Tag Archives: fall

Wicked Halo

I was used to rejection, but not from the sky

Angels ejected me out of the clouds for a lie

Both wings were fractured, my halo dimmed

But I can promise you that this wasn’t my sin

They call me fallen, I’ll call them in expletives

I saw paradise, and it wasn’t all that exclusive

All shades of purity, all hues of vestal virginity

And in other words, it’s the most perfect ennui

I was extinguished, just another star left to die

But now I’m careening down, set to destroy life

You will ask, did it hurt when you fell from heaven?

But I was never there in the first place, so try again.

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Throwing Cheap Bouquets by Juliet’s Balcony Stage

Please won’t you push me for the last time
Let’s scream until there’s nothing left
So sick of playing, I don’t want to anymore!
The thought of you’s no fucking fun
You want a martyr, I’ll be one
Because enough’s enough, we’re done!

~*~

Abandoned brains dripping on the cold spiral staircase

My crumpled train station tickets wiped them all away

The nights were as sober as 5 AM Jack on the rocks

Reset reverse repose and smash a hammer on the clock

.

You’re like a spoke in my heart, like nails through my teeth

Let’s slow down the sound of pain, ’cause you taste so sweet

I’m like the chlorine in your skin, like the poison in your cure

Maybe I’ll inject the moonshine once again just to be sure

.

You’ll never see my face in the movies as you always should

But babe it’s tough to dwell on the surface of Hollywood

Endgame of a bloodless artery, and I’m the rebel subsidiary

I’m the heart attack in your nightmares until you wake me

.

Am I confusing? Or complex? Am I the nuclear home you wrecked?

Are you the cannonball that hurtled past and broke clean my neck?

Breaths frosting over glass like a harsh blizzard in the winter

If I’m the martyr dying on a cross, then maybe you’re the sinner

.

You mixed suicide in my bloody scotch and you left me to rot

If I’m jumping off the bridge, then you’re my second thoughts

You’re the puppy crush love and I’m the old dog you put down

You hanged me by my collar in the gallows with a silent frown

.

We were screaming at each other in the most perfect harmony

If you were crying or laughing at the end of the line, I can’t see

You dosed my soul with whiskey and you sang a metal lullaby

And when I passed out from the hate, you crept out, no goodbye

.

So listen, wake the fuck up! Who the hell are you to die on me?

If you’re searching for some peace eternal, then I guess I’m sorry

I wrote your name on my mutated wrists with a blunt safety pin

And the scars on my lips won’t fade away anytime soon, darling

.

So don’t you go away now! Who the fuck are you to fall apart on me?

The razor blades in my throat won’t be swallowed with your fake sorry

This turbulent liquid passion made us crash on the tides and capsize

But if there’s a heaven waiting baby, then it won’t have a place for your lies—!

~*~

You told me think about it, well I did
And I don’t wanna feel a thing anymore
I’m tired of begging for the things that I want
I’m over sleeping like a dog on the floor
Imagine living like a king someday
A single night without a ghost in the walls
We are the shadows screaming take us now
We’d rather die than live to rest on the ground!
Shit.

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Nights Forfeiting Old

You perceive that I feel cold

And the moon is liquid gold

Against the satin stitch fold

I fit like a labyrinthine mold

But don’t let me die for scold

Constellation rivulets in bold

The walls are falling, I’m told

Don’t let me melt in your hold.

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Downtown Dreams

Is it less picturesque than planned?
Here in the car with empty hands, no one’s holding
When I glance at you with a glimpse of blue
Should we go downtown?

~*~

Ravines of green, shorelines of lavender

Hotels of a carpark and chlorine waters

Photos of cherry blossom, us overhead

Tongue tied in hot balloons, hush friend

Downtown abbeys, roads of esoteric tar

Let us sleep tonight and count the stars

And the monsters hurtling from the sky

That will detonate with an escaped sigh

A plastic town with papercrafted people

Melting buildings on the sidewalk pools

Shreds of dreams torn off from the skin

Left under the sewers, no one will listen

Don’t chase the city, don’t you melt away

Don’t shatter clavicles to run from today

That concrete love will only be your wall

It will not be there to catch you if you fall.

~*~

Are we chasing cars in our sleep?
Clinging to a plastic fantasy…

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Defunct

Well-oiled like

Thirsty machines

But

        f

          a

              l

                 l

                    i

                       n

                           g

a  p   a    r      t

like rusty buildings.

