying for the sake of leaving

or living for the sake of staying?

.

lock the pain up in your room

and hope this house burns down

with you still trapped inside, crying

.

what hurts more,

all the words that they said

or the words you never spoke?

.

sticks and stones don’t break bones

but splints and cement puts them back

quietly mending what you always broke

.

what hurts more,

knowing too much of everything

or drowning in your own ignorance?

.

scourge for knowledge, miss for bliss

drain the oceans and fill up the abyss

self-hatred fighting your self-defiance

.

what hurts more,

this cold logical ideology

or the lying sentimental truth?

.

it’s a constant push and pull

of devastating dreams and riled reality

inspiring like the rabbit inspires the wolf

.

what hurts more,

overthinking things again

or not thinking about it at all?

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anatomical dissection: nerves

they love bruises

like crushed plums

and gaping slits

like cranberry juice

and they love to

paint the sky with it

because they think

it’s so bloody beautiful

.

with tortured grins

and metal instruments

and a blindfold to the

eyes of the ignorant

sickening voices coo

“this won’t hurt at all”

while making sure that

the pain lasts an eternity.

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blood red, snow white

Wake up in a dream, frozen fear
All your hands on me
I can’t scream, I can’t scream, I can’t escape
The twisted way you think of me
I feel you in my dreams, and I don’t sleep…

~*~

vivid red, the camellias were

in full bloom today,

lush petals on a pillowed heart

.

i was finding my way

to return from tepid tides

breaking away from venus light.

.

are you hiding your needles?

From which i used to attract the

sovereign flies with, fettered

.

among suspicious hostile twitches

and pulled-off moth wings

decaying with secrets in the kitchen cabinet

.

i do not deserve absolution.

I deserve punishment and jealousy

patched upon each humilified aphorism

.

i am no longer concerned if i have

already bled out, or breathed in,

or both. or perhaps none.

.

but i am fairly certain of the

fingernail scars, tracing louvre patterns and

loveless artwork all over my arms

.

restrained; concealed amid furious

ensconcement and violent bruises

almost as pure and as fresh as

.

vivid red, the camellias were

in full bloom yesterday,

lush petals covering a beaten heart.

~*~

I can’t save your life, though nothing
I bleed for is more tormenting
I’m losing my mind and you just stand there
And stare as my world divides
You belong to me, my snow white queen
There’s nowhere to run, so let’s just get it over
Soon I know you’ll see you’re just like me
Don’t scream anymore my love, ’cause all I want is you…

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Unmade Beds and Bruises

Show me how to kill you
You shed light then she’ll get all broken
Hurry up and get home, my dear
Where the fuck you been?

~*~

You say that you’re sick of sleeping alone

But you blow off every chance for you to stay home

We just adore the way you snap at us and revile

So much so that we might even keep our bruises a while

Your insults are faux pas, oh what a shame it doesn’t contrast

With your loathsome attitude the way your clothing does

So relent with the blatant abuse and mistreat us while you still can

The bed’s the only thing that’s not going to be empty when we’re gone.

~*~

Can’t you take a purpose
With the shape of a better sin?
You’re so fucking contradicting…

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Flag Half-Mast

Litter of trash and debris of corpses

Stench of blowflies, decay, maggots

Counting the casualties, all-in losses

With ideologies of an exorbitant rot

Pay no attention to its sickly colours

Huddle under naught but old prayers

All left unheard by those with power

Desecrating humans into scavengers

Scattered, diseased, a corrupted vein

Severed from life of a wicked system

For economy, for democracy or idiocy

Wolves in suits thirst more for insanity

The nation is mourning in bereft wails

But everyone gregariously hears to fail

And they’re too busy bickering over the sound

Of a dead country being lowered on the ground.

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This means war, sweetheart

“Every single door in this house is on FIRE!!!”

~*~

I’m in agony over how

You just constantly

Abuse your privilege

And stab razors in

My throat; yes, the

Very ones you stole

From me last night,

While I slept wasted.

