Tag Archives: know

closer to closure

Consider this, consider this
The hint of the century
Consider this the slip
That brought me to my knees, failed
What if all these fantasies come
Flailing around, now I’ve said too much…

~*~

fucking upset.

why is that so?

is it thinking about

the deliberate act

of running steel beyond

your muscle enough

to hit bone, or is it

the happy thought that your

friends won’t give a

fuck about you anymore?

self-pitying act, you

find yourself repulsive

and reel back more as you

find yourself glorifying

the tasteless apathy

.

won’t be missed.

a face like wiped fog

on the windowpane

awkward jokes that never

hit humour quite right

undecoded personality

no one will want to

put up with anymore

won’t be missed?

tears might fall at a

funeral, but it will quickly

wash off, along with you

and the way you laugh

and your paper body

won’t. be. missed.

.

and still, no one.

but why do you even

pretend to be surprised?

the curiosity of their

imminent reactions

burns a giant hole

in your dysfunctional

brain and makes you

grimace, deceptive smile

a burning impulse to

get it over with and find out

are you fucking upset

that you know no one will

give a fuck, or because

you already saw it coming?

~*~

That’s me in the corner
That’s me in the spotlight
Losing my religion
Trying to keep up with you
And I don’t know if I can do it
Oh no, I’ve said too much
I haven’t said enough…

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only

maybe i don’t

matter much

in an ocean of

bodies, far away

beyond your reach

.

but i still want to

say what i think,

all i’ll mean—just

know that you will

always be my favourite.

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Sensum Cacoëthes

I don’t want your body, but I hate to think about you with somebody else
Our love has gone cold, you’re intertwining your soul with somebody else
I’m looking through you while you’re looking through your phone
And then leaving with somebody else; no, I don’t want your body
But I’m picturing your body with somebody else…

~*~

Your flesh does not impress me

The way it arcs against your bones

Or how soft your face must feel

To be pressed feverishly to my own

I dare not dream of fathoms, nor

Embraces on long nights, lukewarm

My fingertips don’t itch to wander

Searching for quicksand to sink into

.

Show me the inside of your mind

Guide me past its strange labyrinths

What makes it yours, lull me with

Candid words you sing in your sleep

And let me know you beyond you

Beneath skin and blood and starlight

Constellating an ephemeral body

Let me hold you beyond lusted disillusion.

~*~

Get someone you love?
Get someone you need?
Fuck that, get money
I can’t give you my soul
‘Cause we’re never alone…

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Stranded

A decade’s worth of anger

But be frank, control your temper

Test the tidal tempest water

Weigh them down, be the anchor

.

Crash the rocks, losing colours

Know thyself and fuel the embers

Signal fire to blind the rancour

And above all else, never remember.

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Blasé

“you’re too young

to be jaded by love.”

said she, twisting

imaginary wedding rings

on a broken finger

.

mustering an odd smile

weak and halfhearted

as the glittery ache behind

my eyes betrayed just

barely a glimpse of

.

the devotion i’m still

wasting myself on

of inked skin and shared

laughter, but only the

demons in my head hear

.

if only she knew. if only

you knew. if only i didn’t

know any better—then

perhaps i wouldn’t be old

enough to even start caring.

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on the subject of side glances leading to an unexpected intuition…

the petty assumptions

will do you no good

your mind’s still a mess

leave it as you should

he says it’s mental

that’s right for a change

the thoughts you can’t feel

but you could explain

there’s already one

why are you still looking?

hope has a cost, and

you’ll pay for the broken

so prove yourself wrong now

he doesn’t know yet

but don’t leave all that out, and

dare to find out and forget.

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another cog in the murder machine

every time

that i think

i have my life

back together,

another piece

i didn’t know

was even there

falls off again.

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(lost and) found

why do

i hide you

why do

i even try,

to convince

myself that

what i’m doing

is alright?

.

why did

i lose you

when you’re

just a lie,

and why do

i continue

when i know that

it’s not right?

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fell for it

heartache fucking hurts

especially if i’m hollow

i lose myself to the wind

and end up in tornadoes

heartache fucking hurts

especially if it’s shallow

i never lose, only to you

so what the hell do i know?

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No thanks, I’m not hungry.

There’s no one left lying on the second story floorboards
And I’m sure they heard next door, but the bottles are hollow now
And there’s room at the bottom and I would
Take it all back if I could, but I won’t!

~*~

There are rumours at the bottom of my bottle

And the windows are filled with hazy complaints

I’ve got a dollar and a nosebleed left in my pocket

Take a rocketship to the right and a bullet to left

Surrogate phantoms take their place in my head

Because the original ghosts left a long, long time ago

I don’t want to find it, so I lock it all up in my chest

My hands tied to the anchor, but they don’t need to know

There are starving liars at the bottom of the ocean

And the metal submarine has a growing hole on the floor

I’ve got a stick of gum and a bruise left in my pocket

Take the low blows when I go and the gunshot wounds to go.

~*~

Sit back, get my palette wet
Getting mentally prepared
For the consequences
And you know why
Because the neighbors
Have complained damn near every night…

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