What good is a life
When you live it ashamed?
I dream just to be halfway
But all I am is a product of
Wasted efforts and best intentions…
I should have let the rope hurt me
Before I let it fully embrace my breathing
I covered the hope with a black curtain
So I wouldn’t have to see disappointment again
What did I expect? That it would disappear?
That I have everything to gain and nothing to fear?
I fought against reason and wasted my life scared
Asking for every idle chance from a god that wasn’t there
Now they all smile sympathetically and say it’s okay
You weren’t the ones that failed, so how would you know?
Every inch of comfort is uncomfortable and sickening
And every movement from the side is insanely slow
I should have seen it coming, and damn it, I really thought I had
But my head is stubborn and twenty doses of stupid, and I wanted it bad
I act like I’m so clever and apathetic, when all I am is pathetic
I never wanted to let you down, but I did…I fucking did.
We do this while you start wondering
If disaster is what you’re built for
Will I slowly learn to accept
That I won’t have more than a life on the sidelines
Or will I always be dreaming
Of liking life from the darkness alone?