Tag Archives: forget

Hold On, Fall Away

Do you know
I count your heartbeats before you sleep?
I bite my fingernails to bone
And then I crawl back under the stairwell
To a place I call my home…


Hold on, she says, and her suspended voice feels like a serpentine blossom, mutinous choking thorns wrapped gracelessly around the wall of my deflated lungs’ chambers, puncturing them effectively and leaving me gasping for the air that never enters my mouth.

But I can’t breathe anymore, I implore.

Hold on, that simple phrase again, manipulative and senseless, gently caressing the convoluted scars on my wet face like quietly-raining feathers from a fallen divine being’s cast wings, the burning touch barely grazing past decrepit flesh, ethereal and gossamer.

I didn’t want to miss anything, but the wind is chafing my dehydrated eyes. So I blink. I suddenly feel dizzy and nearly fall flat on my back, reveries resting as I attempt to steady myself. Sleep would be so merciful right now.

Hold on, another rousing round to jolt back the drowsy senses of my rapidly-decaying nerves. Each uttered word is like the sweetest taste of corrupted fruit in an exegesis dream, and I can’t allow myself to swallow it anymore, even if I took the first bite of sin.

Don’t make me do this. A foreign voice breaks the muffled barrier, and I flinch in static shock before shamefully realising that the unfamiliar sound was my own. Who…who was I now?

Hold on, the conversation hits like a loaded shotgun with a chipped bayonet, bullet penetrating the back of my head and cracking my skull once, before the sharpened blade cleanly slices through my wandering brain, a merciless double kill for certainty. Bang. Crash. Slash. Crack. Death.

I’m forgetting the colour of your hair now, the dainty lavender scent that follows you around everywhere you flutter, the way your plush lips mouthed serenades that collided and lit up fireworks in my reflection; I’m forgetting the sensation of seeing you, of wanting to see you again.

Hold on, the promenading whisper has amalgamated into an earsplitting scream now, dangerous hedonism dancing in demons and demigods around my shattered ears, past my constricting throat, relentlessly waltzing in wearied circles over and under what used to be the armistice memory of you.

No—My deteriorating vision blurs and falters, cascading and collapsing in iridescent shades of gold and silver, coalescing in glistening hues of diamonds and rubies, fluctuating in pastel blossoms of jasmines and forget-me-nots, all before shutting down into that damning void of sempiternal blackness. The last thing I saw with my weakening sight was her colourless ashen eyes tear up once, twice.

Hold on…was the last thing I ever heard.


Murder the moment!
My god, I’m the serpent
I’m sorry, I can’t see
That you truly love me…


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W h a t · I f · I · C a n ’ t · F o r g e t · Y o u ?

You won’t ruin the sunshine you left glowing on her fingers

They must think it’s dirty, but a work of art can’t be understood

With the pieces they left to light up what you thought you had

The necklace you still keep is just a memory, so careless and rude

If they begin to forget the audacious vivacity that you provide

Don’t wait for another phone call to ring in the middle of the night

The frustration in acrylic veins, alabaster failure they pursued

You gave second chances for the third time, but what if they don’t even want to?

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metal & skin (xxxiii.)

for all the mistakes

i’ve committed today

i tally them all in

blood-red and silver-grey

these scars tell me

never to fucking forget

every pain and the agony

of the lingering regret.


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Crown the End

Self-destruct personality
Won’t discuss my responsibility
I am always walking on the final verge
I’m killing myself but I am not a murderer…


I’ve been okay

For far too long

It’s time for time

To carry along

And drag me down

In bitter ashes

That strangle me

The more pain passes

Because I’m never

Meant for feeling fine

All I can do is grit my teeth

And keep on lying

To convince myself

That murder’s just a word

That dreams are archaic

And life is just a joke

Can’t I have that?

The ability to laugh

Without the need of blades

To keep me on the track

To see you not in jealousy

But rather in charm

To promise my skin and bone

That I will do no harm

For the numb to suppress

Every inch of regret

I’m starving for hunger

But never at my very best

I forgive the wounds

But never forget to bleed

I chase away those I want

Lacerate what I need

Is there a way out

For the revolution to die

And I can truly say

That I’m oh-kay-ay-why

For I think I’m a peasant

Content in warm walls

But I’m just a king in his tower

Waiting for the fall.


