Tag Archives: entertainment

first act, insanity; next stop, recovery

“I never meant to hurt nobody
I never meant to hurt you, no, no…”

~*~

acrid laughter is ringing in my ears

good-natured, perhaps, to them

but the sound pierces like twisted barbed wires

straight through the caliginous corners

of my teeth, bared like a regurgitated heart

and almost—if not just as—crimson

as the fucked-over severity in my demented head

but sometimes it feels good to simply pretend

that the banter is a little less than risque

and i let my agitation be fooled…what an idiot.

as i’m sorry plays like a stenographic record

etching deeper grooves in the back of their stares

but never playing the right kind of music

am i screaming a typhoon in your clear day parade?

i’m sorry. i’m sorry. i’m sorry. i want to cut it out

i want to cut my fingers open to point it out

and take all the sharp-edged blame all for myself.

but my testy temper rides on the flexible bullet

severely mutilating this nascent entertainment

that masqueraders and pantomimists have played

for the melancholic, esoteric, plastic actor

and you insisted on applause and receptivity

despite my initial protests against it all

for i am not your contagious chemistry audience

but i surrender my scab blood to you anyway

and keep clapping on and on until my hands fall apart

like a marionette’s lamenting swan song;

like this borrowed skin that sheds itself as we speak.

their laughter is mutating into vicious sneers

stabbing like blunt edges of a mangled fountain pen

and making me grit my shattered teeth—

your fogged-over eyes interpreting it as a smile

amused, but i’m simply bemused by my endurance.

i’m tired. i’m tired. i’m so fucking tired.

of the teasing testing taking terrors tampering

with my dysfunctional mood, its revolution ever retrograde…

it’s not your fault. did i ruin your sunshine again?

i’m sorry. i’m sorry. i’m so fucking sorry.

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Stressed or Sad (and Turn Out the Lights)

I brought a knife to a gunfight
I brought my words to a fistfight
I brought my hell to you
And now the boys are back
The boys are sad…

~*~

Let’s talk it it out and let’s talk too loud

And spare our breakdowns for the times it’s not allowed

Deprived of oxygen and choked off to sleep

But I’ll stay awake with you, I guess it’s what we need

‘Cause I may not be the best company but I know a thing or two

About being selfish and pretending to be a happy blue

The clever words and rhetorics make us laugh half to death

Drowning our worries in coffee until it’s dangerous to our health

Because it’s times like these when bitter tastes best

And the yonder moonlight is too delicate to get any deeper rest

But I’ll draw some stars and you can paint them in embers

With what’s left of the sky, we’ll write about what we can remember

We’ll scream about our addictions like loose patients in an asylum

Of the southern boys and houston beats until we’re both tired and dumb

I’ll sing a song out of tune, and your echoes fade to shadows

This is the art of somniphobia, we’re good as we are not tomorrow

Tonight we’ll starve the nighthawks and dehydrate the nadirs of melancholy

Until the petulant sunrise glowers at us for being too damn noisy

We were never meant to stay high in a world that’s not designed for the broken

But let calming music glow in your bones, we’ll be entertained until then.

~*~

You’re so cold
I’ve got to know what made you so
Scared to be alone?
I’ve got to know who chilled your bones
That wasn’t me…

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Gloom Boys in Natural Blue

I have candy floss over my eyes, and no one can ever take that away from me.

I’m a double dare away from jumping into the clouds and getting lost in heaven, and even though their motionless lips tell me otherwise, imploring that the despondent sun will burn my frail skin and my charred cape will drag me back down into the ground, I’ll simply fly over them and defy what it means to be human.

For being an angel is not made of mere matchsticks and febriculic feathers, rather, it is the catastrophic sensation of breathing in your existence from your lungs and never letting it go, holding your oxygen in so tight that your chest will hurt, and tasting the very molecule that the wind is built up of, all before exhaling heavily and letting others share the light that passed the very chambers of your symphonic heart, and inhaling that decadent love once more like it’s the only sugar high you need.

