Tag Archives: death

The Ballad of the Arrogant Hearts

THE BALLAD OF THE ARROGANT HEARTS: VENTRICLE

Prologue Eins:

Tear it down! Break the barricade!
I wanna see what sound it makes
I hate this flavour with a passion
And I fucking hate the aftertaste!
How does it feel? How does it feel?
Well, it feels like I’m on fire!
Wake up, I know you can hear me…

~*~

I.) A Senseless Stardom And A Playwright’s Pain.
.

Bury me by the open venetian windows, where I can visit you every night

You know my anatomy like a circus act, but you turned off the spotlight

My pavement kiss tastes harsh, but the scissors accentuate my sacrifice

You deceive and desecrate me far too often, but shit, I’ll never suffice

.

Pose like a drunk pubescent actress, come on Marilyn, show some emotion

Every boy watching television shall receive your desperate transmissions

A noose of flowers and confection confessions melting on your tongue

Your affections were transgressions, but you’re so pretty when you run

.

I used to write letters and poetry, but now for you, I only write obituaries

Don’t be sorry for little orphan Annie whose cellar is her own sanctuary

I’m a vagabond, you’re a bastard child, we’re a match made in angel hell

Inferno strikes under our tangled veins and the paradise the demon sells

.

You were memorising phone numbers like it’s the digits on my credit card

If there was a prize for a comely crass drama queen, you’ll win that award

Ignorance might be your best friend, but I’ve been dating her for ten long years

It’s a violent explosion of distractions and disappointment in second gear

.

As they all say, fuck the love, we’re in this game for the fame and money

Toasting our dead hearts with cocaine and expired 20 dollar champagne

I’ll scream for help, sabotage! Please don’t murder me with pleurisy baby!

And if I cry in my sleep, then you will know that I’m still dancing from pain…

—————————————

-i-n-t-e-r-m-i-s-s-i-o-n-

—————————————

THE BALLAD OF THE ARROGANT HEARTS: PULSE

Prologue Zwei:

Make me a promise here tonight!
Love like a tidal wave
Dreamless in early graves
I never want it to be this way
The chemicals will bring you home again
This is it, when it’s done, we can say that
When it’s sudden death we fight back!

~*~

II.) Confessions Of A Mad Stranger To An Inebriated Lover.

I confess by the altar, this is my last testament and surrendering admonition

Two souls like an orchestra, and I’ll conduct this symphony of destruction

I’m the only menace to your fugitive life, a key witness and an accomplice

I got scar evidence to lock you behind diamond bars for a million years

.

You said it wasn’t a crime to feel, but the police are banging down my door

I promised I’d be just a little more sorry, but it’s just been a vulture’s chore

This turbulence in New Jersey, this fucking turbulence is beautiful for me

I may be deleterious and despondent, but your Europe eyes are a mystery

.

I can smell clashing bitter bourbon and saccharine chocolate in your breath

You sicken me, but I feel better by shutting the closet doors and drinking late

Towed away in our underwater love, and I’ll be drifting away to abyssal death

But if I escape hell, I’ll sneak back into heaven for free, so don’t close the gate

.

Don’t pay for your blessing, just grind the forest ax and damn, don’t hesitate

The big bad wolf will rend you to shreds if you swing away a second too late

Stuttering from the piercing bullet bites and the blizzard cold on your tattoos

Though I’m taking, I’m taking, I’m f-f-fucking taking back Saturday from you

.

The jagged edges of your dress are wounding me badly as we’re locked in final embrace

Weighed down and singing our tainted names under the concrete rain like a disgrace

I know I’m a stupid motherfucker, thinking that with eternal hate, I’ll never be left alone

But darling, I’ll leave the answering machine on all night, in case you decide to come home.

