Tag Archives: defeat

A Thousand Footsteps Away

Am I following too close?
Or am I right where I’m supposed to be?
Am I a million miles away?
Or am I so close I can almost reach?
Did I do it to myself?
Or did I really mean what I believe?

~*~

I’d leave a thousand times

And promise secrets I don’t intend to keep

Leave me alone in the valleys of ache

I will sing my drowning demons to sleep

.

I’d leave a thousand times

And swear to god I won’t pray anymore

Let me be to fester in my bloodstains

Like that mattered to you at all

.

I’d leave a thousand times

To retrace what was never there

When home was just a concept

And the white walls were once bare

.

I’d leave a thousand times

And speak about this infinite silence

When the doves come cooing back

I’m motionless in my presence

.

I’d leave a thousand times

And smile a smile that’s all teeth

This isn’t an ordinary cause for celebration

Let’s raise broken glasses at my defeat

.

I’d leave a thousand times

And say the lies I’ll hold to be true

Maybe this time the retreat will be short

And the release would be from me to you

.

I’d leave a thousand times

Just to come find myself again

If the raging undertows pull me under

Who knows what I’ll discover.

~*~

All I ever wanted was the blinding
Because all I ever saw was just a name
And all I ever wanted was to find it
It’s time, I finally know just what it means
To go off the rails, to go off the rails…

Advertisements

Leave a comment

Filed under Poetry

Terrors in Unseemly Whispers

The spirits of the dead, who stood
In life before thee, are again
In death around thee, and their will
Shall overshadow thee; be still…

~Spirits of the Dead; Edgar Allan Poe

~*~

Upon such terrors that haunt thy endeavours

The whispers that appear evanescent forever

For the pendulum that struck the beating heart

Of the pit in the tomb that dares to intend a part

.

Where does thy mind lie upon the whereabouts

Of clean sanity and conscience driven by doubt?

Nightmares that proceed to take turns every night

A magnanimous beast that thou have yet to fight

.

The foe with eyes that glint sharply upon thy trysts

In a labyrinthine path lies a gorgon after every twist

Steel thy nerves, freeze thy blood, pray to thy angels

That heaven mayn’t bless parlance on a chasmic well

.

And if you defeat and crush the blade upon thou heel

Might such a fair victory alleviate the terrorising feel?

Shall those nights of shadows be buried in sarcophagus

Or is the grave far too shallow to emancipate the rebus?

.

So be wary of the ancient fright intertwining coldly in thy bones

Thus such a scare is undeniable, chiseled on cracked headstones

For upon the nevermore terrors that haunt thy fallible endeavour

The grim whispers turned to gruesome horrors shall abide forever.

Leave a comment

Filed under Poetry

A Mouse in the Kingdom of Lions

All eyes on me, castles falling
Glory, glory, I’ll rise like a one man army
I don’t wanna die without living
I can’t fight without winning
All eyes on me, I’ll rise like a one man army…

~*~

In these destroyed ruins I stand in eulogy, beating the drum

For the voice of dead angels and the harps left unstrummed

Corrupted blood rains down in blizzards of prideful torrents

This efficacious fight’s dishonour gradually refusing to relent

.

So proclaim me wrong, devour this bravery to the starving wolves

For deceit and manipulation is the singular truth I’ll boldly uphold

Attention wrought to the tumultuous voices of the silent anarchists

Uncivil battles engaging against the flames of the contrite arsonists

.

Was thus my gullible sin? Have I persuaded concentric fools yet again?

Dost I have to beg mocking demons just to return to my fallen Heaven?

False, it exists only within old locked towers, behind walls of a fantasy

Hell is a decadent salvation, the final hour’s reverence and only mercy

.

Shards of glass cruelly beleaguering my gregarious scars and wounds

Forgiveness as unforgiving as the darker repasts of the eclipsed moon

The dagger I hold is a facsimile of my humble chivalrous restorations

I’m but another violent visionary rejecting sheer valiance of perdition

.

