Tag Archives: cancer

Simple Explanation

Driven by passion, outward away from family and friends
But what they can’t see is that everyday I’m drowning in a sea
Of faces that I miss so desperately with each flashing countenance—
And the weight of their absence has brought me more than once to tears
I wake from sleep violently only to witness those lives and faces
Disappear slowly behind me…

~*~

I.) Mismatched Cultures And Dead Parents

He’s got a bullet where his brain should be

And broken toys where a heart should beat

The stripes on his sweater had begun to fade

The nostalgic photographs lied except for one

So he’s turned to smoke to keep himself awake

And he’s turned to secrets to keep himself alive

But it wasn’t enough to save him from phantoms

Now he’s carried on the wrong side of the casket

No one saw it coming; no one can figure him out

Whispers of self-sacrifice, but quiet murder hung

Of the boy who played with fire but didn’t put it out

It was a mystery—it didn’t make sense to anyone but him.

~*~

II.) False Cancer And A Secret Trip To Rio

A dying man seconds away from his final breath

And his wife by the bedside that couldn’t take any

Collapsed on the floor, the debilitated cried for help

Of what seemed to be a miracle, a feigned recovery

They would die for the other, just another ancient lie

There’s no love without guilt and no guilt without love

The operating table was prepped for a wrongful death

To save the irreparable, it’s too late for her, but not him

The grief was mistaken and the medicine was not taking

All because of a surreptitious slip to a beach without sun

He lived to tell the tale of how she flatlined before his eyes

Under premises of a truth confessed too late, and what it had done.

~*~

We savored the taste of our sweet youth
And now, with calloused hands, gather the remaining fruit
To go any farther, we must endure further pains
Skinned, mashed, and finally strained
Fermenting in the time spent away
Only to return with a fine vintage
To cheers to the health of those who stayed.

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Filed under Fandom Poetry, Poetry

Cheap Cancer For Exclusive Humanity

Oh, give me a break you deluded, ill-informed, self-serving prick
If you really believe in the words that you preach
Get off your screens, and onto the streets
There will be no peaceful revolution! No war without blood!
You can say I’m just a fool, that stands for nothing!

~*~

It’s a mindless transaction

For the ones in creation

They think you’ll warm the cold

But everyone wants to change the world

It’s questionable

Everyone’s too cynical

And too miserable

And too in love with the concept

To change for respect

But don’t you love the drama?

The little girls filled with paranoia?

The boys injecting heroin

A systematic failure of clever machines

No one’s wide awake

We’re all sleepwalking on a tightrope

With bloodshot eyes shut

Pretending to believe in hope

But while we’ll all here

Where nothing’s transparent or clear

Let’s swallow reality’s bullshit

And make the most out of it

The sweet melodrama

The crippling asthenia

The jerks in your bed

All the cunts you wish dead

Let them sing

Let them sing

Let them sing…

You couldn’t do a goddamn thing!

.

We’re all too fucked to care

Busy with what to wear

If their makeup is on straight

Or if the bastards are staying up late

Corrupted bodies

Lying in wasteland sceneries

As drunk as blowflies

As sober as their endless lies

And the sun won’t stay

To witness their rapid decay

Hallelujah, baby

You won’t live to see another day!

It’s an arrogant escape

We’re selfishly murdering for our sake

But we succumb and give in

Just to drown in our sins

To the ways of the crooked

The drink of the dead

Surrender the blood on your hands

No one will understand

The happiness

That don’t exist

We’re all a mess

We’re fucking sick

We’re falling in sin

We’re falling in sin

We’re falling in sin…

You couldn’t do a goddamn thing!

.

So go the fuck to hell

I’ll be there soon in fifteen

Angels don’t live to tell the tale

Of the genocide scene

Humanity be damned to heaven

We all cheat and say it’s even

Nothing is fucking fair

Burn in the fires of disrepair

Shadows come to whisper

Your demise in a bruise and blister

I’m waiting for the finale

The asylum’s about to go crazy

It’s almost blandly pathetic

This modern-age love is synthetic

But this disease and chaotic

Sounds grotesquely symphonic

A perfectly flawed design

To steal what can never be mine

And if this is what eternity is

Then paradise must reek of shit and piss!

