Tag Archives: dedication

An Artist’s Love

may it be piano

or a guitar, i’ll

play it for you

may it be a pen

or quill, i’ll write

unfettered true

no matter how

many fingers i

break or bruise,

for you my dear

i’ll endure every

blister and callous.

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SoCal

It’s the little things

For whimsicalities

In silly pink strings

With funny stories

On local reminisce

And tour bus hey’s

Amused memories

Scattered in space

Shared ecstatically

In colourful affairs

Tattooed in pastels

Of Key Street wear

Childhood brothers

Hardships and fun

All crazy as drunks

The boys in a band

It’s the little things

That lasts for while

It’s their happy days

That makes me smile.

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This means war, sweetheart

“Every single door in this house is on FIRE!!!”

~*~

I’m in agony over how

You just constantly

Abuse your privilege

And stab razors in

My throat; yes, the

Very ones you stole

From me last night,

While I slept wasted.

I hate your words,

Your putrid tongue

That doesn’t speak

The language of

Originality, somehow

Speaking of holes

And roses and

Pretty fucking proses

In imitated neurosis

And you reckon

You’re so damn cool

When you’re the jack

Playing the fool

And if you’re gonna

Be pretentious

As all abrasive hell,

Then fuck it, at least

Learn how to spell.

Why do you make

Me despise you

So much, then pull

My heart away with

The beat of a miracle?

You threw first punch

But you hit yourself

And blacked out

Your own perspectives

You are impossible

But somehow I read

Every toss of your

Androgynous wink

You can’t fool the

Ones who don’t think.

But don’t take it away

Don’t take the injections

That sedate me from

This lifeless corpse

Named reality…..

They’re mine, goddammit

So don’t make me hate

What I fucking love,

Don’t let me live so you

Could kill me slow,

Don’t ruin victory and

Misery and SoCal lifelines

Singing for me now…

You can’t be that harsh.

You can’t be that insane.

Surely, you can’t be that stupid.

You won’t understand me

You were never too clever

But hear me out again

Damn it, won’t you listen?!

I may talk too much

But bitch please,

You breathe too much,

So I guess we’re all

Peachy and even now

Even though you’re

Still stepping on my toes

With a fist worthy sneer

Chanting la-dee-fucking-da;

But that’s fucking fine

I’ll concede your asininity

…Time remaining.

So get your knife out

Of my jugular now,

Cross a busy highway

And fucking eat shit

And excuse me while

I go and throw up,

‘Cause you make me

Feel so fucking s-i-c-k.

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SD|CA

daily distractions

of california boys

with a guitar noise

and detonated toys

.

daily distractions

in explosive chords

from tijuana nerds

and rock god lords

.

nightly distractions

of punk scene songs

texan girls night long

concerts rightly wrong

.

nightly distractions

in faint lyrical binges

and acoustical tinges

and san diego fringes.

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[th]ink spill

the concept

of you

consumes

my pen

i bite the nib

and the

ink throws up

again.

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My Maiden of Lena

It was there in the winter, bleak and quite bitter

My maiden of Lena rested her heart

From her star studded hair to her very skin fair

Her purple eyes seek another restart

Under branches of Saturn she weaved soft her cavern

My maiden of Lena conceived fresh nights

Where the seas send their tide and no gravity abides

Her clasping hands captured faerie lights

Oh, humility endure, for her soul was too pure

My maiden of Lena tempted the beasts

Tragedy to cure! Must the Seraphs be too sure?

Her tiring legs carried her to the feast

Now lay she serene mourned in rosemary and naphthalene

My maiden of Lena sings lullabies

Her rested heart glows a feverish sheen, gone my innocent queen

Her fading lips whispered a lost goodbye.

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H.appiness, E.nergy, L.ove, P.assion, ME.

Did someone turn the lights out
Or is it just another dark cloud in my head?
Cause I’m cut deep, my heart won’t beat
Deep down low it’s killing me
If I wanna scratch out yesterday
I’ve got so much I need to say…

~*~

Just how can you stop the loaded weapon

From being pulled, when the hair trigger

Is your own rapidly palpitating heart?

Oh shut up me, you don’t know any better,

But you wished that you did from the start.

Plastering hard concrete on your visage

To permanently solidify your playacted role

As the beast inside you sharpens its razor teeth

Screeching against your sandpaper rough soul

And those blinded idiots never quite knew

The shit storm you were really going through

Never saw that your mannequin plastic smile

Was too perfect, just too happy to be real

Calculated and practised to be worthwhile

That it radiates the hatred that you truly feel

And it’s killing you, you’re so sick of the disease

You’re weak, spineless, an apathetic neurotic

So damn useless, bitter as the coffee you dismiss

How can one be paralysed by being pathetic?

But hell, it’s just a stupid phase, isn’t it?

