Tag Archives: free verse

heartaches painted in grey

i want a million diamonds

from the sky to shatter my perception

and allude my verboten tongue

.

waiting for florid ice and fire

to thaw in each other’s grasp, aureole eyes

flickering against the soft dimming of the lights

on and off and on and off and on…

.

these hearts don’t belong

to the bathroom stall

and your paperback tales aren’t mine

.

i wish i could collide my mouth with the promises

that you will never keep from me

and i wish you would climb out from the

black screen that you hide under

praying for a sordid memory

.

though they say it isn’t meant to be

but another distant heartache

spilling oil paintings at the back of my

monochrome cracked skull.

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Backhand Cheers

Their words scream

“Congratulations!”

But their smiles utter

“What a disappointment.”

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Íkaros

submit labyrinthine will

to the empty defiant gods

and slithering in tongues

sharp riddles and daggers

allowing the burning halos

to mine paradise once lost

and repent away the wings

of arrogance in melting wax.

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Glass Shards Taste Sweeter Than Revenge

Cut off my wings and come lock me up
Just pull the plug yeah, I’ve had enough
Tear me to pieces, sell me for parts
You’re all vampires so here
You can have my heart…

~*~

you’re not worth

swallowing eggshells for

i wish i knew before i

digested all your bullshit

not everyone can spill

sunshine when they speak

and i’d rather die by my

own hand than your radiation

so take a fucking razor

and cut your palms open

just bleed the hell out

and drown all the demons

and pull yourself so far under

isn’t that what you always want?

don’t let the roses stop you

burn me out as you did

to those innocent paper towns

because i’m waterlogged anyway

you’ve no use for my pages

and yet you persist to write the

profanities and revilement

just to wipe condescension in

like your own twisted diary

i hope you’re happy now

from slashing my ankles simply

‘cause you got tired of this

if you can’t chase, no one can

honestly i’m glad you cut me off

though i may be crippled, at

least my conscience isn’t paralysed

my shame isn’t metastasised

i guess so long, goodnight, and

good goddamned riddance

hope you have fun stepping on

the glass shards i spit out for you.

~*~

So come rain on my parade, ’cause I wanna feel it
Come shove me over the edge ’cause my head is in overdrive
I’m sorry, but it’s too late and it’s not worth saving
So come rain on my parade, I think we’re doomed
I think we’re doomed, and now there is no way back…

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dormir

Let me rest

And shut down

To recover

And heal myself

Let me sleep

I’ll just slip away

Into oblivion

Don’t wake me up.

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Say

Hey, how are you, by the way?

Okay, no more lies this time.

Say you’re not okay.

Say that nothing is fine.

Say everything’s going wrong.

Say your depression is returning.

Say you’re falling apart.

Say you messed up yet again.

Say all the problems you need to relay.

Say people are screwing you over.

Say you keep relapsing again and again.

Say you’re sorry for being a complete mess.

Say you don’t care if you’re being desperate.

Say that life doesn’t want you anymore.

Say you’re fucking giving up.

Say that you actually want to kill yourself again.

Say that this attempt is for good this time.

Say please, please, please you need help.

S a y  i t . . .

Say something…anything…just goddamn say something…

Say anything but—

Yeah, I’m good. I’m great. Never been better.

Fuck.

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identity crisis

i

d o n ’ t

k n o w

w h o

i

a m

a n y m o r e

a n d

i t

t e r r i f i e s

m e.

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sound of a ghost

Well, you know I’m a ghost 
Pull the note out of my throat 
And leave me alone 
But it’s all for you, all for you and more 
He won’t take her anymore…

~*~

a phantom voice

of chandeliers

and sugar crystals

i drink all of it in

in red and white wine

and emptied sighs

and let the starry shards

lodged in my pharynx

pierce my scream

i’ll cough out blood

and fail to speak again

for your bandaged songs

and let piano strings

marionette my appendages

until it cuts into my skin

for the sound that crashes

in a pelagic resonance

and past isles and glaciers

you’re a phantom voice

from a million pieces

of diamonds in the sky

bury the music in nightmares

and fashion a parvenu

to melt away my reveries.

~*~

Come back to my heart (I don’t care)
Come back to my heart (I don’t care)
Come back tonight, tonight…

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backwards looking forward

the future excites me

but it also scares the fuck out of me

for it’s quite fun to dream

about all those little what-ifs

and could-haves

and all the things yet to do

in a future that’s not carved in stone

but i still need the notches

as a leverage to hold on

and life is handing me the chisel now

i wonder if i would take it

or let my fear get the better of me

and take the plunge

as i let myself simply fall

even though i know fully well that

i couldn’t fly.

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numb and number

why do i constantly

feel the need to fuck up?

even though the same

mistakes me always cost me

a blood excavation

is it because i just want

to find excuses to just keep

on relapsing? am i really

that messed in the head,

that i would need pain justified

to convince myself that i’ll

fucking need more of it?

for once, i wish i wasn’t capable

of writing until i’m as empty

as my pen and as indecipherable

as the paper i tore to shreds

i’m so sick and disgusted

of how i badly run my system

and really, the only option

is for the gears to stop working

or better still, fix what i can

with a quicker pharmacy visit

and offset an overdosed withdrawal

i just want to muffle it all

can’t i be allowed even that, at least?

can i just no longer feel?

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