Tag Archives: drama

Have Some Booze, So You Don’t Choke On The Truth

So come on and take a shot
You just can’t get enough
Don’t let the fact that you know
Nothing stop you talking now
‘Cause when all is said and done
My name’s still on your tongue
But tell me, why you gotta
Kick me when I’m down?

~*~

I meant what I said

When I said nothing’s wrong

Because nothing was what’s left

Of this bad trick all along

.

You act like you’re in sorry pain

Try to keep your glares curt

But blunt lies crush the silence

You’re the only one hurt

.

And to think I never thought

Only accepted with the blindest faith

But things are too good to be true

And they won’t come to those who wait

.

It was just a matter of time

But I wasn’t really keeping score

We’ve done this over and over, now

Hell, I’ve seen it all before

.

And honestly, it’s fine by me

It’s one less bullshit to worry about

Less weight on my strained shoulders

A good lesson to keep the flies out

.

So hold out your soul and cry

I won’t stay to watch the flowers die

You’re not even worth the spite

You were never worth the fucking fight

.

So long, and no thanks for the crazy memories

That stabbed like a migraine even as I kept going on

Goodbye and swallow the drama, I don’t need it anymore

It’s just easier to accept that I never cared all along.

~*~

Yeah, I know it’s all in good fun, but
Don’t say it’s coming from love now
I see those arms in akimbo
And don’t set that phaser to stun
‘Cause what doesn’t kill me
Well, it better run like hell
Yeah, you better run like hell…

Advertisements

Leave a comment

Filed under Poetry

Just Exist

N̵̖̻͙̓i̴̧̢͐̿͜g̷͚͙̜̓͝h̴͉͈͌t̸̟̱̾s̵̗̯͋ ̸̠͍̈́̕l̴̢̀͊i̸̛̖̳̰̾k̵̜͎̐e̷̡̦̯̔̈́ ̴̖̇̒̅t̵͎̙̞̑̄͘h̴̨̯͙̉̈́̇ě̴̢͇s̵̻̲͜͠ē̸͚,̸̛͚̜ ̵͓̞̳̇̇w̴̹͂̓̍h̶̨̪͂é̶͕͚̖̓̚r̷͇̖̉ͅe̴͈̋̌͋ ̴̨̛̳̇̾Ỉ̶̪̚͘ ̷̱̩̅͜f̴̖̾̂͆e̸͉̻͒ě̵̪̰͂͜ľ̵͖̟͖̋̏ ̸̬̽r̷̭͖̼̈́̋e̴͕̥̍a̵͈͂͆̅l̷͈̗̽̓͌.̶͓͉̽͋̀͜.̵̧̣͈͑͝.̷̻̟̏ͅ

For a moment, the catatonic world seemed like a transparent illusion to him; nothing but faceless ghosts and vague outlines of ruined buildings and veiled horizons that barely existed beyond the twilight skylines. Gossamer, that’s the pretty word for it. Everything was so exquisitely gossamer.

“Kyle…Kyle?”

From beside him, he could hear Dylan softly calling out his name, beckoning him out of his efflorescent daydream. But Kyle merely closed his eyes and sighed, leaning back and letting the warm sand slip and sift between his delicate fingers. Dylan knew better than to persist and disturb his reveries further, thankfully.

Everything seemed like miles away from Kyle; the aegan ocean, his bickering friends, the salty breeze in his lungs, all of it seemed to be gradually wandering away from him, in search of a better reality.

Tranquil tidal waves solemnly lapped against the coastline, cool and fragile, barely reaching his toes. From behind him, a warped laugh from Zach, an indignant cry of protest from Jordan, Dylan’s poor exasperated attempts at mollifying the situation—a polaroid snapshot of a fleeting argument, a fleeting memory, in a fleeting lifetime.

In a while, Kyle’s spine began to feel quite sore from sitting upright, so he shifted a bit further to shake off the discomfort and rest against Dylan’s shoulder.

But, in leaning back, he found in surprise that his friend seemed to have disappeared into thin air.

In fact, all of them had.

Kyle panicked as he flailed in an attempt to retain his balance, but it was all too late. He quickly toppled backwards and felt himself crashing fast onto…the ground?

Not this time, still.

There was nothing but empty air beneath him.

Kyle could do nothing but let the volatile wind carry him away, as the horizon tilted from his vision and blurred into a sfumatic landscape—of violent fugacious colours and relapsing imbricated patterns.

From beyond that psychedelic film reel, he swore he could faintly hear Zach’s echoing voice counting down, so dangerously close yet so far away from him. But…to what end?

