Tag Archives: drunk

I’ve Got All This Blood On My Hands (And None In My Body)

Stay out of the light or the photograph that I gave you
You can say a prayer if you need to
Or just get in line and I’ll grieve you
Can I meet you, alone, another night and I’ll see you
Another night and I’ll be you
Some other way to continue, to hide my face…

~*~

I wanna turn your insides to white (say it ain’t so)

So it looks good on my bedroom walls (black, blonde, red)

My heart’s been bleached by the tidal waves (so wash me out)

I wonder if it had any colour at all (maybe not)

.

(So they say that the switchblade is better than the sense)

Well then, let’s see how you look in basketcase drag

(So they say that all this praying won’t make you a saint)

Well then, let’s see how you look when it goes bad

.

It’s not profound or romantic (it’s a mechanical interlude)

And I’m tired of (waiting for) all the infinite eulogies

(And they all put words in my mouth that) make me feel sick

Babe, I just wanted to sever a vein (but you made it plural)

.

(The incineration of another night, the gunshots rang clear

The townspeople screamed as a body fell out of a windowsill

Sirens wailed and ambulances crashed to the beat of my heart

Screaming “fucking save me!”, but it was all a nightmare thrill)

.

‘Cause Magdalene’s desecrated (and her scripture womb) now ain’t sacred

‘Cause all your best friends will only get together when somebody starts to die

‘Cause you can have your fucking funeral but still end up running late for it

(‘Cause you might) say grace all you want and still throw up (pure lies)

.

(Say it ain’t so) I wanna turn your insides inside out

(Black, blonde, red) And end up drunk on your bedroom walls

(So wash me out) My heart’s been drowned off by the tidal waves

(Maybe not) I wonder if it meant anything to you at all.

~*~

And we’ll all dance alone to the tune of your death
We’ll love again, we’ll laugh again
And it’s better off this way
And never again, and never again
They gave us two shots to the back of the head
And we’re all dead now…

Advertisements

Leave a comment

Filed under Poetry

Inebriated

a call came

from the night

when loneliness

was rarely sober

.

it asked if they

needed the stars

and if they could

possibly come over

.

loneliness drank

some stale wine

and stared at the

concerned moon

.

“i never sleep”

was the slurred reply

“i’m afraid that

you arrived far too soon.”

Leave a comment

Filed under Poetry

Pestilence Perpetual

Leave me in the cold, you better run away
I’m gonna dig a hole and bury all the memories we’ve made
I don’t need your condescending, words about me looking lonely
I don’t need your arms to hold me, ’cause misery is waiting on me…

~*~

It’s more than what I wanted, more than what you’d take

Misery’s just another flavour, company’s just another taste

In the palatable infections built to burn our tongues acidic

As sulphurous words are enough for the poisons to inhibit

Our ghosts might go on, but you would have to kill me first

Just to prove that I’m sincere, and that’s better for the worst

Eyes spinning under aerosol plumes, drunk on opiate fumes

More than anything, I stay awake as your parasites consumed.

~*~

I am not alone, not beaten down just yet
I am not afraid of the voices in my head
Down the darkest road, something follows me
I am not alone ’cause misery loves my company…

Leave a comment

Filed under Poetry

Does The City Sleep If Everyone’s Awake?

Drop every pretense, drown every sense you own
For the girl that you love, girl you loathe
Insistent pretext, so what does that make god?
To the girl that you love, girl you loathe…

~*~

Follow home the darkness in the midst of distorted lies

A bellicose pretence that overshadows the most jaded of eyes

Entering, surrendering the only control left to be held back

Indignant morose affability surreptitiously painted black

.

For the girl that you love left her heart in the shadows

She’s keeping it there locked tight and burning the evidence

And the boy of your dreams has a nightmare in his head

He keeps a musket under his pillow for such a circumstance

.

Secrets dripping at the tip of their tongue, are you getting tired

Ain’t it so pretty, the way their drunken minds are wired?

The curtain’s coming down, but the burlesque act continues

And the naked audience and all the masked actors are in on the ruse

.

The flickering streetlamps may not last until the end of sunset

And you may have lost your empty wallet stumbling in a cabaret

Taking profound philosophies from barkeeps, pouring another drink

Don’t know if that sleaze three tables over winked or just blinked

.

Follow home the oncoming intrusion of light in the haze of inebriation

An avaricious pretence that promptly overpowers any realistic temptation

Surrendering the only control that wasn’t there to hold back in the first place

Coruscating affiliations underhandedly leaving hearts without a single trace.

~*~

The girl that you love, girl that you love
Girl that you love knows you don’t
Followed her, followed her
Followed her, followed her home…

Leave a comment

Filed under Poetry

teeter totter teetotaler

“I want devil horns, I wanna breathe in your rush…”

~*~

pour over

like the gin and tonic

you’ve been nursing

this entire night now

saying you’re pathetic

.

throw out

the shame you’ve had

vilifying every notion

and sense of rationality

numbing your emotion

.

break down

like the shattered mirror

in your now-empty pocket

cracking under your weight

saying that you never had it

.

clean in

the disaster you started

with unsteady shaky eyes

and red bloodshot hands

saying it’s all in your head

.

sober up

wasting these days are over

and this escape is peripatetic

whatever you think you took

saying it’s all simply bullshit.

