Tag Archives: drown

Ocean Promenades and Transatlantic Daydreams

You’ve gone and sewn me to this bed
The taste of you and me
Will never leave my lips again
Under the blinding rain
I wanna hold your hand so tight
I’m gonna break my wrist
And when the vultures sing tonight
I’m gonna join right in…

~*~

Between you and me

There’s no distance in the middle

The cold war has restarted

So let’s try to be civil

A legal murder;

That’s what you really are

With a smile that can save the

World all on its own

I grit my teeth because that’s

All I can do to just keep holding on

The smoke collides in the sky

Like decanted white wine in a movie

But no one is watching

And nobody’s ending is to die

The walls of this house are paper thin

But so is my pallid skin

I wonder if stars choose to cling to my eyes

And where all their lies begin

I need someone to keep me from

Swallowing a bottle of pills amassed

As I kept the orange lid on

And chewed on the painted glass

You didn’t even try to stop me

From counting days off my chipped nails

And burying my reflection

Your finger is falling off the scale

I fractured my funny bone

As you dragged my ankles in the rain

Maybe I’ve had known my synthetic home

Instead all I have is a lipstick stain

My tears are a suicide silence

Of those evenings I spent swearing that I’ll

Call your paradise up in the morning

Even if it might take me a while

I’d count the salt of the earth

And turn it into sugar on your tongue

I may be out of bounds

But I wasn’t the thief who sold your sun

So say it’s all a criminal act

These handcuffs are killing my wrists

Digging into my scar tissues

As scarred as your haunting lips

The tactless tactics taken

Your elegant eloquences forsaken

Tortured clocks tick the past

It wasn’t meant to last

Another song of bruised dreams

I wanna hold your hand so fucking tight

Your bones will feel my veins scream

And my knuckles will bleed out into the night

Maybe another vodka shot

Will change things, or make it worse

As I threw a boulder on your bedroom window

To tell you I won’t be late for your hearse

It’s a screwed-up mentality

Like kissing a glock gun before I sleep

To trade tranquility for a stranger

And voluntarily fall inside his oceans deep

But just between you and me

I’m already drenched away and sickly

And there’s no place I’d rather drown myself in

Than your empty sea.

~*~

I’ll sing along, cause I don’t know any other song
I’ll sing along, but I’m barely hanging on
No, I’m barely hanging on, by the time you’re hearing this
I’ll already be gone; and now there’s nothing to do
But tear my voice apart…

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Broken Record

It called me, I shoulda known
As the fever sweat through the dream
Told mamma that I couldn’t go
So I could stay home just to watch him dancing
And you could not tell me then
Like you could never ever tell me now
That this is not who I am…

~*~

I lost my way when I told everyone I’m keeping my resolve

I changed directions but hit the brakes when I started to swerve

Blood on the carpet, cracked car window and I don’t regret it

Perhaps it’s just too late, and call me cliché but I just might make it

.

The fever haunts my sleep like a ghost, it keeps me up at night

I’m sweating tears, way past the years of choosing wrong or right

But the final decision won’t be under your static voice’s call

It’s collapsing in weekends and dead ends, need some damage control

.

Reluctance only absolves the manifested consequences it amasses

A separation in the direct degree, as the unread side effects harasses

Querulous impostors screaming diplomatic shrill notes of protests

Drenched to the sin with self-repugnance, scandalising second guesses

.

Those platinum eyes reflect the man submerged in visceral frequency

Staggering the nightmares rushing in my veins, taunting habitual tendency

Show me the alternative to bloodletting and crumpled prescription pills

Embarking to the mistress of a bottle just so time would stand still

.

The blackout makes it easier, ’cause that way I don’t have to look at myself

When the déjà vu is drowning me under familiar sandpits of its miserable help

The taste of being sober, the bitten tongue and the scent of absinthe forsaken

Until I’m too sick and second to none, falling out over and over and over again…

~*~

Showed me that carrot on a string
But just a little too late
The bite from the taste and the smell
Of the sick somehow reminds me to be myself
Over and over again…

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re-drown

we have wound back

to where we all started

zero degrees farenheit

the rain slashes torrents

of the heartbeats that slow

and the blood that boils

into the misdemeanour, as

unforgivable as my vice

.

we have drawn back

to where it all started

a hundred degrees celsius

the circles tracing our steps

of the nerves screaming agony

from the blood that thins into

an unescapable ocean wave

and if there was any way out

let me learn how to swim.

