Tag Archives: deep

going, going, gone

Why does it feel like home when I’m lonely?
I always found on the solid ground
I was tripping away from space and time
I don’t really mind that I’m slipping…

~*~

would they notice

if my eyes faded away

and i lost my way

to the beckoning light?

the constructed highways

and hanging bridges

i still have to traverse are

too treacherous for my feet

and i can’t drag it out

watch me fight back

my shoulders straining to

remove the weight of the world

from its teetering blades

and yet i fell off the balance

waiting for the end of hell

in the beginning of the creation

closing my open heart

in this faceless underwater

i’ll feel anxiety again if i resurface

so i’ll embrace the cold and let

myself sink peacefully

all the way to the bottom

soothing the burns in my tongue

and the wait that manifests

saying i’ll jump off if i’m far too lost

and no one could come with me

to the deepest end of nowhere

where no one could reach my hand

and pull me back again

into the chaos they call home

who knows if i could still return

maybe i’ll just disappear for a while

after all, no one would notice.

~*~

We could disappear for a while
We could disappear if we’re going far away
It’s not running away, we were never meant to stay
In the first place, we could disappear for a while…

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Places In My Veins

I’ll lower your body down into an open grave 
And let the vultures have their way with you
We’ll take you by surprise and spill your blood like wine
Scarlet stains upon the flesh will end the night…

~*~

There’s a place for my pulse

Somewhere within my wrists

But no matter how hard I try

I can’t figure out where it is

.

I’ll rest my head in a sea of nightmares

And drown looking for a sweeter dream

I’ll marry a liar just to find out the truth

High on the promise, low on self-esteem

.

And the haze is piercing my blacktop heart

Latent vortex swirling in a negative universe

Rotting with the blindness that I call my eyes

Hides the blood of another paralysing curse

.

There’s a place for the vaguer beat of my soul

Somewhere under my skin, between my wrists

But no matter how many deep incisions I make

I simply can’t seem to find it; does it even exist?

~*~

Everything you say rings hollow
But you will tell your stories again and again
Sell your half-truths with a smile
Take and inject it, inject it!

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More or Less

Tell me that you’re done looking for love
‘Cause your heart can’t take it
You say you’re better off alone

I say you need somebody new
It’s killing me to be this close
I’m right here in front of you…

~*~

I could tell, it’s more than just another pang

Another star filling up your empty universe

It’s more than the transient flicker of a firefly

Another synaptic beat in your dancing blood

.

If it’s worth the risk, then just tell me please

Swallow a mouthful of nails for a single kiss

As the idle bitter lullabies disturbed my sleep

And it’s freaking me out, think I’m in too deep

.

Because it’s more than just another oblique lie

Another dark cigarette burn marking your skin

It’s more than just another targeted hit and miss

And you know how it goes, we’re more than this.

~*~

I wanna be more than this, oh
I got it bad for you
I’m thinking you’re worth the risk, so
Tell me what I gotta do
We could stay high, we could lay low
I would do anything but let go…

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inhale

deep breaths

are supposed to be calming

like a soothing balm

an emollient for oneself

.

but somehow it

just braces me for the quick

sharp exhales of the

oncoming pain.

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somniloquy

pastel laughter, petals of umber

lip-gloss stains and sweet december

.

brick wall steps, stepping stones

withering glares, i contemplate alone

.

seven mysteries i don’t dare speak

magicians fleet in magic tricks

.

intervals lead to cyanide infinity

trapped in a loop of tangible vanity

.

tasting alcohol and numbing smiles

maybe i’ll stay here for a while

.

midnight calm and oceans deep

i’ll keep my thoughts in the morning

and talk in my sleep.

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shallow

sure, just keep

on digging 

my own

fucking grave

after all,

just how any

more lower

can i even

fucking get?

