Tag Archives: distance

sometimes i exist i think

I can feel a change
I lie awake every night, scratching
At the back of my eyelids
Nothing good ever happens
In the midnight hour…

~*~

distance stemmed

from coveting and

plainness, an upside

down mixolydian

reverie, never enoughs

for nobody was—crave to

choose isolation from

an option of tenfolds

because it eases the

passageways and

makes for a placid tale

of another ghost haunting

their own apartment

simply because they

wanted to leave the door

without a key just ever

so slightly unlocked

~*~

Don’t look at the moon
While the light is draining
It’s slowly killing you
Don’t look at the moon…

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(please never) bloom again

i find myself thinking about it

the tiny pieces that build up

each sleight of anonymity that

outlined the subtle secrets

in your unrelenting stargaze

.

and a watered-down kind of

“i-promise-never-to-tell”

.

a hint; of chamomile attraction

.

but send my best to sunshine state

because i’ll never be there to

share a drink or name with you

i’ll smoke my fantasies out instead

.

so why not just give way, like the

empty ground beneath my feet

my self-esteem tastes of

stale breath mints and no one’s

sloppy seconds, but it looks

fine from a distance—it virtually

looks like nothing next to all

.

of the tiny pieces that you picked

out of your rancid heart and

unknowingly lodged right in between

my throat, just so i would mean it

.

when i promised never to tell.

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only

maybe i don’t

matter much

in an ocean of

bodies, far away

beyond your reach

.

but i still want to

say what i think,

all i’ll mean—just

know that you will

always be my favourite.

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Smother

Roam the vestibules

And find a safe space

To lose your affinity

Cast off the tight haze

.

Reminders of grim past

Of that person you were

Crushed in agony’s hold

But so blissfully unaware

.

There’s far too many traitors

In a world ever-unmending

There’s no need for you to be

Another parasitic festering

.

So just lose the tinted glasses

You won’t need them to see

And simply keep your distance

As all things should really be.

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outcast

my friends

want a stranger

to take the

place of my skin

but i don’t

blame them, it’s

easier to be

someone else

.

the distance

saves them from

myself, i’m glad

they don’t call

so they won’t have

to hear the anxiety

seeping in as i

say it’s no trouble

.

i step back and

watch them thrive,

i watch their smiles

grow genuine

as mine wears down

and fades away,

relapsing back

to empty nothings

.

this was never

meant to last, and

the candlelight’s

meant to flicker

and moths shouldn’t

dance with butterflies

my greys will sedate

their pretty colours

.

so i’ll clip my own

wings and take

the risk, i’ll fall out

of their lives

forget the days

when i still meant

a thing, they will

soon forget the past

.

my friends

want a stranger

to take the

place of my skin

but i don’t really

blame them, i know

i’d also rather be

someone else.

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frostbites

My head is stripped just like a screw
That’s been tightened too many times
When I think of you, when I think of you
I will shield you from the waves if they find you
I will protect you, I will protect you
Just tell me, tell me, tell me I
I am the only one even if it’s not true…

~*~

love,

my mouth

is cold

from speaking

about these

sweet curses

in futile

hopes that you

will listen

to them; or to me.

there’s been

a million

dead voices

before me, of

poets and

troubadours

and musicians

all of them

so prestigious

and all hopelessly

asking for your

heart on a

silver platter.

for they have had

a taste, and now

they want

more, and they

want it all,

and i am one

of them.

so come morning

take me in,

hold me tight

until i die, and give

my ghost

to the grey stars

colliding with

the lacerated horizon.

this distance just

makes me

tormented and

miasmatic, but it’s

for the sake

of your taciturn

sunlight, and

i’m already scorched.

for you’re so

beguiling, love…

won’t you

make me feel

warm?

~*~

I’m here at the beginning of the end
Oh, the end of infinity with you
I’m done with having dreams
The thing that I believe
Oh, you drain all the fear from me…

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Pantomime

Borderline drowning in these messy thoughts
I’ll come down once I get some more
This substance got a hold on me, I’m insecure
I’m hearing voices, what the fuck’s that sound?
I’m going through problems I shouldn’t talk about…

~*~

I put myself in someone else’s heart

And it didn’t beat, no, it didn’t beat at all

My soul’s uncomfortable from twisting

And turning, trying to fit in the desperate crawl

The insecurities taste as heavy as substances

Making my open veins cough up less blood

I just don’t believe in myself as much as I should

And doubts weigh me down when I’ve had

A step away from my eyes and into empty shoes

Which squeaked when I wore them, the laces loose

And the soles were worn down from these miles of walking

I may have gone the distance but I didn’t do the talking

I’m no longer genuine, just as diamonds are always fake

Covering up for my mortalities with graver mistakes

And pretending I wasn’t me, for once I don’t know

What the parts of my anatomy were, how everything goes

The self-hatred whispers things I don’t want to have thought

And my mama tells me I’ve always been what I’m not

Head a mess, anxiety regaled in fanfare intuition

They say life’s not fair without a taste of contradiction

But I’m just trying to regain what I once lost with my pen

Discover all the stories I missed making amends again

I put myself in someone else’s heart, and it didn’t beat at all

But mine only started to breathe when I let myself answer the call.

~*~

I’m not comfortable
No, I just can’t seem to feel at all
I’m not comfortable
So, I’ll take another pharmaceutical
‘Cause I’m uncomfortable…

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ii.) heartbeat recital.

beautiful-flowers-photography-sky-Favim.com-1851708

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Isolated Distances

Push them away with the whim of a wind

Until their stretched fingertips are irretrievable—

.

You are falling, alone in chasmic rage;

They need not suffer with your chagrins.

.

Draw away further until no one can ever reach

The dangerous flare that burns skin and town alike…

.

No harm, nor ache, nor hurt, nor pain,

Needs superfluously to cross their aureole smiles;

.

They’ll remain alright as long as you are not

And the sun will keep revolving in the absence of your breath.

.

Though if you only wished to express clamorous such

Contagious toil, in the faith that some empathetic mortal

.

Will understand, and hear you out, and actually listen—

How inconsiderately conceited and selfish of you.

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Fork in the Road

I wanna let go of all the shame I live in
It’s all coming back because you always give it
I’m falling apart, when the heart breaks up
I’m moving forward…

~*~

Please keep your distance

I may be here but my mind’s miles away

I’m just another hitchhiker

And you don’t have to pick me up anyway

So maybe it’s all better off

If we let the stretched kilometres speak for itself

I’m caught in your headlights

But I’ll take the juncture’s path and wish you well.

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