Tag Archives: contradiction

Pantomime

Borderline drowning in these messy thoughts
I’ll come down once I get some more
This substance got a hold on me, I’m insecure
I’m hearing voices, what the fuck’s that sound?
I’m going through problems I shouldn’t talk about…

~*~

I put myself in someone else’s heart

And it didn’t beat, no, it didn’t beat at all

My soul’s uncomfortable from twisting

And turning, trying to fit in the desperate crawl

The insecurities taste as heavy as substances

Making my open veins cough up less blood

I just don’t believe in myself as much as I should

And doubts weigh me down when I’ve had

A step away from my eyes and into empty shoes

Which squeaked when I wore them, the laces loose

And the soles were worn down from these miles of walking

I may have gone the distance but I didn’t do the talking

I’m no longer genuine, just as diamonds are always fake

Covering up for my mortalities with graver mistakes

And pretending I wasn’t me, for once I don’t know

What the parts of my anatomy were, how everything goes

The self-hatred whispers things I don’t want to have thought

And my mama tells me I’ve always been what I’m not

Head a mess, anxiety regaled in fanfare intuition

They say life’s not fair without a taste of contradiction

But I’m just trying to regain what I once lost with my pen

Discover all the stories I missed making amends again

I put myself in someone else’s heart, and it didn’t beat at all

But mine only started to breathe when I let myself answer the call.

~*~

I’m not comfortable
No, I just can’t seem to feel at all
I’m not comfortable
So, I’ll take another pharmaceutical
‘Cause I’m uncomfortable…

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Thanatopsis Erebus

Soft wrists and sharp edges

A dark breath in decline

The disconcerting interplay

Performance of the sign

Moon-blanched vulgarities

Pale innocence on death

Wistful dreams for coroners

Torment thy cozen health

Sedation after manipulations

Lies of century-old adage

Contradictions the affectation

Of this cadenced sabotage

Soft minds and sharp hindsight

Provoke suffocating times

Of this disenchanting execution

Leaving only wordless lines.

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What’s Wrong?

It’s all overgrown but you’ll never know
Take the mirror from the wall so I can’t see myself at all
Don’t wanna see another damn inch of my skull
Forget the poems of saints and ghosts, I’m the one I fear the most
Little did I know that I was only crying wolf…

~*~

Lied faceless identities and lost nameless bones

Broken mirrors romancing with concrete stones

Low voices muttering in the middle of the night

Back against the wall, turned under black lights

Standing in the midst of destruction that rebirths

Sacrificing sanctity for the sake of scars to revert

.

I will be what’s wrong with the world.

.

A hundred metaphors deleted in boldface type

Swearing for the shadows, cursing lack of spite

For no one envisions a future with personal ties

Because tongues can only soar out when they lie

An arsenal of armory, walls built to keep them out

Convinced by the paranoia and mitigated by doubt

.

I will be what’s wrong with the world.

.

So call out the name that’s censored in every news station

Immortalised only in faded graffiti and youthful separation

So seek on and find now what can only be seen by the blind

To a place where wrong is right, and the heart beats the mind

I won’t be the marching guide, the black parade you’ll follow

But in a reality of common opposites and moral contradictions, I know

.

I am what’s wrong with the world.

~*~

No I never sold my soul, no I never sold mine
I know it’s so wrong but I’m so far gone
Don’t need you to tell me I’m so cynical
Quit being so over-skeptical
Don’t need a metaphor for you to know I’m miserable…

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at the edge of my seat (but i can’t fall off)

Curtains close, take a bow
I think we fooled all of them now
Who you are, what you say
What you do each and every single day
I’ve made my bed, so I’ll lie in it
I’ve dug my grave, so God help me die in it…

~*~

i don’t feel right at all

it’s as if i have a hangnail

at the sides of my heart

and i want to excavate

my chest and pull it out

even if that would make it

worse and bleed me out

but i just fucking can’t

.

it’s like a thousand eyes

digging holes in my flesh

dictating what i should feel

soft glances then angry glares

sweet skies then dark rains

never constant, always blinking

fluctuating under oscillating

up and down and up and down

.

it’s like a quicksilver potion

by a bastardous mad scientist

injected within my system

mercurial and temperamental

turning me in a million shades

of colours unknown to the mind

until i’m unconscious, oblivious

to my own grotesque sentience

.

no, i don’t feel right at all

and it’s like i want to detonate

from all the myriad conflictions

and the infinite contradictions

shattering, breaking, annihilating

i just want to be alright for once

i just want to feel nothing at all

but i can’t…no, i fucking can’t.

~*~

Just like the living dead, I’ve got a taste for something
And I don’t want it, I just need it
And I can’t believe that it’s getting harder just to feel alive
It’s getting harder just to feel alive…

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Amour

It gives you pain to make you numb

It gives you sense to make you dumb

It gives you dirt to wipe a clean slate

It gives you love to make you feel hate.

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