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Filed under Poetry

Broken Li[n]es

Injustice in ancient summer plays

Of just two proud feathers wired

Both refusing to be ruffled

By the zephyr that transpired

Just two proud idiots

Who can’t pick up the pieces

Thinking it will hurt them bad

They don’t wanna play hostess

So they just step on it instead

And fucking bleed out dead

Carving stars into their throats

On the razor blades they choke

You ask to forget it all forever

Why, what’s so good about it?

It’s nothing but stupid lies

Inject your usual ante of shit

Accentuate your faults and pose

We’re both the victims here

And don’t you miss the arrogance

The thrill, tasting that fear?

The conversations that ravelled

About the scars that don’t give a damn

None of it even mattered

But at least there was someone

So please don’t let me forget the days

I don’t want to simply erase it all

But if it’s that easy for you to blot it out

Maybe it was best for the mirror to shatter and fall.

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Cinderella Stars

You’re busy drawing hearts
You run your fingers down the glass
An open mirror
Now you’re sleeping in the front seat
Like a crushed leaf on the concrete night—
Tonight the center of the sun will separate in sparks
They’re climbing up the sky and down the dark…

~*~

Just let the sky fall one more time

Kiss my Cinderella stars goodnight for me

It’s a stubborn weather, but baby it doesn’t matter

There’s a rule in my tongue and a reverie

We never chased—we collided angrily

All that vitriol, it hurts under the skin to see

You were always late for the crystalline ball

The stiletto shards lodged in the eventide hall

But we’ll play dress up with crowns and monarchy

The night is sempiternal, never ending at twelve

Hold your fairy close, pumpkin, don’t be sorry

This is only a tale mended by rats and elves

Maybe the clock will rewind back to the 70’s

Under moonlight, you’ve never looked so sublime

So kiss my Cinderella stars goodbye for me

And let the sky fall one more time.

~*~

Now we broke another bracelet
Tore it off your wrist tonight
And now that Cinderella’s gone
She swallowed up the sun
A middle-class explosion would be nice
If we’re the dynamite…

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Calypso Syndrome

It’s strange, this calypso.

I never minded it much at first, dismissing it airily as one of those Muzak or background noises that you never really notice until it becomes an unbearable itch, and only then do you start paying attention to it. But in a rather unusual case, this itch of mine grew all the more inflamed, and eventually my skin opened into bleeding sores that are unable to heal. By that time I can no longer simply wrap it with gauze and bandage and pretend it wasn’t there, waiting patiently for it to close into scars on its own accord. And the poisonous tune in my wounds began to affect not just my veins, but my neurones as well. And for a pleasantly tintinnabulum orchestration, it surprisingly hurts.

The calypso comes and goes with thrums of drumbeats and ludicrous whistling and other intertwining instruments that I am unable to disentangle from one another to properly identify, and though I must admit it’s a finessed, almost elegant tune, it’s also making me conjure the queerest of surrealistic denominations and distorted, perplexing thoughts from out of nowhere, sort of like a surrogate deconstruction, an impermeable derealisation, but gradually worse in the long run. Somewhere at the back of my mind I picture cowboys with revolver guns and Stetson hats, mounted on horses and kicking dust and desert tumbleweeds everywhere, and I’m the unlucky pilgrim that got caught by the rope and towed in their blistering lassos. But I’m not biding my time to contact lead poisoning, nor am I willing to scalp some nemesis. No siree, I shall hack away at the abrasive bonds with a silver butterfly knife, drink a round of hard liquor victoriously at the saloon, and retire by the brothel with a painted lady by my side.

What…what am I even saying anymore? This nonsensical metaphor further drives me off the exploding rocket, that musical calypso pirouetting daintily in my subconscious like a music box ballerina spinning soft and delicate in its silent gears, yet at the same time gnashing angrily like an undeterred steam train wearing down its metal tracks with a screeching discordance. The residual smoke from either grinding clockwork machines is making my head feel quite hazy and warm, to a point almost feverish, and you might see pewter whorls rising from out my ears. My bonny maiden, what have you done to my mind?

