Tag Archives: fair

Febfair {Diliman}

PicsArt_02-18-09.12.53

I woke up this morning

with blisters on my tired arms

and wilted grass blades and mud stains

stuck all over my filthy trousers

my throat dry, red eyes throbbing,

a giant pandemonium of a headache

swelling triumphantly in my brain

so I staggered to the bathroom

where the mirror replayed memories

of us screaming elatedly on dizzying rides,

walking about blinded by neon lights,

picking out cheap food from every

stall that we chanced to pass by,

taking blurry photographs with the widest

grins plastered on our sweaty faces,

telling cheeky stories against the noise

of both rock concerts and chattering crowds,

and secretly stalking our smitten friend

around like a bunch of nosy, giggling idiots—

and finally half-drunkenly weaving across

dark street ends after midnight (though we didn’t

have a single drop of alcohol in our systems)

stars barely visible, shoulders interlocked

the whole way back, middle fingers up

to your late night curfew, and we hugged it

out goodbye, silently wishing under our breaths

that the other one wouldn’t leave just yet…

jolted back to the present, I stared at my

trainwreck of a face and decorated party tattoos

and decided, with a wistful smile,

that I have never felt this good.

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Febfair

Pondering all alone

Sitting with cold grass

Between curled fingers

And unfinished coffee

Making lips quite sticky

My unplugged earphones

Afraid to make sounds

.

Myriad stands flickering

With flashes of neon colours

Selling dresses and candy

And music and rowdy revelry

But just tell me, Mr. Vendor

Please, where can I buy

Someone to walk with tonight?

.

The crowds passing by

Friends, family, familiarity

Cheering, laughing, enjoying

When there is none for me

Surrounded by old strangers

White noise for humming ears

White noise for sad eyes

White noise in my tired mind

.

From thinking about eternities

Until there is nothing but space

Lost and loved and lost again

An unsent greeting hovering

Anxiety creeping and crawling

As I patiently wait for a person

Who doesn’t even exist at all.

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Keep It Going, We’re Nearly Out

Least I’ve been looking
Real-faced on my side
Still don’t know how
To be all in the mind
All in my mind
It’s what you would want…

~*~

You’re bringing me down

But enough is enough

I’ve got some good rounds

Now I’ll call out your bluff

.

Spit a tooth and some lungs

Minutes before it’s all over

Say they call me high-strung

But I always blow my cover

.

Just to win their way to lose

Just to dance around the noose

Just to decorate another bruise

And leave the coroners confused

.

I’ll bring myself down now

It’s a game of its own entirely

You’ve had your sadistic fun, now

It’s time for that bland apology

.

Because it’s just only fair for us

To keep our busted bones locked

When it’s all over and overdone

There’d be no space left for a gun.

~*~

Looking real spaced in my eyes
I don’t know how to be
Here all the time
You know that I was
I was ready to be alone…

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pseudonym [8]

am i the letdown that shook the foundation of their worries?

never did it to myself, but it seems i only ever did it to please

distichs and dead ends weren’t enough to keep me occupied

you left me spent, the choice i made just leads to a shortsight

.

callous, beguiling, simpleminded, though blindly overdramatic

indelible yet impossible, a performative living that feels emetic

zipped-up lips and narcolepsy hide a contraband of nightmares

embarking past columned spines, still seeking hope in nowhere

kept only by the promises disgraced—perhaps it was never really fair.

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[c]lose

your heart is open

or so you proclaimed

you swallow tears whole

and say it’s fair game

.

your mind is open

but every part’s closed

and you blame the unspoken

with your dull overdose.

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La Bella Fantasia

“I swear that I can hear you in the wind…”

~*~

little phantasmic phantoms dance about

growing flowers at the garden of my mind

waiting to pluck out each bluebell and daisy

to fashion the wreaths into something kind

the playful zephyr is a fair weather friend

lulling each berceuse to sleep until the end

orbit sending me high into the atmosphere

but i won’t fall, no—i have nothing to fear

listening to the cherry blossoms that hide

in the boroughs where there’s a tinkerbell bride

and the mystical creatures would understand

with every speck of dust, a magic that enchants

.

but the delphi hearts and oracular tongues

speak of stories and brier thorns that selfishly clung

to innocent naivete still stubbornly preserved

though only to the pristine youth that it deserves

the wily eyes staring into the darkness osiris

as the nettles grow wild prevent cogent dreams

they scoured the atlas looking for eternal citadels

the nondescript pangs unaware of incarnate bevels

shrines that i pray to now submerged in irascible sins

incoherent adages leaving bruised indentations within

will the pixies be daunted? will the elves repatriate?

Quietly accepting the moiety of their unfortunate fates?

