Tag Archives: lonely

introvert

always

alone

but

never

lonely.

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Second chances, they don’t ever matter

I’m an impossible person, a total mess

I haven’t got any clue

I lose my grips on foolish contrivances

That much is all true

But I found someone, a damaged man

Though I never knew

You are the only one who understands

And now I lost you too.

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☆ you’re ★

♫•*¨*•.¸¸♪

a masterpiece painting

hanging on the halls of

louvre

critics dissect you with

every brush stroke and

colour

they point at you and

line up to buy souvenir

keychains

yet none of the aesthete

you’ve captured within

remains

you’re a lonely painting

dusty on the dark louvre

halls

another forgotten beauty

left to fade on the dimmed

walls.

♫•*¨*•.¸¸♪

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Filed under Poetry, Southern Constellations

Avoirdupois Tragedienne

But don’t believe
‘Cause yesterday I found her
With her clothes still wet
Crying in the shower
On her knees she screamed
“Why the fuck am I falling apart?”

~*~

Tapes of your your static voice sounding like the stitches you swallowed

A concave complex life, and a Seraphim’s beating wings you followed

Shot like a satellite, burning rapidly on the veil of the thin atmosphere

As soon as your phantasmagoria began, it all became much more clear

.

All they ever do is talk with saccharine bleeding broken tongues

Hoping to discern some logic from a common sense long gone

As you scratch tally marks on your hand silently with a garnet pen

Wishing badly that it was a pair of scissors you were holding then

.
Needle skin and paper hair, and the ashy cigarette butts that you wear

Serotonin tears and that sloven stare which says “I don’t fucking care”

But when the coarsely outlined nightmares all come crashing down

You’ll feel vibrations and aftershocks of the rueful bottomless sound

.

The screaming moon sends all its best from the collapsing space

Torn down like coloured magazines with a single aegean gaze

Bite down on your pencil until your tooth breaks and souls bleed

Whoever said you were gonna fit in this sophisticated puzzle, kid?

.

Another shot bullet, another shot of vodka, cold injections and interjections

Another tearstained pillow muffling and numbing your pained sensations

Sunny post-it notes stuck on a paper bag, for a manufactured inspiration

It’s giving you a nasty sunburn, who wants a blinding optimistic illusion?

.

Parochial drops of burning gold, learn to read between the parallel lines

Midnight nails and garage sales, can’t they read the perspicuous signs?

Tinted shades that block the tainted world away from their callous naïvety

Shaded rose like a melodramatic pose struck in a ludicrous inscrutability

.

Bitter lemon groves with souring hearts, and they close the equidistance

Collapsing off the words that sent your life spiralling into a malfeasance

Too late did I tell you to hold on, when you’re already falling off the rope

With no net to catch your neck, you’re a human aviation that’s out of hope

.

Selling pieces of candy bars and gasoline for the faintest leaks of light

Colliding into dead ends to the empty weekend, and you gave up the fight

Eye blink, don’t think, remember that you’re coalescing gossamer being

Fading fast into a sobered demise, and still, would they even start to listen?

.

Zero gravity infinity, your diminishing fragile tether to an elucidated clarity

Now you’re gone forever, they’ll mourn you in verses of glistening poetry

Your sweet strawberry lips are bruised to purple and forever closed the gates

And I’ll only have the stars and myself to blame, why the fuck was I too late?

.

One casual phase, and the flowers curled and melted into a defiant serendipity

Gory over glory, your scarlet shoes are dripping away your evanescing vitality

A derided heretic, a bland predicament, that living was your terminal etiology

Now you’ve taken the easy way out, and I never even got to say to you…I’m sorry.

~*~

‘Cause you don’t even know you’re an angel
Foolish am I for the times I’ve come and gone
These stars defy love, so close my eyes
And sleep inside your worn-in bed
And it woke me up like a heart attack
When you talk in your sleep I’ll be there
To slow your breath.

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Afternoon Tea for a Fresh Start Fever

Let’s make resolutions
I’ve only got problems and no solutions
You’re just someone to the world
But you’re the world
To someone else who told you
Oh heart of mine
Sing a sad song, sing a sad song…

~*~

So there the two of us were;

Caught in silent meditation

Sipping hot elderflower tea

Heaped with a dash of sky

Minty wisps of teal clouds

And comminuted sunlight

To expel the common cold

The infirmity that bothered

You and I into a contagious

Decrepitude and debilitation

.

You didn’t wish to be a man

Chasing sunflower’s whorls

Spiralling deeper into a lazy

Oblivion, you need a change

I didn’t aim to be that person

Watching her pace when she

Walks, chasing the tiled gaps

‘Til I slam headfirst into a wall

Blindly, I had needed a change

.

I deigned for a fresh start fever

Perhaps I could sweat one out

You sat in a chair of oak wicker

Already setting the kettle down

You’ve added spoonful, for two

Of well-wishes to your already-

Overflowing cup of coppertone

As I asked galaxies, precipitate

Some stars so I can taste lights

.