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See Jane

Jane was taught many things throughout the course of her life. Jane was taught to be a good girl to mummy and daddy. Jane was taught to say her prayers and obey what she was told to do. Jane was taught to clean herself up and clean up after herself. Jane was taught to do her curly blonde hair up in ribbons and pigtails, polish her red maryjane shoes into a dazzling shine, and wear her best cotton pastel dresses. Jane was taught to walk with proper posture, smile gracefully, speak in a soft feminine voice, and to go about with tasks in an elegant finesse. Jane was taught to learn her academic lessons well at the private all-girls catholic school she was attending, and as well as her weekly lessons about faith and God at Sunday class in the town church. Jane was taught not to play too roughly, never to join the bad flock of black sheep, and to generally stay out of trouble. Jane was taught to be polite, friendly, amiable, and to be approachable and presentable. Simply put, Jane was trained to be a perfect girl, and she was taught to love it.

What was wrong with Jane?

Jane was the epitome of nice. Jane was the classic textbook example of the girl next door; charming, demure, a bonny maiden with a beautiful appearance and personality, living a scripted, sterile, storybook suburban life. Jane was a starchild, excelling in everything and anything, always at her best. Jane was sociable, had lots of friends and could easily make new acquaintances. In the morning, among the company of people, she was quite pleasant, a darling sweetheart in the glossed-over, uncrutinising eyes of the faceless neighbours. See Jane greet. See Jane traipse. See Jane dance. See Jane laugh. See Jane wave. See Jane smile. See Jane happy. But alas, that was the full extent of their limited perception. To them, Jane could be summed up in positive words less than three syllables long. They could never see the actual Jane, dark and complicated. They couldn’t glare past the cracks of the well-practised façade, and take a gander at the real version that’s not made of plastic skin and porcelain eyes, refusing to see the truth of the perfect girl that barely sleeps at night. See Jane depressed. See Jane grit her teeth. See Jane scream. See Jane self-harm. See Jane feel empty. See Jane strut mechanically. See Jane do drugs. See Jane muffle her crying on her pillow. See Jane as a complete fucking mess.

What was wrong with Jane?

Jane was taught many things in the course of her short life. Be this, be that, don’t do this, don’t do that, Jane never learned to think for herself. Simply put, Jane was brainwashed to be the perfect girl, and she absolutely hated it. In the end, it was not Jane with the fault, she was only the innocent victim. Rather, it was her guardians, her teachers, who missed a crucial lesson that might have saved Jane from self destruction. For Jane was only taught to exist, but she was never taught to live. Teeming alongside the controversy now, the very same life enveloping death that the multitudinous attendees are currently buzzing with. The haughty crowd, all clad in black garb, then proceeds to judge Jane with whispered huffs, gossiping under thin walls and blabbering behind paper fans hatefully, shaking their heads condescendingly with a chorus of tsk-tsk’s, saying stories and telling tall tales about how Jane was such an amazing girl, it’s such a waste Jane had to go this way, Jane always seemed cheerful and no one ever saw it coming, I remember that one time Jane…, Jane will be missed, nothing but senseless argot and unapologetic bereavement. Today, everyone mourned. But today, everyone also saw an accurate glimpse of Jane for the first time, and unfortunately, for the very last.

See Jane die.

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Throwing Cheap Bouquets by Juliet’s Balcony Stage

Please won’t you push me for the last time
Let’s scream until there’s nothing left
So sick of playing, I don’t want to anymore!
The thought of you’s no fucking fun
You want a martyr, I’ll be one
Because enough’s enough, we’re done!

~*~

Abandoned brains dripping on the cold spiral staircase

My crumpled train station tickets wiped them all away

The nights were as sober as 5 AM Jack on the rocks

Reset reverse repose and smash a hammer on the clock

.

You’re like a spoke in my heart, like nails through my teeth

Let’s slow down the sound of pain, ’cause you taste so sweet

I’m like the chlorine in your skin, like the poison in your cure

Maybe I’ll inject the moonshine once again just to be sure

.