My dear, sweet, darling maiden, forgive my ideologies and spare my heart no harm. What have you done to me? Your melody is luring me in, onto a cliff, which I could’ve sworn was filled with tantric torrents of stygian waters and jagged rocks brandished mercilessly to impale me at the bottom, but now it looks like a doorway to paradise, the palest cerulean glimmering softly like a polished sapphire, a fantastic reflection of an immaculate cloudless sky, though not of the greyed hurricane skies accompanied by a foreboding drizzle, that the sombre weather has to offer today, so I haven’t the faintest where the parallel mimicked itself from. Heaven, perhaps. And if I lean in closer and dare to hang one ear off the edge, I could almost swear that your harmony’s getting quite louder, less garbled, less shrieking, more pronounced and more than decipherable. I’m almost tempted to jump right in, if only to have to listen to that perfect symphony palpably, but perhaps for even more sensible reasons as well. Or sensible to myself, anyways.

My quivering legs are beginning to dangle off into vast emptiness like a terrified child testing the cold water with his toes, and every last vestige of my dispersing sanity and gracious consciousness begs for me to back away from this dangerous farce, to catch my breath and touch my back for feathered wings that aren’t there, to shatter my delusions along with my fallen halo and walk it off, walk it off and never return. But that would be like throwing away the most decadent, succulent, most tantalising piece of fruit the entire planet has ever produced, without bothering to bite down on it and get even just a single taste of paradise, and I know once I waste it on initial hesitation, I’ll never get it back.

It’s hypnotising, this calypso…the never-ending music…that ocean of eternal aegean…this perennial phantasmic phenomena…it strains my invocation of curiosity very much…it winks at me, calls out to me, taunts and mocks and jeers at me…I cannot take this any longer…I must—no, I will know…I shall put an effective stopper to this vexatious mystery once and for all…to cease the sores from infection and haemophilic bleeding…to slash away the ropes of the rampaging cowboys…to cool down this deliriously smoking fever…and to return to my ultimate empyrean destination with welcoming arms to my elusive fair maiden…once…more.

I stare downwards at the dizzying drop as I allow it to pull me in—

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PvP

One wrong move at the dice

Two players with severe damage

Exacerbated with cold lies

They began tearing at the page

And the slight infection grew

Into a poisonous hatred deep

Infesting within the heartstrings

Until hardened were both to keep

But siphon off all the bad blood

With a white plastic spoon

Though I’m not saying it’s okay

Or gone any time or any soon

But perhaps the colliding friction

That clashed, made sparks

And burned off the connections

Leaving black scorch marks

My house of sand thus crumbled

When your foundations fell

I drowned in my own misanthropy

As wind kicked around shrapnel

And crying eyes that were hit

Viewed the world through a slit

This self-destructive nature of I

Collateral damage increased high

But there’s a chance at the point

And resuscitations of helium

To unfog the coalescing parties

Of dislike and transient delirium

Overturned chessboards cleared

And they reinstated parcheesi

Things seem to be in some order

So I’ll find an opponent, maybe

It’s 5 AM and I’m stupidly stuporic

And intoxicated with caffeine

But hell, what sober me would do

For another turn at our game.

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Bleed Out

Zero friends
Follow your voice into
A sea of crosses
And blends in with the foxes
Gold and feels like home
Under the surface
My love…

~*~

Stay on the wire

When all the foxes take

Your charm and voices

And never state their causes

Fall nevermore under

The liquid surface now

Hold on to the river inn

You’ll drown alive somehow

But, beware the cross

And the X on your face

The agony fire of the loss

And swallow razor blades

Tonight your broken legs

Will take you on south

Walk the million miles

And we’ll be bleeding out…

.

You’re so fucking cheap

Why don’t you find originality?

You’re so insipid so

Stop with the treachery

I’ll call you out when you’re

Not listening to me

Princess, your pink shame

Is out of style and banality

Drag your heart along

The pavement to soften it

And let the wolves chase

Your rancid acid shit

It hurts like hell, but I’ll

Take my grave and drink

The fall will be safer

If you don’t stop to think

It’s best if we take the

Southward hemisphere about

I’ll stifle your screaming wounds

Before we’re bleeding out…

.

But darling, don’t worry

I’ll forgive your modern rage

When you’re aching for attention

On the walls of floral beige

Do you trust how it feels?

Do you like the taste of air?

The way nails and hammers

Caress your straw doll hair?

So hold my limpid fingers

And leap with my start

Past thorns and the red couch

That keeps us both apart

And we’ll fall past the curtains

And the forest of the green

Tumble like cigarette ashes

On the drains of nicotine

We’ll abuse southern hospitality

The night is ours to steal, no doubt

And before you come and know it

I think we’re both bleeding out.

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