Tag Archives: fight

open season

i have never told you a single thing

because i do not want you involved

i do not want you to get in the way

of such trainwreck i have devolved

if it was better for me, i would bite

they all say it’s what’s fucking right

but i know there’s not a damn point

there’s only cliche bullshit to anoint

of medication and invasive therapy

that leaves no personal room for me

and i do not want paid-for sympathy

nor will i waste my time for insanity

six years i’ve been dealing out alone

and i’m still alive right now, aren’t i?

i’ve done everything to keep it all in

fucked in the head with fucking lies

but i’m fighting back, broke apology

i cut my wrists, but never too deeply

i repress depression, relapse, release

i’ve people to pull me out of the seas

i still hope, i still dream, and i’ll love

i’m still disgustingly human by blood

i am damaged, but that does not mean

that i’m not trying to change anything

so please just stay away from this mess

and honestly, this is just all for the best

say it’s help my mind need endures, but

you just might end up making me worse.

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A Mouse in the Kingdom of Lions

All eyes on me, castles falling
Glory, glory, I’ll rise like a one man army
I don’t wanna die without living
I can’t fight without winning
All eyes on me, I’ll rise like a one man army…

~*~

In these destroyed ruins I stand in eulogy, beating the drum

For the voice of dead angels and the harps left unstrummed

Corrupted blood rains down in blizzards of prideful torrents

This efficacious fight’s dishonour gradually refusing to relent

.

So proclaim me wrong, devour this bravery to the starving wolves

For deceit and manipulation is the singular truth I’ll boldly uphold

Attention wrought to the tumultuous voices of the silent anarchists

Uncivil battles engaging against the flames of the contrite arsonists

.

Was thus my gullible sin? Have I persuaded concentric fools yet again?

Dost I have to beg mocking demons just to return to my fallen Heaven?

False, it exists only within old locked towers, behind walls of a fantasy

Hell is a decadent salvation, the final hour’s reverence and only mercy

.

Shards of glass cruelly beleaguering my gregarious scars and wounds

Forgiveness as unforgiving as the darker repasts of the eclipsed moon

The dagger I hold is a facsimile of my humble chivalrous restorations

I’m but another violent visionary rejecting sheer valiance of perdition

.

So reap my damaged soul, for it’s already damned in sacrificial benevolence

And such tempest has defied my will, as it pilfered my crumbling innocence

Yet I shall raise my poisoned sword, nay to my chest, but to my heavy chains

In this kingdom of a wasteland I have created, only the defeated shall remain.

~*~

Even when we’re lost
It doesn’t have to mean we’re losing
I will overcome if I fight now, right now
Never fear, never fall, never giving up
‘Til you give me what I came for
I’m through with all the time I’ve wasted
Battle stations…

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When the Rebel Fucks the Anarchy

My alligator blood is starting to show
I know that you know that, I know that you know
Can’t call a bluff with a dead man’s hands
Put a gun to my head and, paint the walls with my brains
Put a gun to my head and, paint the walls!

~*~

I want to set beautiful, dangerous, cataclysmic fires

And fuck the walls up with profanities and paint

I want to stab the living shit out of someone

To control, devastate, and cause trigger-happy taint

I want to do drugs, get hammered, and get busy

With sordid bedroom activities and a paid-for rancid honey

I want to get inked all over my ugly mess of a face

And pierce a thousand rusty needles at every blank place

I want to incite vengeance towards my sorry enemies

Start a fight and start a riot, bad enough to provoke armies

I want this screwed system to get fucked and change

To use lethal weapons freely, of guns and hand grenades

I want to just do whatever the fuck I want to do

Without getting screamed or bitched at, boo-fucking-hoo

I want to be myself, and to crush this cookie cutter mentality

To not give a damn if they think I’m just so bat-shit crazy

I want to be unrestrained, from society’s choking grasp released

To serve my unfair fate and for once, do myself some justice

I want to lose all my control just so I could take it back

For the humanity and the decency and the morality that I lack

I want to be self-destructive and be fueled by nothing but pure hate

And take some goddamn bastards down with me as I detonate

Life fucking hates me anyway, I just want to cause chaos and anarchy

What have I got to lose? I’m just fulfilling everyone’s easy stereotype of me.