You’ll never see my face in the movies as you always should

But babe it’s tough to dwell on the surface of Hollywood

Endgame of a bloodless artery, and I’m the rebel subsidiary

I’m the heart attack in your nightmares until you wake me

.

Am I confusing? Or complex? Am I the nuclear home you wrecked?

Are you the cannonball that hurtled past and broke clean my neck?

Breaths frosting over glass like a harsh blizzard in the winter

If I’m the martyr dying on a cross, then maybe you’re the sinner

.

You mixed suicide in my bloody scotch and you left me to rot

If I’m jumping off the bridge, then you’re my second thoughts

You’re the puppy crush love and I’m the old dog you put down

You hanged me by my collar in the gallows with a silent frown

.

We were screaming at each other in the most perfect harmony

If you were crying or laughing at the end of the line, I can’t see

You dosed my soul with whiskey and you sang a metal lullaby

And when I passed out from the hate, you crept out, no goodbye

.

So listen, wake the fuck up! Who the hell are you to die on me?

If you’re searching for some peace eternal, then I guess I’m sorry

I wrote your name on my mutated wrists with a blunt safety pin

And the scars on my lips won’t fade away anytime soon, darling

.

So don’t you go away now! Who the fuck are you to fall apart on me?

The razor blades in my throat won’t be swallowed with your fake sorry

This turbulent liquid passion made us crash on the tides and capsize

But if there’s a heaven waiting baby, then it won’t have a place for your lies—!

~*~

You told me think about it, well I did
And I don’t wanna feel a thing anymore
I’m tired of begging for the things that I want
I’m over sleeping like a dog on the floor
Imagine living like a king someday
A single night without a ghost in the walls
We are the shadows screaming take us now
We’d rather die than live to rest on the ground!
Shit.

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Incarcerated

He was tired of everything. He was trapped in a hellish predicament, and he was sickened ad nauseam by being abused by wardens and inmates alike. Today, he was once again thrown into a riot at the cafeteria, stumbling out with a split lip, a sprained arm, and bodily aches all over. But then again, he also managed to pickpocket one of the security guards and smuggle something into his cell, hiding it under his soiled pillow, so the pain didn’t matter anymore. Now, his prize rested patiently within his hands; bullets loaded, safety lock off, muzzle glinting mischievously. His fate was set. It was the first sound he heard, the sound that got him into this shithole, and it would be the last sound he would hear, the sound that will absolve him of all his tribulations. He shut his eyes. His fingers twitched. He pulled the trigger.

BANG.

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A Jailbird’s Last Song

lights out, it’s time to sleep now…

blood on

my tongue and

the bullet

of a cold gun

swimming down

my gullet, but

surprisingly;

demise tastes

much more

pleasant to me,

rather than the

rotting vestige of

the prison cell

walls that

the angels

lock me in to

fester in disease

and insanity

of my damning life

at every waking moment.

…for the lights of hellfire burn eternal.

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Fifty Ways to Die; A Million Ways To Live

I’ll meet you down at the metro station
‘Cause this motherfucker’s got my motivation
Now I’m gonna show you how much I love you
Oh, my magazine is full of ugly things
Don’t need this system, we can kill them if we try
Shoot up everything we see and we’ll find it
On the wall, I hope you die…

~*~

Come on, come on, and take a round at the gun

You can lie to me baby, and say you’re having fun

Come on, come now, steal the burnt Florida lights

If the gas mask doesn’t kill you, then we can start a fight

.

Heartbreaks and drama blaring on the television again

Spread on the media hysteria like chunky blended sin

Synthetic reality production, I’ve never felt more human

The strip clubs, the genocide, a hundred percent and one

.

Juvenile halls festering in the garbage disposal fee

Won’t you pay for my bail, dad? I’d screw you for free

Gagged bullets, and you only got one shot to speak

And the secret is in the bullhorn, that’s the magic trick

.