Five, four, three, two, one…

Kyle finally landed on something with a soft thump. He wasn’t quite expecting a gentle landing, but he was really grateful for it.

For about five seconds.

Until he shifted his gaze to see a messy tangle of translucent plastic wires connected to his chest and snaking past his limbs, a thousand needles painfully embedded in his veins and all over his arms, and all of these damned things tapering off to poisonous IV lines and contraptions stretching far beyond the gurney’s reach.

Creeping panic descended on Kyle and quickly set in once more. His heart began to beat fast, faster, somehow even overtaking the metronomic beeps that were supposed to be in sync with it. The discordant sound raged and roared in his ears, but he couldn’t block it out. He couldn’t scream for help. He couldn’t do anything at all.

Rendered completely powerless, Kyle could only watch in silent horror as metal medicine men disguised with stained scrubs and face masks milled frantically around him, attempting to suppress his rapid tachycardia and to no avail. The anthropomorphic beings wielded sharp scalpels that drew scarlet lines across his flesh and reviving paddles that numbly jolted him, but seemed to be useless in the fight to keep his failing heart still functioning.

Right behind them, Zach stood morosely, shifting from one foot to the other unsurely as he overlooked the grotesque scene. He was wearing a tattered funeral suit and holding a wreath of shriveled black dahlias in one hand, his miserable stare full of pleading remorse.

“Stay with us now!”

That final scream wasn’t a strange android’s monotonous voice. It was familiar, pained—an aching, desperate plea. Whose voice was it?

Kyle, it seemed, didn’t have time to find out.

He felt the life drain out of him as his frail body went limp, his stuttering breaths became elusive, and his vision slowly faded out into darkness. A bored voice announced his time of death as if they were reading it off a newspaper obituary.

A droning flatline. A blinding white light. Another dreadful sensation of recklessly falling away…

“Kyle!”

He suddenly awoke to find himself floating in the middle of the ocean, frigid waves angrily cresting and swelling around him. He was still wearing his hospital gown, which was heavily soaked but did not weigh him down much, thankfully. His mouth also tasted rather salty from—was it from the ocean water or blood?

Kyle tried to take a deep breath, but his throat immediately constricted and he swallowed back a mouthful of the unknown liquid; lungs burning, coughs overtaking, still struggling to keep himself afloat despite the inevitable void that was pulling him in once again.

Or was it something else?

He felt a steady hand grasp him by the arm and carefully drag him out back onto the shore. Heaving and spluttering, Kyle weakly crawled away from the waters and peered up into the looming face of his saviour.

“Jordan, is that you?”

“Maybe. Maybe not.” His companion simply replied. “Are you okay?”

“No, no I’m fucking not!” Kyle snapped in frustration, his eyes welling up with tears and blurring his vision. Looking up once more, Jordan’s face appeared less of a human being to him and more of an abstract portrait. Spiralling, he was still spiralling…

“I don’t know why I’m being put through this and which one of these memories is reality anymore and just—I don’t wanna live in a world like this!” Kyle continued to seethe as he punched the ground until his knuckles bruised, hoping that the pain would keep him from completely losing grasp again. “Are you even real? Are any of you?! Or is this just another fake fiction? And what about me? Am I also just make-believe? I don’t know and I can’t fucking trust my head anymore. What the hell is going on here?”

Jordan, however, appeared to be mostly unfazed by his furious diatribe. “To tell you the truth, we don’t know either.” He said with an indifferent shrug.

“I figured as much.” Kyle buried his head in his hands in sullen resignation, still shuddering from the hypothermic cold overtaking his skin. “But, I swear, just tell me one thing, please…” He pled, voice barely above a whisper.

“When will this end?”

“You can’t ask too many questions here. Likewise, we can’t reveal too much. Trust me when I say that in this situation, ignorance is bliss.” Jordan’s tone unexpectedly shifted from callous to pitying, which made Kyle’s stomach turn even more in sheer dread.

“I really wish I could help you, Kyle. But I can’t. I just can’t.”

“It’s okay. I guess I’ll just have to figure this one out myself.” Kyle murmured, smiling thinly in defeat. “You’ve done enough already.”

Jordan walked away without saying another word, his solemn shadows moving away from Kyle and stretching out into black labyrinths on the sand. Overhead, a seagull sluggishly flew past and squalled, almost mournfully. A bright ray of afternoon sunlight peeking through silver cumulous clouds shone on Kyle’s face and momentarily blinded him, and he blinked once more.