Leave a comment

Filed under Poetry

Six Feet Under, Stars Above

You’re just another set of bones to lay to rest
I guess it’s time to say goodnight
Hope you had a really good time, good time…

~*~

tonight, the sun will go down

along with a million stars into the ground

fading into silent eviction

and every speck i’ll count is but a perception

taste of blood i feel on my tongue

as heavy as the lonesome bed left unsung

muttering the wrong name on my drowsy lips

sharpening the needles of apologies

perhaps it’ll be alright, if i’m able

or perhaps i’ll end up sleeping on the kitchen table

with a Jack and a flat drunk dial tone

picking up where i left off on the disconnected telephone

but i will never forget your infinite sighs

when you whispered softly “we should die in style”

and tonight, when the sun goes down

i’ll be waiting for you, six feet under the ground.

Leave a comment

Filed under Poetry

Friends In Low Places

When July became December
Their affection fought the cold
But they couldn’t quite remember
What inspired them to go
And it was beautifully depressing
Like a street car named Desire…

~*~

Plans unmade, promenade

Of impulsive souls chasing

Both the sun and the moon

Our stomachs hurt laughing

.

Tasting food, staying good

In the company of this five

Swapping songs, going long

We’ve never felt more alive

.

Talking ‘bout all our doubts

And those things that we love

From the sad and the madness

And the things we can’t have

.

Crying out, screaming pain

Letting them know our names

Silent vigils, and lost in sigils

We’re all fucked and the same

.

Don’t depart, take my heart

So let’s join the scarlet parade

Scaring thoughts, there’s a lot

Screw it, let’s all stay up late

.

Breaking dusk, breathing air

From the nightlife we dared

Walking miles, talking styles

Of stories kept in for a while

.

Getting drunk, getting high

Like goddamn fourth of July

Getting sick, getting crazy

We’re just bitches too lazy

.

Drinking milk, buying beer

Two for one, so cheers to here

Shutting down paper towns

Until the time to go is too near

.

Maybe next time we’ll meet

Say the things stuck in our teeth

Promise, breathe once again

I already miss the company then

.

Misadventures with you idiots

Reminding me of why I still try

To get past all my choking pasts

And why I still don’t want to die.

~*~

Oh memories!
Where’d you go?
You were all I’ve ever known
How I miss yesterday
How’d I let it fade away?
Don’t fade away…

Leave a comment

Filed under Poetry

california soul

Stay young and at the top of our lungs
Our hands are free, our lives have just begun!
It’s getting dark, we should go back
But what’s the use if what you love is what you have?
And I could die right now for something beautiful
To take me somewhere else; oh, I try to calm down
As I drag myself along these severed hands…

~*~

stay young

and keep your hands on the gun

don’t move along

and stay for the night

for the dark night that bleeds

in drunken colours

away from everything else

in the picasso paintings we called home

before we calmed down

and stopped severing our songs

so break me down

break down the better parts

that make us scream in the backseat

of crashing red cars

and i won’t run this time

so run me over

i’ll tally up the torques

torture me with tiring promenades

and hand grenades

and alcoholic stories that leave my cheeks numb

and when i pass the fuck out

carry me to my door

like you never promised me before

and i’ll leave you to stare

at the closed windows

throwing brick walls to play fair

just don’t bother with praying

don’t bother me

if the burning sun persists to remind you

don’t listen to the rain

listen to the suffocating hallways

give me what you can take

and if you still think you’ll be sorry

darling, your voice is keeping me awake

so what if i forget regret?

by then i wrote all these apologies

a thousand fucking times now

until i could taste the wounds on my tongue

until my hands are dragged into the ocean

until i don’t know what it means to be alive

what does it mean to breathe?

you lacerated my lungs

and monopolised my oxygen

so i guess i asked the wrong person

and i would do it again

until you love every broken bone in my body

but do you even give a fuck

that it’s cold outside

and all my mutated veins are frozen over

into dismembered accidents

of a lifeless smile?

don’t keep haunting me, darling

texas may be forever but california isn’t

and we could only wish to swim

against inferno summers and dishwater hurricanes

parched throats like a pyromaniac

before we crash on the rocks

and end up losing our bedrooms in the sky

did you fall away?

