Tag Archives: future

Ocean Breath

I’m denied the saunter

In my fluorescent laughter

Breaths a pond of enigma

Submerging under deliria

How did yesterday disappear

Behind lusting thorns of brier

Succulent madness fervent

Heavy is the intoxicating scent

Of the playacted midnight

Violence against lost respite

Fingers barely touching stars

Say you will delight me afar

Upon the liquid dream catchers

A woven hammock of water

Sing my lullabies back to rest

As railways twist unto west

Future caught between feathers

Of a soft incandescent laughter

Oxygen’s an ocean of sagacity

Burning out blinking lights of folly.

Advertisements

Leave a comment

Filed under Poetry

Damage Control

Doors slam, harsh words
We blame each other
Three days, shut out
I can’t take this breakdown…

~*~

The riot in my head

Crying, crying.

Waiting. One moment

Its tongue is jaded serpentine,

The next I’m wrapped

Within its crushing embrace

Struggling, struggling,

Weak. My tired feet are

Dancing on nail beds

To desire my rightful place,

Daring. How dare me—

How dare he to profane

She to recollect cicatrices

With the tip of an accusing finger

To me. Heartless ribcage, will

You leave ligatures all over my

Silenced lips once again?

Of course, that is what you

Do…that is what you will…

Twain capricorn souls and volunteering

Severed hands…is the fragrance of

The future solely mine; no, yours—

To dominate selfishly?

No. No? No!

Need I even repent in my

Inquiries, regretting it all too late?

Struggling, struggling. Weak

As of late. Acrid flesh peels off

To reveal viscid fruit within a

Decaying flower, sweet like the lying

Promises of the riot in my head,

Crying, crying. Waiting.

~*~

And it’s all, and it’s all
And it’s all in the back of my mind
All I want, all I want
All I want is to turn back time
Dare me darlin’, I don’t want to let go
And what we need is a little damage control…

Leave a comment

Filed under Poetry

Post-its for the Past

Now you’re here and you don’t know why
But under skinned knees and the skid marks
Past the places where you used to learn
You howl and listen, listen and wait for the
Echoes of angels who won’t return…

~*~

MAYBE LOST

I have my back on the sun, facing forward

So long and goodnight to the mornings I will discard

In the highway I constructed, shadows shift

I think I’ll be walking on this life they call a road trip.

~*~

CASTCADE

Conflagration flying past oceans, murmuring tacit prayers

Counting fallen feathers for the losing sky-drowned hours

Causeries bartering hanging lights and silver dollar moons

Crashing in collisions of star showers, orbit heaven at noon.

~*~

ANGER DANGER

Leave me to beat out the bad news with a belt

But I never leave scars, only angry marks and welts

Soon they’ll come back for another box round

Perhaps this time I can bury them all into the ground.

~*~

MIRRORED OFFING

The distorted horizons appear to be a looking glass

In which vacant visages can peer out flummox past

Unblinking funicular eyes oscillate betwixt the edge

Again it sinks into cosmic cisterns, glazing the ledge.

~*~

RECEIVED

The letter I sent to the past never arrived for the message

The return address was blurred, I lacked a ten pence postage

So I’ll send another envelope to the future me, it’s enough

This time, I’m changing the postmark and licking the stamps.

~*~

But you’ll just sit tight and watch it unwind
It’s only what you’re asking for
And you’ll be just fine with all of your time
It’s only what you’re waiting for…

Leave a comment

Filed under Poetry

Suicide is Imperative; Dying is Relative

Stop me before I go to waste
For every heart that’s born can easily be torn away
I can’t comply to this state of consciousness
That we call life, and though I stand here to perish
I will stand here ’till I die…

~*~

Suicide is such a selfish word, isn’t it?

An exquisite hum never to be whispered

And muttered under cautious hushed breaths

But don’t let your sweet little girl pull the trigger

And send her down along to her early death

It’s the last resort to someone who has nothing

Failure is relative, but then again so is dying

An easy way out, you don’t need to leave a note

Be an open ending with your last pages never wrote

Jealous hearts seek clarity in forms of twisted mentality

Bladed sobriety, I wish someone would find me

But no dares to ask, and no one dares to kindle and ignite

The bonfire that might burn down the entire midnight

The attempts I’ve hidden behind star-spangled band-aids

The promises thrown away like an extinguished hand grenade

Guilt, pain, contrition shaken up like a secret toxic potion

Three cheers and toast to us, and here’s to murderous emotions

For the lifelines we destroyed, the stars that will outlast

The existence that will never be, the sulphurous bite of the past

For giving up the ghost so hard the grim reaper gets chills

For the recovery that is bullshit misery, for all the numbing thrills

Don’t decode the snarled banter, dying’s really just entertaining

A childish amusement, they say it’s serious, but why am I laughing?

It’s so easy to throw yourself to the vultures instead of the sharks

There’s nothing left to be salvaged if you’re already torn apart

Suicide, it’s such a disgustingly beautiful word, isn’t it?

For the bruised minds that keep slipping under the lack of leverage

Three unlucky syllables can never sum up all the sussurous pleas

Never to do it, for our spines never to be avaricious nor weak

But sometimes, enough is just fucking enough, isn’t it?

