Tag Archives: die

Ex Nihilo

Oh, but don’t you see? We’re made to destroy

Shooting arrows onto the pockmarked ceiling

Until it loses its shaky grip, and begins falling

Finding another home in the chasm of our skin

.

Creating the chaos that even god won’t decimate

The first sin and final revelation, we will recreate

Holding back the maelstrom, a cataclysm presents

With every pain and agony, the loathing we resent

.

Chasing back the darkness, like starved animals we breathe

Savages tearing apart throats to shreds to get what we’ll need

Bleeding, bruised, medicine refused, suffering keeps us awake

Or we will never stay alive under the weight of all our mistakes

.

Running away from reality, breaking in nothing as we stalled

Tortured eyes seek wandering lies, and scratching at the walls

They make signs and burn our names in the wake of destruction

That we caused with our dying hands, genocide of the generation

.

Can I just have one more, one more…can I just have one more taste?

I won’t make it, won’t make it—I won’t make it through another day

Pleading and obliterating, until all that’s left is you and I alone to die

We’re made to destroy this decomposing world of devastation tonight.

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fleeting

you’re growing up

so fast and i can

see the neon lights

slowly flickering in

your hopeful eyes

here’s to cavalier youth

that’s yours to keep

i only pray that i don’t

ever see such a glow die.

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Glass Shards Taste Sweeter Than Revenge

Cut off my wings and come lock me up
Just pull the plug yeah, I’ve had enough
Tear me to pieces, sell me for parts
You’re all vampires so here
You can have my heart…

~*~

you’re not worth

swallowing eggshells for

i wish i knew before i

digested all your bullshit

not everyone can spill

sunshine when they speak

and i’d rather die by my

own hand than your radiation

so take a fucking razor

and cut your palms open

just bleed the hell out

and drown all the demons

and pull yourself so far under

isn’t that what you always want?

don’t let the roses stop you

burn me out as you did

to those innocent paper towns

because i’m waterlogged anyway

you’ve no use for my pages

and yet you persist to write the

profanities and revilement

just to wipe condescension in

like your own twisted diary

i hope you’re happy now

from slashing my ankles simply

‘cause you got tired of this

if you can’t chase, no one can

honestly i’m glad you cut me off

though i may be crippled, at

least my conscience isn’t paralysed

my shame isn’t metastasised

i guess so long, goodnight, and

good goddamned riddance

hope you have fun stepping on

the glass shards i spit out for you.

~*~

So come rain on my parade, ’cause I wanna feel it
Come shove me over the edge ’cause my head is in overdrive
I’m sorry, but it’s too late and it’s not worth saving
So come rain on my parade, I think we’re doomed
I think we’re doomed, and now there is no way back…

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murder the moment

i know how

to kill now

but more

importantly,

i know how

to fucking die.

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sticks and stones

oh, if only

those sharp

and acidic

words can

physically

hurt or inflict

then i would

have been

injured long

ago, and you

wouldn’t live

to see a minute.

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writer for hire (the sellout)

shivering at

the very thought

of ink and repulsion

as tongues invade

collected silence

with interrogation

i’m simply complacent

just a noiseless

typewriter thereon

so hire me for your

sanity, then pay for

every emotion

let me be your proxy

poetry and your

bastard bard

your ever-watching

eyes, a sacrifice

to be scarred

apathetic sentient

the irony of the

unsentimental heart

but i’d rather die whole

than to endure infamy

that tears me apart.

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wingless

the fall

was just another

excuse for me

to attempt to fly

and if that

doesn’t work, then

i won’t lose

anything when i die.

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letters to s.d.: fragment #6 {promise}

darling, you[REDACTED] be [REDACTED]ay

.

i’m sorry.

i didn’t mean to.

what have i done.

i won’t think about it.

i won’t do it again.

for you, i’ll try.

not to die.

.

fuck fuck fuck fuck i’m d[REDACTED].

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This means war, sweetheart

“Every single door in this house is on FIRE!!!”

~*~

I’m in agony over how

You just constantly

Abuse your privilege

And stab razors in

My throat; yes, the

Very ones you stole

From me last night,

While I slept wasted.

I hate your words,

Your putrid tongue

That doesn’t speak

The language of

Originality, somehow

Speaking of holes

And roses and

Pretty fucking proses

In imitated neurosis

And you reckon

You’re so damn cool

When you’re the jack

Playing the fool

And if you’re gonna

Be pretentious

As all abrasive hell,

Then fuck it, at least

Learn how to spell.

Why do you make

Me despise you

So much, then pull

My heart away with

The beat of a miracle?

You threw first punch

But you hit yourself

And blacked out

Your own perspectives

You are impossible

But somehow I read

Every toss of your

Androgynous wink

You can’t fool the

Ones who don’t think.

But don’t take it away

Don’t take the injections

That sedate me from

This lifeless corpse

Named reality…..

They’re mine, goddammit

So don’t make me hate

What I fucking love,

Don’t let me live so you

Could kill me slow,

Don’t ruin victory and

Misery and SoCal lifelines

Singing for me now…

You can’t be that harsh.

You can’t be that insane.

Surely, you can’t be that stupid.

You won’t understand me

You were never too clever

But hear me out again

Damn it, won’t you listen?!

I may talk too much

But bitch please,

You breathe too much,

So I guess we’re all

Peachy and even now

Even though you’re

Still stepping on my toes

With a fist worthy sneer

Chanting la-dee-fucking-da;

But that’s fucking fine

I’ll concede your asininity

…Time remaining.

So get your knife out

Of my jugular now,

Cross a busy highway

And fucking eat shit

And excuse me while

I go and throw up,

‘Cause you make me

Feel so fucking s-i-c-k.

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This Dizzy Dreamer and Her Bleeding Little Blue Boy

Licking your fingers like you’re done
And you’ve decided there is so much more than me
And baby honestly it’s harder breathing next to you, I shake
I brought a gun and as the preacher tried to stop me
Hold my heart, it’s beating for you anyway…

~*~

There is a delusion of us I hoped vainly to abstain

I’d lust after this dissolution, but it never remains

Both blank eyed, watching kaleidoscopic scenery

Against smoky shadows of automatic machinery

.

I am a Tom Sawyer stuck in the American Gothic

So drive a pitchfork in my chest, call me pathetic

I’m used to heaving, this deluded boy won’t think

Pastel pink of watered-down blood lining the sink

.

Now my tongue is fettered to the roof of my mouth

Preoccupied with my dizzy little girl from the south

Her poison scented soft like a postcard from France

Breaking off both wrists with her single cold glance

.

You gave me a present, I wasted it reaching the past

I swear these mnemonics were not supposed to last

I won’t be able to retrieve those nights that you stole

Crushed like my soul to draw my portrait in charcoal

.

Your silver necklace is beginning to tighten like a noose

The chain links are tiredly tarnished but I can’t set loose

I’ll die clashing against gold and in monochrome lockets

Please save my heart dizzy girl, and hide it in your pocket.

~*~

What if I can’t forget you?
I’ll burn your name into my throat
I’ll be the fire that’ll catch you
What’s so good about picking up pieces?
What if I don’t even want to…?

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