Tag Archives: crazy

Interstellar Lovely

Interstellar lovely, with the plaited halo down your back

You make me kinda crazy, you beat my flaxen heart to black

With the way your bow lips move to make a spinning retort

Colliding with my asteroids, tonight’s forecast screams abort

.

Interstellar lovely, won’t you give this girl another chance?

I may not be too pretty, but I’ve still got a fighting stance

Crooked glasses and stray sweater sleeve driving me insane

But she’ll shoot past the stratosphere before I could say her name.

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Woozy

Crazy

I’m fucking

Crazy

And nothing

Else

Really matters

I just

Want to sleep

For a

Million years

Without

Thinking about

All of the

Consequences

Awaiting me

In sunrise gloom

I just want

To lay in my bed

And think

About nothing else

But nothing

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The Gods Must Be Crazy

quite the deceiver,

quite the believer

stacked to their knees

in soulless caprice

an empire of forgiveness

dying out in churchyard halls

.

quite the receiver,

quite the achiever

mouths of golden fleece

to hide the eternal abyss

holding hostage all the fearless

smiting saints in altar pitfalls.

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(p.s., i think it’s spelled with a c, not a z)

caffeine resurgence

i’ve chewed my lips

.

half to death, and yet

nervousness twists

.

gordian knots down

the line in my body

.

where the blood and

bad ideas connect

.

rushing all the way to

my head, making me

.

feel dizzy, half crazy

extricated motions

.

my consciousness

craves bitter humour

.

barking laughter, but

i’m far from happy

.

just another white lie

of another blurred face

.

you’re making it kind

of awkward to think

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Obsessive

I will always love you
But I need pills to sleep
I have always failed you
So throw away my memories…

~*~

I love you, I know

I feel it in my bones

From the top of my head

You make me go red

.

I love you, I know

I swear it’s just crazy

I stutter and swell

At the sight of you, lovely

.

I love you, I know

There’s no one else for me

You’re a gemstone star

You’re so nice and so pretty

.

I love you, I know

Everyday that grows stronger

But my heart grows weak

Won’t you please make it better?

.

I love you, I know

Though it’s kinda distracting

I can’t live anymore

You’re just always attracting

.

I love you, I know

My brain can’t stop thinking

About all the chances

That will never be happening

.

I love you, I know

I swear I’ll do anything

There’s no way back

I find myself constricting

.

I love you, I know

Please, why can’t you see

Am I just a false illusion?

Just what is it about me?

.

I love you, I know

Or maybe I’m just dumb

At this point, I can’t tell

Maybe I’m just too numb

.

I love you, I know

I fear there’s no control

I love you, I think

I should go see a shrink.

~*~

So throw away my memories
Throw them all away.

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You Get Me So High (All The Time)

You sat in front of me tensely; shaky hands, quivering lips, splintered voice, I almost believed you for a second

I’m not looking for an apology. I’m not looking for love. I’m just looking out for myself

Your hair tangled like barbed wires, dirty fingernails agitatedly running through it in an attempt to search for an answer—why? Why not?

I’ve heard the same dialogue before. It tastes the exact same way it did when I woke up this morning and felt only cold bedsheets and bitter advil on my tongue, spit it out

Betrayal. Is that what you called it? Is that how badly you think of me? Dirty traitor. Is that what I am?

The viselike grip on my throat slowly tightens, leaving just enough space for a final dignified gasp. The wooden chair creaks an inch

But you kicked it over. Swinging like autumn leaves, a bit dramatic. I did it all for you. Surely you must have. Let’s see them figure you out without a crumpled note to tell them why

Because I honestly don’t know either, dear. Whiskey and aftershave makes me feel dizzy and I can’t think clearly. Have to t h r o w – u p

Bruises line the bathroom wall and I stumble over your slippery tears. Were you listening behind the door, when I was crying my face out? Yes. Quite wet. A quick shower doesn’t sound so bad. Might get rid of all the nasty stains on my shirt

Fucking crazy bastard, you spitefully whisper on the other side of the fogged-up glass, and I can’t help but smile back, diamond girl

Isn’t that why you fell for me?

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Of Feminine Odds And Endings

I swear you complete me
Pink and blue on the skyline
Don’t the demons take this time
So raise me up, never say you’ve had enough
And you know it’s love when it’s bottled up…

~*~

Spent ten days counting dandelions in a field

Like time was miserable and needed camera thrills

Painting a scene that wasn’t quite as wayward

As a night filled with stars in some cheap postcard

Distance is effervescent when I close my eyes

Lips pulled into an idyllic smile, trying to play nice

.

Waking up when the collapse is felt in earthquake faults

Visions stifled with thorazine, my art is charcoal cold

I’ll dance like it’s the apocalypse, I’ll sing loud like I mean it

Spin a tornado with the air I have left in my lungs sweet

I’m just a mess trapped in sunflower swirls and pastel dreams

Tinderbox between my teeth, aldehyde ignites my screams

.

I don’t mind that it’s mindless, I don’t make any sense

The windows show my only escape from pyrexia bleakness

I’ll cast a spell and make the golden in the sunshine die

Plucked violets intricately lacing, like delinquent butterflies

Traipse by coastlines ’til the shore is nowhere to be found

Staring at the hypnotic horizon until I cannot feel the ground

.

