Remember me, she whispered
Heaven’s so far out of reach, and keep me close
Like a moment you’re afraid to leave
So now this is how it feels when you’re all alone
This is how it feels when your heart starts racing
You can ask but you’ll never know
The way it feels, the way it feels…
we’re not in the same universe anymore
and our tears flow in different states—
almost as that of plasma and gravity,
perhaps identical, but not at all the same.
the nostalgia creeps up like bated breaths
dead into the silence in the middle of the night
and it stays to suffocate the humid air—
and it stays to suffocate the insomniac mind.
there’s some form of sophisticated equanimity
that was achieved by neither of our farewells,
because the end was approaching at breakneck speed
and there simply wasn’t any time to be more polite
cutting out crass with guns we left in each other’s mouths
hoping the trigger doesn’t get pulled with our fingers
like issues, contorted into funny shapes that don’t make sense
breaking off has never been so easy as a lacklustre smile
but the stars never forgive, even when they forget
and the light from the horizon flickers indistinguishably
forming a supernova of your voice, faint though almost palpable
branded like indelible ink stains on the canvas of my brain.
this reverberating staccato, this thoughtless caprice, this infinite lethargy…
it never ceases to write cold epistles even when i am fast asleep.
oftentimes, i look into the other dimension of that cracked mirror
into the faceless impostor, the version of me that existed
before you killed it off, and before i killed you off in my plane,
and wish to the efflorescing quarks that you’re feeling the same way.
Lost and terrible, hollow in ways you’ll never know
If it’s all in my head, all in my head
It’s heavier now than it’s ever been, so fake a memory
Keeping me quiet underneath
And if this is the end, if this is the end
Destroy everything and make it new again…