Tag Archives: breathe

tipsy musical notes

So I take the long road to think and wonder
Why I can’t sleep with all this sunlight
If there’s still evidence of us
Why can’t that be enough?

~*~

five a.m. serenades

with a smile that’s built

on the colour of dawn

and a soul that’s stabbed

with voodoo needles

crying blood in the distance

screaming out the name

that it shall nevermore have

annihilating love begging

please, please, please

darling bring me back all

my quagmire stars and

never leave me stranded at

the back of your head

oh darling, please stay away

and fucking come closer

.

five a.m. serenades torturing

spinning the rotary arteries

nonreciprocal delusions

hurting me so fucking much

the cyanide in my tongue

begging please, please, p l e a s e

drown me in the madness

murder the blue moon again

to make me lust for more of dusk

and darling, oh please, please

please don’t depart this brainsick heart

without a final limerent requiem

ending with our mishap beginnings

and shove sunlight in my lungs

to keep me barely breathing

so i could feel your pain some more.

~*~

I’m guiding your chin to my lips
Using only my fingertips
All we have are parking lots and nowhere to go
If you love me, then show me more…

Advertisements

Leave a comment

Filed under Poetry

Feel My Bones Ignite

~*~

The Night Gets Wasted

Banned bus seat backseat sovereign serenade

Diligent difference between a limerence renegade

Demons dancing, sober stars separating names

I’m screaming underwater as you burst into flames.

~*~

Break a Leg Tonight

I’m operating on the dead doctor with understudy nurses

He’s asking for some saline sedation and anaesthetising curses

Sewn into his own gurney, an advanced state of paranoia

I’ll lie about his terminal condition before I conduct euthanasia.

~*~

The Sound of Answering Machines

Settling for the taste of bitter window glass and sweeter tonic lips

Sp hold me down with your merest memory, and take another sip

Celebrate the way the scars constellate in your homemade fantasy

Do you think you’re the only animal who can’t breathe without me?

~*~

Pretend to Close Your Eyes

Fade me quietly into what seems to be a broken dead end reverie

Liquid lights leaking into blackened mechanisms, a faltering gallantry

I’ll run away and chase your nightmares, wrap you in a labyrinth

Exit signs crying as hell reads to heaven, you fall asleep in your plinth.

~*~

The Taste of Being on Fire

Our symphony written in blood and lipsticks, for a saving grace sonata

Tiring tirades traded, turn away and face the music, persona non grata

Two faces burning into colours, on a sunrise long-dead on the highway

Don’t make me vain for viscid vials of aether to dispel innocent display.

~*~

Leave a comment

Filed under Poetry

stress

breathe easy;

the worst

has passed

just stick it out

maybe this

time you’ll last.

Leave a comment

Filed under Poetry

Chasing Zebras, Circling the Drain

When I sew you up, don’t let me—stop bleeding!
Tiny stitches that you placed into my skin
Won’t let me go (oh no, oh no!)
And they’re ruining the mood
So I’ll toast every beat of my heart like a miracle…

~*~

I’m just a madman in a gurney

You’re just a liar with a rope

These palpitations don’t concern me

If you cry now, you won’t cope

.

And the nurses are dancing wrong

For the lesions that marked your skin

And the doctors are singing along

Burning like injections and liquid sin

.

Intubate me, I can’t breathe alone

The lozenge you prescribed lodged in my throat

These syndromes are but mere anomalies

But I’m a curious mystery, solve my cataplexy

.

Diagnose me again and over again

Abscesses in my heart, lymphoma in my brain

Give me some lorazepam or another placebo

Is there a hospital gown I can borrow?

.

A convulsion and a single stroke

Say the words and I’ll say that I’m sick

And the experimental apparatus didn’t work

As the vaccines failed the antibiotics

.

Immunocompromise me, make me weak

In a pathological war of an epidemic

I’m in remission, you gave pulmonary edema

I can’t speak now, I’m down with aphasia

.

Another dose of Vicodin to cover

The pain feeling like electric shocks

Your chest heaves under the defibrillator

Your oxygen tank ticks like the clock

.

Count the beats on the monitor

I won’t close my eyes if you listen slow

My blood is clotting from pressure

But don’t worry dear, you won’t see me go

.

I’ll perfuse the circuit, keep you alive

I’ll call a crash cart to make sure you died

Teach you how to use a morphine drip

And sedate you from Occam razor’s sharper slip

.

Accidents happen, they occur the worst

Trust me, this is just a blessed curse

Your heart is removed, your skin feels cold

Just don’t end up crying in the morgue

.

Don’t seize now, don’t crash in a hurry

Hold on, I’m trying to save the date

You went into tachycardia at the sight of me

Your scheduled surgery is running late

.

So call off the operation, call off the operation

If your valium teeth are still smiling

Call off the operation, the operation again

If the IV drips blood, we win, we win, and I win

.

‘Cause I’m just a patient dying in sepsis and crazy

You’re just another white-coat liar with a stethoscope

And all the tools and scalpels are already rusted over

But doctor, is it still too much to ask for some hope?

~*~

And I don’t think you’ll ever want to love me
You’d better listen to your doctor
Doctors lie (lie!), lie (lie!), lie
If the dollar is right, oh, my sweet little girl
Hold your mouth and you’ll be all right!

