Tag Archives: confusion

frustriert

frustration is

falling off like

stars on the ceiling

against the glow

of the bedroom

i find them crashing

with every light

that blinks out

under its own fire

i bite my tongue

hold my breath

and say i’m a liar

so blame me again

indecisiveness pours

like cement in my nerves

and it’s paralysing

hypnotising, suffocating

every slight verve

i’m holding on

but barely enough

to make a change

confusion ensconces

my heart, comforting

yet quite strange

these emotions are

heavy and overwhelming

like a tantrum storm

and frustration is

winning once again as

i’m drowned in scorn.

Leave a comment

Filed under Poetry

Frenemy

i’m so confused

as to whether

i should hate you

for your little trivialities

up for dissection

or like you for

the bigger picture of

the friend with which

i could share every emotion.

Leave a comment

Filed under Poetry

riled-up

just how the hell

do you make me

despise you and

also sorely wish

for your company

at the same time?

Leave a comment

Filed under Poetry

(stand still)

don’t make

me cry

when you

haven’t even

opened

your mouth

(to sing)

.

don’t wound

my skin

with guitar

strings as a

garrotte

straight away

(i’m dying)

.

don’t break

my lungs

with poison

when you’re

trying to

make me

(feel strong)

.

don’t make

me confused

and weak

as my soul

gains audacity

and epiphany

(don’t say i’m wrong.)

Leave a comment

Filed under Poetry

Throwing Cheap Bouquets by Juliet’s Balcony Stage

Please won’t you push me for the last time
Let’s scream until there’s nothing left
So sick of playing, I don’t want to anymore!
The thought of you’s no fucking fun
You want a martyr, I’ll be one
Because enough’s enough, we’re done!

~*~

Abandoned brains dripping on the cold spiral staircase

My crumpled train station tickets wiped them all away

The nights were as sober as 5 AM Jack on the rocks

Reset reverse repose and smash a hammer on the clock

.

You’re like a spoke in my heart, like nails through my teeth

Let’s slow down the sound of pain, ’cause you taste so sweet

I’m like the chlorine in your skin, like the poison in your cure

Maybe I’ll inject the moonshine once again just to be sure

.

You’ll never see my face in the movies as you always should

But babe it’s tough to dwell on the surface of Hollywood

Endgame of a bloodless artery, and I’m the rebel subsidiary

I’m the heart attack in your nightmares until you wake me

.

Am I confusing? Or complex? Am I the nuclear home you wrecked?

Are you the cannonball that hurtled past and broke clean my neck?

Breaths frosting over glass like a harsh blizzard in the winter

If I’m the martyr dying on a cross, then maybe you’re the sinner

.

You mixed suicide in my bloody scotch and you left me to rot

If I’m jumping off the bridge, then you’re my second thoughts

You’re the puppy crush love and I’m the old dog you put down

You hanged me by my collar in the gallows with a silent frown

.

We were screaming at each other in the most perfect harmony

If you were crying or laughing at the end of the line, I can’t see

You dosed my soul with whiskey and you sang a metal lullaby

And when I passed out from the hate, you crept out, no goodbye

.

So listen, wake the fuck up! Who the hell are you to die on me?

If you’re searching for some peace eternal, then I guess I’m sorry

I wrote your name on my mutated wrists with a blunt safety pin

And the scars on my lips won’t fade away anytime soon, darling

.

So don’t you go away now! Who the fuck are you to fall apart on me?

The razor blades in my throat won’t be swallowed with your fake sorry

This turbulent liquid passion made us crash on the tides and capsize

But if there’s a heaven waiting baby, then it won’t have a place for your lies—!

~*~

You told me think about it, well I did
And I don’t wanna feel a thing anymore
I’m tired of begging for the things that I want
I’m over sleeping like a dog on the floor
Imagine living like a king someday
A single night without a ghost in the walls
We are the shadows screaming take us now
We’d rather die than live to rest on the ground!
Shit.

Leave a comment

Filed under Poetry

☆ but ★

♫•*¨*•.¸¸♪

the sky is bound

to fall anyways

maybe i’ll hold it

back someday

but now the drugs

paralyse my body

the fumes i inhaled

make me so tipsy

and they scream in

surprise and scare

whilst chemicals, it

blurred and stared

the police in batons

they knocked down

the basement doors

paint the red towns

and i’m sitting here

with cold dead hands

clutching my heart

wishing to understand

as they plucked the

planets off the ceiling

my lucy’s parvenus

her swan song dying

maybe the sky will

fall, splash eternity

but i’ll swim in the

face of its futility.

♫•*¨*•.¸¸♪

Leave a comment

Filed under Poetry, Southern Constellations

Ponderings and Preludes IV

~*~

ON FRIENDS

Take me down to Wonderland

Down the dark rabbit hole

Try to make me understand

Your own mad little world.

~*~

ON CONFUSION

Paintings in dark grey

Time set in a weird delay

Wind’s breath is hitching

When your world is spinning.

~*~

ON LIFE IN COLOUR

I’m not jealous of rainbows

Nor the lights of the big city

My life is more bright, colourful

Than any palette will ever be.

~*~

ON WAITING

Tick. Tock. Tick. Tock.

Engrossed in the tired clock

Movement at a snail’s pace

Slowly pushing past the haze.

~*~

ON HAPPINESS

Soft hair freely twirling

Whimsical light singing

Sheer elegance elevating

And she keeps on dancing.

~*~

Leave a comment

Filed under Poetry

Dépendance Noiré

Yeah, you don’t know my mind
You don’t know my kind
Dark necessities are part of my design
Tell the world that I’m falling from the sky…

~*~

I sign the papers to my own death knell

As I gladly submit to your anathemic spell

A personal, selfish, rotten, sick addiction

Adding another rusty nail to my crucifixion

The darkest of my clandestine necessities

Lighting me up inside like wild incendiaries

Got me so high until I refuse thusly to stop

So make me fly again and fill up my cup

Swirling with the sweetest soul’s spirits

Add another toxic scarlet potion and stir it

Perfume scents, the most dizzying kind

Further deepen the haze that is my mind

Soliloquies and bullets spill from my mouth

Confessions told, kneeling in a roundabout

Vices, virtues, now they all look the same

Salvation, sinning, so remember my name

I know the bad side effects, consequences

I have knowledge of this wrongful mess

But at this point I’m lost, gone too far under

To even stop to care about it now and wonder.

~*~

Do you want this love of mine
The darkness helps to sort the shine
Do you want it, do you want it now?…

Leave a comment

Filed under Poetry