Tag Archives: dinner

a family dinner in two parts

I’ve felt so gray and out of place
Bent out of shape, but stuck in my ways
And I’ve been searching for the answer
Will I always be this way?

~*~

(i.)

i’m sorry that

i don’t act the way

i’m supposed to

that i couldn’t keep up

my play this time around

i’m sorry that i could

barely bring myself

to chew and swallow

because my stomach feels

like it’s choking on itself

i’m sorry for being

too weary and worn-out

not just because i lack sleep

but also because i’m tired

of trying to live again and again

i’d rather just end all this.

.

(ii.)

i’m sorry i can’t be

a part of your picture

perfect family, that

my smile never reaches

my jaded eyes, and it shows

in all the photographs

i’m sorry that my anxiety

is kicking in and badly

crippling my entire system

and i’m sorry you don’t

notice the unnerving mess that

i’ve been reduced to

and continue to yell at me

for being fucking ungrateful

i want to scream back

but it’s all i can do to stifle

my tears and clench my fists

to keep all the trauma in

i’d rather just end all this.

~*~

And it’s getting harder to pretend like I’m okay
When there’s a constant reminder being drilled into my brain
I still believe in happiness and I want to find a way
But lately, my whole world is being swallowed by the grey…

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Dinner is Served!

Watch your mouth, oh, oh, oh
Because your speech is slurred enough
That you just might swallow your tongue
I’m sure you’d want, want to give up the ghost
With just a little more poise than that…

~*~

A high table set for two

Small talk held by glue

Out comes the waiters

Bon apetit! Here’s supper

.

Veins popping in vanity

Pustules snap insanity

Optic nerves on my tea

Mouth tastes of saline IV

.

Your rancid sick words

Shoved down my throat

Falling fast, broiled cold

Pulsating tongues bloat

.

You would not sugarcoat

Though relentlessly gloat

My orifice dripping honey

Disgusting, sticky, runny

.

Now swallow your pride

An hors d’oeuvre to slide

Pushpins and rusty tacks

For appetisers and snacks

.

Gourmandise on your desire

Dreams roast on an open fire

Slime oozing from a cauldron

Seltzer fizzling, peptic solution

.

I’m salivating thickest ink

Blood rich on hungry lips

Coiled intestines unlinked

Lead taken in dainty sips

.

A heap, hell, shred of trust

Is all I ever asked, deserve

But you spat out more rust

And feed me more dessert

.

You force down fatty lies

And doses of pink poison

Plucked wings of dead flies

Acidic brew of pure emotion

.

I understand and I endure

Try to find medicinal cure

But despite meals so many

I’m still wasting away slowly

.

I’m sick of disgusting dinners

I’d rather starve than break fast

Like the last meal of a sinner

Lost in hunger and stones cast

.

Your dark overcooked words

Just taste severely bitter now

And your false presentations

Won’t appeal to me somehow

.

A taste of your own brand of medicine

Right now, is what I’m highly craving

When my blood’s already boiling over

Into scalding burns you won’t recover

.

And when you choke on that black bile taste

Regurgitating fast that acrid foamy white paste

Well, don’t you throw it up back to me, crying

Because dear, it’s just rude, and highly unappetising.

~*~

Or was it God who chokes
In these situations, running late?
No, no, he called in
Prescribed pills, to offset the shakes
To offset the pills
You know you should take it a day at a time…

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