Tag Archives: dark poem

Daddy’s Little Girl

“Make daddy proud, honey.”

You once remarked to me

As you bounced me upon your strong knee

And I laughed and squealed with utmost glee

.

“Yes daddy deaw, I make you pwoud of me, pwomise!”

I replied, a toothless grin, r’s left unpronounced

A silly promise, a random bright day

But little did I know that those words will always stay

.

And your little butterfly did grow up soon

But on the way, something went wrong

Her metamorphosis distorted her inside her cocoon

And she came out with a different song

.

Dark on the outside, dark in her thoughts

She thought herself ugly, she thought herself a moth

Gave in to bad influence, destroyed her wings

Bled herself dry and now hardly sings

.

“Make daddy proud”

And I know you were crestfallen

To see your little princess turn around

And grow up to be this horrible person

.

And you were there daddy, you watched me turn

You watched me hurt, you watched me burn

And Heaven knows how you tried to help, father

But I thought you were just being a bother

.

You know your little girl was gone

It’s faded away, all the brightness of her sun

What’s even worse is that when you tried to give her light

All she did was shun you, ignore you with all her might

.

And I know that even though you acted so strong

It slowly killed your heart and soul inside

The failure of a girl with a life so wrong

And you couldn’t help her, lest you tried

.

So, are you proud of me now, dad?

Or just plain disappointed?

Are you angry? Steamed? Very mad?

Or simply heavily discontented?

.

I’ve changed again now, and this time grew up right

And off it went, the fog that clouded my sight

I want to see you again, be able to go back to our happy date

But now I know that it’s…it’s too late

.

I’m very sorry daddy, I know I dashed your dreams

And you’re not the one to blame, it’s my fault that I’m like this

But even though I didn’t keep my promise, there’s always one thing that’s true

I love you so, so much dad, because you made me very proud of you.

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The Five Senses

Screaming, shouting, erupting from the room

Mouths never cease to talk, sharp tongues almost burn

People nagging people, stinging voices right and left

I wish that I couldn’t hear, I wish I was deaf

.

Fighting, discord, all around the place

Bedlam, chaos, never-ending hate

Humans murder humans, endless wars and battles you can find

I wish that I couldn’t see a thing, I wish I was blind

.

Filthy pollution emanating from the world

Stank decaying corruption from a politician’s words

Putrid garbage and decaying flesh constantly invading my nose

I wish that I couldn’t smell, I wish for an endless cold

.

The bitter taste of pain and metallic blood, never to leave my mouth

I try to wash it out with sweets, but it always sticks about

Disgusting promises, tasteless lies constantly crammed in my throat

I wish that I couldn’t taste, I wish my tongue was naught

.

The infinite hurt and torture, everyday I always endure and feel

I desperately shut it out, but I know that it’s what’s actually real

Splice my skin, shatter my soul, plant silky voices in my head

I really wish that I couldn’t feel, I wish I was better off dead.

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Are You Happy Now?

You prowl and meet her “by accident”

On a very busy street

You tripped, gave her bags a dent

And ask for forgiveness from a treat

.

You force a thin smile

And laugh along

You two walk for a mile

And sing her songs

.

Your razor-sharp words

You try to hide

Dive into her own little world

And rip her apart inside

.

Painful, disgraceful

Shameful little prat

You took her for a fool

You took her a brat

.

You lie through your teeth

And bite your tongue

Performed endless feats

Of songs unsung

.

Fanned the blazing fires

Added fuel to the flames

Fed her great desire

Without any shame

.

You showed your true colors at last

And feasted like a hungry sinner

You broke her and broke your fast

And emerged the victorious winner

.

Now she cries and you look down

Monster, are you proud of your work?

You walk away, she screams and frowns

Disgusted, pathetic, so much hurt

.

Foul creature, do you feel great?

Happy? Satisfied? What do you feel?

Of course you feel nothing, and she feels self-hate

Because to you, she was just another meal.

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The Tale of a Human Heart

I always thought she was perfect

Invincible, indestructible

Flawless in every way

I thought she cannot be wrecked

Cannot be destroyed from where she stood

Like Superman in disguise

And because of that careless mindset

I became a terrible person

I often caught myself scolding her

Reprimanding her, chastising her

For failing to do something perfectly

Like I thought she always does

Failing to notice the good things she’s done for me

And instead focusing on her minute mistakes

But did she shun me for this?

