Tag Archives: feelings

The Ballad of the Arrogant Hearts

THE BALLAD OF THE ARROGANT HEARTS: VENTRICLE

Prologue Eins:

Tear it down! Break the barricade!
I wanna see what sound it makes
I hate this flavour with a passion
And I fucking hate the aftertaste!
How does it feel? How does it feel?
Well, it feels like I’m on fire!
Wake up, I know you can hear me…

~*~

I.) A Senseless Stardom And A Playwright’s Pain.
.

Bury me by the open venetian windows, where I can visit you every night

You know my anatomy like a circus act, but you turned off the spotlight

My pavement kiss tastes harsh, but the scissors accentuate my sacrifice

You deceive and desecrate me far too often, but shit, I’ll never suffice

.

Pose like a drunk pubescent actress, come on Marilyn, show some emotion

Every boy watching television shall receive your desperate transmissions

A noose of flowers and confection confessions melting on your tongue

Your affections were transgressions, but you’re so pretty when you run

.

I used to write letters and poetry, but now for you, I only write obituaries

Don’t be sorry for little orphan Annie whose cellar is her own sanctuary

I’m a vagabond, you’re a bastard child, we’re a match made in angel hell

Inferno strikes under our tangled veins and the paradise the demon sells

.

You were memorising phone numbers like it’s the digits on my credit card

If there was a prize for a comely crass drama queen, you’ll win that award

Ignorance might be your best friend, but I’ve been dating her for ten long years

It’s a violent explosion of distractions and disappointment in second gear

.

As they all say, fuck the love, we’re in this game for the fame and money

Toasting our dead hearts with cocaine and expired 20 dollar champagne

I’ll scream for help, sabotage! Please don’t murder me with pleurisy baby!

And if I cry in my sleep, then you will know that I’m still dancing from pain…

—————————————

-i-n-t-e-r-m-i-s-s-i-o-n-

—————————————

THE BALLAD OF THE ARROGANT HEARTS: PULSE

Prologue Zwei:

Make me a promise here tonight!
Love like a tidal wave
Dreamless in early graves
I never want it to be this way
The chemicals will bring you home again
This is it, when it’s done, we can say that
When it’s sudden death we fight back!

~*~

II.) Confessions Of A Mad Stranger To An Inebriated Lover.

I confess by the altar, this is my last testament and surrendering admonition

Two souls like an orchestra, and I’ll conduct this symphony of destruction

I’m the only menace to your fugitive life, a key witness and an accomplice

I got scar evidence to lock you behind diamond bars for a million years

.

You said it wasn’t a crime to feel, but the police are banging down my door

I promised I’d be just a little more sorry, but it’s just been a vulture’s chore

This turbulence in New Jersey, this fucking turbulence is beautiful for me

I may be deleterious and despondent, but your Europe eyes are a mystery

.

I can smell clashing bitter bourbon and saccharine chocolate in your breath

You sicken me, but I feel better by shutting the closet doors and drinking late

Towed away in our underwater love, and I’ll be drifting away to abyssal death

But if I escape hell, I’ll sneak back into heaven for free, so don’t close the gate

.

Don’t pay for your blessing, just grind the forest ax and damn, don’t hesitate

The big bad wolf will rend you to shreds if you swing away a second too late

Stuttering from the piercing bullet bites and the blizzard cold on your tattoos

Though I’m taking, I’m taking, I’m f-f-fucking taking back Saturday from you

.

The jagged edges of your dress are wounding me badly as we’re locked in final embrace

Weighed down and singing our tainted names under the concrete rain like a disgrace

I know I’m a stupid motherfucker, thinking that with eternal hate, I’ll never be left alone

But darling, I’ll leave the answering machine on all night, in case you decide to come home.

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Throwing Cheap Bouquets by Juliet’s Balcony Stage

Please won’t you push me for the last time
Let’s scream until there’s nothing left
So sick of playing, I don’t want to anymore!
The thought of you’s no fucking fun
You want a martyr, I’ll be one
Because enough’s enough, we’re done!

~*~

Abandoned brains dripping on the cold spiral staircase

My crumpled train station tickets wiped them all away

The nights were as sober as 5 AM Jack on the rocks

Reset reverse repose and smash a hammer on the clock

.

You’re like a spoke in my heart, like nails through my teeth

Let’s slow down the sound of pain, ’cause you taste so sweet

I’m like the chlorine in your skin, like the poison in your cure

Maybe I’ll inject the moonshine once again just to be sure

.