.

but beneath the black and white of underground paradise

is a fair place for scathing asters and aureole mirth alike

beyond the curlicues of charcoal smoke that paint the stars

a gossamer love decays, recording a dictaphone of past wars

in an imbroglio of lotuses, past the wafting scent of sandalwood

on the horizon, a transit of venus, a crescent smiling platitude

thoughts as crystal clear as seaglass, reflect candid illusions

show a bouquet from the spectres, a plethora of guiling ruminations

amid the taste of camphor and lead, i return to lacklustre reality

wondering and pondering when i’ll get lost again in my crafted fantasy.

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Cheap Cancer For Exclusive Humanity

Oh, give me a break you deluded, ill-informed, self-serving prick
If you really believe in the words that you preach
Get off your screens, and onto the streets
There will be no peaceful revolution! No war without blood!
You can say I’m just a fool, that stands for nothing!

~*~

It’s a mindless transaction

For the ones in creation

They think you’ll warm the cold

But everyone wants to change the world

It’s questionable

Everyone’s too cynical

And too miserable

And too in love with the concept

To change for respect

But don’t you love the drama?

The little girls filled with paranoia?

The boys injecting heroin

A systematic failure of clever machines

No one’s wide awake

We’re all sleepwalking on a tightrope

With bloodshot eyes shut

Pretending to believe in hope

But while we’ll all here

Where nothing’s transparent or clear

Let’s swallow reality’s bullshit

And make the most out of it

The sweet melodrama

The crippling asthenia

The jerks in your bed

All the cunts you wish dead

Let them sing

Let them sing

Let them sing…

You couldn’t do a goddamn thing!

.

We’re all too fucked to care

Busy with what to wear

If their makeup is on straight

Or if the bastards are staying up late

Corrupted bodies

Lying in wasteland sceneries

As drunk as blowflies

As sober as their endless lies

And the sun won’t stay

To witness their rapid decay

Hallelujah, baby

You won’t live to see another day!

It’s an arrogant escape

We’re selfishly murdering for our sake

But we succumb and give in

Just to drown in our sins

To the ways of the crooked

The drink of the dead

Surrender the blood on your hands

No one will understand

The happiness

That don’t exist

We’re all a mess

We’re fucking sick

We’re falling in sin

We’re falling in sin

We’re falling in sin…

You couldn’t do a goddamn thing!

.

So go the fuck to hell

I’ll be there soon in fifteen

Angels don’t live to tell the tale

Of the genocide scene

Humanity be damned to heaven

We all cheat and say it’s even

Nothing is fucking fair

Burn in the fires of disrepair

Shadows come to whisper

Your demise in a bruise and blister

I’m waiting for the finale

The asylum’s about to go crazy

It’s almost blandly pathetic

This modern-age love is synthetic

But this disease and chaotic

Sounds grotesquely symphonic

A perfectly flawed design

To steal what can never be mine

And if this is what eternity is

Then paradise must reek of shit and piss!

The cheap mentality

Of human rationality

We’re all so sedentary

You ain’t so special, honey

The walls are caving in

The walls are caving in

This world is caving in…

But fucking shut up and give in

Bitch, you couldn’t do a goddamn thing!

(Shit.)

~*~

United, we’ll fail, divided, we’ll fall, united, we’ll fail
We’re fucked, but you’re making it worse!
Middle fingers up, if you don’t give a fuck!
I’m sick to death of swallowing every single thing I’m fed
Middle fingers up, if you don’t give a fuck!
You think you’re changing anything?
Question everything!

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A Pontificating Performance

Today I fell and felt better
Just knowing this matters
I just feel stronger and sharper
Found a box of sharp objects
What a beautiful thing
Do you want a song of glory
Well I’m fucking screaming at you…

~*~

There isn’t a need to stick

Your sanctimonious wooden nose

High up and mighty in the air

For you reckon you’re so clever

And a marvellous timely troubadour

With your prevarications of despair

Oh, special, pretty, little white flower

The crowds adore your recherché

And a flounce of your plaited hair

But your hagiographic glass eyes and

Pinocchio nose impales mendacity

The audience bleeds whenever you share

Soon they will disperse haughtily

Leaving your stage in its desolation

And next time no one would give a care

So pray not be quite presumptuous

And see all sides of the icositetragon theatre

When you’re performing to be fair.

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Ad Hominem

I’m thinking of my soul’s sovereignty,
And I know everything you hate in me
Fill me up with over-pious badgerings
To throw them up, one of my favorite things…

~*~

We’re just poking around, having a bit of mischievous fueled fun

So don’t you cry now sweetie, don’t let your precious makeup run

No personal attacks, this is simply some friendly banter

Come now dear, that tepid smile of yours is revealing your pent-up anger

Why is your face violently heliotrope? Has your wounded soul had enough?

If you were so sensitive, you shouldn’t have entered the line of fire, love

Honestly though, be far from it for me to stifle your amazing flair

But remember darling, in the game of love and war and persiflage, all is fair.

~*~

…Too bad the things that make you mad
Are my favourite things!

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