Tag Archives: idk anymore

The Taste Of Bad Medicine

Drag my hand behind you
Like a chain behind a truck
Sparks over your carpet while
I chase you through the darkness
Somebody’s supposed to fall in love
But nobody even calls; somebody’s supposed to…

~*~

If I held the gun that made your insides feel worse

Tell me, is it still a blessing or have I become your curse?

Your marionette body makes me fall apart again

After I’ve taken my prescriptions and adjusted my skin

.

I’m too selfish to taste all these abrasive chemicals

Forming newer lies at the tip of my pale purple tongue

So won’t you take them away and shatter up these brick walls

That’s keeping my sanity in, just another emergency man

.

In the bedroom floor where our breaths feel like the new testament

My tell-tale heart is still writhing and clawing desperately at the cement

You buried me in black and white, but all I could see is an endless blue

Starving for some modesty like it’s some unheard modern-day virtue

.

So break me away, I’m responsible for this reckless self-medication

Just to sleep and dream a little longer, just to find something to hold on

Because all I hear is anguished screaming from the other side of that door

And I could only listen so much to this overdose before I could take no more

.

If I held all the pills that made your insides feel worse

Tell me, am I your blessing or do I have to call up a hearse?

Your puppeted agony makes me fall apart, and then

I’ll take two and pass out just so I could call you in the morning.

~*~

Tear this place apart
Until you find me hiding, silently I wait
You’ll be excited just to see me someday
Everything’s okay…

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Sleepyheads

Found no solution but to let the pieces fall where they fall
Even with nothing left, I’ve got more than you know
I wanna let you in and we’ll begin
I oversimplify this all the time
Somehow I think that I’m alone
I wake up every day and change my mind…

~*~

Good morning, darling sunshine, how are you today?

I’m a thousand miles where I live, and a million where you are

But it’s a little closer to you, and a little less familiar

I’m up eight floors of daybreak and shaded in viridian colours

Although it’s a quiet haze for me, I’ve never felt better

.

Good morning, yellow lovely, hope you’re having a great day

My blankets may be cold, but my dreams feel rather safe

Of insane trainwrecks and mad doctors and accidental murders

Okay—perhaps it was a little strange, but I must confess

I woke up in metaphysical iridescence, and I’ve never felt the best

.

Good morning (or perhaps evening), how do you do?

I’ve gone to places and labyrinthine mazes and incoherent disputes

But the best is where I was, where I don’t think too much

Where I’m content with overly-caffeinated nights and later-day chats

And I still constantly think of home—not the place I’ve been

But inside the illusion of infinity thereafter, where I’m contented again.

~*~

Why did I let it go? Why did I leave myself?
No explanation as to why I’m here and not somewhere else
It’s reaping what I sow, I think I need some help
I wanna let you in, and we’ll begin..

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How To Say “Sorry”

There’s ten million ways to say an apology

But I could only count five stars blinking out on the palm of my hand

Whispering that this illusion’s grand, and I’m too infinitesimal to understand

How the world works and spins in its torque

How the skies are blue and why there’s rain in June

Why everyone lies and why people die

Why memories are memories, why angels don’t fly

Why chaos reigns in anarchy, and why you refused to say sorry

Even though I was bleeding out in front of you

And how the bruises are evidence for my allegations being true

But even without the vivid purple tattooed on my skin

I could still count every single sin

That you carved with a knife on the back of my heart

Saying you won’t end my life when you killed me with an art

Pressing down, feeling rife, tearing my veins apart

Will you still say this was simply for a restart?

For an iota of the darkest eyes you still call human

Face away from the tragedy and turn your soul to the sun

If those lips are crushed under the pressure of the truth

Fucking scream about everything, they won’t refuse if they knew

About the spinning planet, how they won’t understand it

About the blue skies and rainy day day lies

About death and regrets and how angels can fly

About memories being memories, and chaos made to create

And about how you refused to say sorry while you stood at hell’s gate

I’m at a loss for words, and everything escapes—

There’s ten million ways to say an apology

But I could only count one mouth moving soundlessly at the palm of my hands

Saying that my delusion’s grand, and I’m too foolish to understand

Against the stubbornness and the haze, that you were never one of the ways.

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