Tag Archives: life

Ring the Bell Referee, and Let the Fight Begin

Such a shame you had to go and run your mouth
Your mouth is what you make it but at least I’ve got real friends—
Can you hear me now?! Now that I’m a big star!
Fuck you and your no love for yourself! (It don’t mean shit…)

~*~

Life is a kickass enemy, and the rage is a motivation

Let the judges slit my throat over my unorthodox declaration

It’s hard punches and cold lunches packed with action

Move closer to me now, and step into my own creations

Say my sullied name again, I’m stronger than before

I left my shoes under the bridge so when I fly, I feel lighter

Honestly it’s not that easy to have half of my fun

But this crimson ink bleeds so I won’t have to use a gun

My fingers they splinter from frenetic movements

If I’m still alive right now, I’m only breathing in segments

Ideas run wild and I stumble, I gotta pace to keep up

And I have to learn more about gravity to get the last laugh

Hear the sound of my voice among a stentorian million

Fuck the stars and dollar bills that sing against my emotion

I’ll whisper in silver undertones and break my voice on needles

Roll the dice but you can’t solve all my cryptic riddles

Don’t take my jealous life of matches and propane lights

Kill it fast, don’t let it die, I’m on a hurricane tonight

Spit and masticate the contract written on skin and paper

Throw the shreds in the seafloor bed under the polluted waters

But oh my god, I’ve been looking in the wrong direction

Running away in pilchard pastels over twisting intersections

This turnpike velocity won’t be my ultimate weakness

I’ll try not to splinter my soul, I’ll try never to second guess

So stop staring at me now, your glare is nitrogen seething

I promise I’ll be even later for our preliminary meeting

I’ll praise the chicken scratches I’m proud to call my home

Cursed again, this foolish confidence just won’t leave me alone

I’m exhausted, I’m burnt-out, and everything quavers spasmodically

But shit I’ll use my own words, I’m not gonna borrow from the dictionary

I know this adrenaline high will wear out soon, I’ll collapse from temporary exhilaration

But goddamnit I’ll drag my broken legs to hell if I have to, and I’ll abuse this rare motivation.

~*~

And I’ve got so much to give
But I would kill just to feel less invisible!
And you’ve got so much to learn about gravity
So live it up baby don’t look down
(Live it up baby, don’t look down…)

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Sh*t Happens

Clocks on the wall, talk to watches on the wrist
It’s the moments we relive, it’s the moments like this
When it’s time to get ill, we be so ahead of time
It’s the moments we achieve, best believe it’s the moments

~*~

Choking on shoelaces, eating your own name

Slathered amounts of a faked reversible fame

Eyelids heavy with mascara and lack of sleep

The unruly dreams that weren’t yours to keep

.

Unkempt hair and façade of flowery smiles

Profound Neverland poets in mapped-out styles

Mystical themes and a darker spark to excel

And the gibberish words you throw down the well

.

The cruel irony of it all, of the empty room mess

Until we’re all borrowed and we’re all obsessed

Imageries of sedation to escape every inclination

Treading on hallowed ground and imagined freedom

.

Ethereal tongues cut off the heavenly songs they sung

Adventures and threat, palms chafing on ladder rungs

The lethal dagger of time nears sinews of thin throats

Inconvenient demise popping eccentric egos so bloat

.

The world is a weight, sinking with excessive wait

Recesses of marianas abyss, the hope coming late

Dusty pills, rusty medicines, oiled bones set to grind

Melding thought balloons, chronic timelines of a mind

.

Assuming you’re just a coward, refusing to see this reality’s exuberance

Reasoning your existence is but a tangled storm, relying on your defiance

But don’t wait for the starving zeppelin future to just eat away your name

This is life and shit happens, so wreck your own misery and don’t pass the blame.

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X Marks on the Calendar

“So I’ll toast every beat of my heart like a miracle.”