Never mind the big picture of the future if the details are flawed

The decades I have left won’t compare to the halcyon thought

For the peaceful centuries of eternity that my corpse has left to rot

Life is difficult. I should just kill myselfshouldn’t I? Why shouldn’t I?

~*~

Stop me from making more mistakes
Fallen friends have learned their lessons
Fate their teachers taught them all too late
Don’t teach me too late, just hide me from my fate…

Leave a comment

Filed under Poetry

averted ambition

i’m so tired

from chasing

after empty air

and looking

for something

that isn’t there

i want badly

to believe that

it’s more than

it ever seems

but am i just

fooling myself

is it just a futile

otiose dream?

Leave a comment

Filed under Poetry

dial tone dream

i found my true calling

for the longest time

i’ve already known

i found my true calling

but just it won’t pick up

the goddamn phone.

Leave a comment

Filed under Poetry

backwards looking forward

the future excites me

but it also scares the fuck out of me

for it’s quite fun to dream

about all those little what-ifs

and could-haves

and all the things yet to do

in a future that’s not carved in stone

but i still need the notches

as a leverage to hold on

and life is handing me the chisel now

i wonder if i would take it

or let my fear get the better of me

and take the plunge

as i let myself simply fall

even though i know fully well that

i couldn’t fly.

Leave a comment

Filed under Poetry

A Letter For Future Youngbloods

As little moments fade, they come forth at night
Demanding all I think about, maybe it’s how we roll
Well, I can’t get better of stone, I won’t be letting her
Out and I can’t keep drowning this down…

~*~

Don’t let my arrival stutter this departure

Hostile eyes for bankrupt hearts endured

A balance between cosmos and dopamine

Atrium burns irascible, drunk on kerosene

.

High time to return my inimical courtesies

Retaliate and sophisticate, lavished parody

Atrophy my sanity, perversity on the floors

Convalesce as I lock up the revolving doors

.

Moments of sunshine, share words of harm

Briefcases brimmed blue, serpentine charm

Girls in the courtyard as boys make amends

Falling dollars, promises and lies to be spent

.

Cutting corners, raised stakes, paint, repent

Gamble equivocal disgrace, true half-meant

Situation at its vertex, but it never escalates

The venturers and inveterates said retaliate

.

But the end’s always the same as all the rage

Lying all alone and sleeping on spare change

Waiting for the world to reveal its only hand

Children of men, don’t pretend to understand

.

Glowing eyes extinguished by the fading moon

Kings of contagious plagues, stonewall’s gloom

Force of habit take society’s fashionable design

What is yours is mine and what is mine is mine

.

If I gave you all of my decency, showing up my only face

Ostentate, create, but don’t spend all of that in one place

Dear unfortunate youngblood, where did your youth go?

Your future’s squandered away, there’s nowhere to be so.

~*~

Oh, your eyes they glow
So pretty, they’ve lost their word
They king me the love
And I know I’m dead inside
I’m reminded every night
So girl, just know it won’t be me…

Leave a comment

Filed under Poetry

decisions

i won’t

think of it

too much

or hard

if there’s

no future

to be made

or had.

Leave a comment

Filed under Poetry

Neurotoxicity

I’m just like a fly on the wall
Tear off my wings and I’ll take my last breath
And all my aspirations are dead
Because I’ve ripped them to shreds; now I fall…

~*~

this tiredness

melts into everything

and burns into your

mercurial core

until it turns into lead

and circulates into

your system;

weighing you down

paralysing you,

poisoning your veins

until you’re stupid,

sluggish,

stuporic,

lethargic and cold,

and every hue of

your senses

dulled down into

pencil graphite grey,

and it’s all you

can do to push before

the point breaks;

you run out of

words to say, you

run out of excuses to

give, you run out of

your willingness

to continue the story…

so you stop caring

and become

this lazy,

complacent,

apathetic,

hedonistic man

with a disregard for

his own sake

as well as others.

yes, you are working

hard, but only

to avoid interaction,

going outside,

listening to others,

possible conflicts,

social contact;

to avoid everything

that you once

enjoyed and loved,

and to keep

your intents behind

deprecating assurances

and passive acts.

you don’t know what went wrong.

you have everything

and everyone waiting for

you out there,

waiting for you to

hold on, keep up, go on

but the lead is

detaching your tongue,

replacing your blood,

constricting your diaphragm,

shriveling your organs

from decaying and necrosis,

clouding your neurons,

it’s already killing you inside

but no one ever notices

it’s a perfect slow suicide;

the masochistic cure.

and you’re too tired

to even give a shit anymore,

and you’re just tired

to do any of those things;

to stand up,

walk it off,

set to the future,

and change your ways—

it’s cliché, but hell,

you know that you’re

already fucked

and you’re just too tired

to fucking care.

~*~

Now I’m feeling, at the end of the rope
Now I’m falling, down the rabbit hole
Am I losing my mind? Or I just can’t let go?
I feel like, I feel like I’m losing control…

Leave a comment

Filed under Poetry