~*~

Cut me up and wear my skin
Show me how to live
Tear me down, clean me up
Now spill my fucking guts
Just help me find a way!

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The Last Young Renegade

Long live the reckless and the brave
I don’t think I want to be saved
My song has not been sung
And long live the fast times, so come what may
I don’t think that I’ll ever be saved, I know
Our song has not been sung, long live us…

~*~

The first time strikes

Like a fatal blow

As the anarchic trite

Is a puerile glow

Passing fickle crimes

Consenting none

Pioneers of renegade

Bring out the sun

Youth and the world

War of a reckless

Glamour and talking

In tongue feckless

Long live brave fools

Mayday, they say

Profound, old school

Friction burn day

Trapped in suburbia

Caught on tarmac

Trainers worn-down

And hoodies black

The nights to arrange

Fast times dignity

Run out from normal

And old modesty

Tread black-top lines

Of spastic change

Spontaneous fervour

Could be arranged

But if rebels surmount

Punctual refugees

Restrained and recede

Scant probabilities

An unforgiving planet

Looks are deceiving

They’ll take the crown

But you’re winning

And the last time strikes

Descending in storms

And this juvenile chaos

Is worth fighting for.

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The Lost Anthem of the Damned Empire

Let the God-forsaken bastards sing!
They came like moths to a flame
You left like a house in a hurricane
The wolves are at my door
But I can see the writing on the walls
The wolves are at my door
Waiting for my empire to fall…

~*~

Oh mother, please drop the knife in your hands

I didn’t kill father’s eyes, I hope you’ll understand

It’s the voices in my head stealing hope under my bed

It’s the willingness to carry on only to be left dead

.

Please remind me to be more sorry than I am

For being nothing but a reckless little shit

If you think you can save what can’t be fixed

Why don’t you goddamn stab me with your crucifix?

.

‘Cause I’m just another soul waiting to be fed

Murder my sanity, I’m not right in my head

And when the serpents escape and contrite

It’s time to suffocate and give up the fight…

.

And the diamond in your blood is never enough

(Bite your tongue, you think you’re so clever?)

To pay for your sins and atone for the rough

(Wipe that smile off your face, motherfucker!)

And the admission that presents in middle fingers

(Bite your tongue, you think you’re the best?)

Is a flag of the beaten, fuck all this crying forever

(Fall on your knees and drop dead like the rest!)

.

When did they tragedy leave your bones?

When did the tragedy leave your bones?

When did the tragedy leave your bones?

Did you really think it will fucking leave me alone?!

(Fuck no!)

.

Claw your way from out of the dirt they dragged you in

Savour the taste of the cold poison in their rusty daggers

As you scream against the whispers of sorrowful sinning

It’s nauseatingly pathetic, how you drown yourself under

.

Swallow your desperation and choke on the profanities

There’s no excuse for this miserable shit of humanity

Rancid words and empty promises thrown down the drain

As the agony of every incident sharpens the dull pain

.

You’re fragile and broken, a sniveling useless creature

But don’t let their beliefs suffocate the mentality you have

It’s their fault if they impose, but yours if you sabotage

The only chance you get at mercy, and so help me god!

.

And do you feel the chills running down your back?

(Hear the crowds, do you think this is all over?)

The million insects piercing your spine rotting black

(Hear the crowds, this suffering will last forever!)

And do you still believe that the powerless will restart?

(Hear the crowds, do you think the guillotine won’t drop?)

Why don’t you give the fuck up, and listen to your heart!

(Bow your head down and wait for the beating to stop!)

.