You’ll never see my face in the movies as you always should

But babe it’s tough to dwell on the surface of Hollywood

Endgame of a bloodless artery, and I’m the rebel subsidiary

I’m the heart attack in your nightmares until you wake me

.

Am I confusing? Or complex? Am I the nuclear home you wrecked?

Are you the cannonball that hurtled past and broke clean my neck?

Breaths frosting over glass like a harsh blizzard in the winter

If I’m the martyr dying on a cross, then maybe you’re the sinner

.

You mixed suicide in my bloody scotch and you left me to rot

If I’m jumping off the bridge, then you’re my second thoughts

You’re the puppy crush love and I’m the old dog you put down

You hanged me by my collar in the gallows with a silent frown

.

We were screaming at each other in the most perfect harmony

If you were crying or laughing at the end of the line, I can’t see

You dosed my soul with whiskey and you sang a metal lullaby

And when I passed out from the hate, you crept out, no goodbye

.

So listen, wake the fuck up! Who the hell are you to die on me?

If you’re searching for some peace eternal, then I guess I’m sorry

I wrote your name on my mutated wrists with a blunt safety pin

And the scars on my lips won’t fade away anytime soon, darling

.

So don’t you go away now! Who the fuck are you to fall apart on me?

The razor blades in my throat won’t be swallowed with your fake sorry

This turbulent liquid passion made us crash on the tides and capsize

But if there’s a heaven waiting baby, then it won’t have a place for your lies—!

~*~

You told me think about it, well I did
And I don’t wanna feel a thing anymore
I’m tired of begging for the things that I want
I’m over sleeping like a dog on the floor
Imagine living like a king someday
A single night without a ghost in the walls
We are the shadows screaming take us now
We’d rather die than live to rest on the ground!
Shit.

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Room for Seconds

Cold pizza, tie-dye shirts (I don’t care)
Broken hearts, give ’em here
Give ’em here (Where you’ve been)
Hand me downs, gimme gimme
Leftovers, gimme gimme (How many miles)
Sloppy seconds, give ’em here
Give ’em here (I still love you)…

~*~

It’s not the fault of San Andreas

That you went way over the line

Bone chips stuck out of your skin

As you said you were simply fine

Narcotic pain and conversations

Over the rusted telephone booth

And I’ve got teeth marks on me

When you bit me with the truth

I was just your sloppy seconds

Devouring my entire existence

And when you fed your demons

You no longer needed assistance

I was just the emotional baggage

That you left ticking at the airport

You’re contemporary, I’m vintage

So you cut my oxygen tube short

And I was too desperate for shit

I barely felt the knife in my back

I guess salty wasn’t your flavour

So you burnt me charred black

I took my low blows with stride

You chewed with mouths open

Wiped your lipstick off the side

Your goodbye was resentment

And it’s a damn shame we fell out

The bed was shrinking fast for two

I ended up sleeping on the ground

The lies were clear: it’s me or you

But don’t you leave me hanging now

I’m starving and I will be playing fair

And I’ve got enough room for seconds

Even though I know you’d never share.

~*~

And there is not a single place
That I would rather be
I’m fucked up just like you are
And you’re fucked up just like me…

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Hearts on a Pendulum

~*~

DON’T RUIN A PERFECT THING

American nightmares

Counted on the blue moon

I’d leap across Atlantic

But darling, that’s too soon.

~*~

JUMP IN THE FIRE (IF IT BURNS YOU)

Spitting flames in the dark

They thought it would play

Yet those puissant sparks

Kissed back the waterway.

~*~

TRUE LOVE COMES FROM MORE THAN JUST THE HEART

A tactile tongue on necklaces

Illumined on equivocal jewels

Red rose by your grave traces

I shall return the favour in hell.

~*~

A KISS LIKE A FIRE ON PAVEMENT

Loathing has that succinct taste

Of compound ammonia valerate

You seem to love this acidic lick

Burning holes in your bloody lips.

~*~

A HAMMER THROUGH MY TEETH

I’m onerous, am I not?

A talented conniving old miser

I’m adroit, am I not?

A charming multifaceted lover.

~*~

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Strawberry Girls and Cherry-Picked Lies

I met a girl who never looked so alone
Like sugar water in your mouth lukewarm
She tied a cherry stem for me with her tongue
We fell in love and now we’re both alone
‘Cause I don’t need any more friends
And another kiss like fire on a pavement
We’ll burn it down to the end…

~*~

Strawberry girls are performing with shortcake hearts

And I just love the way that they break and tear me apart

I’m drinking poisoned margaritas for my last phone call

Drowned under the covers and on the linen blankets I fall

.