“Kyle…Kyle?”

When he opened his eyes again, he was back with his three closest friends, resting on a checkered picnic blanket by the shore, back in that transparent world with its faceless ghosts and vague outlines of ruined buildings and veiled horizons—catatonic, yet somehow comforting.

“Yeah?”

“You’ve been kinda quiet for a while now.” Dylan observed thoughtfully. “You alright there? What are you thinking about?”

Behind him, another warped laugh. Another indignant protest following it. Another spell of hellish deja vu, resentfully nostalgic yet drastically different. Dylan’s concerned gaze was piercing through his confused soul, searching for some answers, meaning to understand him. But there was nothing left to be understood anymore, that much he knew. There just wasn’t.

Instead, Kyle simply shook his head in response and sighed wistfully. “No, it’s nothing. Nothing at all.”

He didn’t dare close his eyes now. Instead, he stared up into the calm indigo nothings above him and quietly wished that this time around, those hopeful words would be the only truth, even if it wasn’t going to be pretty at all. Gossamer…why is everything so exquisitely gossamer?

P l e a s e . . .

R̵̗͖̿e̴͕̞̍ą̴̘͔̽̽̉l̵̺̥͌̌ȋ̷̱͆̂t̵̢̐ŷ̴̤̋ ̷̮͌̍s̵͚̮̫͌͑̀ė̵̡̩̻t̴̫̟̔s̶̖͒̈́ ̵̪̗͆͛̊į̷̩̀͊̍n̶͉̬̆̍͠,̷͎̰͘ ̶̙͓̆̀̄a̵̠̐̇̎ṅ̸̢̜d̸̪͚̭͊ ̸̺̩̭̓͝I̶̮̺͇̾͋̕’̴̛̬̝̳̈́̅l̵̟͍̝̍̇l̷̔͗̕ͅ ̸̟̜̿̐b̵̪̑͗̒e̵̱̒̚ ̶̺̩͔͛̽͂g̸̢̘̥̈͊o̵͔͋́n̴͍̅́̈́ẽ̵̢̈́͗ ̴͎̙̍͌̽ä̵̗́͑g̷͇̥̓͌̈́ä̴͕̳̎̌i̵̟̍̌̕n̷̩̋.̶̖̣̰̈

Leave a comment

Filed under Prose

Pretty Little Thing

Right before you fly you fix the broken wings of
Everything that carries you forward now
Patching up the holes remaining in your word now
I start to question what is real or not, pick apart my every thought
Dig in to a dark place, bury the thought of your face…

~*~

A wish to avoid a blatant lie

To a spine with broken bones

Waiting for retaliation in the

Shape of a forsaken home

.

As mirrors began to whisper

About the drama that unfolded

It all tasted like high tension

Keeping her weak wings faded

.

Fingers forward, burying blame

Twitching petals, her lavish name

Draped in linen, maiden serenity

Masquerading a sorrowful calamity

.

Of an oil painting melting away

In the warmth of this winter fire

Lost palettes ebbing and arching

An abandoned masterpiece dire

.

Grim faces arrested in quiet disgust

As snow fell and tainted mordant black

Onto the pallbearers dressed in drab

Carrying away an eternal chill in her heart.

~*~
Pretty little thing, you know the way to make me weak
But I’ll stand on my own feet
Shame on you for hitting where it most hurts
Shame on me for listening
Pretty little thing, I think you better turn away
My attention is ending…

Leave a comment

Filed under Poetry

They’re Better Off Without You

Arrogant boy, when will you ever learn?

That this world is not made up of roses and thorns

Sometimes the blossoms wilt but the weeds will remain

Waiting for a chance to stick briers in your name

You can stop chasing good girls by their hourglass hips

And bringing more rounds of vodka and shotgun to your lips

You can stop using your arms as a substitute ashtray

Or your skin as ivory to carve out sculptures in scarlet clay

And all your best friends that proclaim they’re sincere

Draw insults behind your back and say it’s good fun and fair

They don’t have time for drama, but get front row seats

When you’re deep in the mess, entangled in bullshit

Your smile is bleeding out, teeth scattered on the sidewalk

“Good one, guys” you say, but they never want to talk

Your eyes don’t need fists to be darker than they already are

The lack of sleep does that, when you have come home from war

You read the daily newspapers to know about everything else

Trying to care about them, when you don’t know anything about yourself

You give up your seat for others, thinking it’s an act of selflessness

When in reality, you just hate yourself to much to deserve any duress

And you think that you’re happy, but you’re just distracted

Choosing to admire the vivid carnage when you have self-destructed

Because it’s all the same to you, and it just doesn’t matter whether

Your life gets blown apart mile-high or moves inch by inch like a feather

Blind boy, when will you see that they’re all laughing at you?

