Tag Archives: blank

fill in the blanks.

“And it’s four in the morning
I’m just trying to fix myself
What the hell did I do?”

~*~

blankness.

a constant void

washed-out

into a bleached white

still dirty, yet everything

has been scrubbed out

fastidiously, like

the writings on a blackboard

and the chalk dust

lingers in your fingertips,

the kind that you can’t blow away

and you’re stuck with

that unpleasant texture on your

hands for the rest of the day.

you’re zeroed-out;

multiplied, divided, and subtracted

until even the calculator

doesn’t know how to answer

except for a shameful

syntax error…

you don’t know where you

went wrong in your calculations.

now you’re staring dully

at the beige ceiling

listening to the rhythms

of a nameless music attempt vainly to

make your heart bleed, but it’s

all fucking static to you,

just another distraction to

keep you grounded

as gravity drags

you down in your grave

without even so much as a

respectful funeral or a dated tombstone.

your thoughts are as

senseless as every nerve in

your once-hurting flesh

your body got used to the pain,

one might dare guess

but the truth is you can’t feel it anymore

because it’s no longer your own—

to control, to use, to move around in to

your free will and accord

and you’re just pretending to perform,

waiting for the fateful day that the

puppeteer snaps your marionette strings, and

you drop lifelessly on the

shabbily-decorated stage of your existence.

you don’t even know where these

nonsensical thoughts are originating from;

all you know is the constant empty

sensation, a flatlined perception,

draining every bone in your borrowed body

physically, emotionally, and mentally

until you’re nothing more than

an amorphous bag of viscera

dripping numbly on that plastic chair

still gawping insensibly at the

rorschach beige ceiling, all the way to pure

b l a n k n e s s———

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Seasons in Retrograde

Come at me with everything you’ve got
Burst into flames, s
cream in the dark
I’m gonna light up this place
And die in beautiful stars tonight…

~*~

They said it wouldn’t be easy

And being homesick is better than being alone

As the moon burst into flames

I ended up igniting under my coalescing bones

.

Throw me behind the darkness

And I’ll learn to breathe without the light

As the blade swings closer to me

Love, I’ll hold it back for you, and I’ll fight

.

I’m dizzy from wreaking all this havoc

Sober as the ashes melted in my numbing lips

Counting seconds until these stars drop

I’ll catch them like a nightmare, take and keep

.

Because everything looks even more beautiful

When I’m submerged a thousand feet deep in waters

And the undersea glow is a vicious accentuation

To those pale azure eyes that speak of blank aspiration

.

For they won’t come to take you back

And being homesick is better than being alone

As the midnight sun froze into winter

I ended up embracing the perennial cold for my own.

~*~

(What do you do when you’re out of time?)
(Where do you go when they’re right outside?)
(And how do you scream when there’s no one left around?)
I’m gonna light up this place (No one left around?)
And I will be the only light, I’ll be the only light.

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lassus

a constant tired

slipping beneath the cracks

of my coeval bones

tasting my very energy

freezing my vigour

coalescing with my vitality

and sucking it all out

until i’m drained

and hollow.

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dreamless

i stopped dreaming

such a long time ago

blankness in black

was all i ever saw

i stopped dreaming

when i became aware

if i’m lucky this time

i might have a nightmare.

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Opioid Daydreams and Narcotic Nightmares

Maybe I could swim into your thoughts like your drugs do
Paralyze your body, sick and tired of waking up too
Burning eyes and cigarettes, I’m falling through the couch like
A suicide mission tonight, my god, here comes the downside…

~*~

The fumes I breathed in

Are as delicate as my polluted lungs

As frail as my state of mind

.

I look for a way into the dark

And step on cigarette ashes

Unaware of the inferno I might find

.

Crushing acetylene with two fingers

And heating the water a hundred degrees

To boil away this senseless rut

.

Inhaling, exhaling, once…twice…thrice…

And one more drag for the long run

Calm until the first punch hits my guts

.