Can’t concern mom and dad with my bullshit

It’s just an angst desperation, demon arms race

Can’t bother my friends with the problems I face

Trying to convince yourself you won’t choke

As you wipe fingerprints off your bruised throat

Suffocation of a rapid fire oxygen evacuation

I’m happy, I’m happy, can’t you see my emotion?

The lights of the stars burrow under the moon

The shadows infect you with regal monster gloom

Glass exhibits of your blank face in the museum

They stuff and capture you, put you in the tomb

Another day of read lines, red lines on the wall

You don’t break your fall when that curtain falls

I’m not alone…I’m not alone…but…I’m lonely

I’m fighting, I’m fighting, and I’m losing badly.

And you raise your lacerated blue wrists again

Praying to the charcoal dark smoke of heaven

But the inky-black blood that is raining down

Is never enough for you to completely drown

Your voice splinters as you choke on your laugh

Judgement glaring through, you try to keep it up

But it’s not enough at all, no, it’s never enough…

No, you’re just never fucking enough.

~*~

I think I need help
Cause I’m drowning in myself
It’s sinking in, I can’t pretend
That I ain’t been through hell
I think I need help
I’m drowning in myself.

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Perforar el Velo

D-d-d-darker now
Kicked out and sleeping in your car
You roll the window down
Enough to dream and make-believe
Our lights knocked out
Turned upsidedown
I’m just a stupid motherfucker
Can’t figure it out…

~*~

Your chainsaw voice tears me apart

The beat in my dead system, it restarts

Raw soul flirting with the ocular lens

Until nothing anymore makes any sense

Dark chocolate kisses sent back to hell

You’re the light at the end of the brick well

Smash your instruments into innocence

Declarative imperatives doused on defence

Tattoos on my wrists, piercings on blades

Like a chemical rush, like a mechanical tirade

Hoodies black as thunder, caps snapped back

Ready for misadventures, impulsive attacks

I wanna run away to visit homesick San Diego

Let my broken legs carry me back to Mexico

I wanna feel every coldest sting of your hate

And retreat in a wasteland alone to detonate

Let’s tour the world with your open hearts

If I have to leave it all, then I would still depart

I just wanna be a part of your wasted laughter

And then find myself drunk as all hell later

I’m as slow as a turtle, as graceless as a giraffe

Prickly like a hedgehog, a monkey with a gaffe

You don’t trap me in menagerie, where I belong

Instead you make me feel human with your songs

Colliding selfish shamrock against coal blue skies

So send the vultures away, please go away to lie

Pesticides and gasolines no longer in my drink

Bullet breaths no longer hazy, and clearer I think

I know I’m not talented and I’m not charismatic

And I simply have a damn flair for the dramatic

But someday, I’ll punch life first and I’ll make it

It’s your faithed eyes persuading me to break it

I’ll sell my tears as bail, and I beg please don’t let me fail

And I’d rather die with you than to leave a fresh blood trail

You are the singular reason why my devil wings can still fly

And darling if I had you, then fuck, I wouldn’t ever need to cry.

~*~

So now we’re gonna chase the moon like fire
Together we can fake our own deaths here
Just wanna be alone and watch as
You all just disappear—oh no!
Just wanna be alone and watch…

Why can’t we be alone and watch?

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Childhood Plays

Your giggles

Of a childish mirth

Your chuckles

Continuously worth

Its innocence

Contagious to the

Blackest soul

As I just find myself

Also laughing

For no reason at all

Which delights

Your joy even more

We end up in

Cycles of jubilance

And silliness

Benevolence sublime

Tickle sessions

Of a cynic and a child

A baby playtime

And I can feel my heart

Smiling along

Without hesitating pain

As your pure love

Takes away all the strain

Of my darker days.

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Vincent’s Starry Night

Starry, starry night
Paint your palette blue and grey
Look out on a summer’s day
With eyes that know the darkness
In my soul…

~*~

Vincent, the lost pastel colours, they forgot to light your golden stars tonight

Brush strokes faltering and swirling on your ceiling, a tapestry of navy sights

Vincent, you were simply complicated to fool the monsters within from the start

Your artistic chagrin and tortured soul kept ripping your palette emotions apart

.

Vincent, they all laughed at you and they mocked away such a beautiful mind

But if the madness was your universe, who knows what dimensions we can find?

Vincent, you fathomed yourself a disgrace, deemed creations amount to nothing

They all stumbled in your labyrinthine mind, and thus resorted to insipid excoriating

.

Vincent, now you’re gone, and the village mourns for a sun extinguished too soon

You watch them above as you paint the landscapes, reminiscing on the blue moon

Vincent, you were always a warm summer sunflower, and my quaint antebellum art

They may not have truly understood you, but you have always rekindled my hazy heart.

~*~

And when no hope was left in sight
On that starry, starry night
You took your life, as lovers often do
But I could’ve told you Vincent
This world was never meant for
One as beautiful as you…

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