I hate your words,

Your putrid tongue

That doesn’t speak

The language of

Originality, somehow

Speaking of holes

And roses and

Pretty fucking proses

In imitated neurosis

And you reckon

You’re so damn cool

When you’re the jack

Playing the fool

And if you’re gonna

Be pretentious

As all abrasive hell,

Then fuck it, at least

Learn how to spell.

Why do you make

Me despise you

So much, then pull

My heart away with

The beat of a miracle?

You threw first punch

But you hit yourself

And blacked out

Your own perspectives

You are impossible

But somehow I read

Every toss of your

Androgynous wink

You can’t fool the

Ones who don’t think.

But don’t take it away

Don’t take the injections

That sedate me from

This lifeless corpse

Named reality…..

They’re mine, goddammit

So don’t make me hate

What I fucking love,

Don’t let me live so you

Could kill me slow,

Don’t ruin victory and

Misery and SoCal lifelines

Singing for me now…

You can’t be that harsh.

You can’t be that insane.

Surely, you can’t be that stupid.

You won’t understand me

You were never too clever

But hear me out again

Damn it, won’t you listen?!

I may talk too much

But bitch please,

You breathe too much,

So I guess we’re all

Peachy and even now

Even though you’re

Still stepping on my toes

With a fist worthy sneer

Chanting la-dee-fucking-da;

But that’s fucking fine

I’ll concede your asininity

…Time remaining.

So get your knife out

Of my jugular now,

Cross a busy highway

And fucking eat shit

And excuse me while

I go and throw up,

‘Cause you make me

Feel so fucking s-i-c-k.

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Vena Amoris

Your wedding ring

Is cutting off your circulation

A blue diamond bling

Accentuating infatuated poison

Your fingers as purple

As the fresh bruises on your neck

If love was an accident

You’re headed for a train wreck

A thin band of silver

Stab your heart and wish to die

Red lines on your skin

If that’s your wish darling, I will try

Consummate turns rancid

Domestic turns into souls recluse

Passion becomes acid

A battle of fists and verbal abuse

On a homely warfield

In sickness and in health alike

That vein pumps blood

But when it finally ceases beating

So will your love.

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A Hypocrite’s Hell

Filthy hypocrite;

The rancid words

That you shiv on me

Your blood and flesh,

Are just as sugary

As the sweet nothings

You whisper to

The boys you play

With every night.

Either way, both are

Deceiving blades

That disorient our

Sensibility and make

Us crave for heat.

You’re connivingly

Talented, I’ll give you that.

Filthy hypocrite;

Why don’t you dress

For decency when

You face us, yet

Wear your finest

Wardrobe for your

2 AM excursions?

It’s all about superficial

Identity, and you

Harass us for opinions

When we don’t care

If you paraded across

Town looking like a

10 million dollar diva

Or a homeless rag whore

Clothes can’t hide

Your monstrosity

Anymore, you see?

Filthy hypocrite;

Be less concerned

About the way

You look to others

And start caring

Not about the

Mindless materialism,

Or cash, but just

Actually give a

Damn about us.

Not like I’d expect

It anytime soon

But it would be

Quite nice for once.

Filthy hypocrite;

You’re the poison

That cripples my veins

The shitty anxiety

That never rests

The repressing memory

That suffocates,

Trying to stop the

Strangers that keep

Me fucking alive

And yet you say

You’re only helping,

You only want

The best for me

Well if you want to,

Then let me just

fucking breathe.

Filthy hypocrite;

I’m supposed to

Appreciate the way

You act, and I’m

Supposed to love

You unconditionally,

Yet here I am,

With a loathing and

Death wishes and

Malevolence that

Throbs behind my

Eyes wholeheartedly…

It’s funny, isn’t it?

And yet no one’s laughing.

Not me, not the knives,

Not the hate you branded

On the undersides of

Our petulant brains.

You think I’m smiling,

But it’s called gritting

My teeth and biting

My tongue to shreds,

Haven’t you noticed?

So, filthy hypocrite;

Laugh it off, won’t you?

It’s advantageous to

Your moral decay

And human indecency

An a smile faker than

Eating plastic surgery,

But at least you’re

Content in gloating

Over how parasitically

Charming you are,

Fucking happy over

You and your shining

Pathetic status quo.

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