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metal & skin (xxiv.)

one cut

a weaker beginning, but you’re just starting

three cuts

that’s the charm, as searing pain is settling

five cuts

is that all you can take? is that all you can take?

seven cuts

how much, how much more can you make?

ten cuts

easy, over, and out, it’s like riding a bike now

fifteen cuts

it’s all a distant, tranquilising blur somehow

twenty cuts

you have reached your own personal record

twenty-two cuts

and went past it; dare you break the accord?

twenty-six cuts

it’s a complete mess of blood and medicine

thirty cuts

too numb to give a fuck, you ceased caring

thirty-three cuts

your arm’s as pale as your cotton blanket

thirty-eight cuts

maybe you’ve crossed the line, but screw it

forty cuts

so indulged, and you just can’t fucking stop

forty-four cuts

because you know it will never be enough

forty-nine cuts

for it’s not really the quantity that matters

fifty cuts

but just how fucking far you dare to go deeper.

fifty-one cuts and counting…

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Cheap Cancer For Exclusive Humanity

Oh, give me a break you deluded, ill-informed, self-serving prick
If you really believe in the words that you preach
Get off your screens, and onto the streets
There will be no peaceful revolution! No war without blood!
You can say I’m just a fool, that stands for nothing!

~*~

It’s a mindless transaction

For the ones in creation

They think you’ll warm the cold

But everyone wants to change the world

It’s questionable

Everyone’s too cynical

And too miserable

And too in love with the concept

To change for respect

But don’t you love the drama?

The little girls filled with paranoia?

The boys injecting heroin

A systematic failure of clever machines

No one’s wide awake

We’re all sleepwalking on a tightrope

With bloodshot eyes shut

Pretending to believe in hope

But while we’ll all here

Where nothing’s transparent or clear

Let’s swallow reality’s bullshit

And make the most out of it

The sweet melodrama

The crippling asthenia

The jerks in your bed

All the cunts you wish dead

Let them sing

Let them sing

Let them sing…

You couldn’t do a goddamn thing!

.

We’re all too fucked to care

Busy with what to wear

If their makeup is on straight

Or if the bastards are staying up late

Corrupted bodies

Lying in wasteland sceneries

As drunk as blowflies

As sober as their endless lies

And the sun won’t stay

To witness their rapid decay

Hallelujah, baby

You won’t live to see another day!

It’s an arrogant escape

We’re selfishly murdering for our sake

But we succumb and give in

Just to drown in our sins

To the ways of the crooked

The drink of the dead

Surrender the blood on your hands

No one will understand

The happiness

That don’t exist

We’re all a mess

We’re fucking sick

We’re falling in sin

We’re falling in sin

We’re falling in sin…

You couldn’t do a goddamn thing!

.

So go the fuck to hell

I’ll be there soon in fifteen

Angels don’t live to tell the tale

Of the genocide scene

Humanity be damned to heaven

We all cheat and say it’s even

Nothing is fucking fair

Burn in the fires of disrepair

Shadows come to whisper

Your demise in a bruise and blister

I’m waiting for the finale

The asylum’s about to go crazy

It’s almost blandly pathetic

This modern-age love is synthetic

But this disease and chaotic

Sounds grotesquely symphonic

A perfectly flawed design

To steal what can never be mine

And if this is what eternity is

Then paradise must reek of shit and piss!

The cheap mentality

Of human rationality

We’re all so sedentary

You ain’t so special, honey

The walls are caving in

The walls are caving in

This world is caving in…

But fucking shut up and give in

Bitch, you couldn’t do a goddamn thing!

(Shit.)

~*~

United, we’ll fail, divided, we’ll fall, united, we’ll fail
We’re fucked, but you’re making it worse!
Middle fingers up, if you don’t give a fuck!
I’m sick to death of swallowing every single thing I’m fed
Middle fingers up, if you don’t give a fuck!
You think you’re changing anything?
Question everything!

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Death is a Butterfly in a Mason Jar

For death is something

That cannot be caught in butterfly nets

And kept trapped in glass jars

Death cannot be locked by time alone

Its shadowy wings must flutter

Like ashes through smoke

And search for a breath to steal

As it cannot create its own, only pilfer

Death suckles on nectar tears

Sweet to its palate as it is bitter to mortals

Indulge in soft, exquisite decay

Within the lost garden of perennial grief

All before its delicate withering skin

Touches upon an unfortunate fragile falling chest

And suffocates it with gossamer light

Until ceases it to rise once more

Death is beauty and darkness intertwined

Like a balloon string entangled on a white rose stem

Or blood on a stained glass window

Not all can appreciate its grotesque sensibility

As they fear for their mortality

They simply fail to view past the thin veil

To reveal a nurturing, solitary entity

For death is lone, but it must never be lonely

A heart to bring, one soul to reap

For death must always carry one life

Before it takes away its own.

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high octa[n/v]e

your

screaming

notes

of a

wasteland

voice

lulls

me

into a

much

deeper

sleep,

onto a

more

sweeter

dream.

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