Tag Archives: game

lying fallow

Bury me inside this labyrinth bed
We can feel that time is dilated
We can spend the night in fascination
You can thread the needle time and time again…

~*~

everything shall come

to a point where

the dagger draws

deeper and the days

are cut short by

the desire to look

better, “i’ve been

here before”, bend

the irons, scarlet letter

and just let the pieces

roll away, when the dice

hits the mark right above

their concrete stage

unshakable, unbreakable

never admit to fine mistakes

seek the vigil where the

sun used to hide, before it

was all used up for another

casualty’s rude surprise

because it has been quite

a journey, though the

satisfaction was never

symmetrical—so

send the blame all along the

watchtower, for it had

always been non-functional.

~*~

Something to confide in
Something to erase
Just look at where we’re lying
An invisible space…

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Keep It Going, We’re Nearly Out

Least I’ve been looking
Real-faced on my side
Still don’t know how
To be all in the mind
All in my mind
It’s what you would want…

~*~

You’re bringing me down

But enough is enough

I’ve got some good rounds

Now I’ll call out your bluff

.

Spit a tooth and some lungs

Minutes before it’s all over

Say they call me high-strung

But I always blow my cover

.

Just to win their way to lose

Just to dance around the noose

Just to decorate another bruise

And leave the coroners confused

.

I’ll bring myself down now

It’s a game of its own entirely

You’ve had your sadistic fun, now

It’s time for that bland apology

.

Because it’s just only fair for us

To keep our busted bones locked

When it’s all over and overdone

There’d be no space left for a gun.

~*~

Looking real spaced in my eyes
I don’t know how to be
Here all the time
You know that I was
I was ready to be alone…

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Filed under Poetry

The Swindler

you’re not

allowed to be

surreptitious

raise all the

stakes, but act

so suspicious
.

this game’s

quite easy, but

you always lose

your words are so

rich, but you’re

not even famous

.

you’re not

allowed to be

sanctimonious

the world turned

away, and now

you’re too callous

.

hang your head

low, the shame

comes in chorus

we see you for what

you are—nothing

but ridiculous.

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Aggravate

It’s a wink

It’s a smile

It’s a tribute

It’s defiled

It’s an insult

It’s the lie

It’s who wants

To even die

It’s a stone

And a bruise

One got hit

And they lose

It’s a doubt

It’s cold flame

For a kid up in

A wrong game

It’s a smirk

It’s a grin

It’s the fun

For who wins

It’s a sinner

It’s a cynic

It’s too funny

Now, isn’t it?

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[c]lose

your heart is open

or so you proclaimed

you swallow tears whole

and say it’s fair game

.

your mind is open

but every part’s closed

and you blame the unspoken

with your dull overdose.

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Filed under Poetry

happy cake day, sunflower.

I got a lot of things on my mind right now
A million ways to think about you
I can’t say I expected anything different
‘Cause the way you complicate me’s simple
She didn’t stutter, my chest flutters
Cardiac attack in the cradle of the summer…

~*~

you’re more than just the love song i play

when i feel like falling down the stairs—

you’re the landing that catches my broken bones.

.

and honestly, i don’t want to go on and on about how

you’re sunshine in the fog, or peachy sky cliches etcetera

i ran out of them a long time ago on your smile alone

.

i never get tired of those stupid monochrome dreams

at night where no one’s talking but i hear voices everywhere…

guess you’re the only voice i wanna hear in my head

.

because that’s all i am, another overused arcade game

and you pushed all of the big red buttons and you made me

self-destruct like pixelated fireworks to win the round

.

but that’s okay. i don’t mind. heaven is but a concept

i’m rather not willing to get lost in, but halos and hazards

are all there are to it. but you’re worth it…aren’t you?

.

but i guess the sour taste doesn’t ever leave me now

and i badly wish i could just forget about you, and myself,

and the days i chewed off the grey-painted calendar

.

for i don’t need to leave pastel notes or egg timers

or freshly-brewed coffee on the kitchen to let you know;

the universe says that’s not how reality works now

.

so instead i’ll tell none of my best friends about your laugh

and wish your name on every fairy light and lucky dandelion

that reflects the iridescence of your watercolour ocean eyes

.

and i’ll tangle up my breaths and my words and my awful art

and i’ll break the hourglass just to stop time for a while—and i’ll sing

to keep my yellow lovely safe from the world i can’t ever have.