You think it’s high time for me to say goodbye and a lost eulogy

But not yet darling, ’cause I specialise in the art of disasterology

Garlands and wreaths and we sink laughing in softest lavender

Just like the bruises we kissed away and the lines we severed

.

I was always coughing madly under the influence of grey fumes

Drinking out of cholera water, wounding myself on rusted looms

But who will be the grenade that will pull that rusted stubborn pin

I’m tainted, sordid, insalubrious, love, won’t you make me clean?

.

As cold rain is beating down against the rolled-up car windows

We make believe with dulling thorns and hazy roses for hours

Thick blood starts to flow, like passing red buses on morrows

My sweetest strawberry girl, who ever knew that you were so sour?

.

Your shivering cups of coffee scald hotly more than kerosene

You’re so out of style, but you just love being so fucking mean

The boys in the club are youth raged and have new ideas stupid

And the tepid beer, like the summer air, is tasteless and arid

.

Your blossoming skin has always been flushed pink with spite

The chemicals in your brain keep your soul dissolving enough

Sitting high on an ivory pedestal, like flowers woven on a kite

You’re a bubblegum cheerleader, but chewed up and popped

.

Colliding like a suspended heart alongside patient bowling pins

Why did you adore all the mermaids if you can’t even swim?

I’ll pray to the devils and hope that they wouldn’t go and follow

For everyone took a bite out of your leftovers until you were hollow

.

The sunset is missing, hiding under hills and decaying cemeteries

Let’s bury the past under groves of pearl and burn it with gasoline

If only you’ll stop serving yourself impaled on a silver plate, please

Leave that to the cherry girls, blushing burlesque and incarnadine

.

The bullets from your back are yours to keep in bitterest memory

That golden necklace is choking you, won’t you take it off for me

Drunk on saccharine, bloated on pesticide, intoxicated in perfume

I’ll take your hand and hold it tight, strawberry girl, we’ll be home soon

.

Let’s dance a waltz and let the grass brush our ankles in diamond fields

Underwater ballerina, an angel on cloud filaments as you hum and sing

Where’s the misery, all the agony, those vultures we didn’t even need?

You’re a strawberry queen in a castle, and I’ll be your own vineyard king

.

A million heartbeats thumping quickly under the abysmal ocean floor

Making whirlpool tantrums and tidal waves crash against the shore

Lying on picnic blankets, don’t you love the way the moon looks tonight?

Scintillating mischievously as it whispers its secrets to gold starlight

.

Strawberry girl, it’s a withering world, so why don’t you come and disappear with me?

We could be resting, alone in our peaceful hell while that chaotic paradise goes crazy

Let’s fake our own deaths here and let the wolves chase, let the weeping foxes fight

Let’s die under the stars, my strawberry girl, don’t you think they look so beautiful tonight?

~*~

‘Cause this is a wasteland, my only retreat
With heaven above you, there’s hell over me
You said what about us? Well, what about me?
Hang from the gallows, asleep in the rain
‘Cause this is a wasteland, my only retreat…

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Shrinking Summer Violets

I don’t think I shall regret

Missing out on such “fun”

I find it more captivating

To be left than suffer sun

You’ll have your holidays

On ocean and sandiness

I’ll have mine in isolation

Of eremite empty houses

I’m but a mere periwinkle

Flourishing with darkness

I thrive in rhapsodic woes

Under films of dusty webs

Foolish or magnanimous

Peculiar or lonesome true

A sabbatical from frantic

You’ll be gone, I won’t rue

Despite begrudging teeth

And behind closed doors

I have a calm delectation

Quailed by literary scores

Basking in bijou quietude

A shrinking violet I’ll heed

Mayhap such an interlude

Is what this lone soul needs.

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★ without ☆

♫•*¨*•.¸¸♪

i am wanting

in faith and hope

or so you say

my prayers and

paeans don’t make

it through a day

what’s left of the

ribbons i tie in my

withered hair

and gaze at the

sunset without

any unawares

i’m lacking in joy

and bloat with

sheer despair

and i see all the

world as just one

big daycare

wallowing with

small children

waiting to be fed

spoiled and brute

and discontent

until they’re dead

a cynic, a cyanide

a crass coldhearted

curdled milkmaid

who smashes the

glasses, and steps

on the carnage

i am scarce of love

and emotions, they

say it’s quite unfair

but i’m willing to try

all this silliness, only

if someone will share.

