Tag Archives: free verse

Saligutgot (Chaos)

Ingay—isang kawalan, ayaw mapakinggan

Sakit na hindi matahimik, lumulunok ng mga tinik

Galing sa salitang hindi mabigkas; uulitin at

Uulitin pa rin hanggang sa maubos ang pasensyang

Maikli—ang oras, ang araw, ang naputol na ugat

Sa iyong mga kamay, nagpupumiglas, nanlalamig

At naiipit sa mabigat na tanikalang dumuduyan

Sa mahinang indayog ng kanilang nagdurusang sigaw,

Mahapdi sa kaluluwa, hindi matago ng kisapmata

Nakalimot ka na ba? Tila manhid na sa mga galos

Nang ikaw ay binalibag at kinaladkad na

Parang masahol na hayop, lumalaban sa hinagpis

Na hindi maiwasan, hindi malampasan, at kailanman

Laging mararanasan. Sinong may sala? Kaninong

Anino ang galit na ituturo ng iyong nabaling daliri

Para mapatawad lamang ang kasalanang akala

Mo’y hindi babalik para dalawin ang iyong

Gumuguho na konsensya—kung hindi ikaw, sino? Sila?

Ako? Ang diyos na ayaw magpakita kahit

Tayo’y naniniwala at nagdadasal at nagmamakaawa?

Hindi ito matatahimik. Hindi mo mahahanap ang musikang

Makakapagkontra sa lahat ng sakit, ng pait, kahit saglit, ng—ingay.

Noise—a moment of loss, refusing to be heard

Aches that cannot be silenced, swallowing thorns

From these unspoken words, repeating and

Repeating again until patience is consumed

Shortly—this hour, this day, this severed vein

Within your hands, struggling, freezing

The flesh that’s burned just for a sliver of

Heat and light; scalded tongues, hoping, sobbing

And trapped in between heavy chains that sway

Alongside the soft cadence of their tortured screams

Searing the soul, unable to be hidden by the blink of an eye

Have you already forgotten? Seemingly numb to the scars

Garnered when you were thrown away and dragged around

Like a vicious animal, fighting against resentment

That cannot be avoided, nor surpassed, and will forever

Be endured. Who’s to blame? Whose

Shadow will your broken fingers adamantly point to

Just so that it will be forgiven; the sins you thought

Shall never return to haunt your

Deteriorating conscience—if not you, then who? Them?

Me? The god that does not allow himself to be seen, though

We have been believing and praying and furiously begging?

It will never be silenced. You shall never find the music that would

Counter all the pain, all the bitterness, even for a moment, all the—noise.

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Afterall

The promise of control.

It screams and sighs and starves me,

it makes me feel so empty.

But the hollowness,

the hopelessness,

the hunger,

it makes me feel so fucking fulfilled.

The promise of control.

The promise of hopeful tomorrows.

The promise of getting better…

But no.

Not when I’m sick.

Not when I lie to myself.

Not when I’m tired of having to give up all over again.

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A Child’s Laughter

It’s the fact that you are entertained

For virtually no proper reason at all

Only finding your fickle amusement

When I’m laughing so out of the blue

Because you’ll never have to find any

No, you’re merely content with seeing

Happiness in others, and your innocent

Soul finds that as all the more reason to

Smile in this solemn, humourless world.

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Rumours and Hearsay From Astronomy

“It wasn’t her who broke the stars.”

.

But she felt guilty all the same

As she stared at the dull midnight sky

Scattered with shards of light that hurt

In astral twinges and lunar fringes

When it hits her unblinking eyes

.

“It was him who fixed the horizon.”

.

But he didn’t feel responsible at all

He was merely there by coincidence

When it began to have mended itself

Coalescing into incandescent dawn

And yet he couldn’t say anything

.

“There’s this girl who locked the moon into the nebulae…

…and that boy painted the firmament rather ebulliently.”

.

Such mere rumours that the bored planets

Whispered clandestine amongst themselves

Altering details and chasing phantasmagoria

As the supernova truth shrank into a black hole

And sucked the boy and the girl in its dark void.

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walls

So my knees are the foundation
My skins the crumbling walls
And the fire in between is my blood
And it’s cold, and weak, and small…

~*~

and i could hear the walls

of my crumbling existence

crashing down around me

simultaneously, but i just

don’t want to build it back

up anymore, because i know it

will just fall down again, and

honestly, it’s just not worth it.

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how to kill a demon

“Trigger my nightmare once again…”

~*~

i’m holding on

too tight for comfort

the thoughts in my head

are deathless; immortal

they cannot be killed

by mere tylenol or advil

or even ativan alone

but maybe alcohol can

fucking drown them

or starving their bloodlust

will slowly pick them out

and if all else fails, then

maybe a bullet straight to

their hearts will do the trick.

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metal & skin (xxxv.)

yeah, maybe

i will stop

when the

blades hits

my pulse.

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heartaches painted in grey

i want a million diamonds

from the sky to shatter my perception

and allude my verboten tongue

.

waiting for florid ice and fire

to thaw in each other’s grasp, aureole eyes

flickering against the soft dimming of the lights

on and off and on and off and on…

.

these hearts don’t belong

to the bathroom stall

and your paperback tales aren’t mine

.

i wish i could collide my mouth with the promises

that you will never keep from me

and i wish you would climb out from the

black screen that you hide under

praying for a sordid memory

.

though they say it isn’t meant to be

but another distant heartache

spilling oil paintings at the back of my

monochrome cracked skull.

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Backhand Cheers

Their words scream

“Congratulations!”

But their smiles utter

“What a disappointment.”

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Íkaros

submit labyrinthine will

to the empty defiant gods

and slithering in tongues

sharp riddles and daggers

allowing the burning halos

to mine paradise once lost

and repent away the wings

of arrogance in melting wax.

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