My throbbing heart goes a’creeping

Into my trembling hands comes a’knocking

Painting butterfly psychedelia

.

I’m waiting at the foot of my deathbed

Staring at my lethargic lucid corpse

Tasting a million shades of phantasmic deliria

.

Anesthesised until I no longer feel myself

I no longer feel my broken bones

I no longer feel the pain like the ashes

.

Blowflies turned to pretty birds

Concrete floor turned to rainbows and raindrops

Until paradise wears off and slowly passes

.

But despite the exclamation points

Scribbled all over the blank walls, I won’t

No no no no no, I won’t ever ever panic

.

The blood and oxygen flow

Falling and reversing until my system

Is senescent retrograde and manic

.

And I’m hanging upside-down

On a cross, crucified by my lighter

Flesh pinned with syringes

.

Scourged and castigated

By angels and roman hallucinations

For my sins and perpetual binges

.

But I won’t die tonight, no I won’t

I won’t die yet…die yet, I think

And I’ll exalt those whorls of smoke

.

Submerged in a tempestuous sea of euphoria

Until I sink deeper and deeper into the hazy currents

And I begin to choke.

~*~

Trigger my nightmare once again!
And it’s fucking loaded in hand!
And we’ll let the fire rage
The smoke and the drowning flames
My bedroom computer light is the only
Menace to my new faux wooden blinds…

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Credence Revival

I gots a lot to learn
But I learn a lot, I’m not concerned
You’ve got a lot of burns
From all this pessimism you said
Miscommunication…

~*~

Regrets adamant, remorseful shame sternly pressing at the back of my throat

If I’ve held on to my beliefs tighter, would that make it harder for faith to let go?

I’m attempting to beat down the monstrous odds with a bantam plastic sword

And disregarding the tongues they have cut away so that I can get the last word

.

I took their plans, drawn and carefully-laid out, and I spilled my blood all over

Until my moral compass and the road to vices are practically indistinguishable

This is a cosmic sitcom, not blatant sanctity that can be written on plain paper

I’m fucked for simply thinking I have a motivation that is never extinguishable

.

Hope for the best and prepare for the worst, ask for blessings but receive a curse

Desperate for a reckoning, delirious over second chances, drinking against thirst

In the atrocity of life’s reliquary, I’m only wishing to find any smidgen of cohesion

But all the platitudes of confidence and trust were nothing but blank superstitions.

~*~

Fake apologies (Fake apologies)
Can I just call it quits, I can’t take all of this
Fighting all of me (Fighting all of me)
I want a second chance, but I’m so broken…

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blank slate

We went down to the shore on a day that was warm
With the end of my fist, I thanked you for this
Over watch of fields and feelings I’ve met
I could pray to the day, I haven’t felt them yet…

~*~

detached emptiness

lone as the cells in my blood

breathing in frigid air

exhaling ink and neurons

but is it merely a deceitful calm?

a last resort i’ve set myself

to fall into and regress upon

if so, it must be quite nice

to feel this divine zero

a voided vacancy all the time

sometimes, loneliness is

mandatory, a chance set up

against my parallel lines

but never mistake that for

fragility, i merely need repose

appeasing such desolation

is to my own volition.

~*~

The waves will watch you go
‘Til you’re gone
And you come home no more…

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Blank Dream

I’ll float on endlessly
Senses alluding me
This long horizon to this open sea…

~*~

a gabardine slate

in falling reveries

jilted aquamarine

of sweet rosemary

and hues of pastel

flourishing in blots

in field of lavender

tying sailor’s knots

lost aurora borealis

an occasion of hues

vivid shades collide

fed up with the blues

a grey sky lights up in stars

and in starkest chromaticity

but somehow a blank dream

is all my hazy eyes can perceive.

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bullet hole

i was

triggered

but my mind

drew a blank—

which was a shame

since i wanted

to feel the jolt

and pain of

its recoil.

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