~*~

Writing scars down your stomach

The acidity ate its way to your lungs

And your decaying and putrid heart

Until you throw it back up, it stung

.

You just have a few weeks to live

Several days to breathe before you die

Which is the most god could give

Calendar holidays in red to bleed a sky

.

Another x mark in your checklist

Another x in your pallid internal system

X’s scribbled on your friends’ eyes

Avoiding your gaze to avoid goodbyes

.

Stuck in synthetic hospital wards

Until the taste is stuck in your tongue

The chlorine and antiseptic pills

Hopscotch games over the IV line one

.

World’s destiny was revolved for your leave

And you swallowed the death cure a bit late

So now you have just a few weeks left to live

But somehow that seems far too long a wait.

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H.appiness, E.nergy, L.ove, P.assion, ME.

Did someone turn the lights out
Or is it just another dark cloud in my head?
Cause I’m cut deep, my heart won’t beat
Deep down low it’s killing me
If I wanna scratch out yesterday
I’ve got so much I need to say…

~*~

Just how can you stop the loaded weapon

From being pulled, when the hair trigger

Is your own rapidly palpitating heart?

Oh shut up me, you don’t know any better,

But you wished that you did from the start.

Plastering hard concrete on your visage

To permanently solidify your playacted role

As the beast inside you sharpens its razor teeth

Screeching against your sandpaper rough soul

And those blinded idiots never quite knew

The shit storm you were really going through

Never saw that your mannequin plastic smile

Was too perfect, just too happy to be real

Calculated and practised to be worthwhile

That it radiates the hatred that you truly feel

And it’s killing you, you’re so sick of the disease

You’re weak, spineless, an apathetic neurotic

So damn useless, bitter as the coffee you dismiss

How can one be paralysed by being pathetic?

But hell, it’s just a stupid phase, isn’t it?

Can’t concern mom and dad with my bullshit

It’s just an angst desperation, demon arms race

Can’t bother my friends with the problems I face

Trying to convince yourself you won’t choke

As you wipe fingerprints off your bruised throat

Suffocation of a rapid fire oxygen evacuation

I’m happy, I’m happy, can’t you see my emotion?

The lights of the stars burrow under the moon

The shadows infect you with regal monster gloom

Glass exhibits of your blank face in the museum

They stuff and capture you, put you in the tomb

Another day of read lines, red lines on the wall

You don’t break your fall when that curtain falls

I’m not alone…I’m not alone…but…I’m lonely

I’m fighting, I’m fighting, and I’m losing badly.

And you raise your lacerated blue wrists again

Praying to the charcoal dark smoke of heaven

But the inky-black blood that is raining down

Is never enough for you to completely drown

Your voice splinters as you choke on your laugh

Judgement glaring through, you try to keep it up

But it’s not enough at all, no, it’s never enough…

No, you’re just never fucking enough.

~*~

I think I need help
Cause I’m drowning in myself
It’s sinking in, I can’t pretend
That I ain’t been through hell
I think I need help
I’m drowning in myself.

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Childhood Plays

Your giggles

Of a childish mirth

Your chuckles

Continuously worth

Its innocence

Contagious to the

Blackest soul

As I just find myself

Also laughing

For no reason at all

Which delights

Your joy even more

We end up in

Cycles of jubilance

And silliness

Benevolence sublime

Tickle sessions

Of a cynic and a child

A baby playtime

And I can feel my heart

Smiling along

Without hesitating pain

As your pure love

Takes away all the strain

Of my darker days.

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Vincent’s Starry Night

Starry, starry night
Paint your palette blue and grey
Look out on a summer’s day
With eyes that know the darkness
In my soul…

~*~

Vincent, the lost pastel colours, they forgot to light your golden stars tonight

Brush strokes faltering and swirling on your ceiling, a tapestry of navy sights

Vincent, you were simply complicated to fool the monsters within from the start

Your artistic chagrin and tortured soul kept ripping your palette emotions apart

.

