Tag Archives: fight

metal & skin (xv.)

hands trembling as i’m

standing silently in the

locked bathroom stall

fists clenched and slam

bruised, with tiles loose

my eyes never waver as

i have a staring contest

with the grinning razor

but i have a bad feeling

that i’m about to lose.

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Come on Holly, Put the Gun Down for Me

Love me as you lay
Dizzy and falling, y
our legs dangling
Accidents happen, they happen to me
Try to forget the beginning and end…
Forget the world!
Without removing t
he glass from your lips!

~*~

Make me another promise

About the seven sins I spilled

All over your faded grave

And the starry innocence I killed

I know I haven’t been the best

But I did it when you were at your worst

Holly, you’re making me choke

I’m steering off my turnpike course

Don’t let me go away now

When I’m about to ask you how

Everything under the roses

Makes me think in bloodred guesses

This rage is highly contagious

It’s severing my every vein quite vicious

The candle lights mask your tears

Only your sunny friends never hear

Holly, you’re killing me here

Your ambitions are craving my envy

Dysthymia’s slipping on your lips

Like cold Novocain and an apology

But don’t call me then hang yourself

Trying to reach for the dollar on the moon

Playing hooky’s bad for your health

We’ll grow up, but not too soon

These fingertips left marks on my throat

With every white lie that you spoke

Holly, I still love the way you murder me

I’ll offer you my doubts and maybe’s

But life can be a cruel farce to envision

I’ll keep the gun from my mission

Your necklace of bullets complimentary

To the blood falling on my gurney

You won the fight Holly, and no pet names

Will taint your rallying soul anymore

And I spent all of my what-ifs and initial fame

Simply trying to attempt to keep score

I have got nothing else left to give but my never

‘Cause I thought these two hearts called a truce

Now tell me Holly, when you say that it’s all over

I understand, but what have you got to lose?

~*~

Doll up and sleepwalk
Until we have some teeth marks
Narcotic sweet talk
Until we have some teeth marks…
(This whole place is gonna burn!)

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[B]rain

There’s a rot in my brain

Like a clogged-up drain

And the cold storm amid

Does none to alleviate it

I’m trying to stay awake

Insomnia ruins my night

But it is too fucking late

I’ll succumb to the fight.

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Concrete Shoes

Cling on tight to loose ends
Claim they’re afraid of them, when I tried to save them
I couldn’t do it; vodka tonic breakdowns
Is twenty really that tiring? ‘Cause lately you’re spiraling…

~*~

I was always terrible at hiding the facts

Trace the letters on your fading palms

Baby, seasons change but bloodstreams don’t

We can’t rewrite the eulogy of the fallen sun

My head contacted the cemented floor

I lost track of my concussions, I lost score

These amber lips beating behind my ribs

Smiling ironically on sapphire tears

I’ve gone for days without any hint of sleep

The ghost of you is counting my sheep

Mornings built on bad nights and brown clay

But I’m not afraid to fall and float away

The meltdown we had was not simply sympathetic

And every flaw was a mordancy melodramatic

The situations to face on clashing conversations

Leading chilly glances and leaving for a “vacation”

But you didn’t have to scream at me when everyone was listening

I’ll forgive but not forget, this concrete rain is so paralysing

I’ve got bricks for shoes, and you were the one who tied the shoelaces

But despite the weight, I won’t sink lower than you, and I’ll finally find peace under the currents.

~*~

(It’s like I’m living with)
Concrete strapped to my feet, tossed out into the sea
Why you gotta scream at me when everyone is listening?
Calm down, you’re waving that gun too fast, you’ve got to breathe
How am I gonna talk to you when I’m wearing bricks for shoes?
Yeah, c-o-n-c-r-e-t-e-e, c-o-n-c-r-e-t-e-e, c-o-n-c-r-e-t-e-e, r-e-t-e-e…

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Ring the Bell Referee, and Let the Fight Begin

Such a shame you had to go and run your mouth
Your mouth is what you make it but at least I’ve got real friends—
Can you hear me now?! Now that I’m a big star!
Fuck you and your no love for yourself! (It don’t mean shit…)

