Tag Archives: apologies

(Don’t) Turn Back To Me

Somewhere along the way, I somehow convinced myself to play

The waiting game like it meant a thing, like I wouldn’t lose anyway

You were the part of my mind still clouded with nostalgia

But lately, it’s now been replaced with a nicotine-grey paranoia

.

Still, you kept me hanging on with all your hooked apologies

And dragged me on for miles despite having nothing but weak excuses

How foolish I truly was, I thought the violent bruises looked pretty

A vicious reminder of the time we spent—a fucked-up memento mori

.

But now I’m getting really tired of having to constantly check in

Obsessing over your absence, getting caught up in that empty nothing

Somehow, that’s the only thing you’re always consistent with

But the rest of this connection is a mess…was it all just friendly bullshit?

.

I understand that you’re busy, and I have no right to be hurt at all

But a sliver of conscience would have been nice, instead of the way you stall

I don’t even know why I’m still trying to paint myself as the bad guy

Spitting poison in my sharpened words in an attempt to catch your eye

.

But maybe it’s better off this way, and maybe I should stop pretending

That I’ll be worth a single damn to you, that I was ever even anything

I just wasted my breath when you never listened, we’ve done this all before

Though I guess this time, I just don’t have a place in your pretty plastic life anymore.

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A Lightless Window

Lately when I’m alone I keep thinking about the past
I’m trying to feel weak in my knees again
I want to stand up straight like when I graduated
I just want to be, just let me be worth your time…

~*~

The blinds remained closed

As the person behind them thawed

Melting into evanescent shadows

They’ve been crying for a while, now

.

The stars may seem decadent

But all they taste of is a violent death

Apologies may seem so early

But they’re always a subsequent regret

.

And heartaches are cured

By the lifelines on your opened palm

Begging for another chance

To be saved from anyone, by anyone

.

But the blinds remained closed

As the person behind them coalesced in glow

Falling away into vice and virtue

And they’ve been screaming for a while, now.

~*~

Too much time spent overthinking
Yeah, I’ve spent too much time
Feeling like I should be sinking
I can’t fix everything around me (And it’s okay)
I can’t make everybody happy (And it’s okay)…

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sugar me bitter, bitter you sweet

It started again, claiming a friend
I couldn’t be, I’ve never been
I’m all alone out in the cold
I’ll never know, your sugarcoat…

~*~

the thousand apologies

i left past your bedroom

but do they really mean

nothing at all, for you?

those tiptoes in soaked

socks and hushed laughs

were they just tolerances

you never want to pursue?

confusions and delusions

of the deluded convolution

but was that all i really set

myself up to run and trip?

for all those wrongs i know

and the mistakes i will grow

will you never be the mouth

that distinctly explains it?

~*~

Look what you did
Suck on your lies ’til your eyes turn red
What did you say
Willing to drown in a tidal wave
Take me away
Let me believe that you’re on your way…

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Breaking Point

In opposing parties

There’s always someone

Who’ll finally break

And believe me, sweetheart

I won’t be the one

Making such a big mistake.

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Puerile Insincerities

Halfhearted apologies

And florid indignities

Are all that ever came out

Of my sugary mouth

And they taste as rancid

As your juvenile pout

I surrender to your illicit

And raise the cotton flag

Unless I wish to wipe it

On the casualty’s blood

I’m a pacifist, honey

I don’t wish for a fight

But your prevalence persists

To rend another bite

Silence is louder than the

Little singsong mockery

You chant and allay back

Hoping to hurt mercilessly

You lick your self-infliction

As you taste the briny salt

Rubbed on open wounds

As if it was my sole fault

For a touch is all it takes

To cause you some harm

One word in charged tones

And you’re rendered alarmed

But for the last time, I’m sorry

I won’t indulge in your games

Even if you attempted sincerity

It will be unctuous all the same.

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