Shout at me? Tell me to stop?

No.

Instead she sucked it up and tried even harder

Tried to be flawless, to be that perfect person

That faultless person I always imagined in my head

She tried, even though it was slowly killing her

She tried too hard, and it was shattering her soul, little by little

Until her strive to perfection finally took a toll on her

And one day I saw her lying on the floor

Shallow breathing, bloodshot eyes, a barely conscious mind

And at that moment I finally saw her for what she was

Vulnerable, hurting, fragile

I screamed, I cried, I wailed in pain

When I finally saw my superhero collapse

And crumble to the ground

She had a terrible sickness, the doctors said

It was eating her inside

They looked at me with pity and regret

As though they could understand

And when I sat next to her hospital bed

That’s when I finally realized…

She’s only human.

She’s not Superman, she’s not a god

She’s not perfect, she’s not sinless

She’s just human, like the rest of us are

She laughs, she cries, she gets angry, she feels

She gets hurt, she bleeds, she has a soul

She’s prone to sickness and even death

And what did I do? Try to get her out of bounds

Pushed her to her limits, make her achieve the impossible

But because of my stupidity, she paid for it instead

She took the fall when I was the one holding the ax

I’m so sorry, darling, I couldn’t be good enough for you

She said in between shallow breaths

I’m so sorry I had to be sick

No, don’t say that, it was all my fault

I replied as I held back tears

I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m so, so sorry

But saying sorry doesn’t matter at all now in the end

As her eyelids started to flutter, and her heart started to slow down

She caressed my face one more time, and I held her close in my heart

And she finally whispered her very last words

I love you, mixed with the sounds of the flatline

The final judgement for life

My tears fell so fast, there was no point holding them back now

The woman I had to brave for was gone

Yes, in the end, she was just another human

But to me she was the most important human in the world

I guess…now it’s too late to say that to her though

But there is only one thing I know in myself

And I know that she does too

The only words she needed for peace

I love you too, mom.

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Public Enemy Number One

Tease and jeer all you want, I’m completely used to it

As they laugh and make fun of me, all alone I sit

I do something right, and yet they choose to ignore

But one wrong move, and they notice, they give me horror

And fat load of good my family was, as well

‘Cause all they ever did was drag my life deeper into hell

My siblings sneer and mock me, my mother turned a blind eye and ran

As they stare into the face of me, public enemty number one

~*~

Bits of garbage in my hair, loads of rubbish at my feet

Why does it even matter, since I’m just also trash lying on the street

Insults and injuries for me, the words pass through my head

You’re stupid, you’re ugly, you’re better off dead

And at home, all they give me is useless loads of crap

Make new ways to punish me, to lead me into a trap

All I am is just a human prop, used by the people to have fun

A useless toy, a plaything, public enemy number one

~*~

For years I have tolerated it all, absorbed up all their lies

Like a sponge, simply soaking up all the hate that I despised

Days and weeks flew by, and all I ever did was tremble and cry

And never once did I ever leave or ever say goodbye

But now’s the breaking point, I simply couldn’t take it anymore

I can’t go on carrying this torturous ordeal, with this harrowing chore

And after I kill myself, I know they’ll miss me when I’m gone

They’ll miss toruring, picking on, having around a public enemy number one.

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Broken Reflection

I peered hesitantly into the cold, glistening mirror

And stared straight into the facade of a hideous monster

Crimson on its twitching lips and on the tainted clothes that it wore

Pale white skin, bloodshot eyes, a grotesque appearance it bore

As scared as I was, I could sense all its hate, anger and pain as well

It was nursing a broken shattered soul, that I could still fully tell

I screamed, and cried even more in remorse as I finally realized

That the ugly monster that I saw was full of lies

…I was staring at my own reflection

I smashed the glass in anger, and broken glass scattered on the floor

Placed a shard on my pulse, and the gruesome beast was but a lore.