Leave a comment

Filed under Poetry

a laugh to the tune of fuck you

the respect

that i do have

for you is too much

oh, i admire every

word, every nerve,

every faint catch

i’m sorry that it had

to be this way

and i had to give in

to the cruelty

the bastards played

it makes me sick

on how they all just

simply treat you as a joke

when you are all

that i’m holding on to

and breathing in for hope.

Leave a comment

Filed under Poetry

exhale

take my breath

i will not pause

as my cold lungs

wilt and choke

take my breath

you always do

but i don’t mind

if it means you

will breathe too.

Leave a comment

Filed under Poetry

deep cut

I’m relapsing down again

There’s desperation everywhere

And it’s fucking contagious

It’s just another one of those days

Where I’m sinking in misery

And suffocating in my own self-pity

For no rational reason at all

That it’s almost pathetic

It is fucking pathetic.

I’m feeling the need badly

To colour my world with carmine

And murder my twisted veins

But I can’t, I shouldn’t—

I thought I called a ceasefire

But it’s burning in my heart

Tearing apart my mind with screams

And making my senses recede

Into senselessness that ironically

I can cancel out with one

Silver glint and a single slash

But I won’t, I musn’t—

And yet I really fucking should.

The crave is almost unbearable

I can’t resist falling in from the sin

Please pray, please understand

I need the pain to breathe

My lungs refuse to provide oxygen

I need this pain to live

I really don’t want to…

But I have to.

Please don’t let me touch the blade

Please don’t let my skin touch the blade

Please don’t let me…

D o n ‘ t . . .

I’m sorry.

Leave a comment

Filed under Poetry

panic attack

i’m lost

my head hurts thorough

i’m lost

i’m dizzying into a vertigo

i’m lost

my heart’s palpitating

i’m lost

my anxiety’s neverending

i’m lost

my vision is blurred, unfocused

i’m lost

my mind’s plagued with locusts

i’m lost

i say i’m okay, but no one’s asking

i’m lost

i assure myself, i stopped caring

i’m lost

get me out of this useless crowd

i’m lost

thoughts i can’t complain aloud

i’m lost

no one notices, they’re engrossed mindlessly

i’m lost

if i collapse now, they’ll step over my body

i’m lost

i can’t breathe. i can’t breathe. i can’t breathe.

i’m lost

fucking help me, anyone, anything…please…

are you lost?

what, me? no no, i’m fine. i’m fine. let’s go.

Leave a comment

Filed under Poetry

Allegories in the Curious Case of the Breathless Gentleman

I’ve never so adored you, I’m twisting allegories now
I want to complicate you, don’t let me do this to myself
I’m chasing rollercoasters, I’ve got to have you now
Endless romantic stories, you never could control me…

~*~

Parking lots crumbling against an apartment of beige

In a wasteland of boys and girls, this will be my stage

I’d pull you a mouldy leather chair, or do that yourself

Screaming for hotels to keep the change wouldn’t help

.

There’s no control to be gestured in graceless romance

I’ll tip my hat at your beauty, give the bellboy a chance

There’s a luxurious room that’s reserved for two bodies

Over silken blankets ma cherie, let’s amuse the vagaries

.

Adrenaline shot like cocaine hearts of a powdered nose

Abandonment issues left me but it never felt more close

It’s nothing but anger dripped in crystalline-frosty blood

What makes you think you can seduce the angels of God?

.

The tightrope you used as floss, it snapped in your fangs

And I’m the funambulist that falls away as you have sang

Hiding all the abraded blisters from holding butane knives

For you I’ll devour inedible love, I’ll find the sharpest lives

.

Falling asleep on saline soldiers and flying sordid strangers

Your neck is getting bruised but you love imminent danger

If we wake up at all, I will look for a way to cancel your luck

But if the bullets still pierce you, I’ll yell out harsh, oh fuck

.

I was never quite crass, but this disease makes me so reckless

You’re stepping on my tailcoat, don’t worry about it, princess

I always adored your stories weaved on your lace web gown

The way your blonde hair billows back, shatters your crown

.

Here we are now, crashing and colliding in orbits saturnine

I’m burning cold, and you’re deathly hot, but we will be fine

I’m such a sucker for the rain and each of its mercurial pains

Hell and if I pull the trigger, now, what will be there to gain?

.

So I’ll dance in my boundaries and I’ll stay on the thin lines

If my arms don’t cry again, then I’ll take that as a good sign

For a sunset I chased and the chimera monsters not allowed

As the sky’s pulling me back for the nightmares I said aloud

.

Help me say goodbye, it’s the curdled poison in my delegation

Like contempt on champagne glasses and dwindling devotion

But don’t miss me too soon, have no fear, shed no wasted tears

I was never too charming, but in my wake I’ll be regally austere

.

So inhale infinity deeply and suffocate sanctity on an obscene eternity

Shame you have no shame, my beheaded queen don’t lose equanimity

I won’t be here in a year anyway, so you and I have got the most to live

I’ll provide you half of my oxygen, love, so you won’t be able to breathe.

~*~

Well I really never thought that you’d come tonight
While the crown hangs heavy on either side
Give me one last kiss while we’re far too young to die
(Far too young to die) Far too young to die…

Leave a comment

Filed under Poetry

Breathe

I sustain

All the pain

Then let go

And I bleed

I nourish

And flourish

Start to grow

And I breathe.

Leave a comment

Filed under Poetry