Never gonna be the only thing that matters in my life
When everything around me has failed
Who knows what the future brings but
Eventually the truth will prevail
It’s moments like these when you really gotta think
About the broken dreams that you sell
Tick tock on your head it goes where it stops
Who knows, like a carousel…


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Oblivisci Memoria Retinentes

And when the night time’s calling
And the rain starts falling
Will you still remember my name?
And when you’re out til’ morning
And the drinks keep pouring
Do you think you’ll feel the same?
I need to know, I need to know
Do you feel the same?


Do you remember

The night I said later

Climbed out the window

And left my calling card

On the dark side of the moon?

Do you remember

When you threw a taut rope

In the vainless hopes

Of returning the dying stars

Back to the breathless horizon?

Do you remember

The days when you slept alone

And my nightstand polaroid

Was a perennial reminder

Of the things you destroyed?

Do you remember

The dreams we painted on the ceiling

Now cracking and bleeding

Falling off in ugly peels of sterling

The prayers meant to be losing?

Do you remember

The things I’ve forgotten

In alcohol walkways

As I stayed up past eleven

This time in an empty pub haven?

Do you remember

What made you love this hate

When our veins faded away

Leaving a mess on tangled fate

And I’ve done nothing but to wait?

Dear, do you remember?

I can only hope it stays forever

Do you even remember my name

When again you forgot to call

I’ve kept these nightmares for a long time

Do you even remember me at all?


Sometimes when you love someone
You gotta let them go, let them go
Will you feel the same in the pouring rain?
Will you scream my name?


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spotted scarlet

cherry apple

ice cream soda

vinyl diner wall

of spotted scarlet

a funny fanciful

ditty on a poppy

nickel jukebox

for another set

bass rhythms

in spotted scarlet

whirl me again

my darling pet

a soft rosy breeze

a dandelion kiss

raspberry love

don’t go away yet

disneyland ears

of melted hearts

beyond infinity

you won’t forget

to the lips of a

spotted scarlet boy

golden sleeves

that i won’t regret.

Continue reading


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Filed under Poetry

searching for chimaera

Love, love is the warmest color
Petrol blues, hallelujah, hallelujah
Comes, saut dans le vide, my lover
In my youth the greatest tide washed up my prize…


it miming fantasies

a prayer of dahlias

warmth and sprigs

of wallpaper roses

cast hallucinations

spectral silhouettes

crescent lunar lamp

of moment to forget

consent trepidation

elucidating respites

chiasmus chimaera

an effete of the night.


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Filed under Poetry

Blue Illusion

this friday night

i threw out control and

i drank myself away

until my lips were as blue

as the alcohol i craved

cerulean illusions

faded like fireworks

dancing past my hazy eyes

as i exhaled out slurs

and my breaths collided

with the dim sodium lights

though it isn’t enough

to get me inebriated

and drunk on the colours

but i sure felt hitched

to a temporary heaven

and i sure as hell ain’t sober

razor blades didn’t cut it

so here’s another cure

i’ll prescribe to keep me sane

and i hope these smiling

little breath mints will

help me hide the reek of pain.


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Missing Maidens

As the maidens flourish and falter

Under soft halos of an ashen moon

Scarlet begonias forget their heart

The daze of the mist in foggy gloom

Lost memories flicker away and fade

While fireworks of blue stars shower

A ritual of evanescent, in acrylic grey

And the maidens effloresce and falter.


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Filed under Poetry

Saving my Sleep for the Sirens

The frame, the friction
It’s the reason that we all become aware
And we change for no reason
Some say it’s better to fall asleep and disappear
It’s time we finally look at what we’ve done
And wake up…


I cannot sleep, this haunt persisted to stay

I need a hand here to suffocate my throat

Lie, otherwise I won’t have another today

Amidst arctic isles and glaciers I will float


Don’t they know that’s all I dream about?

Perhaps I am just too ambitious to forget

Say I’m right, indulged in septic fantasies

Teetering at the edge of a cliff over death


But my jealous mind is pushing me farther

I couldn’t dissolve my nightmares, after all

Standing with my back against the red sun

And screaming, I have never felt more tall


I am another thought that lacerates skins

If you bleed out because of me, so let it be

Seeking an escape, the exit sign’s blinding

And I’m chasing circles away from misery


I am slipping out, my foothold is unstable

Through rain and ashes, I bathe in debris

Threads unravelling of stitches miserable

I cannot fall from touch, never sedentary


I’ve wished for a dollar that I won’t be rich

They call me insane, but that’s the way it is

The point I try to make is never transparent

But the light from my lies makes it apparent.


So here we are, we’re waiting for a fall
And on the radio they’re calling on satellites
Like they’re going to save us all…


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