Stay young and at the top of our lungs
Our hands are free, our lives have just begun!
It’s getting dark, we should go back
But what’s the use if what you love is what you have?
And I could die right now for something beautiful
To take me somewhere else; oh, I try to calm down
As I drag myself along these severed hands…
~*~
stay young
and keep your hands on the gun
don’t move along
and stay for the night
for the dark night that bleeds
in drunken colours
away from everything else
in the picasso paintings we called home
before we calmed down
and stopped severing our songs
so break me down
break down the better parts
that make us scream in the backseat
of crashing red cars
and i won’t run this time
so run me over
i’ll tally up the torques
torture me with tiring promenades
and hand grenades
and alcoholic stories that leave my cheeks numb
and when i pass the fuck out
carry me to my door
like you never promised me before
and i’ll leave you to stare
at the closed windows
throwing brick walls to play fair
just don’t bother with praying
don’t bother me
if the burning sun persists to remind you
don’t listen to the rain
listen to the suffocating hallways
give me what you can take
and if you still think you’ll be sorry
darling, your voice is keeping me awake
so what if i forget regret?
by then i wrote all these apologies
a thousand fucking times now
until i could taste the wounds on my tongue
until my hands are dragged into the ocean
until i don’t know what it means to be alive
what does it mean to breathe?
you lacerated my lungs
and monopolised my oxygen
so i guess i asked the wrong person
and i would do it again
until you love every broken bone in my body
but do you even give a fuck
that it’s cold outside
and all my mutated veins are frozen over
into dismembered accidents
of a lifeless smile?
don’t keep haunting me, darling
texas may be forever but california isn’t
and we could only wish to swim
against inferno summers and dishwater hurricanes
parched throats like a pyromaniac
before we crash on the rocks
and end up losing our bedrooms in the sky
did you fall away?
heaven is yours to plot my demise
when we’re stumbling over west coast clubs
and deadlocked in socal lies
i make the best mistakes to choose
when you’re wearing my lipstick and i’m in your shoes
crying until the lemon groves grow
and turn our memories of encino holidays sour
desecrating sacrilegious in santa cruz
saint anna has nothing left to lose
and los angeles is chanting ooh, la la la
the walk of fame is tipsy
the stars don’t remember their fame
hollywood is getting far too busy
and we’re covered in blood in san francisco
standing by the earthquake’s fault line
trying desperately to find out
which of us pushed the other one
but i’ll remember all the disasters forever
like how we convulsed with laughter
dissecting, exploring our decaying anatomies
relapsing into recovery
dancing circles around the hospital
and never even asking what’s happening to us
as we’re dragged under hispanic dust
dizzying in spin the bottles and betting hack money
ferris wheels and carousels and vomit
confusion reassuring with promises full of shit
the happiest place on earth feels sorry
disneyland’s just a ride away
watching movies at anaheim driveways
falling asleep at the rolling credits
diving into high tide currents of long beach
until one of us drowns deep
and we hid away in sulphur kisses
poignant in mission bay high
crushing red cups in san diego backyards
digging crowns and graves in clairemont for the day we die
so hold your mouth, we’ll be fine
i’ll tell you you’ll be okay, but i would be lying
for romance, for a chance
to entrance the devils pumping blood
for a nonexistent god
for you, for me, for loveless mercy
for love and everything that’s bad in this world
you whisper “baby, i’d kill for you”
oh honey, don’t you see? i’d fucking kill you
i’d count the sugar on your lips
i’d count the stars that collide all over your skin
i’d count all the chemicals that saturate me
when you count the sand on the shore like sweeter sins
soaking me in
breaking me down
until i’m wasted on your voice
until the wine tastes cheap
and until we’re entangled
like grey cobwebs and red tapes
and starving friends preaching eloquence
like our elusive selfish escapes
so please shatter your mirrored soul for me
and i’ll paint them over in stained glass
for the hollow cathedral
we’ll murder our lusted vows in
we both knew this moment would never last
cause i loved your shameless destruction
and that was a fucking mistake
i should’ve loved everything else in your dying eyes, darling
because that was all it would ever take.
~*~
I’m gonna buy a cheap bouquet before it dies on the display
(Gonna break down) Break down the better side of me
(The better side of me) Well I know, I know if I die young
Then we can wake up screaming in your bed
And our lungs are begging us to calm down!