heaven is yours to plot my demise

when we’re stumbling over west coast clubs

and deadlocked in socal lies

i make the best mistakes to choose

when you’re wearing my lipstick and i’m in your shoes

crying until the lemon groves grow

and turn our memories of encino holidays sour

desecrating sacrilegious in santa cruz

saint anna has nothing left to lose

and los angeles is chanting ooh, la la la

the walk of fame is tipsy

the stars don’t remember their fame

hollywood is getting far too busy

and we’re covered in blood in san francisco

standing by the earthquake’s fault line

trying desperately to find out

which of us pushed the other one

but i’ll remember all the disasters forever

like how we convulsed with laughter

dissecting, exploring our decaying anatomies

relapsing into recovery

dancing circles around the hospital

and never even asking what’s happening to us

as we’re dragged under hispanic dust

dizzying in spin the bottles and betting hack money

ferris wheels and carousels and vomit

confusion reassuring with promises full of shit

the happiest place on earth feels sorry

disneyland’s just a ride away

watching movies at anaheim driveways

falling asleep at the rolling credits

diving into high tide currents of long beach

until one of us drowns deep

and we hid away in sulphur kisses

poignant in mission bay high

crushing red cups in san diego backyards

digging crowns and graves in clairemont for the day we die

so hold your mouth, we’ll be fine

i’ll tell you you’ll be okay, but i would be lying

for romance, for a chance

to entrance the devils pumping blood

for a nonexistent god

for you, for me, for loveless mercy

for love and everything that’s bad in this world

you whisper “baby, i’d kill for you”

oh honey, don’t you see? i’d fucking kill you

i’d count the sugar on your lips

i’d count the stars that collide all over your skin

i’d count all the chemicals that saturate me

when you count the sand on the shore like sweeter sins

soaking me in

breaking me down

until i’m wasted on your voice

until the wine tastes cheap

and until we’re entangled

like grey cobwebs and red tapes

and starving friends preaching eloquence

like our elusive selfish escapes

so please shatter your mirrored soul for me

and i’ll paint them over in stained glass

for the hollow cathedral

we’ll murder our lusted vows in

we both knew this moment would never last

cause i loved your shameless destruction

and that was a fucking mistake

i should’ve loved everything else in your dying eyes, darling

because that was all it would ever take.

~*~

I’m gonna buy a cheap bouquet before it dies on the display
(Gonna break down) Break down the better side of me
(The better side of me) Well I know, I know if I die young
Then we can wake up screaming in your bed
And our lungs are begging us to calm down!

Leave a comment

Filed under Poetry

Fast Nights in Baltimore Bars

I took a walk for the very first time
On the dark side of the dance floor
Lit a match just to heat things up
But I got more than I bargained for
Mixed drinks, mixed feelings of elation
I should have known it was a one night invitation…

~*~

Stomachaches and bloodshot traffic lights

Sessions under the sewers and later nights

Angels drink in the city’s insalubrious pubs

Travesties and immoralities, say it’s all love

.

Cause a scene, say what you mean and dare

They’ll fall asleep, knowing you’re not there

Imbibe a dose of reality, a handful of ativan

Lose all trace of humanity to become a man

.

Locked up behind closets, seven minutes tore

Therapeutic unzipping for the playbook score

Five vodka tonics and a misdialed phone call

Acrid tang of mouthwash and bedroom walls

.

Champion friends turned cutthroat solicitation

Pleasantaries choked in stones and desperation

Prized devil horns mounted above the fireplace

Stories of grandeur stitched and tailored in lace

.

Cutting problems with kiddie scissors and unglued

Riveted jaws hang open, loathes passed like the flu

Bad bickering of dollar bills paid under the counter

Chances of stolen jackets and spiels of spilled water

.

Billboards of painful neons, signs of dim fluorescents

Hundred-storey buildings and pseudo-smiles crescent

And if we die tonight, then we’ll die feeling more alive

If they find our remains tomorrow, again we will dive.

~*~

Don’t sweat it, forget it, everything is a-okay
Just let it, go then it’s, off to find another face
I make you come just to watch you leave
You walk around with my heart on your sleeve
Don’t sweat it, it’s over now, our time ran out…

Leave a comment

Filed under Poetry

From Cathedral Confessionals To Vacant Motel Rooms

Give us this day our daily dose
Of faux affliction, forgive our sins
Forged at the pulpit with forked tongues
Selling faux sermons, cause I am a new wave
Gospel sharp, and you’ll be thy witness
So gentlemen, if you’re gonna preach
For God’s sake, preach with conviction!

~*~

Prayers at the pulpit, wasted sunlight stalked in grey

Cunning trick and guileful guilt trip theatrics at play

Cavalier coronary effusion, witnesses plead the fifth

The parish resident contradicts, as all the crosses lift

.

Glory conceived in savage strokes of bloodied wines

My conviction is an eviction, tell a jury lies this time

Plagued with gunslingers, spinsters, character shady

Debonair diner apparels, wrinkled trousers, humility

.

The constabulary and congregation condemned revolt

My empirical altruism’s the new cancer, neglect faults

Burlesque shame accentuating formaldehyde intimacy

Asbestos lips, flimsy camisole fumbled simultaneously

.

Tenant engaged medical malpractice, his landlord buys

Epileptic gloating and impertinence, furlough play nice

Sartorial sarcasm and wills held against the desperation

Divorcees eavesdrop on prudent prudes, commiseration

.

Perfumes and newspaper advertisements crying of weddings

Massacring a breathalyser, scotch in prefaced elevator scenes

A paperback syndication concealing secret wretched incident

The allegations made by schizophrenics held to be significant.

~*~

Strike up the band! Whoa-oh, the conductor is beckoning
Come congregation, let’s sing it like you mean it
No, don’t you get it, don’t you get it? Now don’t you move
Just stay where I can see you, douse the lights!

Leave a comment

Filed under Poetry