Tag Archives: feed

Queen of the Colony

Your brain’s a mess of ravenous ants

Crawling and spitting out of your tongue

Starved for some attention, crimson pincers

And beady eyes prying out for profanities

As if that was in my total control—as if

You didn’t leave blood for them to lap up

The drops you eagerly tore out of my wrists

Because life had you sucked fucking dry

And hollowed out to become a simple nest

For the fire ants that chewed through

Your deaf eardrums, and left your heart

Paralysed with their mindless poison—

Do you have the nerve to admit that you

Were wrong, or have they just disconnected

Your soft spine from your callous flesh as well?

So don’t go calling me your goddamn prey now

I won’t be the skin you’ll have left to feed

Your avaricious wiles crushed between

The grind of blunted teeth, the stale crystals

Of sugar left on the dinner table, because

I’ll cauterise my own wounds with your

Self-pity and shake your obnoxious grip off

Along with all the ants in your carved-out brain

If you have any left—no wonder you drove yourself fucking insane.

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Skin and Thorn

Skinny girl

With skinny veins

Hungry flesh

And starving blood

.

Feed herself

Cold air and warm metal

Prickly as a thorn

Delicate as a lily petal

.

Skinny girl

With skinny veins

Ignore the need

Crave for the pain

.

Dried-out heart

“She’s sick in the head”

At least she looks pretty

Lying in her velvet bed.

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anatomical dissection: torso

test the threshold

don’t limit the pain

your empty stomach

is a clean canvas for

your latest experiments

.

starve the soul

and feed the sin

drown in iodine kisses

no one will ever love you

for the way you’ve been.

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Of Despair and Last Resorts

So on to the ocean and into the sea
So balanced and calm now, that’s where I will be
So on to the ocean and into the sea
Wash away all my problems, wash away memories
Back then, always through the shattered glass
I stared at my life, and oh, I wished I would die…

~*~

Desperation, desperation, desperation.

A mother so desperate to pay back the unwanted debts she’s accumulated under a harrowing time pressure of “sooner than later”, that she’s tearfully begging her long-deceased husband’s portrait for help and verbally contemplating suicide in front of her children, splashed with witty acerbic remarks to conceal her true intentions.

“If I don’t go home tomorrow, just watch the news and you know what you’ll see.”

A woman so desperate to make amends with her best friend that she personally owes, not just money, but also so much of herself for, and attempting to save face from any further unnecessary embarrassment, that she takes out her unbridled anger on everyone else, including her family, herself, and even her very own infant son.

“You’re all fucking useless. Why don’t you just die if you can’t do anything to help?”

A person desperate for redemption, desperate for change, so fucking desperate to take away any further troubles and problems that they might cause to their family; so much so that they’re prepared to do anything to achieve such a goal, even if it means abandoning their education and their future ambitions just to find an easier route to support them. Or perhaps—a darker and easier solution that’s earnestly contemplated—just to completely remove themselves out of the equation.

“There’s less money to be spent and wasted if I’m not here, right?”

Desperation, it clings to the bruised necks of the needless like curved brier thorns, entangling itself inside fragile throats and lodging itself deeper and deeper with the softest cough, choking the sparest breath out of hope until all that’s left is a heartless fear—a fear of everything and nothing all at once, a fear for everyone else and yourself, a fear of the future, the present, and the past—until all that’s left is irrationality and logical foolishness; until all that’s left is reckless death wish.

Yet, even then, desperation still feeds ravenously. And it never starves.

~*~

Take a deep breath now
Pass the shallows

Stay steady and hold on
Through the darkness we all know…

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Consumed

Yeah, this is what I do, take another bite
Big enough to chew
She said, “Careful, or you’ll lose it”
But girl, I’m only human
And I know there’s a blade where your heart is
And you know how to use it…


Entrée # 1: Hors d’œuvre

There’s blood in my fingers from where you broke them clean

Take another bite of my quivering torso, gut the blade in my spleen

I’ll be alright, my bloodshot eyes roll back at your finer tastes

If you’re planning to murder me, dear, just don’t let me go to waste


Entrée #2: Apéritif

I couldn’t lose it, I wouldn’t lose it, this time, this time I swear

They all look so goddamn tantialising to me, they’re all so unaware

My cracked lips are watering at the thought of flesh rather aged

I’m five seconds away from counting down and going into a rampage


Fine Dining: Plat Principal

The rioting voices in my head screamed “Run, why don’t you?!”

But I’m afraid I’m enjoying my own homicide scene far too much to stop

Turn around, let me see the perpetrator, let me take you through

It’s not fair, with every gland and chemical, they ruptured in another trap


Save Some Room: Assiette à Dessert

What…what the fuck happened? All I see is a decaying cadaver still smiling

And sweet postmortem laughter digging at the back of my head, latching to me

I searched for a drag, lost restraint again, and satisfied myself with my  f e e d

I said that I’ll stop killing for greed, but I never said I’ll stop for what I  n e e d.


And you can take my flesh if you want, girl
But, baby, don’t abuse it
These voices in my head screaming, “Run, now”
I’m praying that they’re human…

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feeding the flames

the sincere

words don’t

reignite my

burning fire

it only makes

me victimised

and feel even

fucking colder.

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Parasitosis

Worn out and faded
The weakness starts to show
They’ve created the generation
That we know
Washed up and hated…

~*~

The parasites;

Unnoticed at first

An itch, maybe red

That grows tainted

.

The parasites;

I’m a chosen victim

I can feel them move

Underneath my skin

.

The parasites;

They fester and grow

Writhing ever madly

Infecting me so slow

.

The parasites;

Damages and injures

Abrasions and lesions

Clear detriment ensues

.

The parasites;

Contaminate and corrupt

Polluting my clean mind

Weakening and disrupts

.

The parasites;

They wrench and leech

Bloodsucking exploits

I fall sick and beseech

.

The parasites;

Invade the environment

Peace left in sediments

A revolting impediment

.

The parasites;

Ravaged and rampaged

Infesting and infecting

Assail, overrun, pillaged

.

The parasites;

Stealing what isn’t theirs

Feeding on fallen ideals

Gorging in sickening curs

.

The parasites;

Ugly creations they may be

Yet for the very life of me

I can’t get them to go leave

.

The parasites;

Feast in surfeit and decay

Seep into me and infiltrate

Bound forever within to stay

.

The parasites;

Infecting quite relentlessly

Multiplying exponentially

Spreading all over my body

.

The parasites;

They overtake and override

Surpass, alter my humanity

Every inch of my skin’s hide

.

The parasites;

Is what my system’s now composed of

A parasitoid being, entangled till bloat

But how could I complain? I’d let them

Enter—this ail seems to be all my fault.

~*~

You made it
You played it
Your shit is overrated
(Go away, go away, go away)…

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