Progress and fame, I’ve got the lubricants to a landslide win

That perky girl in the centrefold’s a jerk, if you know what I mean

Faith is unavailable in your local hospital vacancy traffic

Billie killed the fucking DJ in the party, so we’ll learn to dance without music

.

Turn the dial on the violence, the TV guide’s uncensored

They show carnal sex onscreen but everyone’s still bored

We’re big boys with small toys in a chest box world here

Exterminate this systematic failure, let the price we pay as fear

.

So come on, come on, show your hand up and play emotions

I’ll encourage your pain and your complete cooperation

So come on, come now, break down the Berlin barrier wall

Detonate like terrorist bombs only if you’ve got the balls

.

Laser beams crisscross a Fortune 500 bastard’s safe locks

Get your latest sycophantic update from Mr. Richbucks

This is the government getaway, and it’s starting to get hot

But don’t take off your clothes yet, you gotta show them what you got

.

Contrite as angel’s ass, a bitch holiest burning in hell

If you need your fix, I’ve got the injection tying off and the spell

Thick as political skulls and thick as blood on the water

Machine guns at the ready, three two one, here comes the slaughter

.

Automatic weapons cocked, antimatter and cigarette packs

Motorcycles and crash test dummies ready for the hack

Mall security ain’t got nothing on the stashed away dope

And we’ve got guts—literally, and the blessing of the pope

.

Recite every reason why you simply don’t give a single damn

Radiation won’t kill us idiots, but loss of common sense can

Left wing, right tail, let the tears dry up the skyscraper and the sun

We’ll murder the sky for ourselves, don’t think, just jump and run!

.

So come on, come on, stick your middle fingers high and proud and tall

That is your personal public apology for making anarchy ideology fall

So come on, come now, where the hell’s your brain in all this bullshit?

Information overload imminent, and we’ll explode as we all sing fuck it!

~*~

Manipulation just to form an alibi
You’re the prototype for me
And if heaven wants us they can…
I hate you, kill everybody!

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Kerberos

Scarlet red, midnight black

Blood intertwining darkness;

A chemical romance resulting in death.

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Vena Amoris

Your wedding ring

Is cutting off your circulation

A blue diamond bling

Accentuating infatuated poison

Your fingers as purple

As the fresh bruises on your neck

If love was an accident

You’re headed for a train wreck

A thin band of silver

Stab your heart and wish to die

Red lines on your skin

If that’s your wish darling, I will try

Consummate turns rancid

Domestic turns into souls recluse

Passion becomes acid

A battle of fists and verbal abuse

On a homely warfield

In sickness and in health alike

That vein pumps blood

But when it finally ceases beating

So will your love.

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Of Detestable Desires and Despicable Devotions

This isn’t fair, no
Don’t you try to blame this on me
My love for you is bulletproof
But you’re the one who shot me…

~*~

I don’t understand any of this.

All this opposite similarity, juxtaposed like faded victorian photos in a chromolithograph pendant, an elegant display of memory destruction. Your perfect contradictions. Your earnest sarcasm. Your subtle noticeability. Your intellectual nonsense. How I fell down towards the sky for you. It’s so confusing.

You’re so confusing.

You were the aspirating medicine that poisoned me into debilitation. You were the rusty nail that pierced my discoloured skin and cured my tetanus. You were the hypodermic injection of the drug that made me so high I began to hit the ground.

You were the disease that saved my life.

You were the shadows that kept me comforted as you beckoned the monsters on. You were the darkness that provided me with light at the end of the hopeless tunnel. You were the lingering dawn that never allows me to catch the faintest glimpse of sunrise.

You were black and white, respectively.

You played the professional doctor while you tore experiments down my wrists and carved notches in my backbones. You stitched my wounds shut as you proceeded to open fresh ones. You were my ravelled bandages, and you left me to bleed out.

You were the death cure that nearly killed me.

I was invincibly bulletproof until you shot me with a guillotine. You were a modern day Midas and you turned my stone heart to gold, but you stubbornly refused to touch your own coalfield chest. You were the concentrated oxygen that asphyxiated me as I inhaled your fumes to breathe suffocation.