When did the tragedy leave your bones?

When did the tragedy leave your bones?

When did the tragedy leave your bones?

Did you really think it will fucking leave us alone?!

(Goddamn liar!)

.

Let this be the final testament of the bastards

For the cowards and kings, marching up to gloat

Salvation proves fatal, only death shall remain

The sombre march of the anthem is a parasitic bloat

Lovers and liars, intertwined in collapsing church halls

Brick by brick, the horizon collides as everything begins to fall

A thousand cut tongues speak the truth as the holy lie

In the throne of an empire that’s built on vicious violence

Let the world of bones burn and the world of flesh die

Hell is the only truth that makes fucking sense…

.

(And let it be fucking so!)

.

Are you sick of this shit? (If you are, cut yourself!)

Are you tired of failing? (If you are, fucking die!)

Are you worn down by the tragedy? (Then why don’t kill yourself?!)

Put your hands behind your back if you’re sick of this sorry suffering! (Hear!)

.

For heaven’s sake, let’s scream about all this bullshit until our scarred wrists are fucking numb!

.

(When did the tragedy leave your bones?

This is a nightmare, you should have known

Why did you let tragedy break your bones?

When you know it won’t leave you alone…)

.

Break the walls and let this damned kingdom fall!

~*~

It’s the start of the end! Surrender the throne!
The blood on my hands covered the holes!
We’ve been surrounded by vicious cycles!
The end—and we’re truly alone!
The scars on your heart are yours to atone!
We’ve been surrounded, let ’em sing, let ’em sing!

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Let Go Of My Heart And We’ll Call It Quits

But you’re always out to get me…
You’re the snake hidden in my
Daffodils when I’m picking flowers
That’s just my luck these days
Why can’t you just be happy for me?

~*~

You’ve got the shallow nerve

To give me the cold shoulder

And just shake me off your spine

But I will be back when it’s all over

And love, you won’t be fine

‘Cause all the boys told me

That you were nothing but trouble

But I drank all my parting shots

And ordered a martini, double

So consider the headache a warning

A bad souvenir for the morning

Accidents will happen on ice

Your chest heaves from the lies

Your guilty thoughts come and go

But the mess you made says no

It’s a shame, what a damn shame

If everything was just in vain

You’re cute when you get protective

So arrogant and manipulative

Kill me on the inside, gold bar, flatline

Lovesick, cheap trick, swear you’ll be mine

Play it safe and join the fight

The carpet won’t shed out hate tonight

I’m smiling with insincere teeth

But baby, baby, you’re such a cheat

Maybe I’m just the bad guy

But can you say you’re a reason I die?

There used to be a finer devotion

But I lost you when I lost my emotion

If only you’d stop fucking around, honey

But I’m too numb to feel sorry

This game ain’t too bad, having fun yet?

It’ll end up being our death

So give me the permission to dig some dirt

Draw a line between to avoid hurt

So keep my brakes from working again

Count me in, and we’ll both be crashin’

Rejection’s such a bitch, trust can’t be trusted

An involvement of two hearts that lusted

You can’t survive the game if you play love bad

But resent me for trying, it’s all I ever had.

~*~

You’re the brake lights failing as
My car swerves off the freeway
It kind of feels like sabotage
Why can’t you just be happy for
Why can’t you just be happy for me?

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writings on wrists

“Oh, what a waste of a perfectly good clean wrist…”

~*~

you can make me laugh

then fucking cry

i’m so riddled with guilt

but you made me fly

your words are lyrical

every note a butterfly kiss

assuring me again

of what i might miss

oh, i can only wish

that i kept my promise

and i turned to you

instead of doing damage

your names collide

with the filthy red scars

black ink against purple veins

soon, they’ll win the war

what’s done is done

and blood falls forever

but while you’re still singing with me

i’ll do my best to be stronger.