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frustriert

frustration is

falling off like

stars on the ceiling

against the glow

of the bedroom

i find them crashing

with every light

that blinks out

under its own fire

i bite my tongue

hold my breath

and say i’m a liar

so blame me again

indecisiveness pours

like cement in my nerves

and it’s paralysing

hypnotising, suffocating

every slight verve

i’m holding on

but barely enough

to make a change

confusion ensconces

my heart, comforting

yet quite strange

these emotions are

heavy and overwhelming

like a tantrum storm

and frustration is

winning once again as

i’m drowned in scorn.

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Caja de Música

i have broken

all my fingers

trying to count

the countless

nights i’ve spent

spilling tears on

my drowning heart

over the intoxicating

hazy sound of your

music box reveries.

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She Sings Nightmares to the Ocean Waves

Someday I’ll drive, close both my eyes
We’ll swim in circles in the blue lights
And I just want to fade away into the sky under the sea
A million kisses underwater as we walk into the ocean…

~*~

Drive me to the edge

You know I’ll let myself fall

Without any ado or fail

I’m caught up in your gale

Choking on the crumbled stars

Reaching for your guitar

As you paint musical notes

Pastel on my bleached wishbones

To keep my stiff blue nerves

From aching for home

.

This rain won’t stop anytime

A deadly deluge of blood

My lacerated lungs aren’t fine

And my cut wrists are handcuffed

To the screaming moon

I’m sorry I can’t dream for you

The sunset’s far too soon

I have to pay for my wasted crimes

I can’t gnaw on diamond bars

But I swear, I swear I’ll try

.

You say you’re just an animal

With an abyss for eyes

But you look goddamn beautiful

Hiding under my bed tonight

I’m just a pretty monster

Hell, why would I let you go?

I need your beauty to breathe

If you wanted to sink, just say so

I won’t let the air bubbles

Escape my lavender tinged mouth

I’ll twist my knotted fingers

And drift in your undertow south

.

Those ocean flesh tone lips

Look liquid against the lightning

Cold heats aquatic reveries

As we find ourselves ironic smiling

About an eternity of nothing

But somehow under the waves

I’m dying of dehydration

Parched, thirsting only for your

Most frigid of serotonin

I know water will only burn me

Like concoctions of sulphur and sin

.

I’m drowning in my nightmares

Singing of your sweet victory

And splashing your starry sunflowers

From lost days of poignant isolation

In a neverland where I’m happy

So dear, when you shift under the

Blankets and begin to slow

Your breathing, please save it

All for the whispering feather pillow

And bury your quiet laugh

In the silver locks of my tangled hair

Shhhhhhhh…don’t wake me up.

~*~

Do you see me at all under the tall waves?
Do you see me at all?

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Concrete Shoes

Cling on tight to loose ends
Claim they’re afraid of them, when I tried to save them
I couldn’t do it; vodka tonic breakdowns
Is twenty really that tiring? ‘Cause lately you’re spiraling…

~*~

I was always terrible at hiding the facts

Trace the letters on your fading palms

Baby, seasons change but bloodstreams don’t

We can’t rewrite the eulogy of the fallen sun

My head contacted the cemented floor

I lost track of my concussions, I lost score

These amber lips beating behind my ribs

Smiling ironically on sapphire tears

I’ve gone for days without any hint of sleep

The ghost of you is counting my sheep

Mornings built on bad nights and brown clay

But I’m not afraid to fall and float away

The meltdown we had was not simply sympathetic

And every flaw was a mordancy melodramatic

The situations to face on clashing conversations

Leading chilly glances and leaving for a “vacation”

But you didn’t have to scream at me when everyone was listening

I’ll forgive but not forget, this concrete rain is so paralysing

I’ve got bricks for shoes, and you were the one who tied the shoelaces

But despite the weight, I won’t sink lower than you, and I’ll finally find peace under the currents.