Your youth is too old to pursue the optimism of a hard-knock truth

When can you draw the broken line between a break-up and a breakdown?

When will you stop trying to swim and simply let yourself drown?

Ignorant boy, don’t be sorry for believing the lies, but will you ever even learn

That this dismal, ravaged wreck of a world will turn and turn and turn

No matter how much you stumble, trip, and cry on your faded hand-me-down shirt

Time won’t stop, your friends won’t care, your wounds will still bleed and burn

You can scream but no one will listen; foolish boy, don’t you see you’re not much worth?

Leave a comment

Filed under Poetry

Obnoxious

I think with my heart and love with my head
Do you see the problem here?
You rip me to shreds
I think with my heart, you fuck with my head
Do you see the problem here?
You rip me to shreds, so tear into me…

~*~

I don’t know how to approach without causing a tiffed scene

For the situation is delicate and I’m a pubescent drama queen

With a firsthand awkwardness and an attitude that’s second rate

And a single third-degree word from my mouth could exacerbate

The bad into worse, wrong to right, and the good into questionable

I’ve never known how to react in a way that’s decent and preferable

Because I’ve hurt people too much, and my head is a constant mess

I am just another kid with a mean streak and a biro with a complex

It’s not the way it was anymore, now there’s always a tangible tension

A silent crash of peripheral glares, and a screeching of metal emotions

I’m sorry if I’m maundering, apathetic, and constantly act like I don’t care

But the truth is that I actually care far too much—and that’s why I’m scared.

Leave a comment

Filed under Poetry

The Drama Queens Called, They Want Their Bullshit Back

You can call me little Miss Piss with a kiss
And after all this the rest is all bullshit
And you love it, you love it
You love it, you love it…

~*~

Oh blah blah blah

You think you’re so special

Doing what thousands do

Glorified, you’re fucking mental

It’s satisfying, isn’t it?

When there’s no point to it

All you’re doing is being an attention whore

Doing it for the sake of bullshit

And I’m so very glad

That I handed you the keys

That would lock you in this transgression

And you didn’t say thanks or please

But it’s fine, it’s fine

I enjoy hearing your little chatter

When you’re crying out a fucking puddle

Then say you’re drowning underwater

So blah blah blah and etcetera

Good girl gone bad, oh, ain’t she just special?

But beneath all your overblown hysteria

You’re just another pitiful pathetic liar.

~*~

Say no to brains, it’s a no-brainer
Lowest common denominator
It pays the bills to be this sterile
Fuck me now, rip me off later
And you love it, you love it
After this the rest is all bullshit…

Leave a comment

Filed under Poetry

Glock Girl and Bayonet Boy

Nothing changes but the weather
You just think that you got better
Time doesn’t heal, it scabs the wound
I won’t cover, cover my scars for you
Victim of deceit, weighed down by your
Heavy hand; a constant battle
Between who you want, and who I am…

~*~

Here’s step one, don’t you dare run and tell me what the hell I’ve done

Elucidate and face the stars, don’t fuck around with me, say it’s all fun

You say that you’re a cannibal baby, damn, you’re eating out my heart

Don’t choke on my gristles, don’t shock me then say it was for a restart

.

Maybe I’m being assumptive, your paranoid best friend is going insane

I’m a cordial next door neighbour, and I’m just being a bastardous pain

Ironic electricity on your sweaters and the thunder shoes that you wear

You weren’t being cheerful when you let that cyclone catch in your hair

.

Discretion was not your apex marauder, and you pushed me in the moat

You testified for perjury and starved to death and I fed you my scapegoat

A headspace is what I need, thought you’ll clear my skull, not sick up on it

I’d love to interfere in your pathetic dramaticisms, but I got too much shit

.

If psychological pawns are your opiods, guess my hit wore out in one drag

I’m tired of the way I’ll have to confront the ravine if there aren’t any crags

If it’s schematic or systemic, I don’t know, my reputation’s a goddamn mess

I guess you’ll never acknowledge the bromide you slipped me under duress

.

So then fine, let’s play this game, let’s be bitching and stalking with binoculars

If I upset your shriveled tiny soul, you can find me in junkyards declaring war

Just let the alcohol subside, we’ll be as sober as rocks crashing against the tide

I’m glad to have someone to load the ammunition when all my guns have lied.

