Tag Archives: lose

I Collect Knives For A Living, What About You?

Did you think that this was all an excuse for
Hospitality, I know you think its all because of me
At first glance, I’ll breathe in
Leaving myself no room to move, at all
My mind is so flooded and I’m drunk with regret…

~*~

The tastes of stale regret and naphthalene

Another back turned on the open doorway

Fingers doused in iodine, alcohol, chlorine

Waiting for the pain to settle down, replay

.

Rusty crowbar flirting with the windowsill

These corroded wrists haven’t had their fill

Punctures arresting moments of a contrition

Skins embalmed, synthetic human condition

.

Swirling pastel watercolours and paint thinner

Interpreting artistic gashes, mixing all together

Cobalt strings, a neon glower of vermilion stars

Punishing priorities, daggers and guns on a war

.

Consuming traitor thiamine and betrayal’s booze

The reverse of a fraud, there’s nothing left to lose

A ventriloquist’s windpipe running out of oxygen

Nauseating disorientation, from a stagnant anacin

.

Lifelines tied to sycamore trees, carved ink indelible

But the oaths made by shedding blood can be soluble

Viscera in peril, executing a resentment due fortnight

I’m provoking hospital emergencies or flashing lights

.

Self-sabotage and mutual mutinies, fractured pinky promises

Wayward ethos revolting, a temper testament, trading curses

A compromised compulsion, haldol in hazardous momentum

Meaningless psychosis, mangled liar’s baptism in moratorium.

~*~

A fake, a fraud, forked tongue and I am nervous
At least I can say I made it out this time
I am just fine where you have left me
As for you be sure to cover up your mouth
I don’t know how to say this, my thoughts have just run out…

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Cheers And Happy Judgment Day

Oh, what a time to be alive!
Wake up and smell the dynamite
And keep your eyes locked tight to your screen
And don’t believe everything that you see
You’ll find, modern life’s a catastrophe…

~*~

Walk to the end of the world and cheers to judgment day

We’ll drink all the champagne we want and no one gets a say

I’ll wait ‘til the second coming and get drunk on criticism

In a planet gone wrong, these plans go on, it’s simple mentalism

The losers and lovers and liars all holding up their lighters

Saying three cheers to us and three cheers to all the ones that hate us

I’ll be joining the crowd and singing aloud, trying to drown out

All the screams for peace and sedated panic, they’ll end without a doubt

.

Walk to the end of the world and cheers to judgment day

Life is a game and I didn’t even know how to play it anyway

I’ll kick up the rocks, tear a hole in my socks, maybe I’ll have some fun

We’re all fucked anyhow, so why change now, we were always on the run

The kings and the clergies and the jesters tearing down their castles

Saying we almost had it but it wasn’t worth it, it was nothing but a hassle

I’ll be joining their laughter and offering some banter, trying to ignore

The things that we’ll lose and the things that we lost and the things we had before

.

Walk to the end of the world and cheers to judgment day

Count the mistakes we had, the good and the bad, and throw it all away

I’ll give one last kiss, this time I won’t miss, before the apocalypse

There’s something else worth doing in this world that’s going to ruins

For the men and the ladies, the children and the babies crying, scared to die

Their prayers won’t reach heaven, but they’ll sure as hell damn well try

I’ll be joining celebration and losing any emotion, trying to accept

We all knew this was coming, but the delusion’s better than having nothing to expect

.

Walk to the end of the world and cheers to judgment day

Humanity is done burning days around the sun, guess we couldn’t stay.

~*~

Is it just me or does anyone else
Feel like this could be farewell?
Oh, we almost had it
Then we pissed it all away
Building walls, dropping bombs
Stop the world, I’m getting off
Oh, we almost had it
Never thought I’d see the day
When the world went up in flames…

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Sleepless in San Diego

Splash over your body while you drown on me
You ain’t seen nothin’ yet
Enter the galaxy of our sober demise
To the young and without type…

~*~

Just slow my breath

With drowsy whispers

That seek nightmares

And wayward kisses

Intertwining graceful

With my quiet jinxes

The ocean steals you

From a painted coast

I’ll retrieve the wind

Tasting your incense

And count the sonatas

In pastels of past tense

Listen to cold promises

Making us both shiver

But don’t hold the rope

Bullets suspended over

Misdirected phantoms

Of our faithless prayers

Arsonist hearts burning

Kerosene in full colours

Dear, don’t be ashamed

Of these tinderbox stars

Ash on your cinder skin

A paper town from afar

Froths of sea-foam teal

Alcohol in warm blood

Confessions and candy

Nonexistent rest flawed

Sundays spent revolving

Match stricken in water

Clocks in a slow motion

In a misleading summer

I won’t lose you this time

As my dreams begin to fall

You’re making me worse

And I don’t mind it at all.

~*~

Don’t believe it’s a never-ending summer
‘Cause they don’t exist
Tied around your tongue in all the rage and spit
So why am I the one falling apart?

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l o s t

i’m losing

i’m losing

all my thoughts

my senses

my rationality

my ability to feel

my mind

m y s e l f

all the things

that made me

who i am…

who i was.

i’m losing

i’m losing—

i’m lost.