♫•*¨*•.¸¸♪

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Daily Forecast: Sunny With A Chance Of Sarcastic

Just for the record, the weather today
Slightly sarcastic, with a good chance of:
A.) Indifference, or B.) Disinterest
To what the critics say…

~*~

You’re out on a shallow rampage, attempting a one-sided battling rally

To transform me into your average person, a standard factory human

For you think that in your radiant diamond-cut life, I’m just a tainted sully

And you’ve really got the strong verve and nerve to denounce everyone

Preachy, holier-than-thou, you can apply to be a pastor at your local church

Save for the fact that they’re actually interesting and won’t go straight to hell

Every word spat out sneeringly, as if the sole sight of me makes you wanna lurch

You stand high and mighty in your podium, like all dictators before they fell

Dangling the rope that you used to pull me out the hole to slip it round my neck

Will you hurt me? Will you not? Hun, my bones are chilling from all the suspense

Wishing to prolong all my agony, like a tomcat plays with its squeaky meal

But I’ll scamper back to my rat hole and drop upon your head reality’s anvil

So learn to look past your shadowy reflection, you asinine narcissistic clot

Pray peer deeper into the pensive, onto the other side of this shattered mirror

But if you can’t even get it past your thick skull, I’ll be very glad to spell it out

You see, when you view it in a less biased perspective, I am not the monster

For I may just be an enemy, a beast, but at least I’ve retained my instincts

And never mind that it’s a bit torn up and battered, my soul still fully works

Truth be told, I’d rather be who you see me, a primal creature who can’t think

Than to join your hive mind and be a steel robot, naïve, unfeeling, and cold

But don’t let me ruin your fun, you silly child, I won’t steal your toys then

Don’t worry, I won’t take away your sweet candy as you always did to me

I definitely won’t stoop to your level, so stop whining, just stay in your playpen

Plus, I’ve got bad knees from too much bowing down to your ego, honestly

I told you already lovie, it’s simply futile, laughable, and eye rolling amounts of rude

You’re just foolishly waging with sticks and stones, charging blindly into a losing war

So why don’t you lay down your garbage pail shield, kindly bugger off, behave nice like you should

Now now, mind your good manners and proper conduct dear, and don’t be such an attention whore.

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Viridian Gaze

You have the warmest eyes of glittering jade

And scintillating sparkles of asterism emeralds

But, more precious than any gemstone made

Because it holds motley stories yet to be said…

.

It’s like the chartreuse grass by my ankles

Tickling my every giggling whimsical fancy

Sluggish summer, in the bright farm fields

On a soft valley of lush growth and verdancy

.

It’s like a fractal ray of the mellowest sunlight

Passing through a crystal glass of absinthe

Little green fairy floating ever so daintily

Flowing into your liquid fragile pair of iris

.

It’s like that little hint and sharp tang of lime

That rests ever nicely on my pink tongue

Or a lone dark olive that’s left at the bottom

Of an empty martini glass at an after-hours run

.

It’s like hot tea served on a bleak rainy day

Relaxing your frazzled brittle gloomy nerves

Or a refreshing sweet mint to cool the mouth

And to soothe your twitchy broken words

.

It’s like a bright shamrock-splashed parade

On Saint Patrick’s Day, filled with sheer fun

And as lucky as a picked four-leaf clover

And as happy as a dancing ginger leprechaun

.

It’s like frothy waves of seafoam splashed

By the shores of a desolate sunset beach

And the message in a bottle that it washes up

Just a quaint mysterious unopened treat

.

A beautiful colour of balance, growth, a colour showing creativity and creation

Green shades clashing, entwining, dotting flecks of brown, grey, and hazel

No wonder I lose myself in depths of new worlds, lost in limerent emotion

When I catch myself in your viridian gaze and into your prismatic green eyes I stare.

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Ad Hominem

I’m thinking of my soul’s sovereignty,
And I know everything you hate in me
Fill me up with over-pious badgerings
To throw them up, one of my favorite things…

~*~

We’re just poking around, having a bit of mischievous fueled fun

So don’t you cry now sweetie, don’t let your precious makeup run

No personal attacks, this is simply some friendly banter

Come now dear, that tepid smile of yours is revealing your pent-up anger

Why is your face violently heliotrope? Has your wounded soul had enough?

If you were so sensitive, you shouldn’t have entered the line of fire, love

Honestly though, be far from it for me to stifle your amazing flair

But remember darling, in the game of love and war and persiflage, all is fair.

~*~

…Too bad the things that make you mad
Are my favourite things!

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