Tag Archives: death

She Owns a Red Cadillac and I Need an Accident

(Here, have a random piss-poor excuse of a “song” that I wrote aeons ago, because why the hell not.)

~*~

I can’t imagine being anywhere else
I can’t imagine being anywhere else but here
How the hell did you ever pick me?
Honestly, I could sing you a song
But I don’t think words can express your beauty
It’s singing to me, how the hell did we end up like this?
You bring out the beast in me…

~*~

It was the best day of our lives

Until you decided to run away

Into the highway velocity, a blood-beat wife

It’s the same old routine today

.

My bridal girl, your seatbelt’s fraying

In gasoline tears, your dress is melting

But don’t you cry too fast now

The road’s too slippery for a row

.

Hit another skid, another dancing kid

(I’m tired, I’m tired, I’m fucking tired!)

The path is twisting, I’m getting rid

(Too busy fighting, fucking watch out!)

.

You passed out again from pressing on your bruises

In silken sheets and raining scarlet roses

We’ll save you! We’ll save this

Affair, a tragedy for the intensive care unit

.

Kill me, kiss me again

With both my hands on the steering wheel

It’s more fun to die with both eyes wide shut

So don’t let me miss the thrill

.

Yellow headlights illuminate

Another fractured heart

And shattered glass against the monitor

A beat that won’t restart

.

(Crash! Crash! Cause a pileup on the intersection!

Red! Lights! Call an ambulance, fucking call 911!)

.

You passed out again from coddling your concussion

In the backseat staining sodas and cold emotions

They’ll save you! But can’t save this

Affair, a casualty for the backdoor morgue cemeteries

.

Wipe away the spit that’s fermenting on the windshield

This is the beginning of an ending of a road trip tour that failed

I’m just a pedestrian and you ran me over and out

But I got hit so hard, I lost my sense and twisted my mouth!

.

Let’s be honest, this turnpike romance was never gonna work

I guess you’re just a bad driver now and I’m the jerk…

.

(Confiscate my licence, hit the brakes now!)

.

You blacked out again and you never wanna wake up

This turbulence in California won’t have a gas station stop

I’ll save myself! I’ll save this acceleration

A passenger seat left empty come the overtaking horizon.

.

(Crash! Crash! These hearts are colliding, we’re in motion!

Red! Lights! Don’t call 911, we’re about to have fun!)

~*~

It goes to show, I hope that you know that you are
What my dreams are made of
Can’t fall asleep, can’t fall asleep
I lay in my bed awake, in my bed awake at night…

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Saving my Sleep for the Sirens

The frame, the friction
It’s the reason that we all become aware
And we change for no reason
Some say it’s better to fall asleep and disappear
It’s time we finally look at what we’ve done
And wake up…

~*~

I cannot sleep, this haunt persisted to stay

I need a hand here to suffocate my throat

Lie, otherwise I won’t have another today

Amidst arctic isles and glaciers I will float

.

Don’t they know that’s all I dream about?

Perhaps I am just too ambitious to forget

Say I’m right, indulged in septic fantasies

Teetering at the edge of a cliff over death

.

But my jealous mind is pushing me farther

I couldn’t dissolve my nightmares, after all

Standing with my back against the red sun

And screaming, I have never felt more tall

.

I am another thought that lacerates skins

If you bleed out because of me, so let it be

Seeking an escape, the exit sign’s blinding

And I’m chasing circles away from misery

.

I am slipping out, my foothold is unstable

Through rain and ashes, I bathe in debris

Threads unravelling of stitches miserable

I cannot fall from touch, never sedentary

.

I’ve wished for a dollar that I won’t be rich

They call me insane, but that’s the way it is

The point I try to make is never transparent

But the light from my lies makes it apparent.

~*~

So here we are, we’re waiting for a fall
And on the radio they’re calling on satellites
Like they’re going to save us all…

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wingless

the fall

was just another

excuse for me

to attempt to fly

and if that

doesn’t work, then

i won’t lose

anything when i die.

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Eternal Paradise and Heaven Beyond the Veil

“I’m not meant for this world, I just don’t see the point…don’t think about it, don’t overthink about it.”

~*~

Beyond everything else I ever learned

As the blanketed flames writhed and burned

A heart and a home under their siege

Must they conjure nightmares, my liege?

.

Glass eyes shattering with bated breaths

Scent of redolent perfume and elegant regrets

Listen to the rain falling in lethal shards

This parade was neverending from the start

.

Ghosts pulled away from their resting place

Labyrinths and dead ends, I’m trapped in a maze

My hands are cold and my skin is lifeless

For every transgression I have yet to confess

.

So undress my lungs, uncover my secrets

Your bare naked spine won’t ever try to forget

Terror and beauty’s ripped apart from the pain

Another silver ring tarnished to remain

.

My intentions were obtuse and reasons perpendicular

I never thought we would ever come this far

And you stalled the light of your car headlights

To prepare the blind for the eternal nights

.

Drag me behind your chain as I laugh and you miss

My broken bones dangling over an ocean abyss

For all the friends we fought for and ones we gave up

A bleeding battle wound that has yet to stop

.