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Crash and Burn

We always seem to find
A way to fuck things up
At the worst time, you know
We’ve never been the smartest
You know you could have anyone
But standing on the edge I said
I don’t want no one else…

~*~

Hey there, let’s crash and burn

This damn night is too old for the both of us

To take into consideration alive

But these stupid games are about to begin

So why don’t you pick a losing side?

Too young to die, too insane to change

Ain’t that what this city needs?

They say we’re wrong, but we’ll show them

We are the vagabonds that will lead

We’re too reckless, putting it all on the line

If there’s anything we can’t get, hell it’s all mine

We’re the wreckage of the generation to come

Kids dancing on boulevards and playing with guns

These empty mouths are way too crass

But we ain’t nothing to be defeated by victorious

So let’s pick it up straight off the sidewalk

Get out of the way, these minds are about to talk

We’re idiots maybe, as smart as bricks

But we don’t stop to think about your bullshit

Let’s go three times and then we can do it again

I can’t spell fun but I can say when

Crazy honest laughter was always the remedy

For a life of missed targets and bad candy

In lady luck and boy bucks, inciting headache riots

Working heroes and nine to five we are not

Should we feel sorry? Should we care?

Let’s burn hotel buildings down if we dare

Should we simply change? Where does it all end?

Kill off the clock with wasted hours we spend

But our skins and bones were already corrupted

At an early age, our mindsets are polluted

With nothing but garbage dreams and ambitions of junk

So I say screw all this shit, let’s aim to flunk

Sorry mom and dad, I can’t stand on your shoulders

If all it does is make me fall and break as I’m feeling taller

Sorry to the ones who say we’re better off this way

What a shame for the good opportunities you can never take

So yeah, we’ve got a million things to gain if we get it right

But we’ll miss the addicting adrenaline and the thrill of the fight

We have nothing to lose, nothing to prove, but everything to have

And fucking things up has always been what we are good at.

~*~

They say it’s time to grow up
And stop with these foolish games
But I say they’re wrong
She says go, go, go!
I don’t want to take it slow
There’s plenty of time for us to finally get it right
Why don’t we crash and burn tonight?

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Let’s Cheers To This

I’m losing control, my head is alright
I can’t shake the thought of me losing my mind
Been away for three days, won’t sleep ’til I’ve done
All it is I’m living for, now I will show you…

~*~

I’m already running out of faux words to say

So my blue blood just does all the talking

I wish the answering machines would shut up

When I’m in my bedroom, locked, blind, menacing

.

The pain sticks around for another retreat

Dousing me in concussions and nitroglycerine

I’ll be the expired month-old medication

That’s still ingested out of pure desperation

.

Patches of red scabs and frayed purple veins

A razor to the throat, daydreams that will remain

Ashes on my fingertips, but I’m not sorry

For the burning under my skin still scares me

.

I can’t go back now, for my lies melt and shiver

I’m left to degrade, my suns left to wither

Compensating for the dangerous sensations

I pulled the trigger on my character assassination

.

Perhaps soon after never the cuts will heal in jagged scratches

Carved in my backbone, my skull worn-out with deep scalpel notches

Nevermind that reality’s expendability is not a viable option

Let’s say our prayers and cheers to this, I’ll swallow without tasting my poison.

~*~

Your soul is down, I‘ll break the dawn
I took the stage, and now we’re
Taking back tonight, I made up my mind
This is my life.

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Infidelity in Fast Lanes

I’ve got a question
Did you think that we would ever believe you?
And on the note of rejection
The line you walk is getting thin, so thin
Your green eyes are potent
But last night I know who you were with…

~*~

Forgive me for the blatant jealousy

I crashed under in high speed velocity

Veering wildly on a falseless hope

This is more than I could have coped

I guess I didn’t expect more than one

To shove down my throat the gun

That would cheat my arrogant death

As you’ll hold away my last breath

Splinters divine like a crimson rose

And I can’t chase your peripheral ghost

So listen up and you won’t speculate

Love the hate and fucking hate the hate

Keep nice thoughts under your pillow

We can reach the distance by tomorrow

If the western train doesn’t take a shortcut

Then I’ll lose you with all that I’ve got

My darling Texas girl, please wait for me

You’ll leave so soon enough regularly

So forgive me for the implicit infidelity

Let’s try this again more slowly, and maybe I’ll be sorry.

~*~

Go back home now and go back to sleep
And we say, go back with someone else who
Who wants you more than me…

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tossing & turning

every bone

within my body

screams tired

it’s barely

before midnight

but i’m ready

to be taken

into the throes

of sweet oblivion

and sleep

but insomnia

keeps pulling me

back into the

inevitable cycle

that i end up

falling for

every single night

polar opposites

like a magnet

rending me apart

to shreds inside

until i bleed

i don’t know

what i should do

i’m too frustrated

i’m so confused

and i’m just fucking tired

and sick of this

internal tug of war

—[depression     versus     anxiety]—

battling inside

my system

but in the end,

they both always win

and i fucking l o s e.

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metal & skin (xv.)

hands trembling as i’m

standing silently in the

locked bathroom stall

fists clenched and slam

bruised, with tiles loose

my eyes never waver as

i have a staring contest

with the grinning razor

but i have a bad feeling

that i’m about to lose.

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wingless

the fall

was just another

excuse for me

to attempt to fly

and if that

doesn’t work, then

i won’t lose

anything when i die.

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