So reap my damaged soul, for it’s already damned in sacrificial benevolence

And such tempest has defied my will, as it pilfered my crumbling innocence

Yet I shall raise my poisoned sword, nay to my chest, but to my heavy chains

In this kingdom of a wasteland I have created, only the defeated shall remain.

~*~

Even when we’re lost
It doesn’t have to mean we’re losing
I will overcome if I fight now, right now
Never fear, never fall, never giving up
‘Til you give me what I came for
I’m through with all the time I’ve wasted
Battle stations…

Leave a comment

Filed under Poetry

Firestorms and Rainblaze

Tinctures of firedust

Smouldered soft in my ashen tongue

As my bulletproof ribs

Didn’t withstand your volatile storm

It melted away sullenly

Invisible shadows danced on my lips

Warning me of a secret

I caution in my effervescent heart to keep.

Leave a comment

Filed under Poetry

Nameless Nemesis

The sticks and the stones that
You used to throw have
Built me an empire, so don’t even try
To cry me a river, ’cause I forgive you
You are the reason I still fight…

~*~

Wicked witch of the West

The egotistical red queen

Captain Hook, grimy pest

A slimy dream saccharine

.

The acrid poison you spit

Methanes on your tongue

The cold toxic you secrete

Shall be your bad outcome

.

On your charmless veneer

Tortured dark sensibilities

In distasteful doses of fear

A lost cause for humanities

.

You scar me and mar me

With penchant for defeat

Bore holes past my skull

Lay hellfire upon my feet

.

Degrade my capabilities

To reject my testimonies

You think you’re glorious

And quite sanctimonious

.

But your haunting words

Shall revert to your curse

Your reign upon the world

Will crumble and disperse

.

And I’ll be standing strong

Wayward heart and thorns

Raise a sword upon the air

Victory cheer ringing clear

.

Your armies of sticks, stones

Shall add to build my throne

My wounds, burnt-up bones

Shows I survived your scorn

.

Soon you’ll be homely crushed

Banished to a bleak underland

Devoured by ravenous reptiles

Vanish with a flick of the wand

.

But dear, no need to beg and grovel

A chagrin hapless irrefutable defeat

After all, your karma, it’s never well

You are the reason why I still believe.

~*~

So you can throw me to the wolves!
Tomorrow I will come back
Leader of the whole pack
Beat me black and blue!
Every wound will shape me
Every scar will build my throne.

Leave a comment

Filed under Poetry

Rodin’s Curse

if overthinking

is a sin—

grave and

immoral,

then i’ll be

burning

in the

seventh circle

of hell…

but then

again,

with this

affliction

haunting me,

i’m already

familiar

with the

sensation

of damnation,

so might

as well.

Leave a comment

Filed under Poetry

M O N S T E R × r e t s n o m

Turn away
If you could get me a drink of water
‘Cause my lips are chapped and faded
Call my Aunt Marie
Help her gather all my things
And bury me in all my favourite colours…

~*~

V.) MEDICINE × enicidem

Lying in limpid stasis, comatosed on a cold hospital gurney

As the sterile figures are wheeling me in, onto my last journey

Doctors with white angel wings, armed with swords of scalpel

Slashing away at the indomitable monster my body hid so well

.

Blast liquid radiation, intakes of chemo, concentrated vials

Dialysis emptying my veins, and attempting useless trials

A diagnosed creature transforming, stage 4 metastasised

As everyone glances at me sadly with glossy pitying eyes

.

So take away all the coloured calendars and the clocks that mockingly tick

Counting the seconds, hours, moments, all the years that I can never keep

Turn off the machines, disconnect my wires, I won’t be needing any longer

I’m ready to accept my ultimate fate, for I know now that I will be stronger

.

X.) MEMORY × yromem

Reminiscing our faded memoirs, on a dessicating ancient diary

Writ in intervals of ink, blood, love, our accrued stolen memories

Spending afternoons in the butterfly garden, tales of you and me

Living out with childish mirth, our own secret Mary Lennox fantasy

.