Heavy, heavy, heavy dahlias; transient mysteries I’ll never solve

The morning’s further past over, and the mourning’s getting old

I’m a melancholy melody, I’m a symptom of severing snowdrops

A feverish heart cured by faux rhinestones from a psychic’s shop

Contrary crazy, I only miss the rain when the weather’s at it’s best

Drown in myself, I’ll keep looking for an exit out of this baby’s breath.

~*~

I had a dream that
I drove my car off a mountain
I fell back into your baby’s breath
Wish I didn’t miss you
Kiss me like it’s the apocalypse
I fell back into your baby’s breath…

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after the lobotomy

Pardon me, cutting sleep
I’m taking up grinding teeth
You’re why I’m sitting here, hating myself
For needing someone so bad
And feeling dumb dumb dumb…

~*~

mind your head

can’t concentrate

i want you to go

don’t stay away

i’m being feisty

my smile is numb

you got me walking

saying “goddamn”

you’re in my line

of sight and range

but duck your head

before it’s too late

my voices are all out

i won’t say a thing

but i’ll hang around

till i get what you mean

pardon, i lost my mind

when you came around

you’re far too high for me

so let me go, let me go down.

~*~

If why I’m sitting here
All goes wrong
Just pushing me back to Texas
Walking bum bum, goddamn…

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The Blondes Are (Not) Alright

Blew motivation I had
To make my still beating-something
Not hurt that bad
Haven’t been home in some months
I haven’t loved myself
Just watching friends online
Look like they need some help…

~*~

I brought a knife to a shootout

But I’m not looking for a fistfight

I don’t mean to get too bloody

I just wanted to feel a little alright

.

But it’s difficult to make amends

When you’re holding the trigger

And kiss the muzzle to my mouth

Before I plead for it to get better

.

Bang bang bang, do you feel it yet?

Don’t drop that dime to take a bet

If I die now on the pavement curb

I’ll try not to bleed out on your shirt

.

I brought awkward to the limelight

I hear it’s the latest fashion show

I don’t mean to flaunt my mistakes

I just wanted everyone to know

.

That it’s hard to feel sorry

When you’re feeling sorry for yourself

They said I’m being crazy

Like condescencion’s good for my health

.

Clap clap clap, do you feel regret?

Hold on to plastic, it’s not over yet

I’ve got about three more acts to go

And the script makes to take it slow

.

I brought a friend to a death match

Just to see who’ll take the first move

I don’t mean to make it too chaotic

Just seeing if you would if you could

.

I never ask about the when, what, or why

I’ve been standing here thinking all was fine

But then the situation changed to see you

Spitting comments on the shoes I just shined

.

Blah blah blah, will you ready get set?

You’re the best nothing I’ve ever met

Too cool for the beatdown that ensues

Tie my hands to the bomb, I had no clue

.

I brought sobriety to the late pub nights

And they all told me to get the hell out

You brought the glass to my lips again

And drowned me in self-sustaining doubt

.

We can laugh about all the memories we hate

Including how this one has an expiration date

Looks like you want some help, damn, just ask

Don’t keep it in and blame other lies in the past

.

No no no, I didn’t mean to be thinking this loud

I gave you privacy when you told me to fuck off

I guess I’m done with fun, and I’m done, it’s true

But don’t worry honey, at least it’s all about you.

~*~

I never wanted to be thinking this loud
I never asked about the when, why or how
I wanted privacy, routine and everything between
While they’re just finding me out
I never wanted to be thinking this loud…

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A Happy Kind Of High

I know that there’s no dealing
With the way I’m feeling
I’m so out of touch with everyone 
And everything’s a blur to me…

~*~

I’m super high on happy

The dopamine nearly kills me

Bouncing like an excited puppy

Smiling wears me all the way to revelry

Slightly crazy, mostly high

But right now I’m too stupid to die

I may have ditched the walk to town

But playing sour notes won’t get me down

I could talk about love all day

But don’t get me wrong, ‘cause it’s easier to say

Than to complain about my cold coffee

The sugar tastes sweet, laughing over candy

I’ll never be royal and I don’t wish for gold

But I just don’t want to do as I’m told

I might have missed another point

But keep your eyes off me until you appoint

Life in blue and colour-coded pastel

The empty picture frames I have can go to hell

I may be tired, but there ain’t nothing to it

And I won’t stare and quietly sit

Because I love songs that scream, songs that dream

Songs with titles ripping at the cover’s seams

I love songs that I can dance to at the top of my lungs

And songs that don’t make any sense, I won’t leave them unsung

Made in America, from Houston to California

A wild party in Baltimore, childish theme parks in Florida

From Australia to England, each road and tour a trip

For each minute I walk and listen, ain’t anything I’d skip

I’m dizzy and frisky on this unfamiliar feeling

My hands raised in devil signs, my feet touching the ceiling

I’m confused, almost passing out from hysteric serotonin

But still I want more, enough to take me all the way to heaven

I’m super high on happy, and I will write a million words

About my eccentric thoughts in this square-cut world

Because I may be sad all the time, but that doesn’t mean

That I’m not allowed to have fun, and in the rarest times that I do

It’s more than what I need to carry on and crave life again.

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