Tag Archives: go

phantom boy

don’t you go,

phantom boy

i’m still not done

painting your portrait

to hang in my walls

long after the house rots,

long after i’ve passed away.

they said to let you go

for you’ve already found

your bluest heaven

where you can sleep with

fleecy floral angels,

but i don’t think i could

let you go that easily.

i want to capture you,

your ethereal silhouettes,

your faded outlines,

your scars and scepticisms,

your details and blurs,

and your coalescing heart.

because i still have mine,

phantom boy

and it beats angrily—

refusing to let me rest

until every colour, linework,

and careful brushstroke

is immaculate and

tastes tangibly of you.

i know you wish to leave soon,

phantom boy…

but won’t you please stay

and spare me just

one last masterpiece?

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anatomical dissection: mouth

i bite my cheek

until it bleeds

and taste the failure

that impedes

i’ll save the best

the best for last

and drag my tongue

back to the past

i hold, and hold

like i won’t let go

but little did i know

i fell a long time ago.

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crave

all i ever

want was

to get away

from all the

people that

tell me i can’t.

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mental block. (1)

***

i’m caught

between

sadness

and fear

question is,

where do i

go from here?

***

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midday

the heat is heavy

and cumbersome

and it presses down

every inch of my

slow-roasted flesh

down to my chest

into my choked lungs

now, i would inhale

but that would mean

that i’m voluntarily

letting the heat in

so i think i’m fine

holding my breath

for now, and waiting

until summer goes away.

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after the lobotomy

Pardon me, cutting sleep
I’m taking up grinding teeth
You’re why I’m sitting here, hating myself
For needing someone so bad
And feeling dumb dumb dumb…

~*~

mind your head

can’t concentrate

i want you to go

don’t stay away

i’m being feisty

my smile is numb

you got me walking

saying “goddamn”

you’re in my line

of sight and range

but duck your head

before it’s too late

my voices are all out

i won’t say a thing

but i’ll hang around

till i get what you mean

pardon, i lost my mind

when you came around

you’re far too high for me

so let me go, let me go down.

~*~

If why I’m sitting here
All goes wrong
Just pushing me back to Texas
Walking bum bum, goddamn…

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“go away”

i’m terrified

of being

left alone

so i do it to

everyone

before they

do it to me

thinking that

no one would

get hurt that way

but all it ever

does is hurt

all of us.

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R·A·R·E

“But I will soon forget the colour of your eyes
And you’ll forget mine…”

~*~

Oh honey, just know I think you’re rare

But so do a million pairs of staring eyes

I carved your eternal words on my skin

While their dirty desks are filled with lies

.

But I’ll ignore the protests of my chest

I was your worst, but you were my best

Convulsions staunched won’t be enough

To revive my suppressed detesting to last

.

So let me be your only saving grace notion

Under conflagration, in epileptic inspiration

I’ll be your rage, you’ll be my perfect disease

Cure my unclung heartstrings from mercenaries

.

That vain to steal the gold rush in your tongue

And leave the staccato pain where it all began

You’re staling breath my lungs sought to keep

I can exhale underwater if my onyx skies need

.

A drop of fragile storm, if your drought doesn’t break

And I’ll listen to your soft melodies just to stay awake

They’re all florid sycophants, ostentatious in clamours

They may casually admire, but I would eternally adore

.

Because darling, I always think you’re the rarest of them all

And a million pairs of eyes might look but they’ll never know

How, in this peripheral passion, how bruised and cursed I’d fall

Just to reach the light that you hold, I’ll always stay while they all go.

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run boy run

and i just don’t want

to spend the rest of my life

chasing down another

hollow-pointed ambition

i’m already too late, so

i need to start now, or else

i will never go on.

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triggers in traffic lights

I’ve been drinking while I’m driving down the highway
Haven’t blinked in like a minute, yeah it’s quite strange
I’ve been thinking ’bout all of the things
I might say or might do to you…

~*~

body like a car crash

i’m driving too fast

trying to get rid of

the devil riding on

my fucking shoulder

telling me don’t stop

.

i can’t blink anymore

they took away my view

and my hands are shaking

on the steering wheel as

i tear down the highways

chasing up atlantic to hell

.

but once i pull the trigger

and hit you with my bullet

i’ll fight in drunken sunsets

until i hear you admit all of it

and when you do, i’ll let it go

i’ll take my hold off the brake

and we’ll careen out of control

bodies colliding on the high road.

~*~

Telling you I won’t slow down
Won’t slow down

Girl you gotta know right now
There’s no way out
Imma pull the trigger off, and imma let
These bullets talk…

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