Writing out last wills and trembling letters of false painful assurance

To uncle John and Aunt Mary, to all my relatives first and secondary

I’ll miss you, loved ones, but you’ll forget me once you collect insurance

Keep my soul in your thoughts as you enjoy my unexperienced itinerary

.

Pack away all my things, store my belongings in a strong mulberry box

Those framed photos of mine on the mantelpiece, carefree and relaxed

Their quaint presents, trinkets, clover leaves, constellations for good luck

Keep them now carefully, for I won’t be needing any of them all that much

.

L.) MOURN × nruom

Make my image come to life again, make me beautiful, Mr. Mortician

Powder my gaunt, pallid complexion, make it a flourishing pink and fair

Dress me up in your finest silk and cotton habiliments, Mr. Mortician

And try to save what little you can from my raining withered haybale hair

.

Carry away my coffin into a cathedral solemnly, be bereft and lament me

Let the choir boys sing a melancholy requiem for the girl I’ll never marry

Rain down the roses, parting crowds like Moses, drowning on a red sea

Etch an epitaph on my tombstone, a final word of William Blake’s literary

.

Proclaim all the good things I’ve done right with my scanty epoch life

In my sepulchre, chisel my marble memorial with a dulled rusty knife

Hate me and berate me as you cremate me, a final prayer for your loss

A light drizzle of ashfall, leave me now in peace, to be buried, to repose

.

C.) MORTALITY × ytilatrom

Remember me, remember my name

Don’t you forget our whimsical days

Perhaps I’ll find a better home

In a field of crumbling gravestones

So goodnight for now, my dear

Don’t you cry such wasted tears

Maybe someday I’ll be back here

Smiling, none the worse for wear

.

Remember me, remember my pain

Don’t you forget me, lest I fade away

Perhaps there’s a blissful heaven

When the pendulum strikes eleven

So goodnight for now, my dear

This is goodbye for now, I fear

‘Cause this is when I disappear

Promise me someday you’ll meet me there.

~*~

My sisters and my brothers, still I will not kiss you
‘Cause the hardest part of this is leaving you…

Leave a comment

Filed under Poetry

A Covetous Call Of Clarity

Just like a tick, I’m itching the back of your throat
You miss the beat while I’m hanging on every note
You gotta choke cause you swallowed a problem
Not gonna take this, not gonna take this!

~*~

I despised your guiling swords of histrionic eloquence

Sharp tongue slashing cuts to the point of garishness

Every clanking word like an aged hard treacle in its tartiness

Your kisses causing me tooth decay and imminent stress

.

“Oh you silly bird, I’m not a threat” you oh-so silkily assured

And how careless it was of my ineptitude to believe that

All your prior motives were bleached white, strikingly pure

I bit on the card, despite the murky venom you clearly spat

.

How was I, a desperado, to have foretold this tragedy?

How was I to surmise that you’ve hidden a weightless dice?

When I look back on your lifelines, your inscribed litanies

All I envision is an ostentatious parade of chromatic lies

.

Where was my head in all of these? Distorted in the grey clouds

That you created with every breath as you sat smoking your pipe

A most rancid smell, yet intoxicating, of tobacco compound

But I was too indulged in the bittersweet nicotine to fight

.

“Oh, I’m an incarnadine goddess, a quite reliable vial of blood

Just let me be your saving grace, let me be your TNT spark”

And I let you flambeaux up the resting embers in my chest

And despite all my cautious prayers, I detonated nonetheless

.

Now where do I stand? Sullenly relaying your past discourse

The way an ashen-faced prisoner would steal a fallen lamplight

Just to read his personal announcements, bereft and morose

Clutching tightly a letter about his execution by hanging tonight

.

I’m defeated by your idiosyncrasies, your imagination is a tight rope around my neck

It pains me to even conjure the thought that to your fabrications I’ve been a gracious host

In the end, it all comes down to a single statement, a mouth with a flair for the dramatic

I’ll let your virtuoso hands pull the trapdoor lever, fingers trembling as I give up the ghost

.