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Log Out

(Part 2. Part 1 can be seen here: https://alostpaintingslaments.wordpress.com/2014/04/04/log-in/)

~*~

PART ONE: CONSOLING

Your life might always feel the same

But you can break the loop yourself

Erase the pain, re-cleanse your name

And I would gladly help

.

So you choose to hide your torturous lies

Adding up to your great collection

Try to muffle up your pain and cries

Thinking you’re the master of perfection

.

Life’s a game that we all play

We all have our trials and struggles everyday

But find the door that leads to happiness

Knock politely, and life will answer with gladness

.

I can still see a bit of hope

Through all the hate and all the mope

I still have all my trust in you

And I really hope you make it too

~*~

PART TWO: STRUGGLING CONTRADICTIONS

Can you hear me now?

God, please listen to my vow

Help me set him free

Restore his faith, help him see

.

On my knees, I take a bow

Please clear his thoughts of all the evil and wrong

The time to end all this is now

He has to face this soon, he must be strong

.

Madness is just a false perception

Escaping is but a mere excuse

Just live your life with no exception

Our worlds will collide, and you can’t afford to lose

.

Stop diving into an unrealistic world

Don’t lose yourself to something fake

Stop fantasizing, that’s so absurd

Don’t just easily believe in something that you make

.

Find the boundary between what’s real and not

Look for the hints, there’s quite a lot

Don’t ever lose to something all made-up

Try to avoid its sneaky hidden traps

.

Don’t lock yourself up for all eternity

Bleeding slowly, in a huge state of misery

Please try stopping this endless falling rain

Instead of just drowning in misery and pain

.

Living your life in such a drastic state

You’ll never achieve anything at this rate

Living life in contradictions

You’re nothing more than an empty shell without emotion

.

There you find yourself again

Same as before, it never ends

All your thoughts clouding up with hate

Anger, depression, meet your fate

~*~

PART THREE: HELPING DESPERATION

It seems you’re in the darkest pit

And we try to help, but instead you throw a fit

“Leave me alone” you scream and seethe

“I’m in my safe place, don’t dare pull me out of it”

.

You have the choice, please choose to fight

Remove the shackles bound by the night

Break free of all restraints, restore your light

Defeat the madness, achieve what’s right

.

Find your will, the urge to be free

Resist to cave in with all your might

Remove the blindfold, try to see

Do not be overcome with spite

.

I’ll try my best to guide you

So please, try to get my clue

Stand up, take action, and pursue

You can still make it, it’s true

.

Feel it within your soul

Hurry, run fast, reach for that goal

Do your best, give your all

Mend your broken heart till it’s whole

.

I’ve done the best that I can

It’s your turn to take a stand

You’re not a monster, and you’re not strange

You are still human, and that won’t ever change.

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Log In

(Part 1. Part 2 can be seen here: https://alostpaintingslaments.wordpress.com/2014/04/04/log-out/)

~*~

PART ONE: LAMENTING

Stuck in an endless loop that’s broken

Always ignored and stays hidden

I don’t want my life like that

Just a waste of space, an ignorant prat

.

So I want to hide it all

I don’t care if I pay the toll

The lies piling up on my brain

Thinking about it all gives me a huge strain

.

I can’t take all the hurt and the pain

Watching myself lose in this stupid life game

In the darkness, groping for the door

And I just end up on the cold, hard floor

.

My faith is fading fast

The hollow hope that never lasts

The trust that gets all shattered up

The love that just suddenly stops

~*~

PART TWO: ESCAPE

Can you hear me now?

On my my knees, I make a silent vow

My painful pleas echoing inside my head

My misery ignored by everyone alive and dead

.

God, please listen to my sorrows

Don’t make this day end, I don’t want a tomorrow

Let me stay inside this solitary core

Inside this perfect place forevermore

.

Madness is how I play

Escaping from reality is the only way

I don’t want to face what I know cannot be fixed

My world and your world obviously don’t mix

.

Numbed, brainwashed by a little prescription

OD’d by a drug called fiction

Stuck inside my own fantasies

Indulged in my thoughts and insanities

.

Tear down the walls separating fiction and reality

What is real? What is not?

Succumbing to the wrong world, losing my mentality

It’s been so long, I already forgot

.