~*~

I’m superstitious, the kid’s vicious
Bubblegum smile, taste the cherry on her lips!
You know I want you in the worst way
I need you like cake on my birthday
The way you operate is so sweet
I need you like cake on my birthday…

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Back To The Red Tapes

You are a handful of roses
Thorns and a cheap bouquet
True, I’m a walking disaster
They told you to stay away
Seems like I’m making
A deal with the devil…

~*~

I remember when we loathed each other

And what we wouldn’t do to one up and over

Subtle poison in each vindictive word and verse

Poised to hit the most vital organs and curse

.

We smeared the walls with our cold fresh blood

Leaving basilisk messages for another pitying god

And undertones of candy-coated punches in stitch

In plates of ‘hope you die, you conniving little bitch’

.

But sometimes the relapse was felt in compassion

A confusion of collisions, casting the condensation

I didn’t know if it was coincidence, or I was insane

But the universe parked parallel, changed the game

.

Passing the halls with the same songs in our mouths

Composing about the same things that gave us doubt

Secretly racing the other one for covert little challenges

And trying to push at each other’s buttons and nuisances

.

It was a mess, and the bleak battleground ain’t so pretty

But the smoke cleared up and the aftermath forgot me

Where the sun was aglow and my coffee tasted less bitter

And tears only came in the form of erupted endeavours

.

Now I read the past stories and I want to laugh out loud

Enough to disturb the anxiety that’s keeping my head out

The snide smirks, the loose lies, the entertaining electricity

Who knows what’s meant for you and what’s meant for me

.

After the sheer mayhem that came after each round of drinks

After every conversation held and confessions begging not to think

After all the chaos caused and the devastation left in its wake

It’s a lot easier to admit I’ll miss it—I’d listen again for a rewinded take.

~*~

‘Cause I feel like a bad joke
Walk the tight rope to hold onto you
Was it real? Or a love scene
From a bad dream? I don’t think
I can forget about it…

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Rhyme and Reason

I’m a stray for blue boys and a songheart for little bo-peeps.

I wish I didn’t exist in dusty novels and forgotten storybooks the way that your obscene breath does, the way that your dreamscape wings fall off into ashes, the way that you simply do. Always in the ways that I couldn’t.

I despise myself for being a complete upside-down fool, madly limerent for this fiasco of a game that I’ve lost the moment before it even started, violently surrendered and beaten blonde and black to the point where I start doubting myself in bitter gunshots and giving my sweet bullets all up just so I could be your unsigned scarlet letter.

Do you understand me? Because I don’t.

I wish I would have written a hundred synesthetic postcards left unsent, but all I have are these hundred meretricious words to tell you what you don’t know. What you won’t know. And what you never will.

Stay lost, blue boy. Or you’ll end up like me.

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Filed under Prose

Dumb Damsels and a Purple-Haired Knight (A Heroic Story You Don’t Wanna Hear)

When you do me like that can you tell my brain turns off?
No, my favorite set of stairs is the one up to your room
And my heavy set of cares evaporates all around you
Evil comes in pairs and we like what we do
You’ve got me feeling like a walking love song…

~*~

You make me feel like a kiss in the park

And hiding away all alone in the dark

Tangling my fingers when the distant night starts

To visit my messy bedroom, to play its part

You make me feel like a four-leaf clover

And a dandelion in the breeze, dancing together

Lucky twice, make a wish and repeat

Pluck out the shamrock and carry the wind

You make me feel like sunshine lovely

With a heart of bright yellow and words of blue honey

A trip down spiraling staircases until I’m dizzy

I’ll miss a step and fall down, won’t you catch me?

You make me feel like a warrior that just lost

But the princess’ spell is theirs in the end, what matters most

My system is awry with the chemicals that feed

On my serotonin mind, and I feel you like my greed

You make me feel like a poet, and you know it

And all the books that I’ve read don’t compare to your wit

My head’s far too stupid to be making up dumb stories

But I’ll gladly write you a trilogy if you say please

You make me feel like another kiss that was not

An embrace for the shadows, a quiescent game of say what

You make me feel quite funny, but I don’t want to laugh

So I’ll just smile about you in my dreams and let you have the last.

~*~

Let’s tangle our legs again
The world doesn’t need us to leave our heads
Let’s tie our breath in knots again
Nothing’s complicated if we pretend…

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the waiting game

anticipation

is building

and building

and building up

and still building…

but without

the relief of a

needed release,

it’s all i could do

not to crumble

under my own

nervous weight.

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Filed under Poetry