Cry as you destroy my remaining insanity

Save yourself and I’ll hold myself back, maybe

I say it’s time to call it quits and just run

There’s an ulterior motivation behind this smoking gun

.

Abandoned worlds colliding with the stars I left

And how dare your sempiternal soul for fracturing itself

A perfect thing to ruin as it sucks the colour

I’m divine yet not fine, for this cancer lasts forever

.

Signals of lust sign under jagged-edged rocks

Rage beneath the silken sheets ceasing the noisy clocks

I’m stained and trained to live alone, bother me not

On my arm, your lipstick leaves a bruised spot

.

Count the million train tracks we walked to find another horizon

You stole my sight as I blinked once, so please kill my vision

We’ll learn to die alone darling, separated in our own company

And we will dream of the paradise that a hurt heaven won’t provide me.

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The Backyard Boneyard

In the backyard where stars are buried

The moonlight’s dim, no spectres solid

Black bats avoid the sharp razor trees

And maggots festered under disease

.

Hell awaits, encased in cold grey stones

From coffins of red and velvet bones

The devils bartering souls for sale

Salvation was but a fairy tale

.

Lost souls vie for their damnable fates

Pray to saints only when it’s too late

Decaying like fruits, plucked rancid fair

Monstrosity farm, ripeness they bear

.

Centuries pass, generations chime

Can’t turn back the decomposing time

Ghosts fed to minds to lead them astray

Again the cycle completes its prey

.

Cemeteries of death and roses

Existences gone with no losses

In the backyard where stars are buried

The moonlight’s lost in shadows solid.

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Filed under Fixed Poetry, Poetry

Beasts, Burning, Bloodshed

I’m keeping the monsters warm

With my own blood and self-harm

They lick away every sedition

Ripping apart each single conniption

.

Teeth like carved metal tetanus

Dark with every slurring and cuss

As alcohol shuts down the bane

Intensifying the numb of the pain

.

Another fucking demon to encounter

My own control I couldn’t conquer

Sucking away all the shades and colour

Until all there is to do is surrender

.

Black roses thrive by the grave

Of just another nameless great escape

Damnation’s all there is to save

Again and again, my sanity is raped

.

The sulphur blister and brimstone bite

As solemn shadows devoured the night

Death decreases my chances to survive

But these feral beasts are keeping me alive.

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distract//destruct

i need distractions

to get me through

another damn day

in heaving my guts,

choking on oxygen,

and bleeding plays

i need distractions

so the chagrin will

stay the fuck away

if the pain doesn’t

work, then maybe

dying’ll have its way.

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Dornröschen

Your direction two steps I take quietly, you lay motionless; you were asleep
Paralysed, realised, I’m so cowardly, I despise myself for being so weak
Lights appear like the wind they’ve escaped my grasp; illusion, or the real thing?
Though this silence is impossible to surpass…my song for you, I’m singing!

~*~

Mute song soundwaves under the glass

Winds of illusion and desert sands pass

Your encased tears washes over a wave

Crashing consequences, a smile I crave

.

Despite regrets, I leapt past like a wren

Both hands are numb from flying again

My fallen ideals paralysed the unspoken

I’ll burn my throat and drown in chlorine

.

Breaths of briar thorns, awake under moonlight

Silver crown impaled on frail skin and midnight

Angel blonde and devil red, cursed of needle kiss

In a castle of clandestine shadows, deserted bliss

.

Can you hear me sing under the hazy ocean currents?

Pulled away into the depths of an unescapable dream

Graceful curtains dancing, flimsy like a lullaby meant

I know you’re still there, calling out my name, listening

.

Northern lights colliding against silence underground

As you lie past the fray, where you can never be found

Faint and asleep, as time ebbs and crystallises in snow

My heart ceases to find a garden where roses never grow.

~*~

Your voice whispers my name
My silent call, falls so faint
The still past, it will not change
Time just won’t slow down…

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escapism

i’ll climb

out of my skull

and attend

my own wake

i’ll die just

to live once again

if that meant

a temporary escape.

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Doses of Quintessence: Verseuchen

~*~

WELTSCHMERZ

There’s a constricting tug-of-war within my heart

Arteries painfully pulling veins against my blood

Desperate to gain the upper hand for my emotions

But both end up losing, falling, and covered in mud.

~*~

SCHADENFREUDE

That’s a goddamn stripclub travesty

Dear, not my suicide bedroom scene

So don’t break in a fucked soliloquy

That’ll break this automatic machine.

~*~

SEHNSUCHT

Nothing but demarcation on magnanimous affairs

The indisposition scurrilous of a conniption share

If I commiserate my pretense for synaptic humans

Will they hold my head under to inject tryptophan?

~*~

MUTTERSEELENALLEIN

I repudiated my own self-blames

I’ll shut the closet, elucidate this game

If I emancipate my bastard whim

Shall it be considered a cavalcade sin?

~*~

ANSTÜRMEN

Calamity, that’s my designated appellation’s lacklustre

I’m a raging typhoon tantrum, an unmitigated disaster

I wreck lives, dishevel memories, or command discord

So stay away from me, I can ruin you with mere words.

~*~

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