I’ll be dancing a hundred footsteps as I reverently play the halo’s mellifluous beat around my head over and over again, but I shall never get tired of laughing and listening, and the glow never fades, the glow never coalesces into a darker retrospect of aspirations and bad habits, the glow is etched at the very back of my confounded head and if I close my eyes and wish a little softer, I can see pastel whispers floating and resonating behind my dreams, smiling quietly as it tells me fairy stories about twill reveries and acrylic oneirism.

Will you tell me that much? Will you beg in blazing yellow and speak in purple hand grenades, waking up again when the water parks detonate and soothing water splashes everywhere? This is not my gloomy lullaby meant to be kept under hushed tones and clandestine affinities, buried under the bones of ‘92, rather it is an everlasting caprice that is meant to be jubilantly shouted from the rooftops, until the nightingales and mynas and bluejays and hummingbirds mimic the colours in my eyes and echoes back a chromatic rainbow to be chased.

Am I not making any sense, or is the semblance of my self-optimistic throes withdrawing like violent ocean waves? It is not their fault, and it certainly isn’t mine. It’s yours. It’s all yours. This nonsensical tirade making me backlash the usual defamation that is my wretched soul, making me passionate for what used to be desert sand and black light, now efflorescent flowerbeds and ultraviolet ecstasy, making me smile and laugh childishly at the most fickle of things like a madman staring limerently into the cornflower moon. You let a playful cyclone into my bedroom while I was sleeping, and it ravaged my closet and spun me all the way to your window until I was sickly dizzy, and you held your hand out to steady me and pulled me in, winking cheekily at the cyclone and returning its breezy grin before waving it goodbye.

Now that I’m here, will you promise to keep me? Airplane conversations and clustered entertainment isn’t enough to leave me amused. Are you laughing at my sadness yet? Are you performing odes along to me mournfully singing about the underhanded depression that makes me mad all the time and fucks my worried flurried mind up when the night is young and makes me go down the long road home? I’m a car crash that you can’t ever look away from, and I can’t ever look away from you. But don’t follow me to the site of the wreck. If your favourite set of stairs is the one up to my room, piece together the trail of love notes I left in the kitchen that say it all, and when you find me, I won’t ever have to let you go up. Let’s be lucky people, you and me.

Amid tantrums and crybabies, you’re nothing but rare. I may not be a warrior and you may think I’m the worst, but I know I don’t have to sleep alone again. So won’t you stay awake, stay awake for me? If you’re singing about la-la-la-love, my tune is more to the beat of a la-la-la-lobotomy. You’re my yellow lovely jealousy, in natural blue and viridian green memories, I’m losing my mood in a late night phone call, shading everything else from silver to pink to hiding under porches and craving territorial phantasms, it doesn’t matter. My common sense is powerless when you speak, and I’m not royal but I’m stupid for you, and 11:11 can go away because I don’t wish for anything else. I’m tired. You’re tired. Let’s be tired together. It’s more fun that way, don’t you think?

I have gloomy clouds over my eyes, and only you can ever take that away from me.

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Entertainment on the 411

Give me a break ’cause I can’t take
Another second, you’re a fucking headache
I ain’t got time to change your mind
How can I move you when you’re stuck in your ways…

~*~

Crawl on your knees and fake a breakdown

In front of me, ‘cause you’re just so adept at that

What you believe is an unpopular opinion

You make me want to spit on my open-wound slats

Just for fun, and then do it again

.

Don’t tell me that this cruelty was what I needed

But sure enough, everyone needs a fucking lie to lead

And if you can’t fix me, hold my head underwater

Cut me open with your tongue, maybe then I’ll feel better

Just for fun, and then do it again

.

If it’s a carousel, it’s spinning without gravity

If it’s a rollercoaster, I won’t hold on to the metal bars

Fling me into open space, not wide enough to contain your insanity

Because if this life is a cheap-thrill ride, then fuck it sweetheart

But I’m afraid that you won’t be going too far

Just for fun, can we do it again?