Vincent, they all laughed at you and they mocked away such a beautiful mind

But if the madness was your universe, who knows what dimensions we can find?

Vincent, you fathomed yourself a disgrace, deemed creations amount to nothing

They all stumbled in your labyrinthine mind, and thus resorted to insipid excoriating

.

Vincent, now you’re gone, and the village mourns for a sun extinguished too soon

You watch them above as you paint the landscapes, reminiscing on the blue moon

Vincent, you were always a warm summer sunflower, and my quaint antebellum art

They may not have truly understood you, but you have always rekindled my hazy heart.

~*~

And when no hope was left in sight
On that starry, starry night
You took your life, as lovers often do
But I could’ve told you Vincent
This world was never meant for
One as beautiful as you…

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Parallel Driveway

Red lights flash in the car we’re kissing in
Call me crazy, I’ve always tried to remind her
That the future’s just a few heartbeats away
From disaster, I’m afraid that I’ve thrown it all away…

~*~

Blankets vertically slashing cuts

In my bedroom morgue disease

Slipping on chrome lighted guts

The fabric of life rips and bleeds

Late midnight run to a pharmacy

Another future has not killed me

As honest as this world’s square

It’s a miracle I’ve not pulled hair

Stained glass prayers can’t save

The ones I loved, the ones I hate

Stay with me, these chances low

But at least the aches shall slow

So complicate my health further

I’ll back out of hailstorm weather

I’ve saved my breath just for you

Still I’ve held it ’til I contacted flu

Immune to coffee with medicines

This passenger drunk on gasoline

So I’ll close both my eyes and drive

Crash my car so I’d feel more alive.

~*~

No! At the top of our lungs
There’s no! No such thing as too young
When second chances won’t leave you alone
‘Cause there’s faith in love…

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“I’ll fill my pen with blood from the sink”

I wrote down this note to save my own fucking life

Shut the burning doors close, pull down the blinds

I’m a menace to the dripping rain from the window

These shots of tonic are almost as cold as my pillow

.

Blurred faces begin to morph into demented sharks

And the stars stuck between their teeth tear me apart

Veins strung taut on emerald lines and silver mercury

I’ll splash your black world with reddened memories

.

For it’s never astute, the drugs I snorted kill my brain

My converse shoes are gritting with sieves in a strain

I abandoned all sense behind the rearview mirror

Along with my good luck charms and paling pallor

.

Because shit’s never absolving, and nothing’s ever fair

From the fucks I failed to give to the way I do my hair

Atoning my punishment within fingers of whiskey

And sever both hands if I’m feeling a little too tipsy

.

So darling, just close your plastic hypodermic eyes shut

And listen to my deep breathing with shallow skin cuts

But pray don’t look into mine, or you will never wake up

Let our redolent pain seep through like stains of teardrops

.

I wrote down this song just to say a beautiful fucked goodbye

If it was any worse than better, the readers would proclaim it a lie

So shut my twisted heart off, pull away my broken finger joints

I was never going through the veil, but without it what’s the point?

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nightmare

reality is

just a bad

dream and

oftentimes

we never

wake

up.

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Cheerful Lessons from a Cynical Asshole

I’m an optimistic person

Can’t you see my wide smile?

I’m enthusiastic asphyxiation

And it hurts like shit all the while

.

I’m a jolly fucking Roger

See me laugh at your plastic jokes

No, I never tell you to shut up

I just silently hope that you’ll choke

.

I’m a person of self-worth

Yeah, I believe in my useless skills

I’m hopeful and me, I shan’t conform

But a sock out of line, I gotta be killed

.

I’m as positive as an electron

Aren’t I learning how to be good?

It’s better to stick to such a delusion

Instead of acting the way I should

.

Shit, I’m a damn happiest camper

And life is treating me fucking well

And if I cannot be any more okay

I guess I’ll catch up with me in hell.

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