Stuck in my fantasy

Miserable, bleeding, hanging to insanity

My mind is bound to an abyss that’s empty

For all eternity

.

I’m chained by the darkness

But refusing the light

I want to escape from this whole mess

But I’ll choose to stay in the dead, silenced night

.

I’ve lost my humanity, it’s far gone

Pathetic puppet, miming in this world

Nothing more than the devil’s pawn

Spilling out useless words

~*~

PART THREE: REFUSAL

Leave me in my painful paradise

I don’t care if it’s all just lies

This is my torturous escape, my own reality

The only thing that I’ll choose to see

.

I will gladly refuse to fight

The enemy is not the night

I don’t want to head into the blinding light

This false reality is what’s right

.

Darkness will bind me now

And I shall learn to cope somehow

The piercing dark blinding my eyes

Soon, the light will be nothing but a painful surprise

.

I don’t need anyone’s help

I don’t need your endless game of charades

I can already take care of myself

And I know I won’t make it, with this endless parade

.

My soul is already gone

My inner-self has escaped and ran

I’m not what I used to be

It’ll never be the same, I’ll never ever be free

.

I don’t want to take a stand

I refuse your helping hand

I am not human anymore

This monster inside me has devoured me to my very core.

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Amaranthine (A Never Ending Loop)

(A first attempt at making a really deep and dark poem…and I ¬†failed badly. This poem is somewhat free verse, and sorry if it’s unclear or unorganized or you couldn’t really understand it. P.S. Sorry I disappeared for, like, months. But anyways. On with the poem~)

~*~

As the lost souls in hell cry out in remorse;

The paucity of those who weep

Yet they’re trapped there until they are silenced

And forever may be over by then

.

Whilst we live, perfunctory and controlled

Bounded by the chains we carry for eternity

With our souls, colder than the winter rain

As our delirious mind reaches out in vain

.

And our dark hearts, untouched and bleak

Cold and empty, like the endless abyss

Our thoughts disguised, devoid, and consumed

Our feelings washed out, poisoned, removed

.

But the rage crashing inside us, cruel, volatile and wild

The things we choke down, the words we strangle off

Yet the agony and torture we choose, the emotions we exiled

And this residue remains, imprints, marks, leftover pain

.

Withered flowers, puppeted by the cruel winds

Bends and dances with the songs of our sins

And the blades of the unforgiving wind cuts through our skins

As we feel the harshness of our own mistakes

.

Pained spirits gaze of into the boundless skyline

The voices of the Seraphs echoing in the evanescing sunshine

And they sing, grave and cacophonic, varying requiems

As our deathbed awaits, bitter, harsh, quiescent

.

We breath our last dying breaths with a scent of regret

And we finally leave this world and enter the graves we dug up

With no one to care, and no one to grieve, we lay until we rot

This was the final fate our lives had met

.

Our souls get pulled into a place of chaos and madness

We get thrown away in an endless river of misery and nightmares

We get drenched with pain and torture, the hurt seeping through our bones

And we finally end up, one with the lost, crying, wandering souls.

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Twisted Nursery Rhymes pt. 1

(A little something I’ve been working on during the holidays. Part 2 comes out soon. Creating twisted versions of nursery rhymes on a Christmas? Pffft. Why the heck not?)

~*~

Hush-a-bye baby, on the treetop

Your uncaring mother left you there to rot

When the storm starts, your cradle will fall

And you will be broken, head, bones, and all.

~*~

Twinkle, twinkle, little star

Giving us light from afar

But nobody knows the whole truth

That you are dead when your light reaches earth

Twinkle, twinkle, little star

Lying to us from the start.

~*~

It’s raining, it’s pouring

The old man is snoring

He bumped his head, it bled and bled

And he was dead in the morning.

~*~

Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall

Humpty Dumpty got pushed and fell

All the best surgeons and funeral men

Couldn’t put his mangled body together again.

~*~

Little Miss Muffet

Sat on a tuffet

Stuffing herself with pie

But then came the baker

Who punched and beat and whipped her

Because she stole the pie from their store.

~*~

Note: Yeaaaah, I have a…vivid mind. Which is a nicer term for psychopathic.)

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