A final violent shade of verdure is beginning to spread, clashing against my bruise-blotched cheeks

Blossoming briskly, an ironic requiem, though I’ve sorely wished for nothing but for them to already wilt

Somehow those sentimental chemicals in my asphyxiated brain keep acting as a mercurial fertiliser score

My last deathwish is that you’d be kind to pluck them from my heart, loved one, after all, what’s a single tear more?

~*~

I swear your head is bigger than us all, getting bigger
Go slit your own throat, slit your own throat!
You’re more turned on than anyone could be by yourself
Go slit your own throat, slit your own throat!

Leave a comment

Filed under Poetry

An Epitaph For The Celestial Marching Mercenaries Of The Final Apocalypse

The pious mercenary calling

Ivory halos bent and broken

Freedom, they were waging

With the price of lives stolen.

~faded tombstone inscription

~*~

The hooves came thundering one day, the pale blue horizon turned a foreboding scarlet

As four harbingers arrived, doing damage and causing War, Famine, Pestilence, and Death

The Ultimate Evil broke free from his fettered state, rose in power from the chains and ashes

The end was nigh, anarchy was high, until the skies opened up, and down flew the mercenaries

.

The immaculate mercenaries have come dawning upon our land today

Creating silent storms with their inexorable wings of pure liquid gold

Iridescent forms, fragile butterfly swords dipped in the blood of God

Legends from the end of a century troubadours failed to have foretold

.

Sheaths unravelling and suspended upon the silken strings of calling

Fundamental foundations on which this warring viridian planet o’er lay

For these cavalier soldiers fought and rallied against the stars falling

And saved restless cadavers from treason and potential further decay

.

Celestial hierarchy in motion, choirs of cherubim, seraphs, archangels

Sanctity of the war, exhibition like the clashing forces of moon and sun

White robed guardians arched in a delicate art of finesse, even in battle

Against the austerity of chthonic snarling demons, caliginous as they run

.

An empire of clattering bones and dripped silvery blood and carnage

Ashes choking the northeast breeze along with static crepuscular image

Stones cast whereupon heroes and kings once toasted glass in victory

The tainted lights of the sunset in a thousand days of a darkened glory

.

Holy weapons disintegrating the darkness, wield halos and hand grenades

Line after line of fiends are struck down, interlocked in a contrite parade

In the black and white of the opposed legions, thus occurred a stalemate

It seemed, for just a scintilla moment, that the better had won in this state

.

Yet when the eleventh hour struck, the stained battlefield was wrought

Half the army has gone to waste, and the other half left to fled for good

One survived, a lone figure in brutal combat, the shadows it still fought

Feathers plucked clean raining like hail, yet still, he relentlessly stood

.

Staring upon the paramount beast, standing drenched, shivering in turbid Stygian waters

Looking headlong into his glaring chaotic eyes, mocking, cackling, loathing splattered

A singular hope surged upon his severed veins, energy by grace of God’s dissemination

And with a last leap of faith and roar, he dashed past with broken wings to finish the book of revelation

.

The final frontier has been appended, and the end is a pyrrhic victory with irreparable losses

A defended vengeful side for an unknown singular cause, cost total obliteration to the masses

A valley of casualties lain like a tainted painting, from which artists dare not lay upon the canvas

With the sun burnt out, an frigid winter blanketed Gaia, and Elysium’s throne waited empty, alas!

.

Unsure of who gained the upper hand in this ordeal, a semblance of Heaven and Hell’s last swan song

In pace requiescat, a whisper carried by the last wind, bereft and morose, onto the gales forlorn and strong

And tet all that remains of this violent sordid affair is torn fragments of a yellowing parchment

Yet I tell this tale now, eulogy writ in my own quill and liquid; and I shall raise a glass, a spirit for the spirits

.

So lay a crimson rose in the graves of the bravest men, the fallen comrades, the stalwart mercenaries

Those loyal divine battalions who left paradise to purvey zealous souls against obstreperous enemies

Future hope woebegone, and may they rest in peace forevermore, for they have died, yet not completely in vain

I write this final epitaph for my beloved lost children, may their bold hearts ascend back to the kingdom of heaven once again.

Leave a comment

Filed under Poetry