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sticks and stones

oh, if only

those sharp

and acidic

words can

physically

hurt or inflict

then i would

have been

injured long

ago, and you

wouldn’t live

to see a minute.

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I May Be A Bastard, Baby, But You’re My Blasphemy

After all is said and done
Climb out from the pine box
Well I’m asking you
‘Cause she’s got nothing to say
The angels just cut out her tongue
Call her Black Mariah
Would I lie to you?
That girl’s not right in the brain!

~*~

I’m the desecrate devil

You’re a chemical angel

Damned in fake prayers

But I swear I mean well

Cold tax, burn chlorine

Drowns me in gasoline

Drag knives on my back

And hit me like a truck

My sophisticated alibis

Have no place in a world

Where each lie’s sweeter

And a lie’s in every word

So let’s play a long game

Let the apocrypha begin

We’re both fuck-insane

So you’re not apt to win

Hot shot, scream queen

Drama love, got it mean

Wasted hearts, tough kid

Shit, you’re just so stupid

But of course I’m the fool

For I injected innate rules

Getting high on their rush

System rejected, it passed

This is one ethereal dance

And I have a sprained foot

Lead me across the chance

Against the pain and truth

Hold me, crush me tighter

Baby doll’s too loatheful

Strangle or suffocate her

She won’t swallow anger

Did I lose the apocalypse?

My, what a big revelation

Douse my wings in blood

Lock me in an institution

Trigger cold, feels so safe

Please shoot, please rape

My mind with gun metal

Splatter red on the walls

Then if death do us part

Scream for my old heart

Stab halos on the ceiling

I know you’ll miss feeling

So find me and fuck it all

I didn’t make the last call

Pour me all, have a drink

Don’t stop now, just think

I’m just a desperate devil

You’re my poisoned angel

Don’t say this is all wrong

It was their plan all along

If we’re caught, act at best

We’re innocent, it is a test

If not, confess to perdition

Realise your transgression

Cathedral bells are ringing

Moment of hypocrite litany

The bloodred sky’s opening

The almighty laughs misery

So I’ll do a round of rosary

Excuse me for my old gaffe

Cleaned it with the upstairs

Guess what? He doesn’t care

So why should you? This life’s no winner

Not everyone’s either a cross or a sinner

And good or bad ain’t a two-sided nickel

Oh for heaven’s sake, we all burn in hell

I’m just a roman soldier, don’t die for me

I know I’m the nails that pinned your flesh

But you carried me all the way to Calvary

God damn it, you should have guessed.

~*~

Mass convulsions
Strike the choir
By the grace of God
Gun it while I’m holding on…

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love notes in a dirty bathroom stall

For people like you
There is no such thing as an early grave
You wanted to gut my dreams until I was empty
And show everyone my remains…

~*~

i’m pissed off.

i ended up locking

myself inside

to avoid your fit

under cyanide

oh, you and your

showoff machines

always ruining

me and my sleep

if i knew any better

but no, i don’t

i’d say you’re such

a control freak

face the crowds

on the clogged sink

the mirror foggy

like how you think

let’s take this

under the water

drown me in words

i feel much better

you’ve got the nerve

to bitch about all

this shit, fine, let’s

all go from there

but if appearances

were to decide

you’re a tramp by

what you wear

clean up your act

please, clean up

your filthy mouth

accuse me of

running when

you’re lucked out

’cause you’re such a

hothead, you’ll

impose instant war

on anyone who

dares touch your line

and i’m the general

i’m camped out

you got one shot

make it worthwhile

slam me on the

tiles, as worthless

and just as vile

so shoot me with

your guns, shoot me

for fucking real

i may be the one

with bulletholes but

at least i don’t

have to get up to deal

with the bloodless

games of one fuckless

foot-slipping rabbit

’cause i may not be worth it

and you can heave on my

porcelain pink toilet

but i just don’t have the time

for any of your bullshit.

~*~

And after everything you put me through
I should have fucking pissed on you!
Thank you.

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