Tag Archives: impossible

Second chances, they don’t ever matter

I’m an impossible person, a total mess

I haven’t got any clue

I lose my grips on foolish contrivances

That much is all true

But I found someone, a damaged man

Though I never knew

You are the only one who understands

And now I lost you too.

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Of Detestable Desires and Despicable Devotions

This isn’t fair, no
Don’t you try to blame this on me
My love for you is bulletproof
But you’re the one who shot me…

~*~

I don’t understand any of this.

All this opposite similarity, juxtaposed like faded victorian photos in a chromolithograph pendant, an elegant display of memory destruction. Your perfect contradictions. Your earnest sarcasm. Your subtle noticeability. Your intellectual nonsense. How I fell down towards the sky for you. It’s so confusing.

You’re so confusing.

You were the aspirating medicine that poisoned me into debilitation. You were the rusty nail that pierced my discoloured skin and cured my tetanus. You were the hypodermic injection of the drug that made me so high I began to hit the ground.

You were the disease that saved my life.

You were the shadows that kept me comforted as you beckoned the monsters on. You were the darkness that provided me with light at the end of the hopeless tunnel. You were the lingering dawn that never allows me to catch the faintest glimpse of sunrise.

You were black and white, respectively.

You played the professional doctor while you tore experiments down my wrists and carved notches in my backbones. You stitched my wounds shut as you proceeded to open fresh ones. You were my ravelled bandages, and you left me to bleed out.

You were the death cure that nearly killed me.

I was invincibly bulletproof until you shot me with a guillotine. You were a modern day Midas and you turned my stone heart to gold, but you stubbornly refused to touch your own coalfield chest. You were the concentrated oxygen that asphyxiated me as I inhaled your fumes to breathe suffocation.

You were the safest dangerous thrill.

You were fire, burning empires in angry hate and providing towns incandescence in softest hope. You were water, drowning cold lungs and circulating warm blood. You were earth, burying emaciated corpses underneath with moonlight requiems as efflorescent verdancy pushes upwards to greet the ode of the sun.

You were an element that can build and destroy at the same time.

You were the ministerial soldier in a war who offered me the white flag and bayoneted me in the head as I reached for it. You were the scholarly literature that emptied my mind of all knowledge. You were the coronary-inducing suspense that never left me hanging resolutely.

You were the worst kind of poetry.

You were so singularly ironic that you could cure anaemia. I wanted to explore and extricate your simple complexities, so I can finally solve it and leave your unending mystery alone. You were killing me ever so slowly, making me crave for eternal sleep, so that when I die, I can awake to life.

You were the gravity that made me float, and I can’t pull away.

You were never a singular personality. You were murderer who cries over his victims, a mad scientist reviving the patients she killed, a lunatic lover looking for some sanity in the moon. You were a compassionate sociopath, a sinful saint, a lying candour, an innocent hatred. You were a grotesque beauty, you were eternally ephemeral, you were a cruel god.

You were an impossibility.

Most of all, you were hopelessly incomprehensible. I could research the entire world, ascend above human rationale, learn relentlessly for a thousand years, and yet I can still never begin to comprehend the very thought of you. And you are clever, yes, elegantly clever and yet so barbarously sadistic, my love. You knew I wouldn’t ever understand, I was just like the rest of them, so you walked away from me without a second thought and left me. You left me hurting emotionally and physically, you left me for good, and you left me for dead.

You are despicable beyond measure, and I can never leave you.

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Ipse Dixit

You’re begging for the impossible. You plead the fifth and proclaim it’s the inevitable, but I am as solid as the philosopher’s stone circumscribed within the third chamber of my arcane comatose heart. A paralysed blood flow. A coronary heartbeat. The monitor sinks into an eclectic deadline. You perceived the evidence, assimilated the apnoea, penultimately confirmed the apoplexy with an exorbitant sigh and a commiserating disposition. Castigate my otiose conniption if you must, but it wouldn’t make any goddamned difference if I’m a cello strung across a rainbow crossing in the welkin of the Valhalla or a bagpipe resting against a river of magma and hellfire in the very eviscerating core of the earth. It is but an expendable prestidigitation, smoke and mirrors reflecting spectres in the illusion, so why abjure? He himself said it. It is a moot point in a Van Allen Hyperion. For if the very man Himself cannot prosecute it, then let it occur to your benighted follies that your playing God cannot save me. Don’t make me go back. I won’t do it. I won’t.

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☆ never ★

♫•*¨*•.¸¸♪

shut the door on

those naysayers

and enter that

needle that gets

you in heaven

the pendulum is

whining, time

for you to hitch

your dress and

clamber up eleven

impossible! they

whinge, no way!

they maunder and

cry, but it’s a ploy

to get them even

never? why, the

only never you know

is, to those nobbled

preachers, you

should never listen.

♫•*¨*•.¸¸♪

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Filed under Poetry, Southern Constellations

★ before ☆

♫•*¨*•.¸¸♪

before the miracles

and curses merged

into a singular beast

and all the vices and

the virtues had their

one celebration feast

the fall was set to come.

before sun and moon

ran away together to

find another universe

and the horizon and

ocean kissed goodbye

in firmament hearse

the fall would soon run.

before bandits and cops

plead guilty and innocent

make amends to the jury

and you stormed out and

i collapsed in mutual loathe

and cold transpicuous fury

the fall has come and gone.

♫•*¨*•.¸¸♪

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Filed under Poetry, Southern Constellations

I can’t buy you a black heart, you already have mine

I will buy you black dahlias for when you’ll soon return

When the jacks top the pile and all the judges adjourn

I’ll play you a tune, strum empty space in my theremin

You’ll be blushing carnation posies, a flushed melanin

.

I will buy you black kittens for when you can concede

When the auctioneers play their life, into the final bids

I’ll slay you a djinn, I’ll make xanthene stars disappear

You’ll be drowning in silver, and drinking day-old beer

.

I will buy you black shoes for when you jig and show up

When the most futile of molasses spill over their cusps

I’ll relay a broken melody, perhaps a lost Liberace score

You’ll be avoiding tears on the checkered linoleum floor

.

I will buy you black scarves, keep your arterial blood warm

When the conspiracies falter and gypsies lose their charm

I’ll pray you a stale Angelus, and wait for the Lord to rapture

You’ll be in an open field, awaiting your last inevitable capture

.

I will buy you black snow for when you can finally find your way back home

When I accept the fact that you’re quiescent, resting under loam and stones

I’ll drink my hot eggnog, open presents of shadows, and I’ll solemnly remember

You’ll be cold and white as winter night, like my soul is in this solitary December.

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Filed under Poetry