Tag Archives: done

Contaminated Chemistry

Tungsten eyes will wage a futile war

With hearts so big and minds so small

They saw it coming, but what’s the problem?

You speak of fear and love, but what until then—?

.

Crying wolf won’t keep your hands alive

It’s just another bend, it’s just another night

Giving up is contagious, and I’ll just take the cue

I’m done with being finished, what about you?

.

But the edge of my seat is more comfortable than ever

And the tip of your blade won’t hold me forever

Let’s call a truce before one ends up bleeding in their bed

So let’s call a truce before the winner ends up defeated.

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delays

the heat is addling

the corners of my eyes

bleeding with tears

that i so madly despise

.

crowds so dense

they all suffocate

as footsteps go on

of weary and late

.

i take a breath

but i can find none

fun was all fun

but now it’s all done

.

i’m stuck and bored

i don’t know why i try

“home sweet home”

has never been such a lie.

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Be Something

Nobody thinks what I think, nobody dreams when they blink
Think things on the brink of blasphemy, I’m my own shrink
Think things are after me, my catastrophe at my kitchen sink
You don’t know what that means because a kitchen sink to you
Is not a kitchen sink to me, okay friend?

~*~

If I were to collapse

On myself and care

About the way I speak

And how I do my hair

Then I wouldn’t be here

Then I wouldn’t be dead

I’ll just be an old memory

At the back of my head

Yes, I want to grow up

But I want to do it my way

So I don’t need any handouts

Of so-and-so’s displays

And I’ll take the challenge

But with no instructions

Leave me to figure out

And trip again until i’m done

Because life is meaningless

All this shit doesn’t matter

So I’ll take my chances

And test the deeper waters

Then if I fail, well just be there

To say that “I told you so”

Even then, I wouldn’t care

Because this I know

At least I tried my very best

And I claimed my stakes

Instead of just simply regretting

That I never made mistakes.

~*~

Are you searching for purpose?
Then write something, yeah it might be worthless
Then paint something then, it might be wordless
Pointless curses, nonsense verses
You’ll see purpose start to surface…

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blood and whiskey

You’ve got to quit your little charade
And join the freak parade
Now that your road has been paved
From conception to your grave
There are enormous things to do
Others’ practices to eschew
To be better than you is impossible to do
But the world won’t stop without you!

~*~

sin after sin

vice after vice

piling them all in

i’m done playing nice

underhanded pains

underage drinking

do i give a fuck

i’m slowly sinking?

being sober is too taxing

feeling is such a drag

overthinking is caustic

my heart is making me gag

bitter tastes good

and wrong feels right

let’s screw up my system

one by one tonight

one for flesh, mutilated

two for kidney, bathed in salt

three for liver, fried away

four for system, sleep default

five for the soul i thought

i could finally save then

but i revert into misery

again and again and again

where’s the harm

in a little indulgence

when all life’s given you

is bullshit and nonsense?

don’t know what i’m doing

i don’t want to even mind

all i care about is transgressions

and i’m falling behind

so numb i couldn’t even feel

the sound of my voice

and i laugh without smiling

a horrible fucking noise

trying to forget the mistakes

that i tallied in crimson

i’m cutting my pain in half

taking advice from king solomon

because innocence is fragile

and soon it will goddamn shatter

until your regretful stupidity

is all that even matters

sin after sin, vice after vice

it gets better they say, but fuck, it’s all lies

and i’m only trying to have some fun

in a hellhole of an existence that offers me none.

~*~

You’re only as elegant as your actions let you be
A piece of chaos related phylogenetically
To every living organ system, they’re siblings don’t you see
The earth rotates and will revolve without you constantly.

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letters to s.d.: fragment #6 {promise}

darling, you[REDACTED] be [REDACTED]ay

.

i’m sorry.

i didn’t mean to.

what have i done.

i won’t think about it.

i won’t do it again.

for you, i’ll try.

not to die.

.

fuck fuck fuck fuck i’m d[REDACTED].

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Picture Perfect Family

Welcome to my home

I’m glad you came

We are very much pleased

To make your

Comely acquaintance.

See that over there?

There, by the side—

Oh no, no, silly;

Not the unswept

Debris of dirt and

Smashed plates and

Fragile china sets,

Pray not step on it

You might get

Wounded worse

Than I did.

Not the bloodstains

On the beige wall,

An abstract painting

Of all the beatings

We fought for.

Not the snivelling

Figure in the corner,

Sulking and muttering

That’s just my sister

Nor the vomit

On the decaying floor

Presented thus

By my piss drunk

Loser brother.

Ignore the sounds

Upstairs as well,

My mother’s crying

And father’s screaming

Might be a little

Distracting to you.

It’s over there,

By the side of the

Chimney, on

The mantelpiece…

Yes, that one

The cracked frame

With the shattered glass

Which is in fact

A photograph

Of me and

My happy family

All smiling parodically

With dead eyes

And ironic peace signs

And content with

Our normal lives…

Charming, isn’t it?

That’s just me

And my perfect family

What more can we ask for?

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