~*~

Life is a kickass enemy, and the rage is a motivation

Let the judges slit my throat over my unorthodox declaration

It’s hard punches and cold lunches packed with action

Move closer to me now, and step into my own creations

Say my sullied name again, I’m stronger than before

I left my shoes under the bridge so when I fly, I feel lighter

Honestly it’s not that easy to have half of my fun

But this crimson ink bleeds so I won’t have to use a gun

My fingers they splinter from frenetic movements

If I’m still alive right now, I’m only breathing in segments

Ideas run wild and I stumble, I gotta pace to keep up

And I have to learn more about gravity to get the last laugh

Hear the sound of my voice among a stentorian million

Fuck the stars and dollar bills that sing against my emotion

I’ll whisper in silver undertones and break my voice on needles

Roll the dice but you can’t solve all my cryptic riddles

Don’t take my jealous life of matches and propane lights

Kill it fast, don’t let it die, I’m on a hurricane tonight

Spit and masticate the contract written on skin and paper

Throw the shreds in the seafloor bed under the polluted waters

But oh my god, I’ve been looking in the wrong direction

Running away in pilchard pastels over twisting intersections

This turnpike velocity won’t be my ultimate weakness

I’ll try not to splinter my soul, I’ll try never to second guess

So stop staring at me now, your glare is nitrogen seething

I promise I’ll be even later for our preliminary meeting

I’ll praise the chicken scratches I’m proud to call my home

Cursed again, this foolish confidence just won’t leave me alone

I’m exhausted, I’m burnt-out, and everything quavers spasmodically

But shit I’ll use my own words, I’m not gonna borrow from the dictionary

I know this adrenaline high will wear out soon, I’ll collapse from temporary exhilaration

But goddamnit I’ll drag my broken legs to hell if I have to, and I’ll abuse this rare motivation.

~*~

And I’ve got so much to give
But I would kill just to feel less invisible!
And you’ve got so much to learn about gravity
So live it up baby don’t look down
(Live it up baby, don’t look down…)

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Nameless Nemesis

The sticks and the stones that
You used to throw have
Built me an empire, so don’t even try
To cry me a river, ’cause I forgive you
You are the reason I still fight…

~*~

Wicked witch of the West

The egotistical red queen

Captain Hook, grimy pest

A slimy dream saccharine

.

The acrid poison you spit

Methanes on your tongue

The cold toxic you secrete

Shall be your bad outcome

.

On your charmless veneer

Tortured dark sensibilities

In distasteful doses of fear

A lost cause for humanities

.

You scar me and mar me

With penchant for defeat

Bore holes past my skull

Lay hellfire upon my feet

.

Degrade my capabilities

To reject my testimonies

You think you’re glorious

And quite sanctimonious

.

But your haunting words

Shall revert to your curse

Your reign upon the world

Will crumble and disperse

.

And I’ll be standing strong

Wayward heart and thorns

Raise a sword upon the air

Victory cheer ringing clear

.

Your armies of sticks, stones

Shall add to build my throne

My wounds, burnt-up bones

Shows I survived your scorn

.

Soon you’ll be homely crushed

Banished to a bleak underland

Devoured by ravenous reptiles

Vanish with a flick of the wand

.

But dear, no need to beg and grovel

A chagrin hapless irrefutable defeat

After all, your karma, it’s never well

You are the reason why I still believe.

~*~

So you can throw me to the wolves!
Tomorrow I will come back
Leader of the whole pack
Beat me black and blue!
Every wound will shape me
Every scar will build my throne.

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Insecurities

Why don’t you

Eat the mirror

That calls you ugly?

Why don’t you

Kill the monsters

That terrorise nightly?

Why don’t you

Make your anxiety

Nervous with confidence?

Why don’t you

Deafen criticisms

With a cold heart silence?

Why don’t you

Smile at your

Enemies, wish farewell?

Why don’t you

Laugh at the demons

‘Cause they’re all stuck in hell?

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Vena Amoris

Your wedding ring

Is cutting off your circulation

A blue diamond bling

Accentuating infatuated poison

Your fingers as purple

As the fresh bruises on your neck

If love was an accident

You’re headed for a train wreck

A thin band of silver

Stab your heart and wish to die

Red lines on your skin

If that’s your wish darling, I will try

Consummate turns rancid

Domestic turns into souls recluse

Passion becomes acid

A battle of fists and verbal abuse

On a homely warfield

In sickness and in health alike

That vein pumps blood

But when it finally ceases beating

So will your love.

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Breaking Point

In opposing parties

There’s always someone

Who’ll finally break

And believe me, sweetheart

I won’t be the one

Making such a big mistake.

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Picture Perfect Family

Welcome to my home

I’m glad you came

We are very much pleased

To make your

Comely acquaintance.

See that over there?

There, by the side—

Oh no, no, silly;

Not the unswept

Debris of dirt and

Smashed plates and

Fragile china sets,

Pray not step on it

You might get

Wounded worse

Than I did.

Not the bloodstains

On the beige wall,

An abstract painting

Of all the beatings

We fought for.

Not the snivelling

Figure in the corner,

Sulking and muttering

That’s just my sister

Nor the vomit

On the decaying floor

Presented thus

By my piss drunk

Loser brother.

Ignore the sounds

Upstairs as well,

My mother’s crying

And father’s screaming

Might be a little

Distracting to you.

It’s over there,

By the side of the

Chimney, on

The mantelpiece…

Yes, that one

The cracked frame

With the shattered glass

Which is in fact

A photograph

Of me and

My happy family

All smiling parodically

With dead eyes

And ironic peace signs

And content with

Our normal lives…

Charming, isn’t it?

That’s just me

And my perfect family

What more can we ask for?

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