The cheap mentality

Of human rationality

We’re all so sedentary

You ain’t so special, honey

The walls are caving in

The walls are caving in

This world is caving in…

But fucking shut up and give in

Bitch, you couldn’t do a goddamn thing!

(Shit.)

~*~

United, we’ll fail, divided, we’ll fall, united, we’ll fail
We’re fucked, but you’re making it worse!
Middle fingers up, if you don’t give a fuck!
I’m sick to death of swallowing every single thing I’m fed
Middle fingers up, if you don’t give a fuck!
You think you’re changing anything?
Question everything!

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v-tach

Chase away

The darkness

That’s breathing

In me with life

Treat medication

From the veins

I gouged with

A scalpel knife

Eat my cancer

When it festers

Within my mind

That won’t restart

Operate me and

Amputate this

Failure of a system

You call a heart.

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M O N S T E R × r e t s n o m

Turn away
If you could get me a drink of water
‘Cause my lips are chapped and faded
Call my Aunt Marie
Help her gather all my things
And bury me in all my favourite colours…

~*~

V.) MEDICINE × enicidem

Lying in limpid stasis, comatosed on a cold hospital gurney

As the sterile figures are wheeling me in, onto my last journey

Doctors with white angel wings, armed with swords of scalpel

Slashing away at the indomitable monster my body hid so well

.

Blast liquid radiation, intakes of chemo, concentrated vials

Dialysis emptying my veins, and attempting useless trials

A diagnosed creature transforming, stage 4 metastasised

As everyone glances at me sadly with glossy pitying eyes

.

So take away all the coloured calendars and the clocks that mockingly tick

Counting the seconds, hours, moments, all the years that I can never keep

Turn off the machines, disconnect my wires, I won’t be needing any longer

I’m ready to accept my ultimate fate, for I know now that I will be stronger

.

X.) MEMORY × yromem

Reminiscing our faded memoirs, on a dessicating ancient diary

Writ in intervals of ink, blood, love, our accrued stolen memories

Spending afternoons in the butterfly garden, tales of you and me

Living out with childish mirth, our own secret Mary Lennox fantasy

.

Writing out last wills and trembling letters of false painful assurance

To uncle John and Aunt Mary, to all my relatives first and secondary

I’ll miss you, loved ones, but you’ll forget me once you collect insurance

Keep my soul in your thoughts as you enjoy my unexperienced itinerary

.

Pack away all my things, store my belongings in a strong mulberry box

Those framed photos of mine on the mantelpiece, carefree and relaxed

Their quaint presents, trinkets, clover leaves, constellations for good luck

Keep them now carefully, for I won’t be needing any of them all that much

.

L.) MOURN × nruom

Make my image come to life again, make me beautiful, Mr. Mortician

Powder my gaunt, pallid complexion, make it a flourishing pink and fair

Dress me up in your finest silk and cotton habiliments, Mr. Mortician

And try to save what little you can from my raining withered haybale hair

.

Carry away my coffin into a cathedral solemnly, be bereft and lament me

Let the choir boys sing a melancholy requiem for the girl I’ll never marry

Rain down the roses, parting crowds like Moses, drowning on a red sea

Etch an epitaph on my tombstone, a final word of William Blake’s literary

.

Proclaim all the good things I’ve done right with my scanty epoch life

In my sepulchre, chisel my marble memorial with a dulled rusty knife

Hate me and berate me as you cremate me, a final prayer for your loss

A light drizzle of ashfall, leave me now in peace, to be buried, to repose

.

C.) MORTALITY × ytilatrom

Remember me, remember my name

Don’t you forget our whimsical days

Perhaps I’ll find a better home

In a field of crumbling gravestones

So goodnight for now, my dear

Don’t you cry such wasted tears

Maybe someday I’ll be back here

Smiling, none the worse for wear

.

Remember me, remember my pain

Don’t you forget me, lest I fade away

Perhaps there’s a blissful heaven

When the pendulum strikes eleven

So goodnight for now, my dear

This is goodbye for now, I fear

‘Cause this is when I disappear

Promise me someday you’ll meet me there.

~*~

My sisters and my brothers, still I will not kiss you
‘Cause the hardest part of this is leaving you…

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