Tag Archives: final

Stagehand

It’s almost exquisite now,

The way chewed nails drag

Softly behind the curtain

As if a total nervous wreck

Before the ultimate show begins

.

And the encore is just

A fake bloody kiss, and the

Applause is rather hit or miss

And the trained actors are stiffer

Than all the cardboard props

.

But when the rusty spotlight

Comes around, and the lines

Are mimicked badly, they will

Graciously go save you a fromt

Row seat for the entire family

.

Leave behind a single rose

Plucked from a severed tooth

And twist the fingers of every last

Dying enemy, for the end of yet

Another successful blasphemy.

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Locked-In

Tell me, did your throat close up

When fingers wrapped around it like

Marionette strings, spindly and ready

To be pulled and consumed, or did

You get a final chance to scream?

.

Did your dear friends pick up your call

Or did your neighbours come a-knocking

When you showed up with purple bruises

On the underside of your crooked blank stare

Or your the therapist dismiss it as insomnia?

.

When the comatose finally began, and your

Rigid flesh contracted as if doused with ice

Water, as you didn’t even take a hot second

To shiver and whimper, dreaded rigor mortis

Taking over, did you try to wake yourself up?

.

Tell me, were your glassy eyes still open

When they stuffed you in that metal box

And the starving flames licked at your body

God’s merciful wrath your only sanctity, or

Were you lucky enough to blink just one last time?

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arrival

the return

the final line

of empty trays

and sipped wine

.

of upbeat music

and listless smiles

we’re so close yet

we still have miles

.

the last call

the landing

of departures

and last wings

.

of blue skies

and goodbyes

we’re so far yet

it feels like the end.

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Polaris

When my eyes’ve grown tired
Cause no night can’t survive with just a flashlight of hope
When all I said was bitter
And words won’t bring her back for more…

~*~

The stains on my fingertips are subtly disorienting

As I stumble on my throat, refusing to breathe in

You’re moving too fast for me to ever catch up

And all we can do is laugh quietly before we sin

I tell every aching bone to whisper about sad news

The shadows and the mist bring me closer to you

They say that the blood you expelled is recluse

But I’m terrified that my evergreen will turn to blue

And it wasn’t my fault that all the skeletons in my closet

Came bursting out, when I could no longer contain it

Understand that my veranda is always welcome and open

When the decisions overwhelm, and I’ll wait until then

Strumming the starrified strings on my ten-string cello

Until my fingers pluck constellations of the final crescendo

And when you find your way to that everlasting enigma

Look up and listen close to the sound of my north star fantasia.

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Resignation

This pressure’s got me letting go
If I’m wrong, will I still carry on
And end up where I belong?
I’ve never felt this way before…

~*~

They carry over to the side, and pain is just a thought

Effervescing behind my skin, tearing me apart, I’m not

Wearing my fingers thin praying for an endless day

I’m out here on my own, as my mouth is set to decay

Never felt this far from home, no I can’t move myself

Stuck inside a dream, the only way to wake up is death

And when the final wave hits like crashing tears in my body

One last time to scream before the tribulations overcome me.

~*~

I’ve never come so close, I’ve never worn so thin
I’m stepping out instead of closing in
I left myself behind when I made up my mind
No turning back this time, this is my new design…

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3 a.m. cake and day-old coffee

I can’t afford the kind of love you sell
But I can’t afford to ever watch you leave
Won’t you come and put your sugar on my tongue
You’ve got your spell on me…

~*~

i would pretend

that it’s to mask

the bitterness

and overpower

it with even more

bitter grounds,

or to dislodge

the hard lumps

forming in my

drying throat,

but i’m not that

deluded or fucking

melodramatic—

or maybe i am.

the cloudy creams

of ivory frosting

melts with a touch

of tawny coffee,

perspectivism

and disillusions

blending madly

as i sit there,

stuffing my rictus

with pastries in

the darkness, like

a total gluttonous

shameless piece

of poison pie.

i am disgusting;

but i’m merely

enjoying crumbs

and leftovers of

my ant-eaten sanity,

trying to kill time

and soured anxiety

with decadent sugar

and innocent tongues,

all while attempting

to ignore the fact

that the immense

sweetness makes me

want to throw up.

and i indulge in the last

few poignant pieces

of a humbled life,

before this cold cake

and day-old coffee

becomes my final meal.

~*~

I’m the only one who knows
The secret places that the light don’t show
(The light don’t show) You know…

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letters to s.d.: final fragment #8 {postscript}

Sent: June 28, 2017
Received: August 19, 2017

.

[REDACTED]c, p[REDACTED]re fucking for[REDACTED]le m[REDACTED]e.

.

i failed you.

i thought i could win

but i just let override me

i let it bite my skin

i let it numb and desensitise me

i can’t look you in the eye

as you tell me i’m at my best

but i look at your scars

and it feels like a stab in the chest

if you can, then i can too

but fuck, guess we’re both wrong

despite all my attempts

despite all your painless songs

save the time, as i’m falling

so goddamn stop me

but you can’t help anymore

it’s not like the way it used to be

this was…all for you

all for you alone, all this time

and aren’t i so selfless

to pay you with my crimes?

i remember that you always say

“darlin’, you’ll okay”

and i want so badly to believe

but i have a short breaking point

and this is all i can give

the choice is mine for the taking

what’s another funeral wake?

i’ve gone in far too deep in

and  i’m left with vanished stars

so i can only pick the best

and if i die, i can finally awaken

i’m a coward, i know

but you don’t have to be

struck with contrition for a

guileless naïve stranger

hell, i’m never strong enough

to overpower my own foolish self

that much, at least, is true

no, i’m just not fucking strong enough

f     o     r        y     o     u.

i’m so sorry, s.d.

.

but before i say goodbye permanently, i would like to confess that you’r[CONTENT MISSING]

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C.C.

In my shoes, a walking sleep
And my youth I pray to keep
Heaven sent hell away
No one sings like you anymore…

~Black Hole Sun; Soundgarden

~*~

You didn’t stay

For the encore,

But you left a

Mark deeper

Than the cut

Of the razor.

You didn’t stay

To take a bow,

But you are a

Legend, you

Didn’t need

One anyhow.

Rock in peace.

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★ fullstop ★

♫•*¨*•.¸¸♪

there’s rest stops

and sweet shops

and turnpikes round the bend

there’s full cups

and empty taps

and cheers for ingénue bartend

there’s star luck

and moon rocks

and southern constellations wend

there’s quaint hops

and full stops

but the serendipity truly never ends.

♫•*¨*•.¸¸♪

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