~*~

You’ll see it, you’ll see it
And you’ll see it when you believe
Yeah, hell yeah, you make me wanna
Slit my wrists and play in my own blood…

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Into The Nothing

Screaming on the inside, I am frail and withered
Cover up the wounds that I can’t hide
Walls that lie between us, the saint within the sinner
I have lost the nerve but it’s all right
Carry the wounded and shut your eyes…

~*~

A temporary twinge that sets back shadows

In the illumination of a thousand stars

Exhaustion slithering surreptitiously again

Impatient risks and one-sided grumbling wars

.

I could feel my heartbeat like a dulled knife

Chiseling my heart with a steady thump thump thump

Until all that’s left to carve away is ivory spine

Break the barricade with silencers and loaded guns

.

The imbibed bourbon as heavy as indebted money

And the cold turns into an unyielding freeze

Fingers tapped, reduced to painting bloody nibs

From trite entertainment that’s built on a transient lease

.

Distractions won’t sideswipe the prior chagrins

Vanilla ice cream is tasted again and again until it’s boring

And the sweetness turns my grimacing teeth numb

Suffocating on shaky breaths and nitrogen, I’ll succumb

.

Despite the ringing laughter, something still feels rather off

I shouldn’t be aching, I shouldn’t be alienated, I should be better

But instead I feel like a small plastic toy piece on the board

And before I know it, the cards are flipped, it’s game over, and I lost.

~*~

Into the nothing, faded and weary
I won’t leave and let you fall behind
Live for the dying, heaven hear me
I know we can make it out alive…

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Party Games

A fun old party for the child

Who loves to be unruly, wild

Noose streamers strewn all

Hats to impale, and roll call

.

So let’s start, musical chairs

Pull mine out, say it’s all fair

How about blind man’s bluff?

Keep me stumbling, ha, laugh

.

Pin the blame on the donkey

And make an ass out of me

Spin me around and around

You’re good at that anyhow

.

But don’t you keep that pout

Come on, the party’s hot led!

Whack me like I’m the piñata

Bash bats on my paper head

.

Spin the bottle next, nice one

Spill the beans, make kids run

Bottle, bottle, who’s the worst?

It always points along my girth

.

Want cheaper entertainment?

You hire me to be your clown

Throwing shit pies in my face

Attempting to make me frown

.

I wipe the last of seltzer water

Oh, are the party games over?

All the humiliation over with?

It’s time for the candy shower!

.

And when the cards are read

Plastic plates then prepared

Ice cream makes teeth ache

Here it comes, the final break

.

Presents unwrapped in one take

It’s your party, your childish sulk

But I’ve got arsenic in your cake

So go and blow the candles out.

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Silent Laughter (or, Some Habits Stay The Same)

These nocturne stays

Information highways

Midnights sure spent

Bridled entertainment

Film reel after film reel

Of shallowest humour

Caricatures and reacts

Of both joy and horror

Chuffed convulsions

Paroxysms of delight

Coned cacchinations

A euphoric teary-eyed

Attempting to conceal

Biting down with mirth

Or contained laughter

‘Til lungs almost burst

In a room of reposing

It’s a minefield I’ll risk

Nostalgia at old days

When it felt like magic.

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★ pretend ☆

♫•*¨*•.¸¸♪

let’s pretend

wear our masks

to start the play

of plastic flasks

let’s put a pierrot

smile and crack

the guard and to

fake lost attacks

let’s make puppet

speak funnily

make them laugh

at tragedy

let’s marionette

and dance a tune

burn our feet

into the moon

let’s paint a clown

into contrary

when they find him

quite so scary

let’s make jester

balance on balls

and applaud when

he thus falls

let’s harlequin a

small story for you

the ending’s bad

but it is true

let’s mime an act

of monochrome

make you believe

in invisible tones

let’s be fools and

scaramouches and

buffoons and comics

and madcaps, worst best

for a night of revelry

and entertainment hot

let us all pretend to be

someone we are not.