You were the safest dangerous thrill.

You were fire, burning empires in angry hate and providing towns incandescence in softest hope. You were water, drowning cold lungs and circulating warm blood. You were earth, burying emaciated corpses underneath with moonlight requiems as efflorescent verdancy pushes upwards to greet the ode of the sun.

You were an element that can build and destroy at the same time.

You were the ministerial soldier in a war who offered me the white flag and bayoneted me in the head as I reached for it. You were the scholarly literature that emptied my mind of all knowledge. You were the coronary-inducing suspense that never left me hanging resolutely.

You were the worst kind of poetry.

You were so singularly ironic that you could cure anaemia. I wanted to explore and extricate your simple complexities, so I can finally solve it and leave your unending mystery alone. You were killing me ever so slowly, making me crave for eternal sleep, so that when I die, I can awake to life.

You were the gravity that made me float, and I can’t pull away.

You were never a singular personality. You were murderer who cries over his victims, a mad scientist reviving the patients she killed, a lunatic lover looking for some sanity in the moon. You were a compassionate sociopath, a sinful saint, a lying candour, an innocent hatred. You were a grotesque beauty, you were eternally ephemeral, you were a cruel god.

You were an impossibility.

Most of all, you were hopelessly incomprehensible. I could research the entire world, ascend above human rationale, learn relentlessly for a thousand years, and yet I can still never begin to comprehend the very thought of you. And you are clever, yes, elegantly clever and yet so barbarously sadistic, my love. You knew I wouldn’t ever understand, I was just like the rest of them, so you walked away from me without a second thought and left me. You left me hurting emotionally and physically, you left me for good, and you left me for dead.

You are despicable beyond measure, and I can never leave you.

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The Calumniation of John Smith and Jane Doe

Let me tell you a story about a boy and a girl
A very different version than you’ve ever heard
Okay, so I’m lying, but all I’m trying to say
This isn’t about the one that got away…

~*~

Let me tell you a story

Of a boy and a girl

One who killed the sunset

The other’s feet curled

Both watched wretched stars

Crash with meteor showers

They licked nectar of the gods

And elucidated powers

Win the matriarchal anarchy

Of the obstreperous race

And the boy and the girl

Were the mascots and the face

And they chased popularity

Like spiders on a web

And anyone who gets caught

Will be devoured and dead

She was the queen bee

He was the screaming lion

They ruled the concrete jungle

With a fist as hard as iron

They solved society’s code

And clambered on other people

With sharp knives and wits

They reached the highest steeple

Forever staying to indulge

Lounging in pecksniffian glam

The boy and girl found bliss

Amidst avariciousness and scams

But their leniency evolved

And the bridges under restless

They began to grow tired

Of withholding the masses

And so their bullets ricocheted

Their crown jewels glinted

Crowds pulled them by their hairs

To obtain what they needed

It turned bloody and carnage

Habituated from vicious attacks

Their downfall shall climax

With a clean suicide pact

The boy with his revolver gun

The girl with her noose and razor

Sitting by the burning castle

“Let’s end this now together.”

But it doesn’t finish that easily

They both survived the dare

He missed his brain by inches

She bled, but only paled fair

One ended up in a hospital ER

Comatose for his existence

The other was thrown in jail cell

To waste away and lose sense

The girl escapes, mad rambling

With some floss and a bent spoon

The boy sleeps, she pulls the plug

“This will all be over soon.”

And this story doesn’t end

With a wedding and happiness

In this version, one gets killed

By the other one’s duress

Let me tell you a story

Of a stupid boy and a foolish girl

This modern Adam and Eve fable

Is no fairy tale for the sober.

~*~

Watch it from your ivory tower
Paint the sky grey, like a coward
How long you’ve got?
I can go on for hours
A sweet little tale that ended sour
My words will ring in your ears…

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