Tag Archives: crave

A Happy Kind Of High

I know that there’s no dealing
With the way I’m feeling
I’m so out of touch with everyone 
And everything’s a blur to me…


I’m super high on happy

The dopamine nearly kills me

Bouncing like an excited puppy

Smiling wears me all the way to revelry

Slightly crazy, mostly high

But right now I’m too stupid to die

I may have ditched the walk to town

But playing sour notes won’t get me down

I could talk about love all day

But don’t get me wrong, ‘cause it’s easier to say

Than to complain about my cold coffee

The sugar tastes sweet, laughing over candy

I’ll never be royal and I don’t wish for gold

But I just don’t want to do as I’m told

I might have missed another point

But keep your eyes off me until you appoint

Life in blue and colour-coded pastel

The empty picture frames I have can go to hell

I may be tired, but there ain’t nothing to it

And I won’t stare and quietly sit

Because I love songs that scream, songs that dream

Songs with titles ripping at the cover’s seams

I love songs that I can dance to at the top of my lungs

And songs that don’t make any sense, I won’t leave them unsung

Made in America, from Houston to California

A wild party in Baltimore, childish theme parks in Florida

From Australia to England, each road and tour a trip

For each minute I walk and listen, ain’t anything I’d skip

I’m dizzy and frisky on this unfamiliar feeling

My hands raised in devil signs, my feet touching the ceiling

I’m confused, almost passing out from hysteric serotonin

But still I want more, enough to take me all the way to heaven

I’m super high on happy, and I will write a million words

About my eccentric thoughts in this square-cut world

Because I may be sad all the time, but that doesn’t mean

That I’m not allowed to have fun, and in the rarest times that I do

It’s more than what I need to carry on and crave life again.


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Escape From Hell

Or would you say that I had a part of it?
Well, I guess we’ll never know
Constant recovery
I see you choke and it takes my breath away
But all is good, we close our eyes
They all accept the lie…


Now, don’t you dare say I had any part of this

That assault was undisguised and remorseless

When the faces in the mirror melted into ghosts

If I can save our hunger, guess we’ll never know


Next up, constantly crossing staler thresholds of recovery

As I bruise my bones, uncertainty slips between my knees

Don’t stop, shaking and breaking against painful demands

And you could make the sugar taste like salt in your hands


Before the hearts of the heartless burn down the bloodless

Trapped in the spinning spokes, and crushed in failing tests

Neglect reckless ambivalence, amplify the screaming angels

Elusive degeneration suspended back to a contaminated hell


A procession of painkillers parading in my tumescent tongue

From carotid to clavicle, this concussion hits like a blank gun

Treachery will never leave your ears, no matter what the cost

The invalid and confined crawl in damned realms, forever lost


Reject habitual vindication, accept their saccharine lies that feed

To the unresponsive eyes craving desperately for what they need

And we’re tangled in this fucking mess our veins will never show

If I’m still innocent, if you could be saved, guess we’ll never know.


I let you down, and I started to run
Never meant to be your pain
Oh my god, what have I become?
Show me and show me the way back
Show me the way back home!

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deep cut

I’m relapsing down again

There’s desperation everywhere

And it’s fucking contagious

It’s just another one of those days

Where I’m sinking in misery

And suffocating in my own self-pity

For no rational reason at all

That it’s almost pathetic

It is fucking pathetic.

I’m feeling the need badly

To colour my world with carmine

And murder my twisted veins

But I can’t, I shouldn’t—

I thought I called a ceasefire

But it’s burning in my heart

Tearing apart my mind with screams

And making my senses recede

Into senselessness that ironically

I can cancel out with one

Silver glint and a single slash

But I won’t, I musn’t—

And yet I really fucking should.

The crave is almost unbearable

I can’t resist falling in from the sin

Please pray, please understand

I need the pain to breathe

My lungs refuse to provide oxygen

I need this pain to live

I really don’t want to…

But I have to.

Please don’t let me touch the blade

Please don’t let my skin touch the blade

Please don’t let me…

D o n ‘ t . . .

I’m sorry.

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