So there we were then, you and I

Daintily relishing our own cuppas

Patient, taciturn, in piqued smiles

Waiting for sunset to drown us in

Waiting for nightfall to kill us both

Never mind it is way past our teatime

Never mind that I’m using your spoon

Perhaps leaves weren’t the resolution

But the company we’ve both savoured.

~*~

Warning you
Oh, heart of mine
Sing a sad song
And it’s a fresh start fever
Who wouldn’t want to be here?
Welcome to the future
Dream a little bigger…

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I can’t buy you a black heart, you already have mine

I will buy you black dahlias for when you’ll soon return

When the jacks top the pile and all the judges adjourn

I’ll play you a tune, strum empty space in my theremin

You’ll be blushing carnation posies, a flushed melanin

.

I will buy you black kittens for when you can concede

When the auctioneers play their life, into the final bids

I’ll slay you a djinn, I’ll make xanthene stars disappear

You’ll be drowning in silver, and drinking day-old beer

.

I will buy you black shoes for when you jig and show up

When the most futile of molasses spill over their cusps

I’ll relay a broken melody, perhaps a lost Liberace score

You’ll be avoiding tears on the checkered linoleum floor

.

I will buy you black scarves, keep your arterial blood warm

When the conspiracies falter and gypsies lose their charm

I’ll pray you a stale Angelus, and wait for the Lord to rapture

You’ll be in an open field, awaiting your last inevitable capture

.

I will buy you black snow for when you can finally find your way back home

When I accept the fact that you’re quiescent, resting under loam and stones

I’ll drink my hot eggnog, open presents of shadows, and I’ll solemnly remember

You’ll be cold and white as winter night, like my soul is in this solitary December.

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Earth Angel

I disappeared last night
While sleeping in my bed
A field of lavender beneath my head
Another planet, I’ll try to map it
No user interface
It won’t escape me again…

~*~

You fell away from time

Hurtling through space

The people who saw the

Carnage thought it was

Another stray meteorite

.

The sight was sublime

Past clouds you raced

The crater you’ve left a

Deep permanent gash

Standing lone at night.

.

And you softly gaze up

At the dark bruised sky

As pure white feathers

Rained like fresh snow

From your scarred back

.

You drown in coffee cups

You dissolved sugary lies

And the crimson weather

Is dripping faint and slow

In your empty pen and pad.

.

A rejected earthen angel

What were you now to do

But blend within the realm

That they’ve dropped you

Into and be a normal being

.

You taught yourself well

Sometimes miss the clue

Lost your power’s helms

Exchanged into your new

Found emotional standing.

.

Amalgamations profound

Of prose in your halo head

As you pluck tiny narcissus

From their Garden of Eden

As if it is but your quiet sin

.

Luna’s light the only sound

Raven shadows you’ve wed

Your bleak sanity’s detritus

Loneliness your own poison

Tired in the worn human skin.

.

And the humming starlings

Disturbed your soul ponders

So you slam down windows

Hoping badly to shut out all

The rest of the lost universe

.

Your lacerated broken ivory wings

Are starting to growing back hither

As clearest veins’ pulsate and flow

Into a leathery black, and stars fall

As you write another hushed verse.

~*~

Don’t wake up
I’ll be here for centuries
Sweet magnetic energy
Nothing quite like this ever has existed
But God knows how I missed it
Gravity is losing its hold
I can feel it fading…

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The Beast Below

A gargantuan soul, species the very last of its kind

A body of peach and golden intention in its mind

A lonely old heart, yet with a nature quite gentle

Despite our cruelty, carried still the burden it fell

Further deep down, where its love has sustained

The dreams we keep and the world we remained

We sleep sound, and breathe easy, and we thus grow

Live on, rest calm, supported by the benevolent beast below.

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Filed under Fandom Poetry, Poetry

Solitary Confinement

You keep wishing for loneliness, envious of my situation

Craving for solitary confinement, like it’s such a reasonable notion

While I sit idling away as I whittle the peeling paint on the wall

Desperate for human contact, voices in my head taking the fall

Such a special little snowflake, wanting to be left to your own

Never truly knowing how painful it is to be completely alone.

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Thy Kingdom Come

I rule a desolate world, with no men nor mice

I sit brooding in a throne of fire and ice

Thorns and blood placed upon my head acting as a crown

Bestowed along with my power, a ghost-infested town
.

This was my doing, I tried to play the great game

But one wrong step caused everything to go up in flames

Once mighty and filled with valour, now they call me names

Like coward, the destroyer, and the avaricious one to blame
.

Now everything is naught, only bleached skeletons remain

The songs of the dead to haunt me and nagging voices retained

All there is are empty ruined houses and whispering winds

And a regretful lone king with no honour and broken wings.

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