~*~

I’ll see you at the fucking crossroads
I’ll make you bite through your tongue
When you see who I am today
I’ll make you hate what you’ve done
Cover your tracks, let revenge flood
You’ve made your mark, blood will have blood!

Leave a comment

Filed under Poetry

metal & skin (xxvii.)

fuck you

and your

high-flung

dramatic

opinions

you don’t

know shit

about all this

so just leave

me alone.

Leave a comment

Filed under Poetry

I May Be A Bastard, Baby, But You’re My Blasphemy

After all is said and done
Climb out from the pine box
Well I’m asking you
‘Cause she’s got nothing to say
The angels just cut out her tongue
Call her Black Mariah
Would I lie to you?
That girl’s not right in the brain!

~*~

I’m the desecrate devil

You’re a chemical angel

Damned in fake prayers

But I swear I mean well

Cold tax, burn chlorine

Drowns me in gasoline

Drag knives on my back

And hit me like a truck

My sophisticated alibis

Have no place in a world

Where each lie’s sweeter

And a lie’s in every word

So let’s play a long game

Let the apocrypha begin

We’re both fuck-insane

So you’re not apt to win

Hot shot, scream queen

Drama love, got it mean

Wasted hearts, tough kid

Shit, you’re just so stupid

But of course I’m the fool

For I injected innate rules

Getting high on their rush

System rejected, it passed

This is one ethereal dance

And I have a sprained foot

Lead me across the chance

Against the pain and truth

Hold me, crush me tighter

Baby doll’s too loatheful

Strangle or suffocate her

She won’t swallow anger

Did I lose the apocalypse?

My, what a big revelation

Douse my wings in blood

Lock me in an institution

Trigger cold, feels so safe

Please shoot, please rape

My mind with gun metal

Splatter red on the walls

Then if death do us part

Scream for my old heart

Stab halos on the ceiling

I know you’ll miss feeling

So find me and fuck it all

I didn’t make the last call

Pour me all, have a drink

Don’t stop now, just think

I’m just a desperate devil

You’re my poisoned angel

Don’t say this is all wrong

It was their plan all along

If we’re caught, act at best

We’re innocent, it is a test

If not, confess to perdition

Realise your transgression

Cathedral bells are ringing

Moment of hypocrite litany

The bloodred sky’s opening

The almighty laughs misery

So I’ll do a round of rosary

Excuse me for my old gaffe

Cleaned it with the upstairs

Guess what? He doesn’t care

So why should you? This life’s no winner

Not everyone’s either a cross or a sinner

And good or bad ain’t a two-sided nickel

Oh for heaven’s sake, we all burn in hell

I’m just a roman soldier, don’t die for me

I know I’m the nails that pinned your flesh

But you carried me all the way to Calvary

God damn it, you should have guessed.

~*~

Mass convulsions
Strike the choir
By the grace of God
Gun it while I’m holding on…

Leave a comment

Filed under Poetry

Concrete Shoes

Cling on tight to loose ends
Claim they’re afraid of them, when I tried to save them
I couldn’t do it; vodka tonic breakdowns
Is twenty really that tiring? ‘Cause lately you’re spiraling…

~*~

I was always terrible at hiding the facts

Trace the letters on your fading palms

Baby, seasons change but bloodstreams don’t

We can’t rewrite the eulogy of the fallen sun

My head contacted the cemented floor

I lost track of my concussions, I lost score

These amber lips beating behind my ribs

Smiling ironically on sapphire tears

I’ve gone for days without any hint of sleep

The ghost of you is counting my sheep

Mornings built on bad nights and brown clay

But I’m not afraid to fall and float away

The meltdown we had was not simply sympathetic

And every flaw was a mordancy melodramatic

The situations to face on clashing conversations

Leading chilly glances and leaving for a “vacation”

But you didn’t have to scream at me when everyone was listening

I’ll forgive but not forget, this concrete rain is so paralysing

I’ve got bricks for shoes, and you were the one who tied the shoelaces

But despite the weight, I won’t sink lower than you, and I’ll finally find peace under the currents.

~*~

(It’s like I’m living with)
Concrete strapped to my feet, tossed out into the sea
Why you gotta scream at me when everyone is listening?
Calm down, you’re waving that gun too fast, you’ve got to breathe
How am I gonna talk to you when I’m wearing bricks for shoes?
Yeah, c-o-n-c-r-e-t-e-e, c-o-n-c-r-e-t-e-e, c-o-n-c-r-e-t-e-e, r-e-t-e-e…

Leave a comment

Filed under Poetry