Tag Archives: companion

a mindless monologue

The blood, the blood, the blood of the lamb
Is worth two lions, but here I am
And I slept in last night’s clothes and tomorrow’s dreams
But they’re not quite what they seem…

~*~

i need some therapy

and a hundred seconds alone

i need room to breathe

and support from the bleed

i need to stay silent

and talk my problems out

find another friend to bother

and do nothing but joke around

i need to admit something’s wrong

that i can’t do this by myself

i need to keep myself going

and be just a little more strong

i need bitter medication

i don’t know why i stopped

guess i don’t want to be an addict

my brain feels fogged and rough

i need to hurt myself less

throw away my blades and insecurities

i don’t want to keep companions

and end up in a fit of jealousy

i need to absolve all my mistakes

to stop hurting the people around me

always on the brink of an apology

i need to stop being—and feeling—sorry

i need to channel my thoughts safer

but i just don’t have the skill or talent

i can’t make anyone any promises

and my future is scary and hellbent

i need to keep on dreaming

but not too much to drown in the tides

i need to stop worrying neurotically

about what’s what and the right of rights

i need to be me and more than this

i want to figure myself out before it’s too late

to be assured of myself, the things i can do

to provide myself with no more of hate

i know i can never undo the long-term damage

caused by my self-destructive ways

but i know that i could always be better

than what i think i deserve—i need to change.

~*~

I can move mountains
I can work a miracle, work a miracle
I’ll keep you like an oath
“May nothing but death do us part…”

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Friend & Foe

If you could keep the right commitment
(Nothing gets in, in the way)
And you put all your hope within it
(It’s what you like, what it is)
I saw dysfunction in your rhythm
Life just slips away
Passed right through the first incision
Everything we are…

~*~

We have come and gone our own separate ways

And either one has stopped giving relentless chase

‘Cause I’m stuck in myself and I want it to last

And you’re borne to the future, discarding your past

.

I always thought that we shared the same blood

And nothing can change the contrasting connection we had

But I snipped on the veins and you bled them out dry

There was a mutual assent that it was best to let things die

.

You proclaim we’re such different people, you and me

I’ve constantly denied the facts presented somehow

I thought it was disturbing, the blurring similarities we had

But there’s a clear line—a parallel distinction in good and bad

.

You grew on such viridian memories and attempted to thrive

While I’m fine barely breathing just to keep myself alive

We shared these identical interests, but never the same passions

And have diverted circumstances in dealing with emotions

.

I admit, it’s rather strange for me to see things changing

People weren’t who they were, they don’t like the same things

I’m uncomfortable to alter what I have always known

But I know that in this life, the only thing I can do is go on

.

I know we’re not the same after all, and no one is to blame

I still look after this companionship, and I still respect your name

For certain, we’re both fucked-up, though still trying to change

We may have gone our separate ways, but it won’t sever the bond we made.

~*~

I’ll wait till you’ve forgotten
(I’ve seen the way you are)
If you get past the worst of that you know
(Look what good that did)
Fall along, fall along, innocent, innocent
Infractions that we know (Infractions that we know)
Quietly, quietly, everyone, everyone
Just as the summer ends…

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Blind Ears To See, Deaf Eyes To Hear, Mute Mouth To Speak

True friends lie underneath
These witty words I don’t believe
I can’t believe a damn thing they say anymore
Lie! Liar, you’ll pay for your sins
Now! Liar, I know all the places you’ve been
Forgiveness—this taste all but poisons my mouth…

~*~

We all have arbitrary problems

Whether it’s petty or magnanimous

The cryptic remains we wish to seal up

And bury inside a metal sarcophagus

But it could be easily exhumed

Or never even entombed, after all

And inevitably, sooner or later

I shall play the role of the coroner

When I’m contorted in a painful position

It gets to me, red sprites of confusion

To inject dopamine, a blush of adrenaline

But instead I’m simply a machine

Automatic in my messages underhand

Pretending that I could understand

What’s easy is difficult, I go into overdrive

The train of thought which never arrives

I wish I could spill out waves of clarity

Instead of letting the cobwebs gather

In my drying, decomposing mouth

Conflicted about platitudes I muttered

If only I could then convince myself

To cease listening to blaring smoke alarms

Remove the arrow lodged in my trachea

And ask why, it will do me no harm

But instead I end up feeling incompetent

In total oblivion from such a situation

I’m not a companion, but I’m merely a bench

A rusted statue, a broken monkey wrench

Seminal symptoms that cripple and debilitate

Responses taken from a mind that is surrogate

I wish I could confront, interfere, absolve dysthymia

But my tongue is affected by parasaethesia.

~*~

I scream but nothing, nothing will come out, you’ve gone too far
So tell me how does it feel, how does it feel to be like you?
I think your mouth should be quiet ’cause it never tells the truth
So tell me, so tell me why, why does it have to be this way?

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When The Madman Stole Her Away

She was just another broken machine

With a lacklustre life and a weary sheen

But all that changed, blue turned to fay

When the madman stole her away

.

He travelled with her, grinning in bliss

Through golden time and silver galaxies

She promised she would, said he’d play

When the madman stole her away

.

She’s witnessed both his hearts break

Watched aliens trapped with no escape

Time and time, she has saved the day

When the madman stole her away

.

She is powerful, impossible, antithesis

Cause for when the universe freezes

Immaculate, tacky, sexy, he daresays

When the madman stole her away

.

She’s been hurt, bruised, and kidnapped

Tossed around and led to a fruitless stop

Banged up, hit, slammed, but she is okay

When the madman stole her away

.

Varying strangers have always come and gone

Marvelled in awe, basked in her heart and charm

But in the end, it’s always her and the madman to stay

When the Time Lord Doctor stole the TARDIS away.

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Filed under Fandom Poetry, Poetry

Conscientious Hauntings

I’m a rose that’s been raised by wolves
My thorns are getting stuck in everything I know
It’s so hard when you would bleed for the truth you know
But we don’t want the truth, we just want control…

~*~

Trailing will-o’-the-wisps recede from the corner of my eye

Playful phantoms taunt me happily as they float freely on by

Poltergeists scream and rattle as they make an awful lot of noise

Wraiths whisper omens in my ear, such a sickly hollow dry voice

.

Apparitions and spectres flash quickly by the foot of my bed

Shadows slithering out of my closet and into my head

Spirits with sharp wits leaving riddles and soft declarations

Fuzzy figures, orbs of light, that all seem like a bad hallucination

.

I live in a reality where I meet translucent ghosts at every turn

In a graveyard of regrets and dreams, the fallen ambitions of scorn

But the spirits that haunt me and my soul were never such a burden

For these companions remind me of my past mistakes, so I’ll never forget not to do it again.

~*~

…But now I see and I believe
That the ghosts that haunt me
Have been outhaunted…

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