♫•*¨*•.¸¸♪

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Filed under Poetry, Southern Constellations

Panem et Circences: Act Two

[SOFT MUSIC BOX INTERLUDE]

[INTERMISSION]

Hey, you seated comfortably? Got your bag of pork rinds and/or sandwich? GREAT! I need you to sing-a-long! It’s a sing-a-long, this next song. Even if you’re in your underwear, sing loud and proud! Now, if you don’t know the lyrics, just follow the bouncing pug head! It’ll show you the way! Now uh, don’t follow the red star. That will give you the wrong lyrics, and completely ignore the chihuahua head. Just the pug, all right? Then we’re good to go! Without any further ado…

~*~

[CIRCUS MUSIC RETURNS]

[SPOTLIGHT SHINES BRIGHTER]

[RINGMASTER BLOWS ON WHISTLE]

[SECOND SET OF ACTS WALK IN]

[START OF ACT TWO]

~*~

[FOSSOR]

Bulbous nose, cream-smeared face

Misfit clothes, rag factory explosion

Some may laugh at me, but I’ll raise

Most are still terrified of this clown.

~*~

[EFFUGIUM]

Chaining me up in leaden shackles

Confined in the claustrophobic box

Or in a tank of water with manacles

I will always emerge free, unlocked.

~*~

[LIBRAMEN]

Swinging from bar to bar, ad infinity

Lithe somersets of graceful trickery

Catch me, take my hand, I will hold

Flying is fun for I know not to let go.

~*~

[MAGNUS]

Amaze, enthrall, smoke and mirrors

Entering phantasmagorical horrors

A pledge, turn, prestige, I’m the face

Of illusions, I never cease to amaze.

~*~

[MAGISTER]

Ultimate act of the ringmaster’s performance

Stovepipe hat tipping, welcome to the show

I’ve no oddities, yet the linchpin of the circus

Conducting exhibitions akin orchestra maestro.

~*~

[VALE]

Ladies and gentlemen, we hope you enjoyed the show

I wish we had more, but goodbye, it’s time for us to go

We hope you gripped your seats, cheered and laughed

And most of all, our bread and entertainment filled you and got you to clap.

~*~

[CHARACTERS TAKE A FINAL BOW]

[UPROARIOUS APPLAUSE]

[CIRCUS MUSIC FADES]

[SPOTLIGHTS FLICKER OFF]

[DISEMBODIED LAUGH]

[END OF ACT TWO]

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Panem et Circences: Act One

[CRESCENDO SOUNDS OF LIVELY CIRCUS MUSIC]

[SPOTLIGHT SHINES]

[RINGMASTER WALKS IN AND BOWS]

[POLITE APPLAUSE]

[START OF ACT ONE]

~*~

[SALVE]

Rings of fire flaring higher illuminates death defying acts

Pretty odds and ends, and recherché entertainment akin

Strangest characters of colours and remarkable knacks

So sit back and relax ladies and gentlemen, we’re about to begin…

~*~

[CERNUUS]

Pull the red carpets under my feet

In your mischievous act of assault

But my dearest, I shall defy gravity

And impress you with a somersault.

~*~

[LEO DOMITOR]

I find myself in the company of lions

But they find themselves at my mercy

A crack of a whip, jaws unhinge upon

As I peer down their gullet in bravery.

~*~

[FUNAMBULUS]

Traipsing quaintly on a thin wire

A hundred feet fall underneath lies

Lest I lose balance and I fail dire

At least it gives me a chance to fly.

~*~

[PARMA]

Strapped and spinning on a target

Sharp daggers nearly pin me down

A sinew, skin will pierce and bleed

But I won’t flinch—risk makes it fun.

~*~

[VIR GLADIUM]

Instead of swallowing the sword

And following their twisted acts

I’ll spit it out my mutilated throat

Instead and I’ll use it to fight back.

~*~

[PRELIMINARY ACTS EXIT]

[SPOTLIGHTS DIM]

[CIRCUS MUSIC SEGUES]

[MUSIC BOX INTERLUDE PLAYS]

[END OF ACT ONE]

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