Tag Archives: blood

re-drown

we have wound back

to where we all started

zero degrees farenheit

the rain slashes torrents

of the heartbeats that slow

and the blood that boils

into the misdemeanour, as

unforgivable as my vice

.

we have drawn back

to where it all started

a hundred degrees celsius

the circles tracing our steps

of the nerves screaming agony

from the blood that thins into

an unescapable ocean wave

and if there was any way out

let me learn how to swim.

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Hymn for the Faithless

Our Father, who art in Heaven

Hallowed be thy fame, kingdom

Of temptation we lust for again

Deliver us for your evils, amen

A wickedness in these blue eyes

The sword I carry impaling skin

What must mortal consequences

I shall atone for my begotten sin

Blood on my tears, fallen I wept

These are the songs I am to kept

Pains I pray, damned for my lies

God, am I truly lost in thine eyes?

Blasphemy and sacrilegious vow

Of pious sinners and dead saints

Mercy begat our veneration now

No longer should serpents repent

Dust are we all for a proclamation

Hate leads to lust, our destination

One last surrender, final farewell

In before darkness embraces Hell

My banished halo is extinguished

Drowned by the ashes of the fires

And when my wings are scattered

Beckon not the fine requiem choir.

Hail Mary full of desecrated virginity

For wars I indoctrinated, forgive me

Hearts for hearts, a stigma for stigma

Holy be thy bastard son, a miracle enigma…

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stains

inkstains

of the words

that never

made sense

but i write it

down anyway

.

tearstains

from the music

i never believed

in, but felt with

every heartstring

that snapped

.

bloodstains

from the razors

i grasped with

conviction, but

left smudges of

trembling fingers

.

stains

from different stories;

chapters of the tales i’ll

never confess out loud

dark taint in pages pure

damaged paper that has

been through a lot, from

a damaged person that has

been through a lot more.

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Schreiende Sterne

Tears from agony

And tastes like burning skin

There’s a solemnity

Indulged in your screaming

A cold childish sorry

Of another blood scintillating

A summer catastrophe

Of failed dusty stars colliding.

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metal & skin (vi.)

the initial sting

of breaking nerves

and tearing flesh

makes you gasp

involuntarily…

but after that, the

pain isn’t so bad

anymore, and the

damage done is

satisfying to see.

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washing the blood off

i’m aware

my hands

are tainted

with blood,

but i’m afraid

that yours is

not on mine.

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Doses of Quintessence: Verseuchen

~*~

WELTSCHMERZ

There’s a constricting tug-of-war within my heart

Arteries painfully pulling veins against my blood

Desperate to gain the upper hand for my emotions

But both end up losing, falling, and covered in mud.

~*~

SCHADENFREUDE

That’s a goddamn stripclub travesty

Dear, not my suicide bedroom scene

So don’t break in a fucked soliloquy

That’ll break this automatic machine.

~*~

SEHNSUCHT

Nothing but demarcation on magnanimous affairs

The indisposition scurrilous of a conniption share

If I commiserate my pretense for synaptic humans

Will they hold my head under to inject tryptophan?

~*~

MUTTERSEELENALLEIN

I repudiated my own self-blames

I’ll shut the closet, elucidate this game

If I emancipate my bastard whim

Shall it be considered a cavalcade sin?

~*~

ANSTÜRMEN

Calamity, that’s my designated appellation’s lacklustre

I’m a raging typhoon tantrum, an unmitigated disaster

I wreck lives, dishevel memories, or command discord

So stay away from me, I can ruin you with mere words.

~*~

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letters to s.d.: fragment #1 {lifeline}

To: S.D., West Coast
Southern California
Return address: V.M.J.T.
Tijuana, Mexico

dear s.d.,

i don’t know how to begin,

but I know where it all starts.

it starts with me carving

gold stars on my wrists

and leaving tissues stained

with a beautiful shade of red

sopping over the metal kitchen sink,

glinting a hypnotic silver like

the blade in my trembling hands

…and that’s where it all was

simply supposed to have ended.

but apparently i’m still alive

and instead of wasting my blood

i’ll use the rusty ink to write

to you instead. so, how are you?

i miss the thought of losing you

and your silly uttered promises.

you said you’ll be the catalyst

to my raging cancer, but I’m still

crippled and weak from the fear.

you also told me you’d come to

separate my throat from my own

cold dead hands, but you’re still

missing and I’m still meaningless.

your lies are inebriating, darling.

you keep running circles in my

one-track mind 24/7, 365 days,

but I don’t think of you enough

or otherwise I wouldn’t have

proceeded with painting my

paper skin with rubious liquid

before shredding it to pieces

like any other filthy, disgusting

untoward abstract art deserves.

as my guts twist and untwist like

the grey earphone cords jammed

in my ears, blasting this fucking

world away with fake allegories

of a boulder hard lullaby melody,

and your voice screams the song

that i fell hard for. i’m fully aware

that you were singing it for bella,

not for me, and it’s so bittersweet

yet still I could not help myself

and a blossomed ironic quivering

smile collides against the pain—

fugacious, but for a moment

everything seemed quite normal

(but the moment of normalcy

was ruined by the knife biting

down distractedly on my flesh).

oh, your remedy and memory is

killing me slowly, worse than the

disease. we liked to run our blood

thin, but you divorced this addiction

and turned to singing, rivers calming

your tantrum storms, while I kept

relapsing to the blades that love to

feel, screaming in the showerhead

as scalding water pours and prepares

my temperature for inevitable hell.

i simply cannot help it, darling.

in this purgatory existence, there

are only momentary limbos of a

cumulonimbus paradise, before the

mocking angels snatch it away from

me, out of my reach; and make it rain

glass shards and wasteland debris

to maim my intravenous drugged veins

and they didn’t take you from me;

no, they goddamn dragged you halfway

around the fucking universe to keep

your gospel lips unattainable forever.

this ritual is only my blood sacrifice

to the merciless gods. understand that

this is only my way of returning you back

to the embrace of my lacerated arms that

You have yet to wrap yourself around in.

i’m so sorry this had to be the last resort.

i just want your company to burn me again.

i know that you won’t condone this blasphemy…

but you’re my heaven s.d., so don’t give me hell.

.

don’t let [REDACTED] go, don’t fucking throw [REDACTED] away.

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metal & skin (iii.)

someone

please

give me a

blood donation

so i could

cut myself

and bleed out

all over again.

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Blood Feud

There’s a grudge the size of a headache

Palpitating tangibly in my drying mouth

A necklace of bullets and funeral wakes

That’s what the tribulations is all about

.

And it festered in a sickening abomination

Of pustules and pus in fluid amalgamation

No mercy strain when it reaches your brain

A monster contrite to lick away sanity pains

.

There’s a grudge the size of a headache

And my throat has been badly victimised

There’s no knowing what it’ll actually take

But my burning blood is always traumatised.

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