~*~

(It’s like I’m living with)
Concrete strapped to my feet, tossed out into the sea
Why you gotta scream at me when everyone is listening?
Calm down, you’re waving that gun too fast, you’ve got to breathe
How am I gonna talk to you when I’m wearing bricks for shoes?
Yeah, c-o-n-c-r-e-t-e-e, c-o-n-c-r-e-t-e-e, c-o-n-c-r-e-t-e-e, r-e-t-e-e…

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Bleed Out

Zero friends
Follow your voice into
A sea of crosses
And blends in with the foxes
Gold and feels like home
Under the surface
My love…

~*~

Stay on the wire

When all the foxes take

Your charm and voices

And never state their causes

Fall nevermore under

The liquid surface now

Hold on to the river inn

You’ll drown alive somehow

But, beware the cross

And the X on your face

The agony fire of the loss

And swallow razor blades

Tonight your broken legs

Will take you on south

Walk the million miles

And we’ll be bleeding out…

.

You’re so fucking cheap

Why don’t you find originality?

You’re so insipid so

Stop with the treachery

I’ll call you out when you’re

Not listening to me

Princess, your pink shame

Is out of style and banality

Drag your heart along

The pavement to soften it

And let the wolves chase

Your rancid acid shit

It hurts like hell, but I’ll

Take my grave and drink

The fall will be safer

If you don’t stop to think

It’s best if we take the

Southward hemisphere about

I’ll stifle your screaming wounds

Before we’re bleeding out…

.

But darling, don’t worry

I’ll forgive your modern rage

When you’re aching for attention

On the walls of floral beige

Do you trust how it feels?

Do you like the taste of air?

The way nails and hammers

Caress your straw doll hair?

So hold my limpid fingers

And leap with my start

Past thorns and the red couch

That keeps us both apart

And we’ll fall past the curtains

And the forest of the green

Tumble like cigarette ashes

On the drains of nicotine

We’ll abuse southern hospitality

The night is ours to steal, no doubt

And before you come and know it

I think we’re both bleeding out.

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The Bleeder And The Sinner

Your words were written in cold blood 
Anatomy of a ghost, invisible friend
I won’t pay for sanity ’cause I don’t want to know
Some things are better left alone…

~*~

I deserve no more no less, for I’ve always been a regular IV hospice bleeder

Aestheticless to the bone, and you were just another veiled catholic sinner

I unraveled my stained ruby bandages to find you whimpering, lost inside

And I thought you’d come out finally from where you’re cowering and hide

But you shackled yourself deep within to the chambers of my aching heart

And it hurts me, and perhaps you as well, when I try to pull you and I apart

So I left you as is, thought this fragile proposition was nice and harmless

‘Til I fell for your sapphire eyes so hard that the ground became bottomless

You’re dragging me down to the bottom of the abyssal lake, under the high glen

I can swim quite well against currents, but your added burden made me sink

So I inhaled the frosty waters, and I drank what’s left of my precious oxygen

Sustaining the life of my frozen heart with my warm soul as I wade in the ink

But you swam away from me cruelly, and tore my beating heart into pieces

Shattered the last vestiges of my dignity, leaving me alone and helpless

No longer can I weep, ma cherie, for crystal tears don’t flow in the undertow

Can you still feel my numb skin when I already can’t, love?…It feels so cold.

I was wounded once but can heal the pain, yet now I’ll be bleeding out forever

As you prowl among the oaken pews, searching for another victim wherever

I used to be just a broken bleeder, and you used to be just some senseless sinner

But corpses can’t bleed out anymore, dearest, and the devil’s always a clear-cut winner.

~*~

It seems
I’m not everything you wanted me to be
In a dream on the way to the hospital I’ll slip away
What’s happening to me?
And as you drag the lake and pull me out
Do you feel the shame inside you?
And as my body lays before you now
Do you feel my skin? It’s cold.

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